Show the one man veary vili e leh de fust tim I 1 even in asoo york a friend mine took me in low an made me ac q am ed wid russell sage hungry hawkes aw g on wear wll e sure he pointed im out ter me so s I 1 d ki ow im again it I 1 ever met im an vo ilan t waste no time bryin ter touch am fur a nickel honor once more yes it was the latest thing in french duels alphone and genrl quarreled alphonse sent 1 ats ph and genrl seized bis rapier and run it through then her sent his photograph to alphonse ani al phonse ran it through what thena then tt ey embraced and dined to gether bashful BASH mr JONES HE LOSES HIS HAT AND HIS averd d the th ng he t lie even about the aih he caught he just let the photo graph speak for itself he photographed it thena yes he stuck a small branch 0 a amilt atiee up in the sand hung the fish to it and then photographed it at choit range but he overdid the thin how was thata why the branch looked like a big oak in the picture and the fish was more than half as big as the tree somehow people suspected him of lydig even if he dian didn t say a word his only knowledge where is the board of healthy in qu red the stranger who had been wandering aimlessly about the city hall I 1 can tell you where it re aliel the d looking man eha it isn t at mrs starved s I 1 know that much because that s where I 1 board philadelphia ledger another here dis paper gives six columns to de russian jap war an one inch to de fight st night between bulldog smith an kid bone jimmy yer don t say I 1 tell yer de press has reached a bum stage when it lets a attl think like dat interfere wid a real scrap when they flowed thomson did ou ever run away when ou were a boya once and I 1 suppose the tears flowed freely when you returned yes I 1 made the mistake of returning when father was at home stray stories sage adv ce womanlike she kept him puzzled and worried I 1 don t know how to take her he complained oh as to that returned the wise old gentleman perhaps it would be just as well to take her in our arms welcome on guest sam I 1 suppose you like the men who always remember the waiters sam no sah ah laks dem dat don t de waiter den dey s liable to tip de same one two or three times en not know it As to lies A lie is a statement intended to deceive not necessarily why nota A statement intended to deceive may be merely international diplomacy or financial strategy about the limit 1 la montt Sta lewood Is coming to tell one of his jokes let us run la moyne are his jokes really so bada la montt bada why they are jokes you wouldn t listen to it he was going to buy the next round of drinks pa 8 idea of it little wlllie say pa what does this paper mean by saying the pa tient is convalescing 7 pa oh it means that he has man aged to outwit the doctor my son st louis post dispatch the last shall be first tess ive just begun to read that novel you loaned me jess oh have youa its queer the way the first chapter opens isn t it tess I 1 haven t come to thai yet having a good time her mother mr sloman has been coming to see you for quite a long while maude what are his anten alons do you knowd she well I 1 think he intends to keep on coming never fa 1 ng method tom your fiancee strikes me as possessing an awfully hard eart how did you succeed in making an jack with a diamond i t i L we would cautious like to name a cigar after you said the manufacturer to the prominent citizen have you any objection well I 1 would like to smoke one of the cigars first as the reply I 1 care to be identified with ani confidence game expos ng a fallacy I 1 belief the time Is approaching when every question will be submit ted to arbitration and all the people will agree well if you to be undeceived just make an attempt to settle a dis between the owner of the house and a tenant A kick coming he after a quarrel you know when I 1 proposed to you I 1 expected your father would kick me when I 1 went to him she tartly I 1 wish he had well I 1 m going right over to his house and ask him to kick me now arous ng the wrath editor of the weekly howl what on earth Is the trouble out there office boy W hy there s a lot of mar ried fellows coln ter kill you fer an article about how to strengthen a woman s voice comic cuts proof pos tive johnny tommy smiths mother makes him go to sunday school every sunday johnny s mamma why do you say she makes him goa johnny cause he goes ram s horn H tt ng the mark the hardest work I 1 know began borroughs Is to find somebody easy to work eha interrupted wiseman la montt enterprise I 1 notice every one on this street looks out when an automobile passes la moyne yes and the flab ped dier got onto it now be toots an automobile horn instead of a tin one imps tion ernie gussie sapp says it I 1 refuse him he will go away and oln either the japanese or russian army belle then accept him thoe na alons have enough troubles already those misleading ads he why do you always look at the finis of a newspaper loe story bore reading ita she to see it ends with the hergins recommendation tor any patent beauty balm how could there be silence the silence she said was something appalling silence be repeated yes but you there t doing best have you eer made any effort to do your fellow man any good certainly answered senator 89 graum it Is a well known tact that money widely circulated can accod but little in order to exert its ill force ani achieve great works it must be concentrated welp I 1 have been doing my best to con cen as much of it as possible washington star real estate altar wanted heulitt gruet has been converted jewett Js that so hewitt yea and having had a few real estate deals ln before he experienced religion he I 1 as put this ad in the paper vi anted by a man who has just joined the church first class liar to dispose 0 a number of lots which he had on hand at the time he was converted town topics beating the beggar mr scribble said the retired to his secretary I 1 see we received begging ester day and evry one has a stamp en closed tor a reply yes sir wel answer them on post caida and encourage them to write again knew his business that s a fine lot of pigs you have there said the old farmer what do moufeed you feed em why corn of course replied ama beur agriculturist who had recently moved from the city in the ear queried the f no answered the a a in the mouth handicapped the toy building blocks were hav ing a quiet chat among themselves in the nursery of an old english castle I 1 wish I 1 were an american heir ess sighed the letter II 11 because asked the J then his infantile duke lets would not drop me explained the disgust ed 1 design by what accident did such a stupid roan get into office twan t any accident anett ered farmer corntassel we put him there a purpose we thought that if he took a notion to be dishonest a stupid man would be a heap easier to catch than a smart one dangerous gift mrs crawfoot our son sam writes like a copy plate aint you glad to bear ita mr crawfoot no by ben it he writes too good hes liable to never get any higher than those chaps that write cards on the sidewalk more valuable I 1 suppose a good memory la very valuable to a man in your position I 1 dont know answered senator sorghum A good memory helps some but it s knowing just when to forget things that counts wash ington star heavy what did you do with that article that bittler sent you on the longevity of the patriarchs 7 I 1 m using it for a paper weight cleveland plain dealer THE RETORT COURTEOUS madof topknot U H to butcher a boy HI I 1 hilloah Hul loah have you seen my hareb batches butches But ches boy ga am ave you seen my whiskers 9 london punch strong proof gunner do you think he lovea her enough to eat her cooking after they are married 7 guyer does he why man he ate what she cooked in a chafing dish when she was a college girl from bad to worse well jane said mrs desayle am patiently haven t you found the orna ment for my hair yeta yes maam answered jane but now I 1 can t find your hair ma am ed sharpe and after the great rail road accident dian didn t you feel a hard lump rising in your throat I 1 should say po I 1 had just eaten one of those sandwiches tha train boys sell comparing notes imy i my husband remarked mrs ho mer Is the light of mv life so is mine boy lies o 0 smokes and goes |