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Show Page 10 The Ogden Valley news Volume XIV Issue XX August 1, 2007 Making Room to Foster By Kera Erickson Daryl and Linda Melton of Liberty have provided foster care for twenty-two teenage girls during the last 17 years. When they moved to Ogden Valley seven years ago they even designed their home with plenty of bedrooms and an extra laundry room to accommodate the needs of future foster children. “Foster care can be demanding,” Linda Melton says, “but the reward is when those children come back some day and tell you thank you, and that they finally understand what you were trying to do for them. “One of my most touching moments came in the form of a letter,” says Linda. “A foster girl who had been with us for three years suddenly ran away on Christmas day. She wrote years later and said how sorry she was—that she didn’t know why she had done it. She said, ‘I have a mom and dad, but you will always be my parents.’” Linda recalls this moment with tears in her eyes. “It’s those moments that make it all worth it.” “Sometimes the reward is something as simple as seeing them graduate from high school,” Daryl Melton comments. “When they make it, when we see them succeeding in any way, that’s the pay off,” Linda adds. Both Daryl and Linda are originally from Southern California. They have four children of their own—two boys and two girls. On scholarship with the Navy, Daryl received his B.S., then an M.S. in Chemical Engineering from the University of Utah in 1971. He was then assigned to the Naval Academy in Annapolis, Maryland in 1980 as an associate Professor of Chemistry. After retiring from the University, he went to work for a company in Annapolis called Aeronautical Radio, Incorporated (ARINC), and worked on Air Force programs for most of his time there. The Melton’s first experience with foster care was actually not planned. While living in Maryland, they were introduced to a young teenage girl, a friend of their oldest child’s. Then one day the Melton’s received a call from the Department of Child and Family Services (DCFS) asking if they would be interested in providing a foster home for this 15 year old girl. Their own children were between the ages of 15 and 18, and some of them were moving out on their own. They then decided that it children usually remain within the state that they are originally placed. However, once arriving, they began the journey to become certified foster parents in the state of Utah. In March of 2000, they moved into their beautiful log home, in Ogden Valley. “By June of 2000, we had a foster girl placed in our Liberty home,” states Daryl. “There are many misconceptions about foster care that scare people away from opening their homes to children and youth,” Daryl explains. The first misconception is that children in foster care are bad or troubled. “These children are not in foster care because they have done anything Daryl and LInda Melton at their home in Liberty. wrong,” Daryl was possible for them to take in a foster says. “Many times they are victim to situchild. ations that they have no control over.” He “We enjoyed our experience so much also emphasizes that youth that may be that we decided to continue providing “dangerous” are placed in group homes foster care,” Daryl says. With Daryl’s or other types of shelters—not within the work, he often had to travel, and Linda foster care system. felt she had the most to offer to teenage “We have never felt threatened by any girls, so all 22 of their foster children have of our foster children, nor have we been a been young women between the ages of victim to any form of violence or theft,” 12 and 17. Linda adds. Daryl had always wanted to return to Another misconception is that fosUtah where he had enjoyed his college ter children will either supplement your years at the University of Utah. So in income or, conversely, hinder your income. 1998, he jumped at the chance to become Daryl states, “There is definitely a finanregional manager of the ARNIC office cial responsibility that goes along with located in Ogden. He commuted back and foster care, but not a financial burden.” forth until 1999 when his wife could join “The state is good about providing him and they could officially begin their funds for education, health care, and basic life in Utah together. They had terminated needs,” says Linda, “but there are times all foster care in Maryland because foster when you go out to lunch, or plan a fam- ily trip when you need to reach into your own pocketbook. That’s only fair to the children in your care.” “I think it’s important when you decide to be a foster parent,” says Daryl, “that you plan on treating your foster children as one of your own biological children. They need—and deserve—your time and attention, and the same social activities and all the things that your own child desires. If you don’t have the willingness to provide these needs then I think you would be doing the child a big disservice.” Many fear that if they provide foster care that they will never be able get out of a situation if things become too much for them to handle. The Melton’s explain the process of becoming a foster parent. First of all, if you are serious about considering providing foster care, they suggest that you do your research. “There are many seminars you can attend, and there is mandatory training to become certified as a foster parent.” “Foster care is a big commitment,” Linda comments. “Right now I have a young girl who attends counseling three times a week, and that can be a lot of running around to get to appointments.” “Another thing to consider,” Daryl adds, “is that, with these older children, a lot of times they will never become reconciled with their families. We have had some of our girls three and four years and, with the assistance of DCFS, have helped them through their transition into adulthood.” “Those making the decision to be foster parents should be seriously committed to the job, but if things become too difficult to manage, or if serious issues do arise, you can ask that the child be removed from your home,” says Linda. “We’ve had to do that a couple times,” Daryl explains. “And there was no hassle from DCFS. I have never felt pressured to take or keep a child.” “We also have resources to help us and a case manager that assists us with any questions or needs that we may have,” FOSTER cont. on page 17 |