University of Utah Student Newspapers | 2008-01-31 | Page 7

Backsto Thursday, January 31,2008 'Even the weather Dear He Says, She Says is racist in Utah' He Says, She Says you deserve it. Hey, maybe you and Miss Hugnkiss can get together for some bra-burning girl-, girl bonding time. Alexandra Gregory Clayton Norlen REDUX ADVICE SPECIALISTS ,. Dear He Says, She Says, •k -i .;*• • • ' . • *-tm a college-aged girl from ; but of town who has been having trouble meeting people ever since graduating from the U a month ago. Where is a good place to make friends around my own age? Sincerely, .•• Amanda Hugnkiss CLAYTON ALEXANDRA NORLEN GREGORY He says: Well, you need to figure something out, that's for sure. I'm not going to tell you to get into a relationship—only you can make that decision. The best advice I can give you is to slow the datingfeamedown. Instead of keeping a list of 20 potential BF's running through your head, narrow it down to a solid three. Dear He Says, She Says: Dear Hugnkiss, Dear He Says, She Says, He says: Well, I'm single. If you're interested, I'm the guy next to Ally in the picture. You've got our e-mail addresses, so let me know. She says: Well, this depends on who you want to meet. If it's a future husband you're after, try Temple Square on a Sunday morning. If it's fixed-gear bike kids in form-fitting denim and dangerously low V-neck shirts, then hang out downtown on 300 South. It's the new trendy hipster hangout. If you get bored with 300 South (although last I check there was a giant UFO taking up a parking space, and that's anything but boring), hop on over to the bars to mingle with the rest of us Utah outcasts. Oh, and I work with this really cute guy with long hair and a geekish stare—the cute kind. , Whatever you choose, or whoever you choose, just remember that there hasn't been a documented case of syphilis in Utah for years. YEARS. I casually date. I might even say I "pretend" to like guys. Now I'm in a weird situation—half the guys I've been stringing have cut me from their lives, and the other half are getting really attached. I'm hurt from the boys that don't like me anymore, and I'm backing away from the ones that do. Should I just pick one? I can't believe I'm about to ask this question... Anyway, I'm tired of sex and my girlfriend wants it all the time. Sometimes I just want to watch TV or read the paper. How do I break the news to her? Part of me is worried she'd leave me if I told her. Sincerely, Dick in a Box -.;* Dear Dick, Sincerely, Cold Feet Dear Cold Feet, She says: I'm going to bypass the fact that you haven't been truthful with your boys and go straight to the fact that you probably aren't being honest with yqurself. It's interesting that you picked some guys who shrug you off and some who only want to snuggle up closer to you. Are you picking and choosing the qualities you want from multiple guys to create a cohesive Mr. Ideal? I suggest taking a hint from the first batch of boys and stepping away from the current situation. Take some time for yourself— Gabi "the Guru" Gaston REDUX MYSTIC Aries (March 21 - April 19) If I were to liken your life to a road trip, it would be short enough that you wouldn't be tempted to kill fellow passengers (driver included), scenic enough that you wouldn't be drawn to recreational Dramamine use and filled with frequent bathroom breaks, during which you ran little to no risk of contracting a venereal disease. Take advantage of these conditions while they last, because eventually the sterile paper rings covering the unseemly toilet seat that is life will run out. Taurus (April 20 - May 20) Unlike the mustachioed, cape-wearing villains of early Melodramatic Theatre, Taurus, you have reaped your rewards squarely. Don't let anyone guilt you about how far you've come or the work you've done along the way. Should someone tug angrily upon your aforementioned cape, tie them to a railroad track and twirl your moustache in unadulterated satisfaction! (Insert Muahahaha and atonal piano music, then freeze in tableau.) Gemini (May 21 - June 21) One of your coworkers is acting like a child this week, and you should deal with them as such. Rather than trying to reason with them logically, I suggest you beat them with wire hangers and then make "them scrub the bathroom floor with Ajax, preferably at odd hours of the night—keeps them guessing. Even if your coworker doesn't mature, your bathroom will be clean, and it's something to do with those damn wire hangers. Cancer (June 22 - July 22) Did you ever see the movie "Pretty Woman?" No, you're not going to fall in love with Richard Gere, convert to Buddhism and then have unconfirmed but highly likely gerbil sex, Cancer. But you are very marketable this week—so much so that you should sell yourself to nothing less than the highest bidder. You'll be sporting Julia Roberts' 12-foot smile all the way to the bank. Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22) This week, Leo, you are sort of like that kid in "The Sixth Sense" who talked to dead people. Except the people talking aren't dead, they're just spreading rumors.-.about you. In retrospect, you aren't really like that kid in the movie at all—except for that hidingunder-the-blanket thing you do sometimes. If you stop doing that, I'll stop talking about you behind your...I mean. Urn, That Haley Joel Osment sure has grown up. Anyone? Anyone? Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22) Sometimes, Virgo, you have a tendency to resist good advice because you don't like where it's originating. For example, if Hitler told you walking was an easy way to stay in shape, you might be tempted to never take another step (who among us would not?). This week, however, ignore the adviser, and cherish the advice. Besides, I'd be careful with those She says: Your boredom with sex is likely stemming from a glitch in another part of the relationship. You could try counseling, or new positions. I hear rolling luggage carriers can really spice up a romantic night's stay in a hotel. He says: Wow, I really don't know what to say, Dick. There's a Weezer song that addresses this problem, so maybe you should buy a copy of Pinkerton. Or—and I lmow this is scary—you could talk openly with your girlfriend like an adult. [e-mail] [e-mail] [e-mail] Germans. They have ways of making you walk. Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22) Nothing is sexier than the workplace. Nothing. Just the smell of Wite-Out, the hum of badly engineered machinery and the pile of purposeless and awkwardly worded memos on my desk whirls me into a frenzy. You, Libra, need to avoid the sweet musk of this intra-office aphrodisiac this week. It will only get you into trouble. Cool off with some of the coffee in the break room—it's always cold. Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21) You should always try new things, but not this week. Sometimes the universe wants you to push boundaries, and sometimes it wants you to wear a helmet when you go out, buckle up, and use the stove solely as a place tofixa peanut butter sandwich—with a butter knife. Keep it low key this week, and if you're still alive by next Thursday, we can order the blowfish at a sushi restaurant in celebration! Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21) I'd like to sing for you a little ditty I learned in the fourth grade that I think really encompasses your horoscope this week. I can't give you the exact tune, but just imagine it's on the same sort of musical plane as the Hot Pocket jingle: (Clears throat in preparation for lackluster rendition) "Iron wheels a'rollin down the new-built tracks. Each train kept on going, no thought of turning back. A lot tired workers...um...(incoherent and barely audible humming)...Promontory Point in 1869!" There were actions that helped illustrate that, too. Um, keep up the good work? Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19) This is a time to be very wary of what you say to others. In fact, if they could find a way to construct a Brita filter that was delicately placed between your brain and your mouth, I would buy.it for you. I probably wouldn't pay full price, but I would definitely spring for that opened box of Brita mouth/brain filters covered in dust at the dollar store, but just because I'm so giving. Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18) Have you ever wondered what a pet feels like after it has been neutered? (Just say yes.) Well, it feels groggy, naked, and weighted by an overwhelming sense that it's forgotten something important. Sound familiar? (Again, it's best just to agree.) This week you have lost the reproductive organs that are your self-confidence and joy. Give it a week, don't lick the stitches and you'll be back to your old self in no time. Pisces (Feb. 19 - March 20) If your week were an after-school special, you would be the one about the kid who starts smoking because his friends pressure him into it, and he then somehow ends up with cancer, herpes and a goiter. My message to you is: Don't give into peer pressure, people with cold sores or foods with a low iodine content...1 guess. [e-mail] Read more of Redux online at www.dailyutahchronicle.com Orion Archibald REDUX WRITER The record-setting blizzard that blanketed the Wasatch Front on Jan. 21 made travel all but impossible for thousands of commuters, knocked out communications and power and caused endless headaches for road crews, police and emergency services personnel. There was another group upset because of the blizzard—not necessarily because it made the roads treacherous, but because of its symbolism. "It was an insult. It was like Selma or Montgomery all over again," said the Rev. Lucas Jones, noted Salt Lake civil rights leader and pastor of the First Baptist Church downtown. "They say, 'I'm dreaming of a white Christmas,' but they never say, 'I'm dreaming of a white Martin Luther King Jr. Day.' For me, that's actually kind of a nightmare." Other prominent Salt Lake activists also took issue with the blizzard and the homogeneity it represents, which, they said, resulted in an unwelcome contrast with the message of Dr. King. "I'd love to be able to talk about white and black and yellow and red and all the colors of the rainbow sitting down at the table of brotherhood, but I can't really do that against a background that's literally as white as the driven snow," said Marion Wallace, chair of the Salt Lake chapter of the NAACP. "My words would ring hollow." Also upset about the monotone holiday were Hispanic and native American leaders, many of whom had also made plans to celebrate the legacy of King, but found themselves left out in the cold, Eric Martinez, an officer in the state's largest wholly Hispanic union, said that the blizzard "is just another reminder of what this state's character is and how difficult it will be to change racial attitudes here. Our struggle can be likened to fighting against a storm in many ways." The blizzard underscored the sobering reality of race relations in Utah, namely the fact that the state is 95 percent white and that minorities occupy an especially small role in education, government and the private sector owing to the fact that they are so few in number. Elsewhere in the country, celebrations of King's life and times took on a joyful and peaceful tone—even bringing to a halt, for a brief moment, the hard-fought, frantic campaigns of the presidential primary season. But in Salt Lake City, many outdoor speeches and rallies in King's honor were either canceled or went forward with a subdued sense of gaiety owing to the ominous symbol leering from the sky above. One such event happened on the steps of the Salt Lake City and County Building, During the rally, in an interlude between speeches and readings of famous passages from King's collection of speeches, one anonymous voice in the crowd shouted, "Even the weather's racist in this state," to murmurs of approval. The snow at that time was coming down in sheets and moving nearly horizontally, sticking to wool caps and peppering long coats and parkas with splotches of white. The visit of Dr. Cornel West to the U campus on Jan. 21 has been called a watershed moment by many in the Utah civil rights activist community, but the unfortunate weather and lackluster celebrations have already cast a pall over both his visit and the broader struggle for equal rights in the entire state. "We're very excited about the progress that we've made in the past few years, starting a conversation about race and what it means in this state, but the weather and its influence on the celebration of the life and extraordinary accomplishments of Dr. King is a regrettable setback that we will have to overcome," said Lucas Meier, a spokesman for the College Democrats. Although the weather might prove in the end an insoluble problem, there are still efforts being made to prevent a repeat of this year's events. A petition has begun circulation to change the date of the celebration of Martin Luther King Jr. Day to a more temperate time later on in the year, when flowers, trees and the lack of snow and ice would guarantee an environment more colorful and vibrant, and thus more conducive to the message of Dr. [e-mail] The Red Herring SUNDANCE ANNOUNCES WINNERS REDUX PICKS THE BEST, WORST continued from Page 5 continued from Page 5 Clearly, the crowd ate it up. Clearly, they need to get out more. Here are the remainder of the award winners, in no particular order; World Cinema Audience Award: Documentary "Man on Wire," directed by James Marsh World Cinema Audience Award: Dramatic "Captain Abu Raed," directed by Amin Matalqa Directing Award: Documentary Nanette Burnstein, "American Teen" Directing Award: Dramatic Lance Hammer, "Ballast" World Cinema Directing Award: Documentary Nino Kirtadze, "Durakovo: Village of Fools" World Cinema Directing Award: Dramatic Anna Melikyan, "Mermaid" Waldo Salt Screenwriting Award Alex Rivera and David Riker, "Sleep Dealer" World Cinema Screenwriting Award Samuel Benchetrit, "I Always Wanted to Be a Gangster" World Cinema Documentary Editing Award Irena Dol, "The Art Star and the Sudanese Twins" Excellence in Cinematography: Documentary Philip Hunt and Steven Sebring, "Patti Smith: Dream of Life" Excellence in Cinematography: Dramatic Lol Crawley, "Ballast" World Cinema Cinematography Award: Documentary , Mahmoud al Massad, "Recycle" World Cinema Cinematography: Dramatic ' Askild Vik Edvardsen, "King of Ping Pong" [e-mail] JL eluding the succulently delicious Christmas-ham-of-a-performance by none other than Sir Ben Kingsley. Come on people, an audience award! I mean, really? "Reversion," on the other hand, should be given some props for its daring and experimentation—as in, I'm surprised anyone was courageous enough to put their name on this. This might be one of the most poorly executed films I've seen in recent history—'miff said. D.L. Worst of Fest: "The Mysteries of Pittsburgh" Directed by Rawson Marshall Thurber Dramatic Competition Rawson Marshall Thurber has a knack for broad comedy, as evidenced by his hilarious short film series "Terry Tate: Office Linebacker" and the blockbuster comedy "Dodge Ball: A True Underdog Story." He makes his foray into drama with this adaptation of Pulitzer Prize-winning author Michael Chabon's novel, and emerges with, a flaccid, stillborn film. • The movie stars the ultra-vanilla Jon Foster as Art Bechstein, the son of a notorious Pittsburgh mobster (Nick Nolte), who works a dead-end job at a bookstore during the summer before he enters a career in economics. Uninspired by his choice of career and the empty, sex-only relationship with his boss, Phlox (Mena Suvari), Art longs for something, although it isn't quite clear what. The film contains fantastic production values and some passionate performances, but the main character's lack of passions, goals and dreams makes for a lot of busy work by the actors, but no direction hi which to travel. Two hours of wheel-spinning doesn't make for interesting viewing. Extremely skippable. S.P. [e-mail] [e-mail] [e-mail]