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Show i ae en | POINTBLANK _ FROM THE FRONTLINES: a ee : PINELAND, TEXAS By Pastor Don Falke COMMUNIQUE #1 Well, the war is proceeding here on the front, (a small little out of the way East Texas saw mill town.) The other day a woman drove by the outside mail box with a load of lumber in the back of her pick-up. (Remember, I said we were a saw-mill town.) Anyway, she took out the mail-box. Ripped it clear off its foundation and dragged it away. A day later I was in the Post Office, a place of congenial conversation, here in Pineland. This will be hard for you Moabites to understand. I mean the Post Office being a place of friendly conversation. As I remember the Post Office in Moab has been manned by the Talley Bone for years. Anyway, I was drawn into a conversation about what had happened. I knew that information because Miss Judy (Pastor Don’s lovely bride) works for the Talley Bone, ie. Post Office, in Hemphill, a neighboring sawmill town. But I didn’t volunteer what I knew because we are at war and loose lips sink ships. Anyway, the good folks I was talking to had decided that this missing mail box had something to do with the Amtrax attack. (Now I understand that you folks in Moab are being attacked with Anthrax, but here in Sabine County, Texas, it’s the damn Amtrax that’s after us.) Anyway, the way they figured it, it seems that for some reason the outside mail box had been removed so that the Talley Bone would have to come inside the Post Office to mail their Amtrax to New Jersey. After awhile of listening to this I started to tell my good neighbors that it was a woman in a pick-up with a load of lumber in the back that had demolished the mail-box, but then I began to remember the scenes I had seen on T.V. of those Talley Bone ridin’ around in those red Toyotas pick-ups with scarves on their heads and I realized that Pineland, Texas, like New York, had been attacked by a suicide Talley Bone Truck Driver. We just thought he was a woman because he had a scarf on his head, and a lot of our women folks down here wear scarves on their heads. Now we are stopping all red Toyota pick-up trucks driven by men (and women) with scarves on their heads at the county line. And that’s the way it is here on the front lines—-until my next report, God bless you--- and God bless America. Anyway. the way they figured it, it seems that for some - reason the outside mail box had been removed so that the Talley Bone would have to come inside to mail their Amtrax to New Jersey. COMMUNIQUE #2 Well I hate to give you all the news from the home front at once but Jim said my report was too short, and he hinted that it was not serious enough. Well, whose report is this anyways? This is just the second piece that I have written for the Zephyr and | already have editor trouble. I guess Jim wanted more opinion and less on the spot reporting. The facts of the mail box attack are not enough, it is inciteful (sic) analysis that Jim wants. (Editor's note: I am not sure if Pastor Don meant to write “inciteful” and was being clever, or "insightful" and can’t spell. The reader may decide...]S) Well, here it goes. The fact is we are thinking about joining. up with the Tally Bone down here. For one, their policy on women sounds pretty darn (Miss Judy said I couldn’t use damn anymore) good to us. I mean finally there is a group of people who knows a woman’s place and are willing to put her there. Now remember I’m just reporting here. Iam not saying that I agree with it all so don’t | feel so safe out here. There's just something about The West... The wide open spaces. The Peace & Quiet. The Simple Life... Yes Honey, so do I... W/ SUNSET VILLAGE, << oa ae a 7 [ UNITS NOW AVAILABLE! ...the Titanium Gates the Infra-red Camera Armed Guards... A SECURE GATED COMMUNITY ON : / - |