Show Christmas editing like Northern Utah He it is all Shout editE diting be someto Thrae has seemed in a hurry to get in his ing "car and get his beverages thing in between the Christmas card that is merely home to fellow celebrants As he spun out of the parking lot signed "Happy Holidays Carol and Frank” from your the clerk yelled “Well there long lost friends who only goes another beer run” 'write you once a year ahd the Apparently the person I had ' e ' just helped out the door didn’t Christmas mono- graph from Jane and Bob who pay Baibequing among the cacti and aiding and abating a express so much success and pride in their family accom- robbery — now that was a plishments that you fed like Jackson Pollock Christmas stabbing yourself with the : That all really happened but fake Christmas icicle oma- I still can’t really believe it ments So far this year my father V lf you are a writer of sorts and I got in a fight over how there is just too much pressure poorly I sharpened kitchen to write a Christmas letter but knives the new puppy really I will txy filling you in on the loves the tarie bf its own- last three Christmases feces I was paranoid about TWo years ago we rose to a die people 1 work with ai lot I cold quiet winter morning got more rejection letters from ' with sunrise hitting the publishers I'm really starting Wellsville Mountains There to regret all that sunbathing I was a fluffy feral cat doing its did as a teen I shoiild have best bird imitation in an invested in Microsoft AOL ' ancient heirloom apple tree rt v and I really ' out ouf back window It was installsthat -' door screwpd up so cold that birds were avoid- I probably paidtion project ing the cat and instead gath-- -: too much for that truck I ered around the chimney of bought I ate too much drank the neighbor’s house to catch too much and didn’t exercise a little steamy warmth Later I in the day I was jogging along enough had impure draughts whole bunch of peo-a about ' the canal path while the leg of ' pie my mother called to tell lamb was roasting and saw a about her colonoscopy I me young dear do a perfect nice enough I didn’t wasn't die - Bambi ice lining split on the bottom of the canal That was" a Norman Rockwell day That really all happened but who would believe it? Last year just outride ' THERE'SA NO EXCUSE Ilk FOR ABUSE rr O O a & E c-- oj ( L! E - D- 0 2'sS'” Mmtmaankhan—aaatiMtm ” : : © x give enough moncy to NPR or the United Way I probably took too big a tax deduction for that stuff I gave to DI I " ‘ " 'a a Jackson Pollock Christmas Wal-Ma- believe it mcnnpa usa Peace joy and honesty to you and all your loved and even ones v : t iMJiltyit T 3133 OJ C9- LihStoraHi® ed didn’t )edrn enough new soft ' ware programs and I never Dennis Hinkamp is a freelance'-- those-blues humor columnist living in Logan got around to taking He is anrang a number of free- guitar lessons lance writers Whose columns promised myself I would appear in The Herald Journal as Coveting? Yep I was all over that one too The only thing part of an effort tp expose read--that saved me was that there ' ere to a variety of community are only ten commandments ' voices He is not an employee of This all happened the 1 ! the newspaper: Feedback at unedited truth You better :dhinkampOmsncom' oO- ' : : - I" : : : - Tucson i O : : ‘ domestic violence - - - : For Free Confidential help with five-pag- : '' Call - - : - : ' - westoppedto buy some charcoal at the only con- venience store open because - that's what you do on a Christmas day when it’s the least bit warm aad you are ' ' from somewhere as cold as Northern Utah On the Way out I held the door for a young jman carrying two 6f those' suitcase-size- d packages of beer because that is what you do oh Christmas day when yoti are from a polite place ' - ' "i r If You Con Read This 4 Help Someone Who Can’t xistmt'iioiiausa 129 N Main 752-021- Bridgerland Literacy 716-914- ' ' 1 ! r ijclothinge shoes equipment i Hours: Mon-fr- i: SHANGRI-L- logon 1 A HEALTH FOODS 9-- 7 Sat: 9--6 43t taf NoitnMain jlunr LbUM' SHAWM Aimrions Cihtu " - V ' i " : |