Show HONEY AND TOP: Ihiri ( a writs HOW TO AVOID t Payday can mean trouble for the 14000000 families with more than one breadwinner— ' unless they revamp their bookkeeping By HEROLD C HUNT Ed D r 9 Like I some 14000000 other working in the US Sandra Johnson is part of that modern phenomenon known as the family dual-inco- me Sandra considers the wares from her secretarial job as “my money” In her mind the home pay of her husband Bob is “our money” With “her” money the Johnsons acquired a new car a few months afo to replace their 1957 model From the day it 'first appeared in their driveway Sandra referred to it as “my” car Bob’s resentment flared and friction soon developed When I last heard of them the Johnsons were talking out their problems with a marriage counselor Such money conflicts often may seem inevitable when both wife and husband are “bringing home the bacon” Today one out of every three married women works at a job outside the home They contribute an average of 20 percent of the family income Those who work full time bring in an average of 38 percent Here’s how social scientista See the pattern In the early years of married life a young wife may s work to help buy basic furniture and appliances or to ease the strain on the family budget She quits when babies arrive but later when the chil- dren are off to school may take a part-tim- e job to pay for their music lessons or dental bills In ' 4 Family Wtrkly January 17 1915 with Kenneth kogen ' middle age a woman may work for personal fulfillment but more often for specific goals: to get college tuition for a grown child to buy a summer cottage to build up a retirement fund famiHow do America’s 14000000 lies manage their double pay checks? Generally in one of two ways: the plan or famof ily pooling earnings It Is in the absence of an agreed-o- n practical plan or specific goals that trouble is apt to erupt If for instance each spouse pays a proportionate share of the phone bill this could become a bone of contention should the wife make too many calls to relatives Overemphssis on “my” and “your” money has led to what the head of a Spokane family agency calls “Dutch-tremarriages” An increasing number of wives he found were complaining that “my husband ' wants a business partner not a wife” mar- There is a tendency for such Dutch-trerelationship typiriages to encourage a loose-kn- it fied by mutual independence rather thain an intimate bond with reliance on each other It is not uncommon for separations and divorces to result under such circumstances Accustomed to being independent with “her” earnings a wife can leave her husband without much financial anxiety Separation of assets can be a divisive force with money used as munitions on the field of battle Many men resent the double bookkeeping and dual-inco- his-and-- long-distan- ce at at t Mill— if other tensions exist the issue can be blown up into a formidable obstacle to marital bliss The American Association of Marriage Counselors has found that Die dominating reason for divorce today is money rather than “the other woman” “Keeping individual accounts can arouse competitive feelings and money can be used in a valrous way” says' Edith Taittonen home economist at the Community Service Society of New York the largest family-sociagency in the nation “If the husband splurges on a new fishing rod the wife may counter with an expensive new dress With such a couple each evidently thinks more of his or her own needs than of the family’s “When this happens it indicates that something is drastically wrong with the marriage— an inability of the couple to see themselves as a unit or as partners” al " dual-incocoufles a more and usually more workable plan is to put all their earnings into one “pot” Primarily this promotes family solidarity Moreover with e plans pooled incomes they can make d The working wife who is truly should be aware that she is furthering the couple's higher standard of living no matter which bookkeeping system is used Purchases from her earnings should be deemed the “family car” or "family cottage” not solely “hers” Ft HawrS UriwnHy m4 Cfcdiww most long-rang- family-centere- tf Sn NHwd C— IM— hr MiwS — In F— Hy H— i |