| Show beel oe el P philosophical 1 ph wal observations by BYRON WILLIAMS have you considered the future state of your body as well as that of your have you planned anat shall be done with the clay when you have shut shuf fled off oft this mortal coil and lie an ip animate mass grave subject approaching deterioration will you assign your Is body to the burial ground where the gophers may considered gnaw your toes toese will your anatomy be cremated and your ashes preserved in an urn or like the bodies of certain indians will you be hung in the treetops tree tops where the crows may caw at you and the buzzards pick at your remains 7 the scientific members of the crematory societies rocie ties tell us it is better to be r incinerated more conducive to the general health ot of the people we leave behind and vastly more mor certain of one very desirable fact that the person treated is dead clear dead and no mistake aft r the crematory gets through with the body there Is no imminent danger of the corpse rising up in the coffin and asking for a drink people who have u horror of being burled buried alive ir will do well to order cremation in their wills the aly real objection to 4 cremation is that it is fearfully hard on the gophers naturally the mind is appalled at the thought of being burned ean tn in a i 4 crematory fire is a painful thing and cremation hints so much ot of hell fire and its p ment tl at one hesitates before confining a loved one s body to I 1 the process B t aien ta tie e life is gone IN what hat matter there is no suffering T 4 no pain no real bation no nothing all is a dark and plutonian pint onlan vacuum a nonentity a nihility a nullity the body is only waste the soul the light the be ng is gone why then not do away with the dross the husk the hull the shella Is it not infinitely better than to store the body away in the ground where vermin any eat it where rodents may destroy it where rot may degrade it and unhappy thought where thieves may break the sanctity of even the tho last narrow ho he se ar I 1 steal ita Is there one v ho would R prefer to have his dry bones rattled by a spectacle I 1 professor before a class of damp eared cared addles cent and callow me I 1 cal eat students than to know his ashes stand in a beautiful urn on the where his widow s second husband may refer to thorn them in times of domestic infelicity 7 will you be b ined bitted burned quick limed mummified or suspended in a tree like dried truitt there Is no use in evading the question it is t your dour door doorbell bell you must make a choice or leave it to those who survive you perhaps it is as well to procrastinate as a corpse cortise Is 1 easily satisfied and not given to philo philos sopi y or argument SG tX now that the season for ing how wo we lid ild you like to tie be the ice man Is off a more modern problem is propounded how would you like to be a turtle farmer it if you are undecided you may hinves being a D on digate by reading texas papers which are telling ot of I 1 n do 1 a man near orange who his a turtle farm when the ng turtle the sidey sides of his purse begin to friction by rubbing together he gets out his drafs drar net and hauls in a few bin h in ired po ads of turtles the big snappers are placed in a pen and fed antil they are fat and ready for market he finds i ready sale for his product in new orleans where the fastidious are fond of turtle soup ot of aristocratic name every eiery american youth has caught turtles he ile recalls with some degree of anthi s am strenuous battees with the old mud shell the snapping turtle and the soft shell turtle many a fish pole and line have gone the way ot of debris through a battle royal with a whopper and many an awful bite has dwindled to a sanguinary affray with a beady eyed reptile ot of the deep thus the american who is reminiscent will ponder on the tion of ill e and e for the turtle ral ing b iciness no boy now grown to manhood who ever got his finger or his big we in the mouth ot of a snapping turtle will rill look fai mably upon the scheme the tenacity with which a pup holds to a root or a bull dog to a leg Is nothing when compared to a hard hardshell thell mud turtle when his passions are aroused and he grips any part of the anatomy he ile neer nener lets go until his Ws head it if off and even then he Is apt to take his head in his mouth and slide into the water with stubborn mien he Is a fighter from the dad lands and quits only when the odds against him have completely annihilated his chances A turtle farmer must run all sorts of chances feeding his steel it if ever a snapper gets a hold on the calf of his leg the joys of a turtle hinest aie ate made to look like the proverbial thirty cents in ra sing i pigeons one can go into the loft catch a dove or two and stroke tl ti air pretty I 1 eads I 1 ut the turtle farmer who goes oes into the head petting business will need a crowbar and a lever to disengage himself the texas papers say sa there is big money in the business but one gets much satisfaction from a peaceful life bereft of these days As tor for us w R e don t like turtle soup anyhow some low brewed pessimist ical statistician I 1 as arrive I 1 at the deduction that gumpl ins are aror growing ing scarcer 3 ear car by year this means of course that by the he time the city foils folls get a Na vacation cation and n P e hurry into the I 1 pastoral las pastoral toral country the p limpkin pies will Is be all gone some tin e ago the great problem was grow ng scarce shall wp we open the mints to the tree coinage ot of silver etc later the q kestion of how to be I 1 appy tho agh marr marrel e I 1 a agitated the e wealth now we re aie ate up against the real thing it if we may be allo vad the slang of common parlance Is the pumpkin p e to become obsolete 7 perish the thought how flow we 4 e hare have I 1 in the luse ous p imp irnel in sl ce it recalls the halcyon dais days the days of ashira tion and faith before the rude hand of experience blue penciled a few things on the page of life up to the pi sent time we hive been permitted to this joyous period by occa onal communion omi om cumon w th i 1 in pie NOR ow we are t be torener cut off the gumpl vi is growing smaller and smaller fewer and cewe each season season and will boon soon be a mere curiosity for the sideboard time m was as when at cattle sl aws pumpkin s wei e fed the bovine beauties to keep their hair steel and the man who raised the biggest in carried off the finest prize alas oi 01 e by one the things of youth are being sr swept ept away and the pumpkin rolls into tl e d in beyond alon with other beloved things a mourned luxury of tl e old fasi fast toned lay las s somehow baese statistic statisticians imis are depressing tl TI ey shatter many a hai hat py men ory and create hoag blins as children build mud houses vale the p apkin pie dut but we still hae lime ilent i lent ot of material lett left for mud lies perhaps ne a soul 1 be athani fill for that the ubiquitous typographical enor has long been the object of qualifying adjectives ires passionately ex presse the humorist nho ho seea see fun in others seismic stir bances quotes with glee each elch startling typewriter gets ant an 1 une eccel 1 it i tte terance rance nade n ade when the types get a twisted after a time the victim smiles too at the plugged letter thing wl th so incensed him fot not long ago the letter e on cui tip op writer became enamored of the letter 0 said man and woman roman I 1 i ng t gether get the same facial expression to a greater ca 01 lesser extent it v as ris eatn so R with ith the e R which aich when cloe I 1 with love and lint made an immik sion as round as a silver lollar with mith nary a tong bongie ie in the middle or a breal brel in the circle the res ift was alarming it reminds us now of the editor R buo 0 los all his letter i a s all our e s vere vero 0 os s at the time we were karing lest our constituency would read proof on us and set us lo 10 as a ru rule ic i I 1 it eints ed fello v who had never been to spelling school the insult however has net nt been heralded to us aul an I 1 we are comforted with the though t that perhaps nobby real the articles article h aft after C r all anyhow ours isn t as bad as the experience of the editor wl 0 ciote ot of a fashionable society laly lady of questionable age and 0 er it place I 1 tl ti Is head has gone to wabash when the absent absentminded minded proofread frea ler passed on the line it real rea I 1 hag gone to wabash the editor is still in tl e innermost recesses of the woo I 1 waiting fo for the society lady to relent there Is always jov joy in comparison with others woe JCL U A shakespeare called attention to what an infinite piece of work Is man nian the bard ot of avon anon had in mind the gracious gallant honest kindly man the man wl 0 e lye 0 o i 1 erred to ho be broad man shakespeare Shakes Shake peari s no ba hal I 1 ION love e tor for his tello v men lugers 11 uld td love man i the only ting thing tl it at will ill i al a fen en per cent 10 lo 40 Is ains dered n ai at ho bo 1 iq I 1 rou I 1 holier holler than tho i can b bt the seil i roa alen ten ge 90 about smiling 1 I voi sly at a few in their set et ai at I 1 at the I 1 cr or ta a d OL 0 a tl ey scatter gol I 1 to the nedy ahen a orl norl of s sami ml it I 1 tellow fellow interest wo ro I 1 11 I 1 I 1 ie e infinitely bettel wl WI at E s acney to the inai vl needs t how ilov shil an I 1 asso associate ciati ns as that cle elevates vate 7 it hell for a 1 alary ho r i r tk two 0 i antil spent the sincere interest or I 1 an ashal e I 1 aa as greatel ii I i ci a to choei sympathy will not feed the I 1 una y b t t vill 11 elevate the bini bin i ic I 1 veil bell says it is not what we give bt bit t w N share I 1 0 veil vell meal s we e saul I 1 shale shaie our smiles our hopes our aspirations 0 r encouragement in dri I 1 by sharing enhance 0 ir help ten tenfold told not only to I 1 r t to housein esbe es be cosmopolitan pi pt t away self pride r I 1 IS V 1 |
