Show qu te assent al young boxley is learning to be a machinist ah very commendable wants to have a trade so that it anything hap pens to his fortune he can 1 nonsense no he simply wants to be able to keep his automobile go ing it won t happen a n governor at the consul s party I 1 demember em ember your face perfectly sir but bour name tor the moment has es aped my memory stranger I 1 am delighted to meet rou again our excellency my name Is ivan my mustache incipient is beginning to be noticeable at laist said the callow south yes replied it reminds me of the defeated pugilist I 1 saw at that prize fight last night aw how was thata down and out not that kind of a lace all my threats dian didn t bother him at all said the collector noa replied the merchant said we could go as tar as we liked eha well er I 1 think the p ace he mentioned was farther than you d like RIGHT AT HOME elizabeth whose best young man bad been invited to dinner do ou think his intentions are serious mammal mother I 1 should say so why he eats as if he already belonged to ie family career projected so they won t let you say any thing in congress 9 said farmer corn tassel no answered the youthful youth fil states man well you jes stand pat one these days when they come around and want you to talk don t you say a word then you 11 get the reputation of bein a sphinx which Is one ol 01 the most valuable things a man in poll tics can have As to the tramps yes said its awfully lull in the shipping business nothing at all to do its particularly hard on the tramp steamers why exclaimed I 1 should hink tramp steamers would be delighted when there s nothing to do philadelphia press explanatory did you read about the girl who shot a burglar 7 the fellow the police said bled like a horsek yes I 1 have a theory about that spring it she shot a nightmare philadel phia ledger dee ded no said samson after he had brought down the house by his last shakedown I 1 will never give another encore to this audience that s flat he was right it was so very flat that not even the janitor s fragments could be recognized in the general debris rebuke or encouragement he kissed her on the forehead the proud beauty drew herself up to her full height and thena he coulden couldn t reach any higher than herlies of course louisville cour fer journal amel orating first hobo I 1 sawed wood second hobo and you one of the profesa 0 clarence how could youa first hobo I 1 got out of an old log jail second hobo forgive me clarence fer misjudging you terre haute star it depends don t you think this 2 cents a mile legislation tor railroads is rather oh I 1 dont know automobiles have one scent for all the miles they travel and that s stronger than any law can make it her symptoms mrs jawback the doctor thinks you have gout and nervous alon mr jawback why the doctor chasn t seen me mrs jawback no but he saw me should be cons stent I 1 really believe said her jealous fiance that you permit other men to kiss you surely you don t object replied the pretty girl you always declared you were opposed to monopolies another family row started young wife I 1 ve tal en very great pains over these biscuits dear and the benedict and now I 1 suppose vou want to see if they 11 have the same effect upon me stray stories some delay those comic papers aie awfully slow one of em published a joke last week that I 1 sold two years ago nothing they published a joke this week that joe miller must have sold them years ago at the bum restaurant paw what s that orchestra playing here tora money tommy they coulden couldn t possibly be playing for the kind of ameel they mould get here 1 i bothered by the lawyers widow john had only made a will there wouldn t be all this biffi culty about the property visitor do the lawyers bother youa widow bother 7 they almost worry me to death I 1 declare I 1 some times almost wish that john haan hadn t died tit bits good job tuner your daughter told me to call and fix her piano pater well what ails if tuner three strings busted pater what 11 you take to breah the rest of ema ach lou e don t you adore german io language too too those gutturals too low in the neck cleveland leader should have been a year in my new play thirty days elapse between the third and last acts you hot off easy cleveland leader wanted to have it handy de lush abow look here mccosh you dont want to go right back into that saloon again surely you re not thirsty so soon mccosh no I 1 ain t thirsty rl now ol 01 boy but say tha saloon s a good place to be in case I 1 do get that way 7 conveying an impress on why do you persist in your refusal to tall on questions 7 because answered senator sorg hum at the present time that Is the surest way to convey an impression that you could say something imbor tant if ou choose washington stai how it looked no dear I 1 must retrain from kisa ing you until you return from the re but well the last kiss I 1 gave you after you put on bour make up looked like a wet oasis in a desert of chalk A uniform Def clency yes the general of the venezuelan army is going to meet the french corn mander and arrange the details of the armistice well what causes ahe delaya the general had to borrow a pair of shoes and a calico shirt on the ocean blue when that storm was blowing yes berday said the vivacious girl I 1 just threw up my hands in despair well returned her escort grimly something got the matter with me too but I 1 dian didn t er er I 1 dian didn t throw up my hands awful to contemplate weary walker wot yer lookin so worried about hagson tatters I 1 just read a piece in de paper dis mornin where a acl gent said doln bothin all de time is de hardest kind wo gee suppose dats true had to W hen w e first got married my wife and I 1 quarreled for a year about whether we should buy an automobile or a horse and buggy how did you settle ita we compromised on a baby car nage A helpful wife benham A man told me today to day to mind my own business mrs benham what reply did you makee benham I 1 told him it gasn wasn t feces lary that you looked out tor that it probably was I 1 heard a ery loud noise in the lall early this morning thomas a ery loud a very suspicious noise what was it I 1 guess it was the day breaking my dear old tragedian yes I 1 was once engaged to old van rocks daughter but I 1 gave her up preferring art to wealth snooks and now bet you d like a return engagement in russ a your excellency we have executed every revolutionist in the province well but the revolution still goes on then we must resort to more dras tic measures philadelphia bulletin both ent tied to the name customer have you any extract of beef waiter yes sir brown or customer brown or white waiter yes sir beet tea or milka you betl stranger I 1 dont like your er it Is too fluctuating and tain mr olds port why great scott that s its charm I 1 ve already made 2 this year by betting on it he Is that it jn st be hard on the people ol 01 london to have a chief magistrate who Is always like a bad dream what do 01 mean by thata well isn t he a knight mayora the real shock don t you think the people in gen eral are very much shocked by these revelations of big profits in graft shocked of course they are that they get in on the ground floor first baltimore american dangerous devotion wife thinks he is the greatest man in the world yes that s very pretty and proper the only trouble Is that she is getting to think so too pers stent he s the mosi remarkable bill col lector I 1 ever saw oh I 1 dont know he struck me as a plain everyday sort of fellow every day yes that s just it he never lets up on a fellow at all one reservation you say he s trustworthy I 1 d trust him with my life what well er that Is provided my life insured in his favor |