Show Emotional anxieties: For sale cheap used to be so bitter Out I House O’ Pain Emotional made: Sylvia Plath look like Recycling Center People have school cheerleader been recycling and That was before I learned to coaches for years live organically and compost so why not let this system work for you Your cast off is my emotions Now I'm as another person’s treasure happy as H&R Block in April You’d be surprised how many It's simple it’s green it’s environmentally friendly I people are interested in pickjust put all he emotional table ing up your old anxieties and and verbal cat litter box bad habits at below wholesale I encounter each day into a bin and let diem rot as I So bring ’em on down to sit smug and the House O’ Pain where no no offer is too weird Our motto longer reliant on the commubooks is “You got it we want it” nity landfill of “We heed your needs” and talk show guests The social pressure of Irritable Nempdc life is more than enough to ' pets? Irrational fears? Funny compress this Freudian flotfeeling in the bottom of my sam into usable humus that I stomach? — all cleaned and later distribute to others in refurbished by qualified social need of a little anguish in their workers and resold at a fraclives tion of their original cost Yes die key to die Zen of Recycling your problems is the bliss of a napping dog not only good for the environcomes when you become one ment but it breaks that waste-fi- ll with the environment Clean cycle of handing down ' world the own and up your your problems from generation to generation Just think pathetic state of mental health at die same time Yes it’s true no more whining bitter adult children calling home saying You can conserve energy “You know why I chew my and a recycle compost put stop to land filling in your finger nails and can’t lose very own lifetime weight now don’t you? It’s Pack up alt your cares and because you passed along all woes and haul them on down your anxieties to me” Now you can reply ‘‘Sony to die Slightly Off Centef L- - $10 no $5 No really I still may need that I’m sorryi Maybe you should try another garage sale I just can’t com- mit you know?” So shuffle on down to Slightly Off Center’s House O’ Pain Emotional Recycling Center “Serving your psychotic needs for nearly a 50th of a century" Free bitter dregs coffee tothe first 100 customers Void whore prohibited Some restrictions may apply mmMUW I e I pro-spor- m i :f 7 "v' WVv Vi ' VikjA4i ts j ‘ ) I fresh-roast- self-assur- ed self-he- lp day-to-da- y1 s? I (Uini Li antateKStctilaiiictiBgwmr j tml ted taNts at below child-raisi- ng around-the-wor- id hang-ups- DATE FLAT TIRE - March 14 store) Avoid the embarrassment of an emotional garage sale with all sorts of strangers picking through your prized personal problems like hungry seagulls Avoid answering tough questions such as: “How much for this old aversion to commit- ment?” “Let’s see $10 no $5 no ' March 30 ON SALE EVENT PRESENTED BY Mg River: The Musical Adventures of Hucklebeny Capitol Arts Alliance ' NOW Cheryl Wheeler Bridget Fold Music Society & Capitol Arts Alliance NOW Miss Cache Vklley Miss Cache Valley 32202 Scholarship Program Scholarship Program Cherish the Ladies - :J ' Capitol Arts Alliance NOW k ' ' '' x ‘ May 9 Stuart Little Capitol Arts Alliance NOW On or :Off The Vehicle ht Trucks Most Passenger Cars & :OfferQ6od(m Tuesday orTburad ' Providence Logan 1108 886 North Main 753-241- 2 I4NIKM0IIVI : 787-184- Hwy 165 VttHk) 4 : CN CN o 2 o su 0' uo s s' April 12 CN Do you have an upcoming arts or entertainment event you would like listed in our calendars? ' Let us know' Contact Cache Magazine Editor Jeremy Pugh at (435) 1 exL 3029 All calendar items are run on a space-availabbasis Specifically ‘Ongoing items that run for longer than one month will be cut periodically to make space for more current events Priority is given to local events of an entertaining or artistic nature We reserve the right to edit aU submissions for size content and style Submissions can also be sent to The Herald Journal Attn Happenings PO Box 487 Logan Utah 84323-048- 7 to dr Finn March 21 o 3o le Attorney General John Ashcroft or Utah Porn Czar Paula Houston will be admitted to this section of the O Calendar entries 752-212- ibIioIbssIb costs” you must have die wrong number you whining bitter brat because I took all my guilt down to the Slightly Off Center House O’ Pain!” We also will buy sell or trade emotional baggage all sizes and shapes for your overnight or cruise needs ? We’ve Sexual got a walk-i- n closet load (Warning: No one under die age of 21 or affiliated with ed CN 5 0 X 0) 6 o 0 CD O |