| Show an fn ALEXANDER pickette 5 copi right IMO by the Short story pub co all rights reserved As I 1 sat on the porch talking deaul terlly with the landlord the wide room porch with the wobbly creaky comac ratable splint bottomed rocking chairs of the old tavern not the pi azza of the garish new hotel which the younger generation point to pride fully as stamping alth an outward and visible sign the village s evolution into a city I 1 happened to mention I 1 ve forgotten exactly how it came into my mind having seen gen grants tun eral humph observed the landlord contemptuously you aughter oughter ve seen mose johnson s funeral it you wanter say seen a funeral eh fel lers an appreciative chuckle circulated among the rest of the loungers and spurred into asking why cause it was worth scein ex the landlord scraping vigor bously with his jack knife at the turnip with which he was refreshing himself whenever any of you out of town fellers comes round here braggin about your gorgeous mortuary page ants like them gen grant s obsequies you jest mentioned be added after thoughtfully selecting a new point of attack upon the turnip it don t fease us any we jest nudge each other in an unassuming unas sumin way an say he aughter oughter ve seen mose johnson s fun eral it was plenty of pano ramer for simply country folks like us what was ita how was it remark ablee I 1 asked curiously oh I 1 dunno as it was re except out here in the country debbe you tellers that live in big cities are used to them replied the landlord cautiously well let me hear about it and I 1 can tell better I 1 urged then to begin at the began the landlord clearing reluctant ly apparently tor action by depositing the turnip with his knife stuck upright in it on the porch railing it was all on account of an ord nance we ve got here that there sha n t be any parades uelese the may ar gives a permit tor it last year when the circus struck town we had a cross grained crabbed old teller tor mayor an when the circus man went to get a permit tor his parade he got turned biown I 1 ant a permit to parade says the circus man apu can t bave it says the mayor I 1 d like to know why I 1 can t says ane circus man cause circuses are an indecent inventions of the devil tor to lead the young an unwary anter destruction st an consequently I 1 don t approve of them says the mayor bothin of the kind says the cir cus man have ou know that mine Is a great moral and Instruct in shaw that 11 benefit an uplift any munley an especial any old moth eat en fossil like you so the two of them had it back an forth hot an heavy the circus man beggin an the mayor the circus man threatening threat enin an the mayor deflin him the circus man an the mayor obstinate the circus man gettin madder an madder ac the mayor not budgin an inch the j circus man cussin and the mayor finin him seventy five cents per cuss the upshot ot it all was that the circus man had to leave without the permit but shearin he d parade in spite of all the mayors an permits in creation while the mayor was bowin you can t have ul says the mayor he t if he had to call out the militia to stop him well mister circus man came down here an carried on so methin awful worse than the wildest man from bor neo you ever seen an every thin to everybody it they d only tell him how he could outwit the mayor an jest then I 1 had sorte an idear so I 1 ays to him sa I 1 gas mose johnson alyin dead this linit for the poor board to bury him mose always bein a shiftless thoughtless no count kand of a feller I 1 wish it was the baor snaps M ft hat of it ell I 1 sas s I 1 d inno as theres adv or hice h ice or pern sin 1 do I 1 get that contract tor geedin the an mals I 1 says you do says the circus man his face lighting up like a transparency set em up tor the house an then come and show me where johnson s abode is at first the disconsolate stood out for a full suit of moarnin dress shoes ns bonnet veil an all the flain s but finally she compromised on a crape veil an a pass to the show an a seat on the band wagon accordia Ac cordin right on the time adver tided along down the street past the mayors office came a hearse with joanson peacefully in it an the circus mollerin fol lerin in all its glory with crowlen an carrein on each in bla the red an gold an the elephants trumpeting trum petin an the lions boarin an the hyenas laughin an the rest 0 the menagerie howlan an grantin an particular style an the band sometimes a funeral march to lie time an sometimes A hot time in the old town to funeral march time an the horses brancin an the ladles an the chariots an the clowns brinnin grinnin an the men smil in an the steam planner hymn tunes with variations an the circus man a dancin pie wha at gasps the mayor bald stallion lookin proud an serene an happy my socks it the mayors turn to be mad he came rushin out ot his office like a crazy man on the loose an catchin hold of the bridles of the horses pullan the hearse shoved them right spang back on their haunches what a the deanin of this here shouted the circus man ridin up pre bendin to terribly shocked what do you mean by inter terin in this out way with my old friend mr johnson s funeral you old grave rob ber youa aba adf gasps the mayor have you know that we re per our sad duty of attending atten din our late lamented friend s remain to ther last place you irreverent old body snatcher ain t we mrs john son says the circus man pleasant a basket of chips yes you be chirps the forlorn from where she was peanuts an popcorn besides the bass drum in the band v agon well sir the mayor was pig headed about some things but he realized in that he dian didn t have no authora ty to stop a funeral in full career so all he could do was grind bis teeth an troth considerable at the riluth an hope something some turn up rhadd give him a chance at that circus man while that parade followed johnson all over town an they dian didn t shirk johnson none either but finally went ahead an planted him to the tune of where was moses when the light went out there was the biggest crowd at that funeral that ever attended such a melancholy event in this town an that s why concluded the landlord resuming his knife and turnip were clalvin that the last sad rites paid to mose johnson e ashes were so methin new an unique in the way of obsequies at least in this here neighborhood |
