Show MOT CONCERNED sir asked the pale faced side whiskered man of the heavy set chub by cheeked man who was smoking a long black cigar and reading a sport ing paper would you permit your boy to smoke cigarettes when he grows up that s a question you 11 have to de cide for yourself replied the heavy set man I 1 don t know how you would look at it you see it s you and your boy for that I 1 did not refer to myself in the question sir what I 1 meant to in quire was whether you intended to permit your own boy to smoke I 1 ve never given it a minute s thought what never pondered upon the effect upon the constitution to say nothing of the morals of your son to allow him to smoke the deadly things never a thought no sir and will QU allow him to drinka I 1 have never thought about it oh can such things be can such things be allowing your child to grow up in the midst of temptation and never speaking a fatherly word to look here colonel you mean well I 1 guess but maybe better let me tell you that I 1 m a bachelor of 30 years standing since the last girl threw me over and I 1 haven t any the man of the pale face and side whiskers was making a dissolving view of himself judge TRUE TO NATURE scribes has written a moon shine novel in one chapter the still Is discovered by a flash of lightning penn Is it deiy realistic 7 I 1 should say so even the lightning is jagged chicago dally news vengeance first clubman why did you black ball Goodman 9 you dont even know him second clubman I 1 never spoke to him in auy 1 fe but I 1 hate him and his whole family they live in the flat below us and they have corned beef and cabbage three days a week N Y weekly the senators idea senator what Is you idea of this so called high finance 7 that replied senator badger is a part of the business that I 1 seldom talk about but I 1 will say confidential ly that I 1 think it s all right we who serve the people need the highest finance we can get milwaukee sen tinel AT A FANCY DRESS BALL miss breckstone Brick stone no lord bangle sey I 1 cannot marry you I 1 m so much below you in station lord oh bosy dont say that kiy oh why I 1 born lower in lifee now if id only been born a shoeblack oh no no no offense dash it all exit miss punch so convenient agent this is the automobile you want you never have to crawl un der it to fix it sparker you don f agent no if the slightest thing goes wrong with the mechanism it instantly turns bottom side up puck further away bill does our wife go to new lork to do her shopping 7 jill oh yes she thinks she makes her money go further so she does a few miles further yonkers statesman aoh ooh first steamship passenger how immense is the ocean second steamship passenger taint ly yes it feels like one grand heaving ston ach life two me i one gentleman ne gabor how many men board at your house now little nettie two neighbor who are they little nettie oh one is a gentleman and the other is papa A L be why does the average I 1 lieve every man who tells 1 er I 1 e ler bebau e way down in her heart she believe men cai help lov ing her fou ton post exola ned say paw what is the difference be tween quarter back and full backa quarter back my son replied the parent whose entrance into the house from the lodge the night before had been at a very early hour Is when the man behind the counter shoves back a quarter of the change coining to you and iou place it in your packet without looking at it milwaukee sentinel CLUNG TO HIM he I 1 understand the man that carrye Is engaged to Is going to the dogs she that make much dit terence I 1 reckon carrye is awfully fond of animals cincinnati enquirer IN GOOD SPIRITS A parish minister met some time ago a prominent member of his con gre gatlon publican by trade who while engaged in the cellar of his shop a day or two previously had accident ally become immersed in a barrel of liquor wherefrom owing to his ex corpulence he was rescued with difficulty and commenced to condole with him on his unfortunate expert ence you must have felt very able indeed in such a painful situa tion observed the cleric och no was the cheery reply I 1 wis in the verra best tit bits AU CONTRAIRE are you afraid III bust it popa er no im afraid you wont copela journal her remedy he I 1 understand you have been at tending an ambulance class can you tell me what Is the best thing to do tor a abiol en hearte she oh yes bind up the broken portion with a gold band bathe in orange blossom water and apply plenty of raw rice guaranteed to be well in a month tit bits H s stories east ho is yo ir wife s favorite authors Crimson beak I 1 am she says I 1 make up some of the most wonderful stories she avei heard statesman merely a suggestion he bashfully may I 1 eh alsa your hand miss dollyu she oh I 1 suppose so but it would be so much easier for me to remove my veil than my glove achl cago dally news CALM AND COLLECTED deporter Ke porter so they tell me that you and were calm and col lecter after the explosion 7 0 flanagan ell sor I 1 was calm but poor wor collected N Y pi ess d mrs always uses a lorg nette but she can t see through anything then detroit free press A naturae V hat astonishes ou so my sona ih s a man that looks a lit tie 1 betho ones I 1 ee in rte cloth CL ad cudse |