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Show TIIK SAN JUAN RECORD Wednesday, July 31, 2002 - Page 14 Talking with Turbo You can imagine my surprise when I read in Mary Lous column last week about Staci Hoggards birthday party and my dog showing 7 looking very hungry and lonesome... TYirbo Torres ate his fill of burgers, cake and ice cream and didnt even ask for a doggy bag to take home to Caveman." I have seen it happen a hundred times. It is the parents who are always the last one to know when their kids are going astray. Today Turbo is free loading food at birthday parties... tomorrow, he will be pan- handling tourists at the golf course. When Mary Lou first told that me that my dog was mooching food at a birthday party, I vehemently denied it. I told her emphatically that it was that scoundrel of a dog, Cody Sonderegger. But the evidence mounted against Turbo and so I didnt have much choice but to go confront him. stomped in the house, "Turbo!" lie looked up from his I sleeping spot. "Turbo. We have always been close. ..talked openly about dog-gu- y things... like to me, been a son youve did so be honest with me, you food Hansens the the at beg up other day? Come on the truth!" Turbo wouldnt make eye contact and weakly confessed, "It was probably Cody, that riff-rafrom up the road." I could sense he was going to break, "Turbo.. .are you sure? I have it on pretty good sources it was you. ..eating burgers, cake, ice cream. Any of that ring a bell?" Finally he hung his head down, "Okay, it was me, but I couldnt help it." My too kind and loving wife was watching our entire conversation and interjects, "Apparently the acorn doesnt fall too far from the old oak tree.". I whirl on her, "What the heck does that mean? We arent talking about trees or acorns we are talking about burgers and cake." She continues, "Well, you know you made your bed, now you are going to have to sleep ff in it." Confused I respond, "What are you talking about? I have never made the bed. And what does this have to do with burgers and cake?" In a defensive tone she quips, "Well you cant have your cake and eat it too." "That is just my point... I didnt get any cake. Or ice cream or burgers for that matter! No siree, no doggy bag for the CaveGuy." "All I am saying is that you taught him to act like you. You invite yourself over to other peoples houses, especially at dinner time. You come up to them when they are eating and you look at them with big brown eyes, careful to not appear to be begging, only keenly interested... in their food. Occasionally you whimper and lick your chops, with an acute sadness, pretty soon they are handing you food left and right. Remember, you did that with Lynda Boyle just the other night. I thought we were going for a walk and before I can say panhandler we sauntered by her house and she was feeding you chocolate chip cookies. She is so gullible, if it would have been me I would have spanked you with a rolled up newspaper." Defensively I respond, "This isnt about me. This is about Turbo. If you dont mind, I am trying to have a conversation with my dog." "Iley I am just trying to be helpful... just remember, some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts." I look over the top of my glasses, "Would you please. What family tree are we talking about? You are the only nut here. I am just trying to have a nice talk to my dog about burgers and cake." "Well dont get huffy...all I am saying is that what the Chinese say; you govern a family as you would cook a small fish - very gently.. .and I suppose that goes for dogs too." "I am not going to cook the dog! I am just trying to show him it is poor manners to beg for food." She snickered, "Well if that KroatiViG Kfd5pn25cbool Teacher: Dee Robison 587-30-34 Separate classes for 3 & 4 year olds We specialize in helping people establish good credit MESA 15 minute loan service LOANS $100 to $600 Need extra cask for Back to Sckool? 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