Show ' C4 — The Herald JoumalLogan m TMWRMtfflS RemPttoNam ? ‘Ten fXMNAHnOflCf TRACT mrummau(t sooMamr nwatnarf : Utah Thursday April 8 2004 ''"W SHERMANS LAGOON wtmftcMmmm MHOWHCRt Wt CQ0L9 poniKfgxpumm UMRmamn cauxwm V’M t- r Yards’unpleasant By Christy Lamb AP Entertainment iNPgreRMnmwre cmriNSA it ''i: i I c v It’s only three feet from “The Whole Nine Yards” to “The Whole Ten Yards" but the jokes get stretched so thin it feels more like a mite' ’ The 2000 original wasn’t exactly begging for a sequel — it seemed to wrap itself up in a rather tidy fashion — but it was surprisingly ' fUm-no-ir y funny in a way f i low-ke- CATHY nfier XU Movie review m married NEVER THE RECEIPT 'MONSTER? AMlti (cm (VWET0 WCE THE MONSTER OF TO the 8umn season along ! j ra race tot one nlwc! mo? 1 amass' smnstcrt) Bruce Willis as retired hit man Jimmy “The Tulip”Tudeski was supremely cool and confi- dent Matthew Perry as dentist Nicholas “Oz” Oseransky his nervous next-doneighbor allowed the laughs to flow from his deadpan delivery And Amanda Feet as Oz’s dental hygienist Jill was disarming in her perky obsession with becoming an assassin All that has been scrapped here in favor of broad slapstick and loud shrill repetitiveness Howard Deulch — who seems to specialize in sequels following “Grumpier Old Men” and “The Odd Couple II” — directed a script by George Gallo whose previous buddy come- dies include “Midnight Run" and “Bad ' AP Photo or fOOPS NO! ITA FACE THAT ONE ALONG f wMbmvnw monsterT) hmwno! ru face that one awe? the i W b BEETLE BAILEY Natasha Henstridge Matthew Perry and Bruce WIBs in the comedy The Whole Ten YRrds” (L-- r) Jimmy Oz and Jill weren't already frantically bouncing off each other Jimmy has turned into a crazed homemaker lobster creation (“I thought I married a contract killer not Martha Stewart" Jill whines in a joke that’s even more groanworthy than it would have been a month ago) ' Oz is more skittish than ever having equipped his house with an elaborate security system and stocked it with an arsenal of weapons Perry bumped into and knocked over a couple of things in the original movie but repeatedly injures himself here — and it’s not even funny the first time And Jill the fledgling hit woman wants des- perately tq kill someone so she’s constantly pointing a gun ami firing at something — usu- ally the wrong thing Perhaps the most overbearing scene of all is the one in which Jimmy and Oz get drunk in 's the middle of the day at motel bar and ue screaming at each other until Jimmy ' lapses in a heap of grunts and sobs as he laments his unfulfilled desire to be a good father This coincidentally is one of Willis’ favorite scenes in the movie according to the press notes We can only shudder to imagine what his least favorite scene was “The Whole Ten Yards” is rated PG-1- 3 for sexual content some violence and language Running time: 97 minutes One star out of four - Boys” But it’s hard to tell whether Willis and Perry have the kind of chemistry that the acton did in those earlier films “The Whole Ten Yards” was shot and edited so erratically it seems as if it was slapped together — something the title alone suggests When the movie begins Jimmy is hiding at the beach in Mexico with Jill who’s now his wife after having faked his death with the help of Oz and some false Hwual records Oz meanwhile is living luxuriously in Los Angeles with Jimmy’s Cynthia (Natasha Henstridge) who was a femme fatale in the first movie and is now a wife and giddily expectant mother ' They’re thrown together again when former employer Hungarian mob Lazio Gogolak is released from prison and sends his thugs to kidnap Cynthia Kevin Poliak who simmered in the original film as mobster Yanni Gogolak completely boils over as Yanni’s father Lazio The usually likable character actor is covered in prosthetics that make him look like an elderly Liberace and every “v” is a “w” in his cartoon ish East- v cm European accent This might not have seemed so obnoxious if ex-wi- fe HAGAR THE HORRIBLE Mta&ABB contin-Jimmy- col-bo- ss - Album reviews PEANUTS IN THE UiORLP 15 L0NEU EVERYONE PREP-JU- 60 ST MCE TASTE TO SLEEP 600P R16HT Press By The Associated I A6REEA HOT RP6E5UNME UJOULP TRY TO THINK OF S0METUIN6 the finger it’s a David Bauder AP Writer double-barrel- Selectedaudio revieyvs: Bloodie “The Curse of Blondie" Good news first: Deborah Harry the goldenmaned singer that many wrongly assumed was Blondie has lost little with the years It’s fen listening to her drift between a sexy throaty innocence' Madonna growl and littte-gj- rl should age as well Her band in a continued comeback retains the musical adventurousness it had at its peak opening this disc with a rap then a dance floor workout that recalls “Heart of Glass” That’s about it though The curse of Blondie it seems is die same one that afflicts what was once effortmany reformed buds less sounds labored clunkiness has replaced grace Attempts to update their sound with a tougher guitar attack only makes Blondie sound generic And while Harry may sound good most of what she sings is complete cmd The chbpis to “Shakedown” appears to be about hiding drugs in a body cavity Ugh“The Tingler” opens with this laughable couplet: “Fate points NOU) MOTHER GOOSE AND GRIMM 5iiiwa Yo-Y- o ringer’ ed - Ms “Vivaldi’s Cello’? (Sony) Ma has gone Baroque After albums that took him to the musical destinations of Brazil the Silk Road and China everybody’s favorite cellist lias returned home to the tradi- tional repertoire His new album oh Sony “Vivaldi’s Cello” ' features' a range of works by the Italian Baroque composer including a transcription of die “Winter” Largo movement from “The Four Seasons” originally written for violin and the concerto for two cellos' Ma and the other musicians play the fast movements with the joyfelness of an 18th century city dweller arriving at a lush country estate for a summer vacation! In the slow movements Ma opens up his soul as he plays oh his 1712 “Davidoff” Stradivarius For Koopman who conducts from the harpsichord and organ keyboards the album is a reunion with MaThey collaborated on two “Simply Baroque” CDs! ' Welcome home ! Martin Steinberg AP Writer Yo-Y- o v Yo-Yo- Ndmos In tho news FOXTROT WS its a sheet of mutary- - I Do' SCISSORS SEATS- PAPER! 7 X— s HS- iWt PAPER - 6RAK NUTARV-CRAD- HARDENED STEEL C HARDENED STEEL' IEATS SCISSORS ' EVERtTIME Adkiris to V ' hawk KFC MEANWHXC PAlflC SEATS ZASoN- - “I had a woman conie up to me at one of my shows recently and say ’You know I’ve had this uncontrollable urge to eat more chicken lately Do you know why that is?”’ Adkins said Tuesday in an interview with The Associated - OK OK 61 VE TOO IU NASHVIE ANOTHER CHANCE — Country Tenn (AP) REAL LIFE ADVENTURES CLOSE TQ HOME campaign last month V ' Win er ' - 'i " He’ll soon be appearing in from of the camera for KFC as well as behind it He’s set to film a commercial in Charlotte NC- - next week with NASCAR driver Dale Earn-- : ' V V a! bridge By Phillip Alder ON EA 2004 South cannot he sure about ) die fate of his low diamond North v 4 A Q 10 The opponents’ trumps are ! 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Here' kniowi because South thoui king tnimp to dummy (entry West North Eut South ' — 1 ¥ of 10 or 11 combined trumps Pw One)heartruffhiispadeto ' : Pus M A 1 r Pus - he does not need to v: niff beat dummy high trump worry 4 NT - "Pass "'S ¥ Pass ' about the spade queen jiven if jo dummy (entry three) Now 74 Pass Pass Pus ! ! ber cash the majesty is missing she the diamond seven Q j can be expected to drop: Opening lead: ' : r : ! "! ’ J " : j7 : st - -- :V "Ya gotta i ' hand It to him Nobody Iovm tMa game more than Pete Y-1 j : r ! : Press! ed ribbing from fans since he became the voice for : him a natural for voice-ovwork! His narration is heard in TV specials for HGTV The Food Network and Country Music Television He’s also been a guest on the animated Fox series “King of the Hill" and is starting withReba ' McEntire in Disney’s ‘‘Fox and the Hound IL Friends Forever "scheduled for release in ' 2006 : singer Trace Adkins has gotten some good-natur- hardtJr The singer’s baritone makes |