Show better than mere acting when amelia bingham was playing the frisky mrs johnson lloyd bingham her husband asked an old negro who had seen it what he thought of her acting I 1 dont know euthin about sah he answered I 1 ain t no bedge of that but miss amelia she switch her train sens tive soul there are two singing in this room and it s making me nerv ous to the point of insanity I 1 wo ilan t let the hum ot two little insects affect me that way but man they re not singing in harmony mother reproachfully fishy to her small son jamie where have ou been all afternoon 7 jamie uneasily at sunday school mamma mother then how Is it you are wet and smell so of fishe jamie in desperation well you see ive been studying about jonah and the whale and well I 1 guess it came off on my clothes harpers weekly not loaded maybelle clarence and jack meled about me y esteile how what did they doa maybelle oh it was awful I 1 came into the room and they were waving pistols at each other estelle pistols mercy were they maybelle not a bit they were as sober as could be good society on the farm mrs waldo of boston I 1 have a letter from your uncle james pene lope who wants me to spend the sum mer on his farm penelope dubiously Is there any society in the neighborhood mrs waldo I 1 ve heard him sneah of the holsteins and I 1 pre sume they are pleasant people bos ton christian register on the farm new arrival what a gentle peace ful creature that cow Is just look into her eyes old guest I 1 did that when I 1 first alved but I 1 discovered that in or der to get a correct line on a cow s character you husn t judge her by her eyes you must judge her by her hind legs detroit free press A bad example that young king altonso is mak ing it very very unpleasant tor the rest of us who are not kings how soa he tipped the poor of paris 6 the other day and now when I 1 give my waiter a hard earned silver ter I 1 expect hell return me a look that will freeze my blood disappearing rap adly do iou remember how belle loved the poet she used to crave a lock of his hair indeed and I 1 suppose she can get a lock now that they are married 9 oh no she isn t satisfied with a lock now she takes U by the hand tul he M have changed things he locks bolts and bars are un known in iceland every house is open to wayfarers and nothing is ever stolen she of course it is not necessary to ask if you were ever there except onal facil t es you dont subscribe to the news paper asked the visiting neighbor no answered the hostess know more than the newspaper can tell my husband Is a census taker speed not necessary my bow fast you re running ex claimed the dressmaker s lapboard to the sewing machine of course replied the sewing ma chine without a moment s pause I 1 ve got to make a train wedded suddenly gunner I 1 don t see rounder about town of late Is he still enjoying what made milwaukee guyer no the old sport is enjoying what made st joseph famous it wiggled pop yes my son when an animal shakes its tall aint it glad to see you yes my boy well pop I 1 saw a man catch an eel to day and I 1 never saw anat ling ho glad to see a man in any life that eel was glad hes changed she and are you really so much better since you returned from your trip he yes indeed I 1 m quite another man I 1 assure you she well I 1 m sure all your friends will be delighted to hear it NOT VERY flattering captain how would you like a sailor for a husband fair passenger very much md eed if he were like you captain Is very nice of you to say that but why so fair passenger because you be home much it depends de peyster they have been con on art topics are you fond of majolica mrs Par venue mrs Par venue who has made sev eral bad mistakes since her entrance into society and Is on her guard well er that depends entirely on how it Is cooked after service mrs brown my husband go to church but be often contributes for the conversion of the heathens mrs ones I 1 suppose so A great many of the domestic heathens do that threw him over gertrude what are you giving hortense tor a wedding present babette why cr im giving her the groom detroit free press no use to worry auther cr de sun comin so dey say en dey look fer cle end er ie worl soon t wonder well how is you fixed fer de here after i fr en said brother williams ef all ley says come tr ie it looks like de hereafter has saved me de trouble er fixin atlanta Cons titu alon opportunity how do you regard the latest in politics it doean doesn t cause me any uneasy nebs answered senator sorghum A political movement Is like a train 0 cars it ou stand in the middle of the track and try to stop it it will do damage but it is all right tor the man who will wait for it to come alongside so that he can get aboard yonkers statesman cook wanted the people I 1 lived wid before maam said the new cook auz very plain wel asked her new employer are we not plain herec als maam but in a different way th others auz plain in their way allvin not in their looks ma am woman way nordy since we moved my wife Is worried nearly eick t she like the new housea nordy oh yes she likes it am densely but she feel sure the tenants must have had some horrible reason tor moving out logic mistress mary ann you have a new beau in the kitchen every week now this must stop maid well mum it ye d buy a better av food I 1 could keep em longer than a week an t have to be gittin new onea all th time explained beery ball als paper aez weary wicks our ol 01 friend Is in de A tolls ol 01 de law say bhul does dat spiel mean dally slumbers de tolls de law why ye ajit dat means dat weary s been put t breakie stones 1 no wonder the matter dear said the 1 l physician s wife tou seem worried to night I 1 am worried replied the M D old whom I 1 have been treat ing tor nearly three years Is getting well in spite of all I 1 can do measure of his success a but he s the author of a successful novel I 1 understand not exactly lies the successful author of a novel well that s the same thing oh no he has succeeded in writ ing a novel that s all WHY HE LOST THE SALE customer the lowest you 11 take tor that parrot dealer twenty five dollars parrot don t pay it he offered to sell me yesterday for 10 more than he could stand I 1 wouldn t get so sore just because u fellow called me an ass neither would I 1 II 11 all he called but he called me a pig headed ass and I 1 want it understood that I 1 m no sideshow freak point of view yes said the fluffy haired blonde fred Is all the world to me huh rejoined the stately bru nette contemptuously your knowl edge of geography Is indeed limited rivalry I 1 see that the High fliers took the trip on the new sixteen hour train to chicago george it you don t arrange things so that we can go on a fifteen hour train you 11 break heart sparing his feelings alice he thinks he made any impression at all clara oh yes be has but im too considerate to let him know what kind of an impression it Is cause of delay friend haven t you named the baby yeta proud mother no we must be very careful to give him a nice one because there will be many named after him when he Is president the sympathetic man you were so kind and sympathetic the last time I 1 told you my troubles I 1 want to thank you tor that androw I 1 ve got another goodley oh pray don t mention it easi aund how do you jersey people find the mosquitoes this ached the new yorker oh we don t have to find ern 1 the jersey man they find us yonkers statesman will ng to contribute rev mr capley I 1 m collecting tor our drunkard s home madam mrs hardtack oh are iva well call around about and you can have mv Bill Modern society T i |