Show C4 — The Herald Journal Logan Utah Friday March 14 2003 SHERMANS LAGOON lame itoirosS By Ben Nuckols Associated Press Writer CATHY OLD MEWS? 6ETALIFE?) parody-homag- f WIN IS IT ONLY ROMANTIC IF ITS ABOUT SOMEONE SOU DONT The James Bond formula has always been juvenile so there aren't any points to be won for tossing it indifferently into a teen milieu “Agent Cody Banks" feels particularly lame after “Austin Powers" “Spy Kids" and their numerous unnecessary sequels Among die recent Bond only the execrable “XXX” ranks lower It’s hard to imagine that boys of say 8 and up wouldn’t enjoy one of the old Sean Connery KNOW?? 52 es V Movie review ( Bond films more than this movie which heaves into die spindly arms of Frankie Muniz (of “Malcolm in the Middle") the requisite gadgets and babes “Cody” director Harald Zwart and his team of screenwriters have obviously studied the Bond formula but in their hands it’s dead weight It’s as if they made the movie with checklist in hand: The opening action sequence that has nothing to do with the plot The villain bent on the idea of using an unknown technology to destroy the world His henchman distinguished by scars BEETLE BAILEY I I i AP Photo Franlde Muniz stare Pictures I f t I world-dominati- in MGM "Agent Cody Banks" on spy-thrill- ss PEANUTS as Agent Cody Banks re van) has been suckered into facilitating the scheme of Brinkman (Ian McShane) and his henchman Molay (Arnold Vosloo) If Cody gets close to her he can get close to the bad guys you know the drill The delightful “Spy Kids” casts a long shadow over this movie because not only did the kids have great reserves of charm you could feel the joy with which Robert Rodriguez celeconventions brated and subverted Plus through Rodriguez’s skillful editing and seamlessly integrated special effects he managed to make a movie that was exciting and tension-fille- d but not violent No such luck fra the abrasive technically inept “Agent Cody Banks” which treats us to tire unpleasant spectacle of cute Natalie killing a man with flesh-eatin- g microscopic robots Another lowlight is a driving lesson taught to Cody and Natalie by Mr Yip (Chang Tseng) a spittle-spewiEnglish language-butcherin- g Asian stereotype He yells at Natalie fra her ' bad driving so Cody gets revenge by executing a few CIA-taugdriving maneuvers that cause Mr Yip to vomit Not that “Agent Cody Banks” invites much consideration of larger themes or trends but Cody does seem to represent a shift in tire way movie heroes are pitched to kids They used to be larger than life now they’re just like you While it may be good fra everybody's turning heroes into nerds also kids the deny escapism that movies may have always provided With fantasy like this who needs reality? physique and bad hair The faceoff between the hero and the henchman at the roulette table The dueling hotties one icy female spy and one perky damsel-in-distreTire action sequences inside the villain’s secret lairs one underground and one mountainside The ending in which our hero turns off his spy communicator to kiss the girl Far from a suave spy Muniz makes everything seem stressful He can be a grating presence on “Malcolm” too but it’s not up to him to carry that show’s talented ensemble Here he's front and center fra nearly two hours creating chemistry-fre- e zones with romantic interest Hilary Duff and Angie Harmon as his CIA handler The gag is that Cody who was recruited by the CIA as part of a pilot program to train young agents gets the one assignment he can’t handle: winning a girl While he’s been trained with fighting and driving skills that should make him tire coolest kid in school he remains painfully inarticulate in front of the opposite sex His target is Natalie Connors (Duff star of the Disney Channel’s “Lizzie McGuire” X whose benevolent scientist dad (Martin Dono- - i action-adventu- er ng ht self-estee- m n Sons of Bear Lake '! A novel by Douglas D Alder MOTHER GOOSE AND GRIMM “A - dinner Hank had gone up to the combine to grease his machine and tractor I stayed down to the house with the three little ' boys and canned peaches After I got the I peaches in the boiler was supposed to fill the truck with gas and go up to tire fieldT was fill- ing the tank but had only put in three or four gallons when I got this feeling that I mustn’t finish filling that gas tank I felt that up there something was wrong So I let another gallon or so go in but I kept feeling ‘No I’ve got to go I have to get up then There’s something ' wrong' FOXTROT “The closer I got up into the field the more urgent this feeling became I got up there and pulled alonjgside the combine jumped out and ran around to tire back of the track I called his name Then I called ‘Dad’ I could hear him respond kind of choked He said softly ‘Now don’t get excited I’m caught under this plat- form below the combine I can hardly breathe I want you to get up onto the tractor and do whatever you exactly what I tell you do— don’t touch that lever (It was the hydraulic lift on this platform that raised and lowered it) If you do it will release the pressure and it will come right down “I got up on the combine and he told me -- CLOSE TO HOME REAL LIFE ADVENTURES AS You NATIONS cam see most ‘uh-uh-u- h’ answered’ “Now you know what that taught me? It taught me that when people pray and somebody else is involved the other person has got to be in tune so that when you have that prompting like I had to get up there you have to be in tune to receive that message Otherwise he could have been gone He would have gradually choked to death because the platform was slowly slipping” Peter was already at the bottom of the trank He had removed everything and still there was nothing about Carmen Hodges Grossbetg Why? See tomorrow's Herald Journal for the next install- ment of this story Win qt bridge of thc By Phillip Alder MASS TkANSPOKTAHON SYsreM consists of Boses what to do step by step He cautioned me again ‘Whatever you do don’t touch that little lever’ I put the clutch in put it into gear I turned the key on and that thing would not start I tried and tried I didn’t know what to do I was saying a silent prayer- all the time He said ‘Well we’ll have to move it by the power of the battery’ He told me what to do I put it in gear and let the clutch out When everything was set he said ‘Turn the key’ I did and by the power of the battery it would go And it moved He got out and burst into tears and said ‘Now 1 know that prayers are full of seNo citzcns on 7Mem may TO A CASINO You have nine cards in a suit the only key missing card being the queen Yesterday we found that the percentage play is to cash the ace and king This is nearly two percent better than taking a second-round finesse West leads a fourth-highespade sdven: four queen ace North should shut his eyes and take a shot at three notramp Unless your partnership wishes to play a sophisticated transfer system there is no easy way to find out if the spade suit will prove to be a fatal weakness And to make five clubs you must guess the tramp position You start with seven top tricks: one spade two hearts two diamonds and two clubs st Having apottad the Faglara and thalr two sata of twina approaching the FHImana quickly prepared themselves i i 9 The extra tricks can come from clubs but if you Jose a trick to the club queen you must piake sure the opponents cannot ran the spade suit Although not really necessary here first apply the Rule of Eleven to West’s lead: 1 1 minus 7 is 4 So there are four spades higher than the seven outside the West hand: And you have seen all of them: East's queen and your This means that West must have the king-1- 0 of spades hovering over your jack-nin- e At trick two play a club to dummy’s king then finesse the jack through East Even if Wert wins with the queen the contract is safe If you follow “nine never" cashing the ace and king of clubs East will win the third club and push a spade ' through killing your contract ©2003 NEA North 4 4 V K 4 West r K 10 8 7 V J 9 3 10 8 2 4 4 j3 5 2 A 6 5 3 J K 10 9 7 East 64 ¥ Q 5 3 2 Q 10 8 7 4 Q 9 Q 6 2 South 4 ne ’ V 4 A J 9 A 6 4 K 7 4A 8 54 ' Dealer South Vulnerable: East-We- st South West North East NT Pass 3 NT All 1 pass Opening lead: 47 |