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Show Redux Thursday, July 12, 2007 GUI syee her© Movies and DVDs "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" Warner Brothers Directed by David Yates Written by Michael Goldenberg Starring Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Glint, Ralph Fiennes, Alan Rickman and Helena Bonham Carter Rated PG-13/138 minutes Opened July 11,2007 One has to wonder, if Daniel Radcliffe were to hold a press conference tomorrow and claim that he and the staple cast of the "Harry Potter" franchise were, to steal the John Lennon phrase, "more popular than Jesus," would even social stalwarts have to nod in agreement? The only question now that Harry is set to face the wicked Voldemort amid mass speculation of his non-existence is whether Harry will have to sue the Hogwarts administration in order to reveal the cover up. I'd suggest he enlist U.S. Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald for his support. "Captivity" Lionsgate Directed by Roland Jaffe Written by Larry Cohen and Joseph Tura Starring Elisha Cuthbert, Daniel Gillies and Pruitt Taylor vlnce Rated R/85 minutes Opens July 13,2007 With the advent of Eli Roth's "Hostel," the term "torture-porn" has become an industry standard. What once was an outside sideshow attraction for sex offenders and drunken fraternity inductions has now become its own sub-genre. So, how does one, in the words of Ezra Pound, "make torture-porn new?" Youfilmso much "raw," "inventive," "social commentary" torture-porn that prior to the film's release you have to edit more than one-third of the film's content just to get an "R" rating. You then release the film amid waves of protests, and call it "Captivity." Roll around in a barrel full of money. "Extras" Season Two Directed by Roland Jaffe Now available on DVD Ricky Gervais is a comedic genius. The writer-director-star of BBC's hit comedy "The Office"—parent of its U.S. equivalent, for which Gervais is executive producer—is back in his latest offering from HBO, "Extras." "Extras: Season Two" follows Gervais' character, Andy Millman, as he rises from being a struggling film extra—Millman is quick to point out he's really an "actor"—to the star of his own substandard sitcom. Peppered among Millman's own struggles for artistic integrity and romantic fulfillment are his encounters with celebrities running the gamut of Hollywood A-to-C listers. Last season had Kate Winslet coaching Gervais' co-extra Maggie (Ashley Jensen) on phone sex. This season has E)aniel Radcliffe ("Harry Potter") playing with prophylactics, Patrick Stewart ("Star Trek: The Next Generation") writing a screenplay and David Bowie giving an impromptu send-up song of Gervais' Millman: "He's a pathetic little fat-man, no I love the '80s And that means Hollywood will, too... The No. i movie at the box office this past weekend was '"transformers," a live-action update of the '8os cartoon show and line of popular toys. Considering the enthusiastic response the movie has received from audiences, it's apparent that there's a hunger for retro '80s fare. At the screening I went to, Optimus Prime could have replaced a light bulb and the audience would have cheered. A big-budget movie version of "Transformers" is like comfort food for a generation guilty of delaying the passage from adolescence to manhood as long as possible. Some of us still play video games in our parents' basements. Whatever America hungers for, Hollywood is there to shove it down our throats until we vomit it back up. Over the next few years, expect to see more of your favorite memories from the '80s bastardized at a theater near you. A few likely candidates: "The Smurfs" Through the use of modern digital technology, every pintsized, blue-skinned, mushroomdwelling Smurf will be played by Smurf-ish-looking comedian Patton Oswalt in what critics will dub "the most annoying movie ever made." Gargamel will be played by none other than Dan AARON ALLEN Hadaya, who bears a striking resemblance to the sorcerer. The movie will revive debate over whether or not the Smurfs collectivist society espouses communism. Papa Smurf will appear on "Hannity & Colmes" to defend his position, but will find himself at a disadvantage when Atheist Smurf wanders into the studio asking for free handouts. "My little Pony" Transformers were to boys as My Little Pony was to girls. Instead of transforming into cars and guns that you could pistolwhip your little brother with, each My Little Pony had a long, luscious ponytail and a cute tattoo on its bum—kind of like animal versions of Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen. Of course, the ponies we knew back in the '80s would be considered too nice and un-hip for today's modern audience. The movie would change the ponies into spoiled, Beverly Hills party The Beat Tuesday, July 17 King Arthur, Pipecock Lee "Scratch" Jackson, Jah Rastafari, Perry Jack Lightning, Jesse S22 The Hammer and Daniel 7 p.m. Dandelion the Lion are The Depot just a few of the many (400 W. South aliases emblematic of JaTemple) maican music legend Lee '—— "Scratch" Perry's prolific career. Whether it was on the Kanye West-produced Jay Z banger "Lucifer" or any number of Bob Marley and the Wailers' jams, chances are you've heard the work of this pioneer of dub and reggae. Perry's constant innovation places him at a level of influence in the island music world equal to that of The Velvet Underground in rock 'n* roll or Grandmaster Flash in hip-hop. It's hard to convey the influence thisjamaican shaman has had on music at large, and the genres he's shaped. Perhaps he puts it best himself in his characteristically cryptic manner "My music is not ska, it's not rocksteady. My music is a spiritual force from the Holy TYinity." Born and raised in Em me Packer Farmington, Utah, $5 Emme Packer is best 7 p.m. described as the female Kilby Court contemporary of enig{741 S. 330 West) matic folk icon Sufjan Stevens. Packer's songs are simple and catchy, her lyrics light yet contemplative and her acoustic guitar playing as delightful as her voice. One listen and you'll be in a folkish rock fervor to get your hands on one of her albums. How this excellent young artist came to mature, bereft of any professional tutelage or instruction, is a wonder. But it's certain that Packer's star is in radical ascension. Show your support for a fellow Utahn before her popularity makes the sentiment moot. Don't be fooled again ponies, voiced by Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears and Paris Hilton. Lindsey Pony is in and out of rehab for drinking too much at the trough, Britney Pony makes a cry for help by shaving off her tail and Paris Pony becomes an internet sensation when she films a sex tape with a sadomasochistic Teddy Ruxpin. "G.I. Joe" Remember that cheap rubber band that held GJ. Joes together at the waist? And how it would get really loose after lots of wear, so you had G.I. Joes that flopped around like somebody had shot them full of tranquilizer? And then the band would break, giving you lots of dismembered legs, torsos and butts with which to populate your war-torn, actionfigure battlegrounds? The floor of my playroom looked like the gory aftermath of a war between the Joes and the Scissor People. Reflecting current events, the "Joe" movie will thrust Duke, Scarlett and Snake Eyes into the war in Iraq, where we learn that Osama bin Ladin is really Cobra Commander in disguise! The movie ends with a public service announcement, teaching kids how to smoke out Taliban jihadists from their foxholes. Now we know—and knowing is half the battle. a.allen@chronicte.utah.edu Makena Walsh REDUX STAFF WRITER Tuesday, July 18 Alela Diane's muAlela Diane sic will transport the $6 psyche to a fireside 9 p.m. setting where stories Urban Lounge are made vivid—not (241 S. 500 East) with hi-tech graphics and overpaid actors, but with an acoustic guitar, a wistful, unsettling voice and lyrics that float into one's consciousness like a hitchhiker hopping onto the bed of a pickup. Diane's fusion of campfire aesthetics, gospel soul and rich, folk acoustics evokes the towering pines surrounding her abode in Portland, Ore., as haunting melodies twist tales of nostalgic family history. Sadly, this show is not at Kilby Court, so no actual campfires will be ignited, but what better place to appreciate the beauties of nature-minded folk than the Urban Lounge's urban dive digs. The term "alternaGhost Buffalo tive country rock" $6 may evoke terrifying 9 p.m. images of a hybridUrban Lounge ized Kenny Chesney(241 S. 500 East) meets-Mick Jagger mutant for many. But one listen to Ghost Buffalo's progressive and authentic mix of alt-country and rock 'n' roll will disabuse you of any newfangled connotations you may have about the label. Marie Litton's voice is penetratingly phantasmagoric, as the band's name suggests, providing a contemporary alternative for fans of Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young. m.walsh@chronicle.ittah.edu mie" (a term used specifically by Bernie Mac's used car salesman). Even the "smartest" black characDANNY ter lives off of doughnuts and video games and relies on his white, feLETZ male counterpart to get him out of trouble. If only there were a blonde-haired Film is a form offiction.However, commentary" of other summer reFemitron around to save Jazz—allike all art forms,filmitself is a snap- leases. sors—it's a simple way of paying for though one can't imagine a giant feshot Which makes the comparison a $100 million film. However, rarely male transformer's mammary globes Indeed, pictures in motion. work even better. have a film's protagonists been de- falling out of her shirt, the way the Thus it's apt that though television "Transformers" unwittingly proves pendent on the corporations them- film's lead actress Megan Fox's do, may respond quicker to changes in itself the by-product of unrestrained selves to save them from imminent throughout the course of the movie. pop culture, film has the ability to corporate greed, implicit racial pro- destruction. What the transforming I can only imagine Jazz's response capture the entirety of a decade in filing, sexual commoditization, in- automobiles prove is that despite to the un-clad Femitron: "Damn, girl, the span of a 90-minute narrative. creasing military intelligence blun- the overwhelming threats of cli- your dubs look hot tonight!" "Top Gun," for instance, encapsu- ders and the notion that at the end of mate change and diminishing fuel In the end, 'Transformers" may lates the braggadocio of the United the day, the U.S. military can conquer supplies (the major conflict in the prove to be a worthwhile foray into film itself is over control of a fuel- used celluloid, if only because it is an States' military industrial complex at anything. powering "all spark"), we as Ameri- example of American culture and sothe height of the cold war. Whereas the original "Transform"Titanic" equally captures the ers" cartoon was across-promotional cans, nay, as citizens of the world, ciety that no mirror could reproduce. sense of desperation felt when a tie-in for Hasbro's line of transform- require corporations and cars for Leave it to America's art form to rewealthy product of the industrialized ing action figures, its film iteration survival. flect all of its faults. nation state falls privy to a number demonstrates itself to be a two-andWhen the smoke clears, the only Granted, these interpretations of woes outside its control (read: the a-half-hour cross-promotional tie-in Chrysler.,.err, Autobot left beyond wont stop the inflow of currency to dot-com burst the encroachment of for multi-national corporations (at repair is the presumably ethnic Jazz, the Bay/Dreamworks coffers, which terrorism, etc.). one point a Mountain Dew machine who speaks with black vernacular isn't a bad thing. In the same way, Michael Bay's becomes a wicked Decepticon—call and introduces himself by saying, The potential problem arises when recent explosion-machine gun opus it a "Dew-cepticon"). No Autobot is "What's up, b*****s," while break viewers subconsciously ingest the "Transformers" is an apt snapshot of safe from the clutches of the General dancing. images given to them without examthe current decade, the double-otts Motors brand (every Autobot conBay extends his profile of racial ining the messages lying beneath the (or whatever you call the decade be- spicuously finishes its transforma- segregation—succeeding where the surface. tion by applying the GMC logo over . Supreme Court has failed—by forctween the '90s and the tens). Indeed, if only to use the client in This isn't intentionaL The movie its grill). ing the integration of sub-standard every film review since its release, isn't intelligent enough to succeed This isn't a new concept. Most black characters into hisfilm.No "Transformers" is more than meets as an action movie, so rest assured major studio films of late have been black character is shown without the eye. it carries none of the loaded "social saturated with corporate spon- mentioning his overbearing "mad.letz@chTonicle.utah.edu 'Tranformers,' true to its name, displays a number of social ills in disguise Dan Fletcher ^ ; ; \:/. V REDUX ASST. EDITOR : : > ^ X _; :-;-;*X I,,';/.' "' Gallows Orchestra of Wolves Epitaph Records Four out of five stars •••••sir Punk rock stopped scaring parents long ago. No one told Gallows. Orchestra of Wolves sees London's youngest bastard sons sneering Sex Pistols-snobbery over fifteen tracks—and one Black Flag cover— of early hardcore angst and modern hardcore dissonance. "Are there any ladies in the crowd?" queried Gallows frontman Frank Carter, half-naked in the 100plus heat of last Saturday's Warped Tour. Adoring screams arose • as Carter smiled and declared, "I hate every single one of you." Lock up your daughters. Punk rock is being resurrected. • t; Bad Religion New Maps of Hell Epitaph Records Four out offivestars • • • • T V • Twenty-seven years after bursting from the genre-defining, L.A. punk scene, Bad Religion is still writing pissed-off punk rock songs, still talking s*** on the "American Dream" and still existing completely against the grain. New Maps ofHell embodies everything the world has come to expect from the brainy punk-vets: circlepit-inciting power chords, soaring, backing melodies and sing-along refrains that compete with the catchiest of national anthems in their epic glory. Unlike those anthems, though, the war cries of New Maps honor only burning flags. Yellowcard • Paper Walls Capitol Records One out offivestars Paper Walls is set to soundtrack :•'<. many a memorable prom dance. > •; For 16-year-old girls, this album : will make lifelong memories. For everyone else, these fifteen anthems of pop-punk meets adult-contempo- : rary-sap probably won't do much- ':• Yellowcard does deserve its due I for crafting some of the catchiest pop-punk choruses since Dude ':'• Ranch. The saccharine sing-alongs of "Light up the Sky" will course -i through the veins of all who come in '-} contact until their dying days—but, j hey, so will the human immunodefi- :j ciency virus. , ; 1 • • ; v '-. ^v . "MxPx " ; : '^* 3 : Secret Weapon Tooth & Nail Three out of five - , stars : £ Pop-punk's legendary god-fearing chick-magnet, MxPx, has spent 15 years breaking hearts and knuckles with its angst-ridden, pop-punk balladry. And while some soften with age, Secret Weapon is the band's most pissed-off effort to date. Not only is MxPx sonically sharper than it used to be, but tracks such as "Top of the Charts" and "Punk Rawk Celebrity" ring with a mature disdain for the state of the modern punk scene that only age and experience can instill. Carrying the torch of its Ramones-•vis born, Descendentsrhoned, Fat Wreck-fathered melodic punk lineage, MxPx's Secret Weapon proves that not all pop-punkers have gone yellow. dfietcher@ chTomcle.utah.edu I |