Show i Page 10 — The Herald Journal Logan Utah Monday April 29 1996 Teens discuss how best to react to abuse at home A: From Kalani Noa Alan J Smith Greg Crawford Omar Jones Krisha Cooper Xavier lace and Lameasha Morgan Jackson Academy in Newport News VA: No one has a right to abuse anyone If you arc scared of your abuser leave Don’t be a punk and let someone abuse on your own Stand up to this person and tell them that you will not :tand for this Some of us will soon be 17 and go through life with this on our minds One of us said “I would keep God in my heart and pray to him about the situation and depend on him” Our hearts go out to you and we will keep you in our prayers Pat Schudy: I'm truly sorry to learn about everything that’s been happening to you It sounds like you’ve gone through and are still going through a really hard time I hope the following information will help you have a better life very soon It can’t be said too often— NOBODY has the right to abuse you It doesn’t matter who they are or what’s been done to upset them Any abuse has to stop The people who can help you get it stopped will need to know more about your situation What is could try to work the problem out with the person who is abusing you If that doesn’t work you could try moving in with a different family member or a friend who will give you a safe place to live until you can get help If you have no other family or friends you can with you have the choice of involving the authorities Tell your teacher call a help line the police Social Services or an Abuse Hotline and report the abuser and see what can be done about changing your living arrangements so that you can get your life together You can work with Social Services to try to get emancipated You are almost 18 years old You need to start showing some leadership and begin to solve your own problems You could get a job and move out move in It won’t cost you anyHotline thing to call and talk to them They’re open 24 hours every day for teenagers children and parents to talk about any kind of problem Their counselors will speak to you in either English or Spanish They are a totally safe place to call You don’t have to tell them who you are If you feel you are in danger at home they will work to get you to a shelter where you will be safe They will try to help you identify some options to deal with whatever is the main cause of your problems If you decide that it’s in your best interests (or the bat interests of any younger brothers and sis- “It takes a whole village to raise a child” is the African proverb often applied to education and child care In reality though villages don’t raise children Parents raise children But parents do best when village is supporting and reinforcing their efforts says Dr Tom Lee family and human develop- !£ ment specialist in the Utah State University College of Family Life So as we emphasize helping children develop into productive contributing members of society let’s remember that the best way to do this is to strengthen their parents Lee makes the comparison of parenting today in a high risk world with parents raising their children in the past with the constant threat of infectious diseases In those times only the parents with the most resources could afford to protect their children from an epidemic But rather than condemning the children of the poorer jMrenfa the community rallied to eliminate infectious diseases There is a similar need today to eliminate sources of risk in the community for the common good of all children and families self-relia- nt Lee says “Helping families with limited resources gain the education skills and community support necessary to care for their children in turn helps the whole community stay healthy” he says Lee says fellow family and human development specialists to “civilizing an uncivilized rightly described child-raisi- have ng Confidential to Shannon in Mississippi: Information is being sent that may help you with an immediate education program The tuition assistance you’d like to receive will be hard to get for the reasons vou mentioned You might try contacta list of ing the college in Maryland Ask them for all available scholarships One of them just might fit you Stranger things have happened and it couldn’t hun to try Good luck Sand comments and questions to Pal Schudy Lats Talk Universal Press Syndicate 4900 Main Kansas City to pstetstalkiaQaoicom Mo or ters) to report the person who’s abusing you co they’ll help you do that Child expert explains how to talk with unborn babies By USU Information Services In some ways being a parent is like teaching hygiene to the uneducated trying to schedule the unorganized coaching the uncoordinated and mediating disputes between warring factions Like the Peace Corps motto says “It’s the Toughest Job You’ll Ever Love” Children who thrive have parents who provide warmth and as well as structure and limits Lee says Parents who thrive have support from friends and family as well as access to appropriate information They have employers who recognize the demands of parenting by providing flexibility to accommodate the needs of children Parents thrive best when they receive recognition of their efforts and the vital contribution they are making to the community He says there is an increasing recognition of the value of family support programs around the country These programs can take the form of a home visitor a drop-of- f center where children can be supervised for a few hours or a community meeting place where parents can share “war stories” Parents need recognition that they are doing a job with unreasonable demands for which they are underappreciated undervalued by society and certainly underpaid It’s a job that always requires more work When parents take on this job without a network of supportive friends and relatives — particularly single it parents — can be overwhelming This is when the whole village can come to the aide of parents Lee says human being” Information Services Talkback on giving advice to a friend who’s Bethzaida gotten a girl pregnant from Angie maria Madeline Melinda Melissa Yashin and Jwiana in New Jersey: If an unwed mother keeps the babv we agreed— -- if he s man enough to have sex he’s man enough to face responsibility If for adoption the (she) decides to give the child up to the has oppose He had father right biolugical the in baby as she did so conceiving as much part he should just take care of the baby some other member of your family if you tell what is happening to you? Are you afraid of what might happen if this person is reported? If you’d like to talk to someone confidentially about your options call The Boys Town National Parents need community support to thrive By USU make your house? Are you the only one in your family being abused? Is the abuser threatening you or you what would you do? you You You have the final say as to what choice you happening? Is the abuser a stepparent a foster parent a legal guardian or just someone living in Q: From Desmond 17: If your mother or father had died and you had some other person taking care of you and that person was abusing Can you talk with your baby before your baby can talk? Linda Acredolo says it can be done Before she brings her findings to Logan in June for a Utah State University conference on infancy nur-turan- ce and childhood Acredolo will explain it to the nation on an NBC Dateline segment featuring her research That program will be seen across the country May 7 Acredolo a researcher in developmental psychology at the University of California-Davi- s has written a book Baby Signs which will be released the week of her appearance on NBC She maintains that through the use of simple body movements Adopt that signify objects events and needs babies can enjoy interactions with their parents that otherwise would have been impossible until they could talk “Her work provides direction on how to stay tuned into what your baby is trying to tell you before it is able to actually tell you with words” said USU psychology professor Frank Ascione Ascione is director of USU’s 13th Annual Conference on Infancy and Childhood June 17-2- 1 Ascione said among the conference's other featured presenters are Michael E Lamb National Institute on Child Health E Mark Cummings West Virginia University and Joseph L Cam- pos University of a pet jt' - May Day Continued from Piaget takes place the first weekend in May to allow for travelers and residents’ work schedules “The thing I’ve learned is there is no tradi- tion It’i been as flexible as necessary to accommodate needs” Sorensen said Sometimes maypole dresses were made out of paper if times were hard Queens used to be elected from whatever aged girls lived in the town at the time now the city council draws names from a list of high school juniors “The city just draws lots because they don’t want to be sued” Bowen joked Perhaps with good reason because as Bowen snd Sorensen have learned being queen of the May was a source of fierce pride for early Mendon residents Part of the pair’s research has aimed to gently set the record straight about May Day royalty “tt wrinkles a few eyebrows and stuff” when people learn a woman was a queen for a But there’s still a tot of gaps to be filled and Bowen and Sorensen invite input from anyone who has it At this year’s May Day Bowen will display parts of the scrapbook that have missing pieces to inspire people to share what they know year different than she had contended Sorensen said with a smile “He’s made some older some younger” Bowen chimed Documenting the royalty is an impressive task On the scrapbook pages Bowen forms she lists not only the queen and attendants for each year but also the parents of those people Bowen also seeks to identify all the subjects in photos as well as what year the pictures were taken All this requires a bit of detective work If her neighbors saved any of the old dresses worn to braid the maypole Bowen look pio-hires If they knew what year the dress was worn even better Then aimed with this information Bowen tries to match these clothing styles with what she sees in old Sometimes the background’s a chie “Now that’s the yellow church” she said pointing to one as yet unclassified photo “And it was torn down in 1964 so it has to be taken before then” But there's still a lot of gaps to be filled and Bowen and Sorensen invite input from anyone who has ft At this year’s May Day Bowen will display parts of the scrapbook that have missing pieces to inspire people to share what they know “The more we’ll show the more we’ll dig Sorensen said out It’s Despite all the research Bowen and Sorensen have done the why of having a May Day celebration at all is still a mystery “We don't really know” Sorensen saud “But the answers are out there It just means I haven’t looked long enough” pho-tograp- Photo by R Hwt Evans ‘Cheyenne and her six puppies d are crosses The pups are at a cute age will and al are grow to be medium-siz- e labrador-shepher- available for adoption For more 7 information call For information on other available pets cal the Cache Humane Society at 5 Those who have lost a pet may call Bridgerland Cache 1 Animal Hoepital at North Cache Vet Services (during offioe hours) 258-219- 0 Meadow Veterinarian within three days or Cache at 752-613- 5 755-712- 563-966- 752-215- The whole family was enlisted in her war on grime We all knew Clean that plates were cleared the Continued from Page 9 briefly abandon my laisscz faire attitude toward housework and have concluded it’s because of my grandmother Grandma Kate was a woman who took the quaint little maxim “cleanliness is next to Godliness" and turned it into a domestic battle cry This five-fo- ot blue-haire- d dynamo could invade a room and armed only with vacuum cleaner and furniture polish lay to rout a week’s detachment of dustballs and coffee rings Ever the tactician she viewed each nook and cranny as a major battleground and mounted her campaigns with precisely chosen artillery No cobweb was safe from her feather duster no bathtub scum secure from her Ajax and she’d broom the unsuspecting miscreant who marched across a freshly waxed Door Grandma Kate's duty roster was unyielding: Mondays were for Hwwginf linens Tuesdays for laundry and Wednesdays for ironing Fridays were set aside for the heavy housework sweeping mopping waxing vacuuming dusting polishing presumably so that the house was dean for the weekend And if for some reason (a visitor a vacation) this schedule was violated Grandma would he ia a foul mood until order was restored moment the last morsel of dinner was eaten ammonia was poured over pots and pans if we cooked fish towels were changed three times a week soiled clothes were placed in the hamper every night and wet towels were hung to dry beds were made every morning and ironing was never left for more than a day And no one ever sat on the beds My grandmother until the day she died was a tough drill sergeant Despite her best efforts however I went AWOL when I got to college It was bound to happen I rebelled and totally rejected my basic training It didn't help that I lived in a dorm and had two roommates neither of whom had earned her housekeeping merit badge The only times we cleaned our suite the entire first semester was the day before Parents' Week and the hour before room inspections By second semester we had reached new lows and were able to eliminate ironing almost entirely and reduce our laundrv loads bv an order of magnitude We discovered if we wore pullovers we didn’t need to iron an entire blouse just the collar and cuffs In a spirit of Bohemian abandon we took to throwing colored clothes in with the whites the results weren’t pretty but who cared? Towels didn’t require washing very often either because we were obviously dean when we used them Ditto the sheets if we showered before going to bed This sorry state continued for several years By the time I married I possessed what can only be described as "modest” house- keeping talents Except for my spring cleaning madness Which I'm convinced is genetic You'll see Those folks work- woolens in mothballs for the summer It’ll explain why as soon ss it’s Daylight Savings Time I’m ready to take on the dust bunnies and deal with floor wax Jr w A - - 752-307- la 2 ROBIN WILLIAMS a Logan iwaidanl and a WESTATES 1 INFO 753-190- ing on the Human Genome 0 i&x I U? Project are bound to locate a gene specifically earmarked for house-cleaniThe gene will of course be recessive which will explain why my housekeeping ng record is spotty but it will certainly account for my vernal yearnings to beat the carpets Spic ’a’ Span the baseboards Dip the mattresses and pul my — w CATS A DOGS hdrU writor by prutuaaiorv CELTIC FRIDE (TC-I3- ) TflD-Vfl- ItiEQCEST (TC-r- Li —9-- UTAH - $150 me to lift my feet while she vacuums under the sofa It's her way of telling me it's time t 7 )M dban antf iwharv i 7152) SlXSETfARK 09 71MB iry mu IIII 1 V A p ALL SEATS In fact now that Easter’s gone otlPecjlTfiaTonrlPaper? J built-u- 1 snd Mother's Day is on its way I think I hear my grandmother She’s barking orders and telling Gina Wfcfcw ji LOGAN LAUNDRY and DRY CLEANERS: i in ouunv T‘ scnvicE MIILHOUAND FAILS (K)7flM15 : 241 North Mm Un 752-46- fr ? |