Show Leave me out of this us all the UPC Either give of the beast tattooed to our foreheads in ultraviolet light sensitive ink or leave us alone I don’t think that I’m the only one tired of being part of someone’s data stream We give you money you give us stuff and a receipt That's the end of the relationship Have a nice life please do forget to write and absolutely do not call because you know I have lots of these relationships and I don’t want you all finding out about each other It only leads to jealousy and possessiveness I don’t want to have to carry around a key chain full of lijtle UPC thingies or have to give out my address or zip code when I shop at Gorp Brothers Sporting Goods or Radio Snack And just because I bought a Toy Yoda truck doesn’t mean I have to e fill out an consumer satisfaction survey Again I gave you money and you gave me the product — I’m sorry but I)jn not obliged to leave a note on the pillow or send you flowers the next day I will always fondly cherish the time we spent together but we are not in love I never meant to lead you on there have always eight-pag- - Kids’ fun conjunction with the Utah State Rodeo club’s annual “USU Stampede” Parents are invited to bring children ages 3 to 12 to the five-pou- nd Logan-Cach- Customer code Just let me buy my products in peace I may run for political officie or trek to Lhasa to visit tire Lama some day and I don’t want to be haunted by a record of what I bought floating around there in cyberspace I also don’t want to have to go before a special Senate committee to try to explain what I was doing with all the Saran Wrap and baby oil back in 1996 Of course the Internet is only the half of it I can delete faster than the junk stock market can lose money' but all this data ends up going to junk paper mail and tele- marketers Even in a politically correct climate these two have become the national object of ridicule It’s not completely their fault They are just the bottom dwelling trash fish fed by the aforementioned data stream ' Of course any time you accuse them of being bottom ail We gin yon nancy yoa glass stall and a receipt mats the end oithe relationship Have a nice life” dwelling life suckers they always come back with some anecdote about the little old shut-i- n lady who needs and in fact looks forward to tele-marketing and junk mail Well find I hereby chal- lenge die telemarketing industry to compile a list of these poor souls — they’re great with lists — and I will personally start a volunteer group that will deliver hair growth formulas bow flex machines sexual aids service changes and can’t-milong-distan- ce ss investment opportunities directly to the doors of these maligned consumers If I do this you leave us alone?- - e the newspaper Feedback at 2 I I dhinkampOmsncom - &ilj'jflioit Schcoatie£n&StA galley Chango Khqnaa ChenseirfiMo r3reek Folk Sipier Fingers WFanb&ii lillside 9 Hotfoo puartet Jj W n ihars Dance Image Lux 'JLs Musics Reservata ofjuta Sun House liealrs Symphony Orchestra Jeremy ThrelfaUAUmcomThefre USU ’ 1 “ Daniel Wattsf Valley D $lso: far all agA Historic theatre district tour Art demonstrations Area aits information AH & a Fairgrounds ‘ Dennis Hinkarnp is a freelance humor columnist living in Logan He is among a number of free-lance writers whose columns appear in The Herald Journal as part of an effort to expose readers to a variety of community voices He is not an employee of sE beginning at 10:30 am for a variety of games events and rodeo education Children ages 3 to 6 are admitted free children ages 6 to 12 can enter with rodeo admission Events include stickhorse barrel racing and dummy calf roping and there will be drawings for free prizes Cowboy dress-u- p clothing will be pro- vided so parents can take pho- 2 D tos of their children Parents must bring their own camera The Great American Rodeo Queens and Utah State team riders will be on hand for O autographs pictures and to answer questions St The USU Stampede runs Sept 27 at 7 pm Sept 28 at 1 pm and Sept 28 at 7 pm Advance tickets are $4 and $3 for students All tickets are $5 at the gate Family tickets are available for $18 in advance and $20 at the gate Tickets can be purchased at ‘ Progressive Wireless For more information call Cathy or Jeff Hall at Live Entertainment by: Hands-or&r&iciivjt- CM CM Kevin Allred Fayjqd Dale Belittp Bridgeriaqd Brass Cactt£ Jpantide Choir in 8 special kids’ day will be o A held Saturday Sept 28 in been others in my life A “dear John” note to Albertasons and Symth’S:" Please just give me the 20 cents off on the bag of organic roasted garlic cheese puffs without making me scan in my V CM ief Events Saturday September 28MlkjJienK - lriiwitmwi(StreHrvl)Mfn4) ‘fa - |