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Show * Page 4 * , • ™ SUMMER UTAH CHRONICLE ARTS&ENTERTAINMENT Wednesday, June 8, 2005 Walking a tight line The Fletch Fetch Q 'High Tension' slashes its way to gore and glory, but its finish fizzles Someone rings the doorbell late at night. and a stick wrapped in barbed wire play im"High Tension" Alex's dad answers the door and so sets into portant supporting roles. Lions Gate Films motion his unfortunate run-in with the arWhat seems like an admirably old-fashDirected by Alexandre Aja moire. The killer (played by Philippe Nahon) ioned gore-fest takes a turn for the worse Written by Aja and Gregory Levasseur Starring: Cecile De France, Maiwenn and is a thick, brutish man whose jumpsuit must in the final act. Yes, we get another one of have come off the Extra-Squeaky rack. He those trendy "twists" that forces us to reconPhilippe Nahon slowly and methodically goes about killing sider everything that came before it. It is a Rated R/91 minutes Alex's family. Through luck and pluck, Marie surprise, but only because the audience will Opens June 10, 2005 avoids discovery. Alex, on the other hand, is gape at the audacity of the filmmakers for Two out of four stars bound, gagged and stuffed in the back of the even trying such a thing. • • killer's van—the kind of rusty, gothic vehicle The twist completely negates everything Aaron Allen that exists only in horror movies or maybe that came before it. Sure, a slasher movie is Chronicle Writer in the daydreams of Tobe Hooper. Marie ob- nothing more than audience manipulation, ligatorily runs to the rescue. but this one was upfront about it until the Until the last 15 minutes, "High Tension" "High Tension" strips the slasher-horror end, which turns unnecessarily perverse. is a gritty, no-fat-around-the-edges exercise "High Tension" has the right stuff—blood, in sweaty, slasher gore. Its simplicity is its genre down to its basics. Marie finds herself charm—as charming as a movie in which a in one nasty set piece after another, nar- guts and a tough heroine—but it loses its guy gets his head rammed off by an armoire rowly evading capture, hiding, sweating and nerve at the end. It should have stuck to its trying desperately not to scream. Simple as guns instead of falling back on psychological can be. It's all down hill from there. trickery. Audiences ought to wait until "High Ten- that—and it's effectively squirm inducing. aallen@chronicle.utah.edu The gore is also top-notch. A buzz saw sion" comes out on DVD—maybe by that time its awful English dub will befixed,and the filmmakers will have included an alternate ending. The ancient cliche, "it was all a dream..." would have been better than the cruel joke awaiting moviegoers at the culmination of this film. College girls Marie (played by Cecile De France) and Alex (played by Maiween) shack up with Alex's parents in a homey cottage, miles away from anyone who isn't a backwoods, hillbilly serial killer. The film's opening scenes are quick and to the point. That's the good news. The bad news? The original French soundtrack has been dubbed into awkward English that will make your teeth grind. There's even a line in which Alex says something like, "My parents speak pretty bad French, so they speak in English most of the time." How convenient! So what's her explanation for why everybody's lips move independently from their words? Never mind. Thankfully, once the killing starts, dialogue is pretty much reduced to whimpers and screams—the universal language of the slasher film. If only the blood smeared all over my face distracted from my hideous beaver teeth. The Rottom 1 ine advice for the romantically disenfranchised Bring down the friend Reich Dear Danni, I have a close-knit circle of friends who get along really well with each other, except there's one girl who makes everyone uncomfortable. It's not so much specific things she says—she just has a big personality. She's loud and bossy and thinks she knows how to do everything. No one stands up to her, I guess, because she is intimidating. Danni, I hate going out when she's around, but I hate feeling like I have to change my Danni Nutter plans all the time. Why does she have this hold on everyone? Do you think I should just sonal life. let it go? Do you think I should sit her down The old saying "What you resist persists" and tell her? seems very appropriate here. I would imagine that although everyone around her is Dear "Friends," picking up on her behavioral traits, she has There's one in every group. no clue, and so compensates by confusing This girl isn't blazing any new trails by her confidence with brashness. infectious dynamic, however, my guess is Your friend's over-the-top tendencies are that she has yet to come across anyone like actually feelings of inadequacy. herself. And on the off chance that she has, By avoiding any frank or candid discusshe probably quickly leveled them down to sion with your friend, you are perpetuating size. the cycle. The fact that the entire group is alI would put money down that your friend lowing one member to dominate and dictate has struggled with issues of identity, vali- is only going to create Grand Canyon-sized dation and trust most of her adult life. She divisions and hurt everyone involved. You has, no doubt, isolated and offended people become passive-aggressive and resent your and embarrassed herself in weak attempts to friend, while she continues her totalitarian connect. social reign. It also sounds like she displays tendencies You are creating the monster. I sense your of domination, which leads me to believe hesitation and concern over a possible conyour friend feels little control in her per- frontation, but you need to get over it—it needs to happen. Still, be careful: Your friend will probably react defensively, especially if you decide to stage a "group intervention." Perhaps with this individual, it may be best, and most effective, to have a one-on-one conversation. Either way, what is missing from this relationship is integrity. As all of you dear readers have heard me say before, you cannot build a relationship without open and honest communication—having this conversation will open up space for both of you to create whatever dialogue you want. Starting from scratch, you'll be able to ease the tension and begin a relationship that is committed to the same things. By letting her run her racket on the group, you're not being a true friend. True friends can say all of the good things, but can also be straight about things that are missing. The sooner you have this conversation, the sooner you're both going to start having a substantial, open friendship. We would all do well to remember that everyone, EVERYONE wants to be liked and perceived well by his or her peers— especially by friends. Keep that in mind when you go to speak with your friend. The end result is to make your relationship better. Speak with integrity, and you will reach a common ground. dnutter@ chronicle.utah.edu Have you ever danced with the Calendar by the pale moonlight? June 8 Friday So Calendar in the past has been accused of being insensitive, amoral, anti-feminine, anti-Semitic, antiMormon and, more often than even we expected, the antichrist. What's the deal? It's just funny for us to think that a Bible-thumping, female, Jewish, Jesus-like, Hallmarkjunky events listing such as ourselves could be so misunderstood-come on guys, it's not like we're freakin' Oprah here or anything. That succubus is TRULY demonic.oh man, now we're racists, too, huh? Well, so be it: Calendar is now officially starting the "We Hate Everyone, Everything, Your Mom and Even Pretty Sunsets" movement. As you might imagine, it will include a great deal of hating-playa' hating, hatin' the game, hatin' on sucka emcees, etc. That's right kiddies: You name it, we hate it. In fact, if you join right now by calling the toll-free number flashing in your Calendar (1-800-We-Hate-You), you can receive the ever-popular "We hate blue skies, the sun and unimaginably cute puppies" package (as seen on late-jiight TV) for the low, low price of SHate-99. But act.fast! Supplies are limited! Wait, what are we talking about? Our supply of hate is endless. It's like a black hole of hate-we don't know where stuff goes once it gets sucked in, but * nothing escapes. Still, we understand that hating so many things at one time can be daunting-how do you, dear Calendar reader (whom we hate), keep track of everything despised? Well, since we hate confusion as much as we hate making sense, we're devising a list to keep things at once orderly and chaotic. Here, in an order we devised based only on how much we hate order, is the firstever Calendar's List of the Hated. No. 1) Calendar hates unnecessarily angry people and the music they make. Although it may seem paradoxical for a Calendar filled with so much hate to hate the similarly hate-filled, we don't care-they suck and we think they need to go eat the cheese out of Martha Stewart's butt. What's the logic in the anger? Does it get you laid? Laid angrily? Is there rage-induced cuddling afterward? Malicious pillow talk? Well, whatever, we hate you, and it's about time you cheer up agro-kid-we advise hating the Drowning Pool, Dry Kill Logic and Opiate for the Masses Show tonight at Lo-Fi Cafe (265 S. 6 0 0 West) at 7 p.m. It worked for us, we're elated right now. Tickets are free if you punch the bouncer In the face-trust us, we tried. We hate him too. No. 2) Calendar hates arbitrary abbreviations and people too dumb to spell their own (band) name. Do you guys really think that by avoiding all those querulous vowels and consonants, we'll just forget the fact that you're an idiot? Oh wait, sorry, we forgot you're a moron: You probably did think that, huh? That's cute, and by cute, we mean we hate you. So, when we see that C-Rayz Walz, J-Live and Vast Alre (of Cannibal Ox) are playing together at The Velvet Room ( 2 0 0 S. 155 West) tonight at 7 p.m., we can do only so many things: Laugh at the fact that, between three bands, not one managed to spell their name, unlike our 3-month-old sister would, then vomit, then laugh again, then vomit, then laugh and vomit at exactly the same time (which is really funny, as it turns out), then cry ourselves to sleep with salty tears of hate because society is so totally screwed and everyone knows it. No. 3) Calendar hates when there is so little going on that we're forced to create unfunny diatribes, such as the one you're reading, lest we be fed to the deadline lions. Yes, they actually exist-they're big, mean, have sharp teeth and are uncannily well versed in grammar and AP style. Does it get any scarier? We think not-and we ought to know, having survived the scary wilds of Africa, the mortifying depths of any Will Ferrell movie ever made and the sight of ourselves when we look in the mirror after having written some of the (albeit hilarious) crap we admittedly have. So, instead of facing our editors, we just construct these schizophrenic bitch-and-moan therapy sessions for our own mental health, your readerly enjoyment, and the senseless killing of trees. Oh yeah, and The Headphones are playing at the Velvet Room ( 2 0 0 S. 155 West) at 7 p.m. We hate them too, in case you were wondering. Now if you'll excuse us, we're going to go drown ourselves in a bathtub full of molasses... So mediocre, it's scary The City Sleeps in Flames, so why not the genre? Scary Kids Scaring Kids The City Sleeps in Flames Immortal Two-and-a-half out offivestars Fighting for air in the dying days of the musical vacuum known as "screamo" takes a lot of heart. Scary Kids Scaring Kids have got the heart, but sadly, these are still their genre's dying days. The Kid's major-label debut, The City Sleeps in Flames, fights its way through black-metal gloom and prog-punk ambience without batting an eye but manages to poke a few out as it enlists everfatal nu-screamo cliches. Embodied by "The Only Medicine's" descent from Swedish melodic-metal to South Jersey poppunk in a matter of heartbroken whines, this weakness flirts with a Mars Volta-esque prog-ovation but never quite seals the deal. At its best (title-track "The City Sleeps in Flames"), these frightening tots flirt with a B-grade thrice, but when the emo-schmaltz becomes mostsuffocating ("Just a Taste"), The City Sleeps devolves into a B-grade parody of its own faltering style. Metal machismo takes a swing at the Kids' softer side as the In Flames-inspired riffing of "My Darkest Hour" and "The Bright Side of Suffering" battles off the high school heartbreak of front man Tyson Steven's diary-esque musings, but it's simply not enough to stifle the p re-fabricated screamotion. In the end, the only thing scary about Scary Kids is that their obvious talent is being slaughtered by a dying genre. By the grace of God, they willoutlive screamo's broken-hearted bane. Dan Fletcher Kill the Scene Upcoming Concerts Mon, June 6 •Machinehead, It Dies Today @ Lo-Fi Cafe—8:30 p.m.—$15 •Hoods @ In The Venue—7:30 p.m.—$11 Wed, June 8 • Drowning Pool @ Lo-Fi Cafe—8 p.m.—$I2/$I5 •J-Live, Vast Aire, C-Rayz Walz @ The Velvet Room—9 p.m.—$12/515 •Firescape @ Mo's—7 p.m.—$7 •On Broken Wings @ The Circuit—7 p.m.—$10 Thurs, June 9 • Sleepy Time Gorilla Museum @ Ego's—9 p.m.—$8 •The Building Press, I Am Electric @ Urban Lounge—ro p.m.—$6/$8 Frir June 10 •Metalhead @ The Velvet Room—10:30 p.m.—$5 •Jesse Dayton @ Ego's—9 p.m.—$8 Sat, June 11 • Aqualung @ Lo-Fi Cafe"— 7 p.m.—$8/$io •Brant Bjork @ Burt's Tiki Lounge—9:30 p.m.— $8/sio Sun, June 12 • B-Side Players @ Ego's—9 p.m.—$8 New Releases Avenged Sevenfold—City of Evil— Warner Brothers Coldplay—x&y—Capitol Countdown to Life—Govern Yourself Accordingly—New Age Records Death by Stereo—Death for Life—Epitaph Esthero—Wikkid LW Girrrls—Warner Brothers Fat Joe—Things of that Nature—Atlantic Finch—Say Hello to Sunshine—Geffen Kelly Osbourne—Sleeping in the Nothing— - •' : v Sanctuary < Master P—Ghetto Bill Gates—Koch Modern Life is War—Witness—Deathwish, Inc. MxPx—Panic—Sideonedummy Secret Machines—Road Leads Where It's Led—Warner Brothers Static-X—Start a War—Warner Brothers Compiled by Dan Fletcher |