Show r wa TH 21 ff BY cahors just as the sin set upon the rest less waves aves the spirit of henry bort dort chicagoan passed on to the bourne of eternity he ile had taken passage from london with his brother ex pecking to arrive home in time for the holidays the second day out he became vio gentl ill and died the brother de sirous of getting the body to the united states bribed the cap tain to permit it to remain on f board rather than bury it at sea as is the custom several of t the h e first cabin gers learned the truth and made vigorous protest the captain en deavo red to pacify them but failed finally in desper C aaion he called a burly irish sailor pat there is a dead man up in cabin als sor go up to tonight night and throw him into the sea pitch him overboard do you understand 9 sor replied pat saluting the next morning an angry bevy of passengers waited i pon the captain we demand to know began the leader if you are going to do as we request and b iry at sea the corpse in room he was buried last night replied the captain he was not hotly replied the pas in chorus what s that cried the captain in surprise and anger the body is still there exclaimed the spokesman subjecting us all to danger from the contagious nature of the disease which carried him off of pat thundered the captain hap pening to catch sight of the irishman as he scurried along the hall did you bury that man last nighta I 1 did sor he did not I 1 denied a t lady in a mauve colored gan ha he did not the corpse is still in room what a thata cried pat an did say room she dial bellowed the captain t that the man you pitched overboard god be merciful gasped patrick crossing himself room did say room the in mon I 1 t rowed out was in room but the man in room wasn gasn t dead was hea yelled the captain well now replied pat his face a study well now I 1 dunno he said he bornt wo rn t but them fellas from chi cago be such dammed liars ye can cant t believe em an I 1 t re rew biri him over aist th same me b gorry r S ser er ous thoughts some people seem to think that in order to enjoy themselves properly propel prop etly ly on christmas they must eat twice aa as much as on other days the ordinary man eats too much any day hence the christmas dinner Is often productive of unpleasant retrospection this ap plies also to editors who were once popularly supposed to belong in the bread line and aie ale now recognized as chauffeurs of no mean ab I 1 ty u h u V y thomas W lawson arraigns the present day life by declaring that in ye olden tymes the ballot box wa was a our sanctuary and 0 ir cure all and our homes were ere our theaters our dance halls and our clubs that a just the way I 1 felt about it too thomas the last time I 1 went to a dance and could rit do the barn dance darn these new tangled dances anyhow it u ii there la is no real reason why a worn wom an who knows how to bake a turkey t know something about turkey too u T you cannot always tell how much your friend likes you by the cost of the christmas present you receive u h u most speculators know all there Is to know about the market except whether it Is going up or down u A u the turkey that isn t chicken hearted about now is a brave bird in deed 0 combar sons tons hamburg la news aws ne saw a team of 0 f mules on the street the other othe r day for the owner ed 4 0 and we da de c eded that the next time a dissatisfied subscriber called us a jackass we would reflect a I 1 atle before taking it as an in suit t |