| Show met the issue visitor how do you get around the gambling feature of this bucket shop that Is operating so openly in your town citizen we dont get around it at all we go right up against it new orleans times democrat thorough what do you tink of dis idea of compell ln de saloons to sell good liquore said meandering mike it s a great scheme answered plodding pete but dey ought to go a step burder an make em give it away poor old lady Is it true that you were very sea sick on the trip overa asked mrs goodart yes indeed replied the old lady why I 1 understand your daughter left a sure remedy in 5 our stateroom before the ship sailed no indeed there gasn wasn t bothin there but a bottle of something tor mal de mer an I 1 knew I 1 dian didn t have no foreign disease like that why he retracted allmore after all stedman isn t so bad a fellow he came to me man fashion and took back all the things he had said against my people burman did it voluntarily 7 kilmore practically that it Is true I 1 threatened to shoot him on sight if he retract but that was only a matter of detail boston transcript A quick witted lover what would you say asked the fond papa of the accepted suitor it I 1 were to give you a block of busl ness houses for a wedding present that it would be a mighty square thing to do said the suitor such bon may not count tor much in a social way but in this instance they brought down the houses not to him gifter a nice umbrella you ve got lifter yes it was a present gifter who gave it to youa lifter nobody gave it to me but it has an inscription on it showing that it was presented to john F jones whoever that is just wishing dragson tatters wat yer so quiet weary walker jest wish in I 1 had ter pay fur all de rides 1 ever took on de railroad dragson tatters weary walker an den 1 haan hadn t took em but had saved me money fur booze R indignation towne some mean rascal passed a bad dollar bill on me to day any body who would do that is the lowest kind of a crook browne yes you re out a dollar eh towne 0 I 1 guess not I 1 think I 1 II 11 be able to pass it off on some body else entertaining do ou expect to entertain ext ertain next winters well answered mr cumrow entertaining is what mother and the girls will call it but whenever I 1 say anything that seems to really amuse the company their harsh looks are something fearful untimely somnolence he says he has so many business troubles they keep him awake nights yes but they dont keep him wide awal e during business hours and that s his principal trouble parental people who have their children taken care of by nurses never know the real joys of parenthood maybe not but they don t lie awake at night worrying about it overheard at the stock yards you can t mal e a pure out of a pig s ear you know no replied the son of a wealthy pad er but I 1 1 now of a man who made a fortune out of bristles achl cago reemi d herald and there are others oldrich I 1 tell you sir the women are going to rule this country after while mie why I 1 thought ti fa appearance not in doubt applicant to matrimonial agent can t you show me the photograph of that lady with who wants to get married T Agen tWell with such a dowry as that you can imagine how she looks without a photograph at newport the bullions are having a little retiring room put in their new home close to the front entrance that for that s where the guests are to be searched before they leave the house AT PRESENT PRICES guest the steak I 1 ordered walter there it Is in frant ot you sir guest oh excuse me I 1 thought it was a crack in the plate looking for a cinch t tommy are you and bister ethel coln to get married mr why er what put mya such a question into your head tommy 0 bothin only billy daly wanted to bet me a nickel against a cent that the match d never come off and I 1 d like a little inside information puck A faint reminder the matter mr crabbe asked mrs starved the way you sip your soup and stare up at the cell ing in that far away manner it would seem it reminds you of something yes replied the sarcastic board er it reminds me of soup faintly Au tomania herbert has been running an auto so long that be had forgotten all about horseback riding what did he do when the horse he crawled under it to see what was the matter nothing to take back you said this horse wouldn t shy at anything ordinary I 1 did he jumped half way across the street yesterday when he saw my wife wella feminine diplomacy he 10 30 p m alss nellie 1 you would sing that dear old song backward turn backward 0 time in thy flight it Is a lar favorite of mine she I 1 would dearly love to favor you but I 1 m afraid singing would wake father suppose we compromise the matter by turning tho clock back an hour logical surmise bond mother and you think mr huggans objects to my presence in tho parlor when he calls T pretty daughter yes mamma fond mother why do you think so pretty daughter well I 1 have rea sons to believe that he loves me tor myself alone her point of view I 1 m afraid said the patient wife that yours will be the fate of abel why what do you mean my dear asked the astonished husband abel was killed by a club you know she replied and your club will be the death of you if you don t spend less time at it not just what he meant he I 1 believe congratulations ara in order pray accept mine she what tor hei beard you were engaged she you re late I 1 ve been mar fled tor two months to mr roller he oh I 1 beg pardon how stu pid im so sorry an exception there one satisfaction in being shot at in my own palace said the sultan of turkey grimly what Is that asked the grand vizier there Is no likelihood of my being called upon to apologize exchange A bad break nell mad at him why he wrote a lovely poem to her belle yes but she never read it when she saw the title of it she tore the whole thing up in a fit of anger you see he called it lines on ethels face he was real rude she yes this fortune teller claims to be able to read the past present and future from a lock of one s hair he in your case did she require past present and future shades of your hair overheard in the studio what a pretty girl complimented he photographer why you are iween enough to eat I 1 hanks responded the maiden with a deep blush and Is that the reason you are going to put me on a platea his previous engagement smithers we should like you to dine with us in three weeks from today blithers trying to lie out of lt 1 would be delighted to do it but I 1 must attend a funeral that day MUCH BETTER lie what do I 1 carea I 1 d kiss you right under your lather s nose X she what s the matter with mine s vocations t art gorga actors don t wort in and baseball players don 11 ft inter weary walter den I 1 m going to people I 1 m an actor in summer and a baseball player jn inter truth comes out v v jack dashing sarcastically of cowe ou have never been kissed be fore u dolly heretofore I 1 always dad the kissing myself s mistake the prison ator dear me how dreadful ou really think you are a victim ei the s wot but its me own fault fora not the Housebreakers 1 union lite proof positive mrs Wed deily george seems levelheaded sensible felloe my dear he s still a bachelor nothing left what hag become of diat baud a automobile he wore it away 1 wore it away yes every time he was arrested he put a notch in the machine f more appropriate la montt harker Is always brag ging he says in boston even the bathhouses are built of brownstone la moyne brownstone seems to me they should oe built of soapstone this Is awful he was enjoying an ear of corn in the good old fashioned way la 11 you look as if you were trying td play a flute she remarked oh I 1 don t know he rejoined it s more e a corn et somewhat different I 1 began life said the rich man by saving up pennies and when you end it rejoined the sarcastic your heirs will begin co blow in dollars toki i |
