Show TIIE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE! SUNDAY MORNING -- 3 MAY 21 1931 I FANNIE HURST SCORES PARAGONS OF VIRTUE r aloofness of one ing with the who has hevef been tempted or drawn Into the emotional hoipollot of life the -- woman who has never been tempted to sin or err and who by virtue— by virtue —by virtue — of that fact has little symor understanding or milk of hupathykindness toward thote who must man battle against the impulse to err The easy virtue of the untempted li like the easy bravery of the unafraid The heroes in battle are those who go forth with terror in their hearty It is a simple matter for a woman who has known only security all her life and never been impelled to transgress the social barriers or tempted by a passion stronger than herself to take on the attitude of paragon of virtue before some poor soul who has known the torment of temptation and the penalty of succumbing Men who have gone through their youths on a low emotional basis whose experience has never been fraught with danger or the desire to explore forbidden areas can make cold parents to whom the storms raging in their children are alien evil and to be handled with the rigid philosophy of the parent to whom right and wrong are black and white The paragon of virtue withdraws chastely into himself at the suggestion of foible or struggle in those about him There is cruelty in that withdrawal coldness lack of mercy and worse complete lack of human understanding There is no indictment for Instance so alien so slaying so as the protective gesture of the secure woman who draws herself away from the woman whose feet have not been so sure as her own There Is no indictment so cruel as that of the Juryman who looking upon a fellow human being who is under fire for succumbing to temptations which he himself has never experienced votes his inexorable ‘'guilty" Children who grow up in homes overspread with this dark menace of the paragon of virtue have not only their own weakness to combat but must learn the early and bitter lesson of paying tribute to a whole set of ready-madconcepts of life and machine-stitchewhich are superimposed upon them by a parent who lacks not good Intent and purpose but in whose veins flows little if any of the milk of human under' standing Heaven deliver a youth from trying to explain to a father whose unrebelllous nose has never been lifted from the grindstone of life long enough to understand some of the wild passions and yearnings which may be stirring in his imaginative offspring Such a father trapped by lack of cold-eye- Children Have Little Chance Under Them Paragon of virtue XT you have one in your family chances are that fact Is aearcd into the look In your eyes More relentlessly than steam roller war tank and bearing down with Just that massiveness paragon of virtue of the family can pursue his or her ruthless way Sometimes It is the the head of the house this paragon of virtue a man weighted down with his responsibility to Fannie HnrU lives for them according to his own of what constitutes right and precepts wrong And usually to the paragon of virtue right and wrong are as rigidly defined as black and white Often the paragon of virtue is the wife mother or the older sister It does not particularly matter to those destined to live in the navy-blue shadow what the sex of the paragon of virtue happens to be He or she de- termlnes the flavor of the household a household that is steeped In the phimealosophy of life of one who has expects and life a sured yardstick by thoe about him to eaU the thirty-siInches of fcla selection s yard The paragon of virtue Is usually Loudly and allegedly so Bit so terly Will remind you no matter she it be of all that he or in order to bring sweet- which parent has undergone ness and light to the family & Aloof uith not one ounce ’of human understand Holier-than-tho- ing The fastidious wife who looks upon her husband’s or children’s ehortcom -- thou at- mosphere of tlx the r i - - i Selfishness b class of women who It them is arouse me to anger and whom collectively and separately I would love to elap In the face It Is that clasa that Is always talking about its "nerves'' ' The happiness that they destroy— these nervoUa women— would remake this sad and tired old world! Nine times out of ten nerves are pure selfishness called by a prettier name and treated with respect—but selfishness just the eame Here is Jane's mother for example Jane ii 39 and hae been engaged to be married tot a whole endlesa year and could be married tomorrow if It were not tor mama’ nerves ‘Since piy father’s death In 1919 writes Jane “my mother hae been very easily disturbed she sleeps badly and worries very easily It I bo much as sneer mama Is atlxlous she simply dam not face all the excitement of a wedding and having Jerry's people come ed ' MRS NORRIS ( vir- tue? imagination resigned to his destiny because he hss never had the vitality to question it can see only right and wrong in his son’s dilemma The same applies to the untempted wife It is so easy to remain ylrtuous when the tides of life do not so much as climb the threshhold of the home The untempted woman who prates of her virtue can be as funny as she is terrible suid inexorable too she can be in her demands upon her family and her exploitation of those qualities in herself which are as natural and without credit to her aa the eolor of her eyes or the height of her body It la aometlmes held that in literature the unchaste woman has been glorified d ten-dere- her finding a smaller apartment too and our getting started by ourselves and to an undue extent Great authors have dissected her with leniency and even admiration That to some extent may be true but if so the reason is thoroughly comprehensible Women who have suffered women who have paid with their minds and their hearts and their bodies for social transgressions are not thereby admirable But the fact remains that their average for sympathy and kindness and tolerance Is high These women themselves have suffered Usually they have paid They do not draw their skirts away from those who have likewise sufferedj5e cause pain has ground into them human understanding virtue They are not paragons That is why when there comes along a man or woman whose sympathy and understanding pour out to those In turmoil regardless of whether or not they themselves have suffered those same pangs we canonize and glorify them That is tolerance in the lmagi of Christ's tolerance The truly great have little time or use for their own virtues They do not use them as yardsticks by which to gauge humanity The Puritans as goodly a people as ever set gallant foot on strange soli made paragon of virtue Their Ideas of right and wrong became rigid pattern of their lives Goodly people certainly people In the awful and literal sense of that hyphenated word God-fearin- and yet it was this rigid sense of their virtue Which imbued them with inhumanity and thpower to oppress their fellows with suffering and barbaric chastisement Both heaven and hell lie about us in this strange interval called life Most of us must pass through at least some of the Tormer in order to achieve the reaches of the latter "Heaven" as Wordsworth says "may lie about us In our Infancy” but later in life the humanness of nature sets in and most of us being human do not thrive if judged by the unnatural yardstick of the family paragon of virtue (Copyright 1931 by King Features Syndicate Inc ) i ON WOMEN WHO PLEAD “NERVES” to be brained for all this nonsense Rose st not only exacted but got Arthur’s conoem and care all the while Often when the subject Is started at the breakfast table Rose begins "Please Arthur please don’t talk about moving on—every time S speak of It she cries and asks me to put it off It would mean Into swimming suits and are into the surf screaming and shrieking with Joy But Mrs Robinson's high school chum's brother was drowned 15 years ago and she can’t beer beaches at all If they must they may wade But even while ardize her child's marriage her ’child's happiness for life by this fllmsily disIt is amazing that a guised jealousy good wife like Rose will accompany her husband on a business trip and harass the poor man with a display of dlsturb- - must shut her eyes and gasp dramatically whenever a door slams faintly protest again the perfectly normal chatter and laughter of the children lie prone on her bed with a wet towel folded over her eyes whenever anyone dies or gets bom snd lead the whole disappointed troop out of the movies whenever a pistol is shown on the screen "Mother can’t help It dear it's one of her nervous days and she doesn't want you to go—she can’t have Tommy here tonight— and Just can’t make the effort My nerves are terrible tonight Joe and I'll have to ask you to turn off that radio" Thus the proud possessor of the nerves Forty years ago mothers used to talk about "bilious babies" This one and that had a "bilious baby” We don’t do that any more We know today that biliousness In a baby metns dirt snd that a dirty baby Inside or ‘ SAY- S- Nlne times out of ten nerves are pure selfishness called by a prettier name and treated with respect—but selfishness Just the same But the saddest and most surprising nervousness of all is this maternal nervousness that not Only destroys the pleasures of children on their holldsys and deprives them of a thousand dellghta that are theirs by right but that plants in these Impressionable little natures seeds of anxiety and doubt that will bear heavy harvest later on Women get into the habit of fretting and complaining the family meekly puts up with it and it grows worse and worse from year to year until as an actual expression of her own Identity Mother feels that she must shut her eyes and gasp dramatically whenever a ''edoor slams faintly protest against the perfectly normal chatter and laughter of the children Forty years ago mothers used to talk about "bilious 1 babies" This one and that had a "bilious baby" We don't do that any more We know today that I biliousness in s baby means dirt and that a dirty baby (inside or out has a dirty mother Nerves are a kind of mental or spiritual dirtiness MAn Intelligent woman can reduce the demands on her Kathleen Norris time her hands her mind to the subnervous point If she will be honest and generous enough to make the effort Some definite cause — too much candy or coffee too late hours too many theaters and too little sleep tbeae may be causes “money— the world trouble of too little money— often Is a primary cause of nerves Face life more simply more humbly in a smaller house with a smaller car— but face It without nerves Enjoy meals enjoy sleep enjoy taking chances and letting the children take chances Let them learn to swim and row and drive and ride and stand on their own feet (Copyright 1931 by the Bell Syndicate Inc) I para- gon of spirit-breakin- although I coax and hint and plead she really is not fit to face it" Pure laslnesa selfishness jealousy— but under the name of nerves ' Then there are nerves like those of Rose Jones Rose was at luncheon the other day entertaining us with an account of her nervous troubles It seems that she went on a business trip with her husband and they both returned in a state of collapse In the hotels the dirtiness of the beds tils tressed Bose to such an extent that she had to have the sheets and pillow cases and even the blankets replaced Then at the table she began to worry about the mushrooms on Arthur’s fillet of beef Very silly of her she admits that now but ihs just was having one of her nervous days and when she feels that way everything drives her frantic Foolishly she went to the theater She blames herself now beoause when she her is nervous crowds always mak worse Well Rom began to feel worse and worse and finally they had to go out And then the got crying and had to get out of the taxi Why Arthur didn't brain her Rose says she didn't know As a matter of fact far from expecting t home of KATHLEEN NORRIS FormerMost Often Just -- ing — what chance have children in the holier than-' e The sweetness and light of such a family Is apt to be vinegary and bleary Children growing up in such a horns unconsciously carry the burden of feeling a debt which they dp not underetand yet an expected constantly to recognize drenches the atmosof the paragon of of home the phere virtue Women mothers imbued with this mealy consciousness drain and inhibit the precious youth in their keep- Loudly and Rigidly They Set Themselves Up as Superior to All L 's "Mother can’t help it dear it’s one of her nervous day and she doesn’t want yore to go” unless you want to make me horribly nervous! A window shade was flapping somewhere all night and I feel like a witch this morning Unless you want to drive me right out of my senses stop fiddling with that pencil an shut that door and let’s have peace Just the way Alma serves breakfast makes me perfectly frantic— I can't stand anything more X thought that horrible man would keep you an hour on the telephone I don’t know what possesses '' people to tglk w long I" A third type of nervous woman Is the nervous mother I always feel so sorry for her children! The lucky little Smiths and Browns have all the fun the little Robinsons whose mother Is nervous look on from the sideline The Smiths and the Browns hustle ing Inconsiderateness all the wsy they are wading she Is fluttering up and But the saddest snd m06t surprising down the beach like a frantic hen begnervousness that not only destroys the They may ging them to be careful pleasures of children on their holidays not ride on the various concessions and snd deprives them of a thousand dewheels and rails she simply cannot bear light that are theirs by right but that the nervous strain she has gotten the' plants In these Impressionable little nachildren themselves to such a state of tures seeds of anxiety' and doubt that-wil- l nervous excitement now that it Is not at bear heavy harvest later all unusual to hear them pleading to be sure there Is a real "nerves In their own excuse of nervousness some cause physical or process inside the Interrupted They nervously ask their father the jarred time at breakfast nervously rush off body eternally fretting and distressing to school nervously calling to each the nervous mother or wife other they are nervous over school exBut nine times out of ten nerves are Women get Into aminations— the Joyous careless laugh'pure ter and confidence that ought to be a the habit of fretting and complaining the family meekly puts up with t and part of childhood Is entirely unknown to it grows worse and worse from year to them i year until as an actual expression of It is extraordinary that a good mother her own identity mother feels that she like Jane's mother will actually loop out has a dirty mother Nerves are a kind of mental or spiritAn intelligent woman ual dirtiness can reduce the demands on her time her hands her mind to the subnervous point If she will be honest and generous enough to make the effort Some definite cause— too much candy or coffee too late hours too many theaters snd too little sleep— these may be causes money— the world trouble of too little money— often Is a primary cause of nerves To get rid of the nerves get rid of the Face life more simply more trouble humbly In a smaller house with a smaller car— but face It without nerves Enjoy meals enjoy sleep enjoy taking chances and letting the children take chances If they want to fly let them fishfly If someone eaks them to go to leam them Let them go ing let swim and row and drive knd ride and stand on their ojvn feet When a little girl of 10 thinks sha can give a play in the bam tell her to go ahead and give It Don’t murmur feebly that your nerves are Just terrible this morning snd you Just cant stand the thought Of what would happen If that old place took fire and half the children In town were trapped In it If the family suddenly had a vision of what share of these distressing six symptoms really was unavoidable and what share of them was merely selfishness stupidity and habit it would be bad day for the nervous women They would stand stripped and ashamed before the kind husbands the dear sympathetic obedient children who whisper so respectfully of “mother’ nerves" (Copyright 1631 by 4 the Bell Syndicate IncJ V( - ’ i t t : |