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Show THE ZEPHYRMAY 1995 PAGE 26 Guest Editorial... CINNAMON as By ROLLS objects Julie Gillum moved from a town with so few single people that dating was considered deviant behavior. But now I'm in Moab. There arc actual men here, even in winter . hibernation. It's like waking up from a five-yeAt all (A little advice for you actual men out there who might cross my path costs, don't run. It could arouse my predatory instincts. If you allow me to catch you, I might simply toss you in the air a couple of times, bat you with my paw, and let you live). But my years in the dating wasteland, though somewhat cold and bleak, did e thing. Occasionally, provide me with ample opportunity to ponder this I too of to continue much, loving my exploration imported a man I contracted a chronic obsession. or charity-remedifavorite, personal my dating, case of Geographic Dating Disorder, which is characterized by the inability to become interested in someone in one's own calling area. I developed a formal date wager with the women in my office and managed to take second place by more than a year, even with the "pity date" clause removed from the bet. In short, I am uniquely qualified to write this article on dating in the 90s and its mysterious connection with goldfish, dogs, and cinnamon rolls. I ar ... male-femal- al 1995 LAST YEAR OF PRODUCTION FOR OZONE DEPLETING REFRIGERANTS WE ARE READY You may ask yourself, is this woman crazy? And if she isn't, what are the and commercially- - viable manipulation of the ramifications for the opposite sex? My advice is: don't do this, it's a bad thing. But if you did, the ever-popul- ar following information might be extremely useful to you. We'll start with the cinnamon roll theory, since it's my favorite. In a highly reliable study reported to me by a guy at work, researchers tested the responses of male volunteers to a variety of odors. The conclusion is bound to send the makers of hankies to have a good cry. The men in Chanel No. 5 running for their this-h- ot sexual the study showed the greatest arousal at the aroma of-- got cinnamon lace-trimm- LIVE WITH FRIENDS AS NEIGHBORS IN AN INTENTIONAL COMMUNITY 100 acres near Moab with creek & springs Private and common land ownership Environmental & Social sustainability Consensus Decisions - seeking members - Box 1171 Moab Utah 84532 ed rolls. This poses several questions. Does the smell of cinnamon rolls merely inspire a generalized lust, or is it the pastry itself that is the object of desire? Is the local supermall cinnamon roll parlor a good place to get a date, or might we innocent females d get trampled in the stampede? And what is the etiquette regarding the of rolls? cinnamon I'm afraid that my years in social Siberia did not prepare eating me for this. If my date is eating a cinnamon roll, should 1 avert my eyes? Offer to leave him alone with it? Gag and leave the restaurant? Ask for half and stare with haunted eyes until he gives it to me? single-minde- The haunted eyes technique works, I must tell you. If you can put the heart and soul of a golden retriever into your expression, do. And this provides me with an exrellent excuse to drop the cinnamon roll discussion and move to my next topic: men and their dogs. Please understand that I love dogs. I love men who own dogs and dogs who own men. But 1 have ambivalent feelings about men who arc owned by their dogs. These supreme canines are frequently referred to as "boss dogs." (It is a major coup to depose a boss dog, and personally 1 have never accomplished it My biggest coup Moab's FIRST mountain bike touring company." We now rent bikes, camping equipment and we do day tours too. .0: Box 423. Moab7UT84532 V1 (801)2597090 i AL'S SCHOOL OF ELECTRICITY... NEW LOCATION! 1233 S. Hwy. 191 (next to Red Sands Body Shop) I Sfc w Electrons are bound to an atom by a certain amount of energy which is measured in electron volts. Depending on the atom, ionization potential ranges from 5 to almost 25 259-522- evs. 3 J |