Show irvvi1 i y Pi Pag 26 — The Herald Journal Logan Utah Thureday August 29 1996 a sight to see Mother-in-la- w word to “Fargo NJ)N the woman who was looking out the window and thought she saw a cow in By Ann London Crouton Syndicate Inc T' DEAR READERS: I am oo vacation but I have left behind some of my favorite columns that you may have missed the first time around I hope you enjoy them — Ann Landers DEAR ANN LANDERS: Yesterday I looked out of my kitchen window and could have sworn I saw an old cow across the way I w w woman in best-dress- ed Urn finest munching grass between two houses the backyard Oa another occasion the “cow” looked like a tramp Both limes it turned out to be her mother-in-lais 77 not the most beautiful or My mother-in-la- was just about to shout to my husband and tell him a cow had wandered out of the pasture and to go put her back in thank heavens I was interrupted by a phone call After a second look out the windmar I discovered the “cow" was my mother-in-lawearing saddle w pants world but certainly the When our kids were sick or I was down with the flu “the old cow was right there cooking cleaning and doing the laundry In every emergency “the old tramp” has come through like the angel she is Beauty is in the eye of the beholder — Helen from KC DEAR HELEN: You said it honey DEAR ANN LANDERS: While riding the bus to wort my friend glanced at the man seated i her He was reading a newspaper Suddenly she noticed the man's zipper was open and the gap was most embarrassing She managed to get bis atten- tion when he turned a page Using gestures she Three weeks ago I was frightened by the sight of directed his attention to the problem The man was a tramp hanging around the machine shed It was horrified and set about to dose the gap at once dusk and I quickly locked all the doom A few minThe very moment he yanked np his zipper the utes later I saw my husband walking toward the bus lurched and the woman seated next to him tramp When they embraced I nearly fainted The flipped the tail of her fox fur over her shoulder: The fur got stuck in the man’s zipper and they were “tramp” was his mother To put it bluntly Ann the woman looks so down hopelessly entangled the woman furious and not at all accepting of at the heels that it makes me sick She also scares is 74 the man’s apologies suddenly yelled “This is my the daylights out of me My mother-in-la)!” She got up to leave and of course the man years old has plenty of money to spend and is in to get off the mis with her good health Whatt can I do about this revolting situation? — Fargo ND The last my friend saw of this couple was DEAR FARGO: Nothing At her age she is not the two of them on the street cornet struggling to likely to change So grin and bear it honey I just get free from one another — Vera in Hemet Calif DEAR VERA: Thanks for a hilarious story hope your eyesight remains good And thank heavThat’s enough to make a man want to go back to ens you aren’t trigger-happ-y DEAR ANN: I am bursting at the seams to say a buttons w ill-fat- ed Targeting cause of stomach pain Lactose intolerance is diagnosed by a special By Peter H Gott MD Newspaper Enterprise Association DEAR breath analysis and is treated with products — such as Lactaid — that supply the missing enzyme DR GOTTi My In my opinion your husband should have a husband has been hydrogen breath test I’ll bet that the test will indicate a lactase deficiency and that he will be helped by using the supplement I mentioned If his breath test is negative be should — in my view — be referred to a gastroenterologist for further testing such as and an analysis of possible food allergies Let me know how this situation is resolved DEAR DR GOTT My nephew is a college student and has donated blood plasma to make some extra money He’s been advised this is a safe procedure and can be done twice a week What are your thoughts on this? having stomach problems for over three years Dairy products make his situation worse (although they are not exclusively die cause) he has diarrhea that lasts foe up to three hours he has pain cramps and his stomach rumbles X-ra- ys Stool and blood samples have been normal So what is his problem? DEAR READER: The symptoms you describe could have many causes ranging from peptic disease (including ulcers and hiatal hernia) to food DEAR READER: He should follow the blood allergies and lactose intolerance In your husband’s donation guidelines set up by the American Red case it is this last possibility that is intriguing Cross Selling plasma (the liquid portion of the In order for milk sugar (lactose) to be digested the intestinal tract must contain an enzyme (lactase) blood) is much less stressful on the body than whole blood donations because the blopd cells are to break down the sugar In the absence of lactase ' ' v retained when a wide of symptoms array people experience bn However there limits are how long obviously they ingest dairy products The most common of these symptoms are diarrhea bloating gas and your nephew can continue donating plasma which abdominal discomfort — the very problems that contains vital proteins and other nutrients The plague your husband Moreover these symptoms blood donation authorities can advise you dependcan be quite variable in their intensity — even from ing on your nephew’s general state of health and meal to meal how he feels after several weeks of this activity j'" W Horoscope y who have similar standards By Bemics Bede Osol Newspaper Enterprise AssodaMon CAPRICORN (Dec 22-J19) You should be ‘ grateful for any advantages gi today If not disappointment will accompany your unrealistic expectations b AQUARIUS (Jan 19) Strive to be realis tic today and make sure that your optimism doesn’t prevent you from thinking sensibly You must face the truth an For Friday Aug 30 1996 Your Birthday Certain impediments that 20-Fe- previously blocked your road to success will be removed in the year ahead This will make it easier for you to achieve your goals and objectives PISCES (Feb 20) Use caution when managing your resources today Above all don’t let a friend make financial commitments for you with- out your approval S (March 19) If you are indifferent to your responsibilities today the objectives you establish for yourself might not be attained TAURUS (April 20) Take care not to confuse wishful thinking with optimism today Wishful thinking will only produce more confusion GEMINI (May 20) Associates will be entitled to their opinions today Do not make a big deal about anything and avoid double standards CANCER (June 22) Tty to analyze devela from practical perspective today If you opments don’t you might do something against your better 20-Mar- ch 21-Ap- ril VIRGO (Aug 22) Tty to be reasonable and fair in your commercial dealings today without giving away the form When you make a concession make sure you get something in return y LIBRA (Sept 23) Do not be today if you are maneuvered into a position which requires a firm stance If you show a little back23-Se- pt 23-O- ct wishy-wash- bone you will get the respect you deserve SCORPIO (Oct 24-N22) Even though your intentions will be good it might be easier for you to make promises today than it will be for you to fulfill them at a later date SAGITTARIUS (Nov 23-D21) Your generoscould detrimental if be today you get involved ity with the wrong kind of people Seek companions ov ec Crossword sV: s I 20-M- ay 21-Ju- ne 21-Ju- ly judgmenL LEO (July 23-A- ug 22) Tbday you might get involved in something that is beyond the scope of your experience and talent If this occurs do not be too proud to go to others for help h 4- FRANK AND ERNEST Thursday Aug 29 1996 Actress Pitts of curve Type 1 Cede Telegram 6 Bread Chooses ingredient 31 While frost 11 Says 52 Like a pin? 13 Insect antenna 53 How sweet 14 Income from 34 Therefore housing 35 Dakota Indian 15 Connected to 38 Path the Internet 39 Tennis player 16 ACROSS 22 25 26 30 AGenhwin 17 Key player 19 Hadameal 20 Diacritical marie Joh- n- 42 Roman 90S 45 Lew polite 44 Muqmylmwn'a 49 Distant planet MEDICAL -- INS 53 Next to 54 Red salad ingredient 55 Fred Astaire's tur rout hsalth poKNT n"' 4rsfia!Ht'AHCt : COVtt THf StlH or its j’m jowy CONTENT CLAIMS 56 Washington HPT Sound ‘frtAviey DOWN Ommwnu1 Gagarin 2 Roman road 3 Alcohol lamp 4 Allow to 5 Window covering 4 Baibn Streisand I movie 20 Tradition 7 Wriggly fish 21 For a short time I Inter — (among others) 22 Geographical division 9 Transmitted 23 Copycat 10 Pine or yew 24 Unescorted 12 Slip 13 Tricks ulf If Force 27 Small bit 28 Pmripita-tio- n 1 THE BORN LOSER THORNAPFUE YOU SURPRISE NE I fI W5TAPWT a I DIDN'T THINK YOU WOULD KNOW YOUR CEFT5ID6FR0K 29 Gaelic 35 Employ anew 36 Stop 37 Construct 40 Primitive OIMSrNEAhB 44 Flower holder 46 Steep nxk 47 Snack 43 Glasgow resident 41 Lowest deck 50 Zero 42 Havana's place 52 Flightless bird 43 TVs talking horse (2 wds) TOUR RIGHT WHEN ITCWteTO 5SNUN&! 4 Ka r CHIEF- i - r IN PNRLANC£tX)i SHOULD SAYK |