Show VL r i'ir"yfyirywr ’ - Crossword 13' Classified 15 The Herald Journal Logan Utah Monday April 23 2001 Bad golf day? Find an excuse By Kelly Davis Q LI pringtimc! ' Put away the bulky sweaters and look for your shorts If you are a golfer that ' means “Look for your ugly green and orange plaid shorts” (heh) Yesterday afternoon there were tons of butterflies around my car' What a magical moment! I am sure the pedantic people out there will say it was due to some kind of sea- sonal migration I however have decided that it was the Universe telling me to be optimistic Therefore I am going to start out the spring by being optimistic about a lot of things one of them being golf That should not be too hard I see my husband and other people do it The key to optimism is having a nice bunch of excuses handy Here are a few of the best golf excuses: 1 Blame the ball: The other day my husband made a huge production of hitting a drive He positioned his socks he messed with his hat he got his feet planted just so then replanted them again (I had to stifle a giggle because it looked like some kind of funny bird dance) Finally he aimed carefully swung and hit a drive that fell quite short of where it should have gone I cringed and waited for the baby-f- it to come But he didn't get upset He just shook his head and said “I knew that ball had lost its compression” Other variations on this theme Having both legs amputated below the knee has not stopped Kyle Stephens from volunteering to help others Eli LuceroHerald Journal VISTA volunteer Kyle Stephens recently appeared on the Jenny Jones Show to tell his story of overcoming trauma include: “Mud on my ball changed its center of gravity' and “A fly landed on my ball just as I began my down- swing” 2 Blame the clubs: Every golfer uses this one I cer-tainly do After your ball goes zinging to the left for no apparent reason you simply say “I must have used the wrong club” The “wrong club” is a handy excuse As far as I can tell there are about 10 clubs in a golf bag You don’t need them all In fact I only use three of them The rest are just there for looks So it is easy to pull out the wrong club because there are so many wrong clubs Also the 6 and the 9 look just alike to me and I am always getting them mixed up 3 Blame the environment: Mother Nature hates golfers She would rather those big green golf courses be full of flowers and rab- bits Therefore she delights in send- ipg your ball zinging to the left for no apparent reason with a little gust of wind only directed at you' Golfers love to blame nature for their bad shots “Damn rain Nobody can golf in : rain like this” “ Have you noticed how flat the air is today? Man the balls just don’t cany right in this flat air” 4 Blame the other golfers: ‘The people in front are golfing like molasses and it’s affecting my rhythm!” “I can’t relax because of tho&e impatient jerks behind us Take a chill pill buddy!” ' ‘Those women over on that fair-way are yakking so loudly that I can’t concentrate” 6 Blame what you did in the last 24 hours: Everything you have done in the last 24 hours can affect your golf game it is a rule “I must be hung over” ‘Tab much caffeine makes my ' ' hands shake when I putt” “I’m still thinking about that fight I had with my girlfriend” When all else fails and the excus- es are used up you really only have one left I used this one with great - Success for twa years: “I’ just out here to relax: I don’t carewhat Ishoot” v This year however I think I will vary it The butterflies want me to be optimistic and enjoy life What ' does a golf score really mean in die big picture?" Meeting Kyle Stephens for the first time will probably make your jaw drop' Even though he has lost both legs below the knee lie often doesn’t use a wheel chair Instead he lifts his slim frame up from his office chair balances for a and walks over to shake hands: Could this be the person you were supposed to meet a double amputee? Oh yeah — he’s exactly the person you want to meet “I think a lot of it is just determination” he says His focus on getting on with life is a good match for die work he does Stephens works as a VISTA volunteer for Common Ground Outdoor Adventures a nonprofit organization that enables people with disabilities to enjoy outdoor recreation As their outreach coordinator he centos his attention on - 1 : -- fund-raisin- ed To get 4 are g' ' ' City He agrees that he was given a second chance at life — and that’s no exaggeration It’s the literal ' truth “I had lost a lot of blood I actually did die on Life Flight They cracked four ribs on the left side to get me back I was legally dead for they said about 25 seconds “So many people helped me I’d like to thank them some day” Stephens says that the work he does now is another way of showing his appreciation for his v second life “To be able to do this helping other people be able to do this helping with disabilities is my way of say ing thanks to the other people with disabilities is people that helped get me to where I am today my way of saying thanks to the whether I know who they are or not It’s just my to me that way of saying thank you” helped people Because of the way he has handled life with a I I where am today whether know ' disability he was given the opportunity to share who they or not” his comeback on nationwide television A family member called “The Jenny Jones Show” after they planned a show about people who —Kyle Stephens hearing had recovered from trauma A staff member phoned to ask him to appear and tell his story FOX network aired the show two weeks ago on ‘Course I tried to bail out When I went to jump ' to the left ‘cause it was rolling to the right the April 10 -— armrest caught me in the waist and flipped me 'They called me back' I thought it was a it into It took both my legs from (the knee) joke” But jt was for real It was a down”' cared for him during the trauma experience” he says His delight in the luxurious is contagious: The “A couple of people I work with —- one held perks of a TV fare for I show and to wanted back hands because Chicago hotel food and my plane paid get up more run It happened that quick but in my'mind it was all slow motion “They had a big white stretch limousine come “Then they put tourniquets above my knees and fra me And they addressed me by my last name ‘ ' held me down because I wanted to get up and holding the door open And I just — You can Call me Kyle’ — you know And the limousine driver take off Actually saved my life right there to is ‘No it’s Mr Stephens Welcome to Chicago’ slow the bleeding down” A LifeFlight helicopter arrived in quick time on Page 20 and transported him the 100 miles to Salt Lake work-relat- half-seco-nd - - “Basically I was laying around worrying” he recalls But that’s getting ahead of the stray acciStephens lost his legs in a dent While building a road in a remote part of central Utah the pneumatic roller he was driving rolled over on him He remembers the slow- motion horror of it “I caught the corner of the road in reverse and the side of the cliff gave way with me on it ' By Pat Bohm Trestle features writer The bus that Common Ground uses to transport people and equipment for their outdoor expeditions is “tired” says Stephens About to drop dead might be closer to the truth The last time a group went canoeing on Benson : Marina die exhaust pipe fell off the bus on the way back He’s also trying to raise money for additional adaptive equipment Along with helping Common Ground' Stephens’ work there also benefits himself Before he started his responsibilities with Com- mon Ground Stephens remembers “Every day was like ‘Groundhog Day” a movie in which the hero repeats one day in his life over and over “Didn’t I just do this yesterday at the same time?” he’d say to himself Stephens realized he had to to keep himself “men- tally : “once-in-a-lifeti- Co-work- i star-for-a-d-ay ' - ' : Avista - p Davis is atechnical writer Iv- KedyC Jng In 8mithfieid She can toe reached by email at kady198BOyahoocomr By Dwight Barnett Scrtpps Howard News Service Q: I have used Terra ant killer to fight ants in my home but they always came back until I used anoth-e- r treatment mentioned in my local s newspaper 'It Suggested wiping countertops and other surfaces with white vinegar This treatment was more effective for me than Terra I wiped my surfaces twice a day and in two to three days — no ants I hope this hint will help you — MS Battle Creek Neb! A: Ants leave a scent trail between die food source and the nest Usin£ vinegar or bay leaves or any aromat- ic hath will destroy the scent trail and the ants will not be able to locate the food source for a while Howev-e- r you can rest assured that they will return Terra uses boric acid as part of the mixture thatattracts ants to the bait which is then carried back to the whole colony eliminating it Dead ants will not return but you can bet another nearby colony will find its way to your kitchen Sometimes you have to apply the ant killer more than qnce for it to be effective about its business hidden in the walls and floors Termites live and work inside shelter tubes that resemble small mud tunnels In the spring and fell some form wings and swarm out of their tunnels to start new colonies Although you may not see them you may find their discarded wings near window and door openings Homeowners cannot perform termite treatments effectively If 'you place chemicals around the home where you see the shelter tubes you lqll rally tiie termites you see There will be millions of termites left in tiie Another insect that invades our main colony beneath the area you hemes in the spring is the termite a treated wood destroyer that normally goes Only a professional licensed exter minator has the expertise and the' chemi- availability of state-approv- ed cals to guard your properly against attack Even after a professional treatment the home needs to be inspected once la year to make sure the treatment was effective breach in the chemical barrier and the termite can find a way info your home Plan on follow-u- p treatments as an integral part of any prevention program y-An- Dwight Barnett Is a master inspector certified by the American Society of Home Inspectors Questions may be addressed to him at PO Box 14091 Evansville IN dbamettOavahsvilenet 47728 or C Features: Tuesday Health: On nutrition i M — ! 752-21- 21 |