Show CA— The Herald Journal Logan Utah Wednesday October 22 2003 SHERMANS LAGOON pm ftmH&FORi rep HMRLCSS mournt Fox News’s Colmes irks stHumenm PReSMSHT CUNTON ohm loom? cm imss n USING A 1 100 Pill liberals conservatives iIeW YORK (AP) — Alan Colmes has been y called an ir punching bag a runt a milquetoast and— this one must really hurt — 'a conservative at heart And theise words are from people who usually agree with him You should see die he gets from peofellow: disturbed Wrote one don’t who ple “When you talk I fantasize about shooting you I pretend I have a pistol in my hand and shoot you all over I pretoid to shoot you in the head and in your torso If you died I would celeon-a- wishy-wash- 3E “7 ils CATHY f our MnsFcnon GUARANTEE: 3F WRE NOT IWN SIMM RETURN HOUR PHONE IN OS 0RI6UMI I BUT HME TO CUT UP TOE ORIGINAL PACKAGING TO SEND IN THE MR CADES RA NN REBATES PWW& SO X WUTT HME AlW ORIGINAL PACKAGING X SNO ‘OUR SATISFACTION GUARANTEE NOT “SOUR SATISFACTION GUARANTEE (correct BUT IF! As Fox News Channel’s resident liberal and half of “Hannily & Colmes” Colmes must feel a kinship with Internal Revenue Service auditors process servers or telemarketers Conservative fans of Sean Hannity have little use for lum Liberals want to see him throw a few more haymakers but that’s not his style “People say to me ‘Why don’t you fight fire with fire?’” lie said “You fight fire with water USIEMTOTOE FINE PRINT PACKAGING TOE REBATE Mil EXPIRE ETTHER MAN JW STOGKfj TOE ' notfire” BEETLE BAILEY ' r Colmes called Franken’s book “very funny” but the typical liberal line - Colmes like Hannity a veteran radio person- ality said some of his liberal critics misinterpret his style “Sean is a fastball pitcher” he said “I may throw a change-u-p or a curveball as well as a fastball I may deal with things with a little humor sometimes That may be perceived as weakness I think most thinking viewers realize that’s why our show works” He dismisses the idea dial he’s not on equal footing with Hannity Other people suggested y him for the job— not just Hannity — and he ' wouldn’t have lasted seven years if he wasn’t up to it he said Colmes’ book jacket includes V ‘Crossfire” have faded i The liberal media watchdog group Fairness ' ami Accuracy in Media studied two weeks of '1 “Hannity & Colmes” this summer and found that between the and their guests conservatives spoke 2768 lines to 2004 for liber- - - --- - —' : 1 iWifcrwr to Gerw&iBPAHPilL i ng - co-ho- sts ?: ‘ co-ho- ’ V AP Photo rr - st of Fox News Channel’s Alan Colmes “Hannity & Colmes poses for a portriat at Fox's newsroom in New York The debate show thrives as part of Fox's high-ftyiprime-tim- e Kneup Colmes’ manner —in the face of y Hannity’s fire— is on display in his new book “Red White and Liberal” Unlike political authors who snarl and bite Colmes is nice He writes as much to reason with conservatives as to rally liberals “Hannity & Colmes" meanwhile thrives as prime-tim- e lineup as part of Fox’s high-flyin- g other political debate shows like CNN’s 'rVt ' ' ' low-ke- HAGARTHE HORRIBLE G brate” THEW NEWER MAITTOBMO O writes that Colmes “knows that facts and evi- deuce count for more than ideological and personal attacks” FAIR cites other instances every night where it claims Colmes hasn’t been reliably y ' “Hannity gives no quartet” said Steve Ren- liberal: he voted for Republican Rudolph Giudall a FAIR analyst “Colmes is often giving liani as New York mayor refrained from aid-- V points when he should be fighting When the cizing the Iraq war while in progress and chips are down Colmes often concedes” In supported Trent Lott during the uproar over bode “Lies and the Lying y his that appeared to praise Strom comments i Liars Who Tell Them” A1 Franken ridicules campaign for president him even reducing Colmes’ name to a smaller t in 1948 More recently Colmes backed Rush V type size than Hannity’s Franken imagines Limbaugh in die controversy over the radio y Colmes having to earn his Fox News Channel host’s comments about Donovan McNabb y y & ‘‘I salary by doing other odd jobs:'yi“yyy'-v‘f-' liberal is someone who was a In Alan’s new autobiography 'Back to You : y thought true side and open to all ideas” he other the to open Sean: The Alan Colmes Story’ we learn that ' ' X'sady f Washington Generals the hapless basketball team hired to lose to die Harlem Globetrotters - - best-selli- ng Thur-mond- ' ’s - ami '' rre-V':'-X- THE TEACHER IS MANPIN6 BACK OUR TEST PAPERS jHTOPAY - rI CAN HARPlY UJAIT TO SEE UUAT SHE V THOUGHT OF MINE jJ for editors working on misleading video packages” Franken writes' TT fnintrc ran an ieimtiiacii anti 1 :sx Shoishohe Trail ' A vi Koeis novel by Devid J MewRes 'i s' j h' s Jr '4 i ' ' ’t ¥ v"- M' : i'’ v? MOTHER GOOSE AND GRIMM ut several nights ago his spirit' a snowy owl had come to him in a helper dream and told him that if he and his party harmed no one that didn’t attack them first the be returned would girls safely “Perhaps we should just ride on” the leader said to his companions after telling them of his dream “I too have had a dream” said another of the This one’s name was This Dakota was not really a warrior but a dreamer or holy man “I too have had a dream” he said again “I have dreamed much of this woman fm many nights now She is a sacred woman and if we all give a gift to her my dream tells me that she will tell us where to find the stolen ones If we do this she will give us good luck on our quest” Then pulling his robe up over his shoulder he said quietly “That is all I have to say” “Well” said the youngest warrior “I do not hear any of you I am not afraid of this sacred woman I will count coup and take her hair” At this he started his pony forward only to run into the tip of his leader’s lance “If you do not hear the words of your leader or of a dreamer of your people then maybe I will open your ears with this” the leader said with a shake of his lance Paling the youngest backed his horse away and saying nothing bowed his head “Have you heard me Grass?” the leader said warriors FOX TROT REAL LIFE ADVENTURES CLOSE TO HOME ? Looks-at-the-S-ky ' - - v down" ' “Good Let us go down and visit with this sacred woman” the leader said swinging his pony around He was now satisfied that he had regained total control over his small party At an early g age he had learned that on a war or as such this in enemy territory party deep thane had to be one strong and at least somewhat wise leader in control or disaster would strike and swiftly On his first war party two of the older warriors fell to quarreling over how to attack a small party of Pawnee While the two were shouting at each other a large group of Pawnee warriors had crept up and attacked the Dakota In the battle that followed all but the young warrior and one of his friends had been killed Thus a lesson was learned In the following years the warrior had built up a reputation for being a ruthless and fearless but nevertheless wise fighter His name was n by all Dakota as well as by already many of his enemies both Indian and white His name was Gall horse-stealin- - - - well-know- Sarah and Samuel had been walking for three days since leaving the destroyed wagon train See tomorrow’s of this story Herald Journal for the next instalment Win of bridge By Phillip Alder All bridge writers make errors — although since the appearance of Bill Bailey's Deep Finesse program the number of mistakes has dropped dramatically And many writers have got columns from these inaccuracies Now comes a book full of them: “Spot the Bridge Writer’s Blunder!” by Danny Roth d On 73 pages you right-han- Necessity Is the husband of Invention At the Annual Convention for People Who Speak Uke Christopher Walken are faced with a declarer-pla- y or defense problem The deals range from intermediate to advanced In this one you are South the declarer in two hearts After West leads the spade 10 what would be your plan? - y harshly “Yes I hear you” Grass replied still looking South should overcall two hearts not double However if he had West would not have known that East preferred diamonds to spades South won the first trick with the spade ace and played three rounds of hearts However East won with his queen and led the diamond jack West overtook with the queen gave East a spade ruff got back in with another diamond and served up a second ruff A later club loser meant one down The author praises West for his opening lead but Roth adds that the analysis should also point out that the declarer erred South playing East for the heart queen should win the first trick in the dummy and take the heart finesse Then East gets only one spade ruff and the contract makes CNEA2003 North A 7 5 4 V 9 I a S 8 S A K K A J J q West A 3 V AKQ 10 5 4 6 4 East ABBS V J 7 10 3 Q 9 6 10 8 7 9 3 South A A K ¥ Q J 10 9 S 3 A 7 S 4 A Dealer South Vulnerable: East-Wes- t South West A Pass 1A 4 IV North 3 A Put Opening lead: ¥ East Pass Pass A |