Show Whether as a mother or an actress says TV’s Markie Post one thing is clear: When I Stopped Being Perfect I Got Better suppose I was trying to work thing out in secret” some- Post majored in drama first at Lewis and Clark College in Portland and then after a brief first marriage at Pomona College She then pursued a career in Hollywood taking acting classes and appearing in repertory productions while supporting herself as an associate producer of game shows Finally in 1982 she was cast as Lee Majors’ sidekick on The Fall Guy a role that her friends considered her “break” but which for Post prompted what she called a “delayed identity crisis” “I still thought of myself as a terrible person” Post recalled “I felt I had no character because I hadn’t become a teacher or Peace Corps volunteer I was con- stantly telling myself that what I did for a living was In 1982 she married Michael Ross a fellow actor who now is a screenwriter on the TV series Evening Shade Nevertheless with the births of her daughters in 1987 and 1990 Post was as she again besieged with tried to balance her career with motherhood After “tearing myself apart” Post said it was her own mother who persuaded her to stop being so hard on herself “She pointed out that I didn’t e have to be a mother like her” Post explained “She said ‘You’re showing your daughters a happy mother who loves them and loves what die’s doing That will be a valuable message for the girls when they grow up’” Post remains attuned to the issues that concern so many could "Nobody parents and children in self-dou- bt full-tim- general which is why she change my bad opinion readily accepted Presifrivolous and shallow” dent and Mrs Clinton’s Of course Post was invitation to produce the in harshwith of the children’s weighing myself 1 was Inaugural segment er judgments of herself celebration in I HAD MY she was raised by her father a nuclear than were her family or January 1993 (televised like bucket e two daugh-ther- e physicist and her mother "a friends “My middle on The Disney Channel) mom” in Walnut Creek a suburb of name was Defensive” with But she’s convinced hole in San Francisco wasn't she said with a laugh that in private ways ev"It was an almost idyllic childhood” “Nobody could change it — hour when eryone can help make the the think Post wB wasn't recalled "But I have terrible my opinion of myself I B world a better place for me about memories of the early years when my was like a bucket with a children “Only a few them” Mar- - older brother was very sick” He had hole in it — all the reasago 1 realized how ” days kie Post told been bom with a deformed trachea and surances ran right out” out important it is to see right me as we sat underwent several operations AlTo complicate matters things from our kids’ perover coffee though he is fine now and is a noted Post felt that she had to wear a cheer- spective” she said “I happened to get ful mask and couldn’t tell people about after a day of taping for the second scientist like his father Post rememdown on my knees so 1 was looking bered the difficult times when she her depression “Once again I was tryseason of her CBS comedy series my right in the eye I saw Hearts Afire “I was always worrying helped care for him during his lengthy ing to be good despite all my resent- that this made a big difference to her if I was giving them enough attention” convalescence ful undercurrents ' she said “I wanted and that we should ail get down to our "I knew how worried my parents to show my negative side but my Miss children’s eye level to see how the The actress had Kate now 6 and Daisy 3 in the midst of her were” Post said "so I made the deciPerfect didn't allow it” world looks from there" TV senes Night Court sion that I would be extra good and Post emerged from her season of Having children also has signifiShe then found herself doubting whethnot add to their burden But because I discontent after a period of unflinchcantly changed her own outlook Post also had resentments like any kid ing introspection 1 used to think there declared For all her delight in her cur er she was “a good enough mother" “Ail mothers who work outside the whose parents' attention is focused was this ugly soul hidden away” she rent role in Means Afire her children home go through this” she said "But elsewhere I figured I must be a very said “When I finally got down there remain passion “1 used to bad person deep inside” I had a real problem with being too and looked around I discovered it shrug off disappointments in my caThe ideal caused her to wasn't so bad And once I could hard on myself I suppose that was drop reer by saying Oh well it’s not the connected to my own childhood when perform almost too well "I was Miss the artifice of trying to be perfect I end of the world ' " she said “But that in high school” the could accept my dark side as part of was I decided that I had to be perfect " Goody just bravado Now as a mother I actress said with a laugh ‘1 was also human nature too I could finally slop really men it My daughters remind She was bom Marjorie Post on Nov H 4 1950 Along with her two brothers writing awful depressing poetry so I beating myself up all the time” me what really matters in life” of a full-tim- a all reassurances ran B B B B ld self-ima- long-runni- ng self-impos- Two-sho- es BY ELLEN H A W K E S |