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Show 10 THE CITIZEN Bom Dry And Moonshine (By S. P. Armstrong.) There is a goodly sprinkling of notorious bootleggers and moonshiners, unabashed, who need attention, and with whom the purity squads might helpfully spend a part of (heir precious time But they content themselves hunting tamer game. For ways that are dark and tricks that are vain the heathen Chinee is peculiar; and there are some others. Like the Kentucky Congressman, we want to know where we are at. The twin sisters, Miss Bone Dry and Miss Moonshine, are visiting their grandpa, Mr. Dry Bones. Miss Bone Drykicks..upmoreHelLthan Miss-Moonshi- The other day Mr. Dry Bones wheedled one of our swaggering Sher-lock- s into making what appears to be a false affidavit, on which he obtained a John Doe search warrant from a magistrate to search the dwelling of a and substantial citizen. The affidavit states as follows: That there is probable cause to believe, and that he does verily believe that in the premises occupied by and in possession of John Doe, there is being kept and possessed by John Doe, moonshine intoxicating liquors, whiskey, which has been ,and is being used in violating Title II of the National Prohibition Act, and that manufactured and sold, John Doe to one known to affiant to be a creditable and trustworthy person who has told affiant the particulars of such sale, but whose name cannot be t, Stated, certain intoxicating liquor, tax-payin- g, law-abidin- g to-wi- t, sions and swearing to false affidavits. All that the chumps had to do to get the facts, was to inquire of a neighbor, or pick up the phone, call central, and learn the name of their John Doe, The claim of danger of a tip-oto a moonshiner is the bunk. They must fool the magistrate, or get no warff rant. Sherlocks should have some brains. With brains surcharged and befuddled with moonshine, boliunks are dangerous appliances, when turned loose, unguarded, on a decent public. We dont look for much from our municipal but we expect more from four-flusher- s,' ne. Tlie excuse now offered is that one of the race that created mythological gods, and begat Plato, was the creditable and trustworthy person that gave them the bum steer. These sires of greatness are smart fellows. They outwit our would-b- e detectives. They have us skinned a city block. Our sleuths might give better service in trying to wash dishes in a sloppy hash house. The magistrate is more or less absolved. It is a marked case of misplaced confidence too much faith in Strange gods. The affidavit, at first glance, seems to be positive; not on inforamtion and belief. The Federal agents apparently sidestepped to circumvent the Constitution. They made an innocent looking affidavit that might fool any unsuspecting magistrate, who did not know its sponsors. They were government officers. Their office viseed their standing. Next time he will not be caught napping. Affiant further whiskey. The magistrate was at fault for givdeabove says: That the premises ing out a John Doe warrant. Such in the scribed have the reputation, dereliction ought to be, but is not, a a of of Salt place Lake, being crime. Nevertheless, the warrant was city are being where intoxicating liquors void, on its face, and in no way justiof violation sold and in manufactured fied the five bulls in entering or law. searching the premises. It is worthy of notice that the deAll law respecting courts of the nainto his affidavit, squirts ponent, by tion so hold, since the Fourth Amendown his the of magistrate the veins s ment was adopted, of a deterand notion of probable cause, century ago. In fact, to avert the the for the for necessity him, mines, abuse by England and colonies in iswarrant He avers positively that the suing John Doe warrants, and warpremises have the reputation of manu- rants on affidavits made on informafacturing and selling intoxicating tion and belief, was the divine purliquor, and that he is informed and pose that impelled the staunch Virverily believes that there is probable ginians to insist on the Fourth Amendcause to believe, and that he does ment to the Constitution, which, in believe that this John Doe manufacsubstance, has been adopted by nearly tured and sold intoxicating liquors. all the states of the Union. Federal agents now say that they were It appears from statements in the misinformed by a bootlegger. If they public press that the entry and search verily believed such uncorroborated were unreasonable; even at the hands con, they are a heap more gullible than of the Bolsheviki armed with a valid Baraum's unsalted suckers. They warrant, and measured by the Bolshehonor a bootlegger as their voucher vist standard. for reputation. Another notable Instance of unlawthe fooled by If we are not pitilessly ful entry and search is the search, by forward now put dubious explanations the sheriff, of the rooms occupied by as excuse for the affidavit, it looks guests in a select hotel of the city; like it dangerously verges on perjury, for which audacity he apologized. unadulterated. Giving it the benefit There are many other instances averments the of all reasonable doubt, where similar tactics have been emof the affidavit ,as Mark Twain reployed, but where the victims have marked on reading the published nosuffered in silence, through false modexaggerare his tice of greatly death, esty and dread of notoriety. Folks blunthe for excuse ated. There is no are cuffed and kicked around like the der no excuse for Jumping at conclu Missouri yaller lioun, even in the night time, under the guise of spurious warrants; and sometimes with no excuse other than the tin badge of an officer, flashed, in lieu of a warrant, to cow the Innocents. The gang generally put It over and get away when dealing with a poor woman doing her best, by hard work, to earn her living by furnishing lodgings; and often they entice her to sell to them several drinks of moonshine, to asuage their great and unquenchable thirsts; and then, out of their knavery, they stir up a great stink, in order to hold their faces good for future pay. They pounce upon the defenseless woman like a sassy cat on a cur dogs back, scare her nigh unto death, handcuff and drag her to Jail; not to a magis- trate, as the law requires. They hold the Philistian phantasy that the end justifies the means, a doctrine that finds no lodgment in the archives of American courts. Rights should not be wiped out or frittered away under the guise of enforcing epigastral legislation. Probably these avenging are angels financially irresponsible; and no one else is liable in damages for their acts, no matter how rude and unlawful. In spite of the keenness of these agents in trapping women, they cant track an elephant in four feet of fresh snow; but the downtrodden taxpayers must supply them with meal tickets. The Federal bunch see that they spilled the beans, at expense of the cause, and that they are in bad. They are doing penance, and now apologize high-hande- d to the victims, much abused by theii lack of common decency. They hop( to escape further penalty and to be alone in Uncle Sams pie kitchen 1 Their fat feeding benumbs their sen2 of propriety in dealing with humanity Cheap apology is poor consolation, anj does not square the score, pu squads ought not to be permitted t continue this sort of nuisance. Th older they grow, the worse they ge A people have not been so afflicte with angelesque reformers, since th Lord plagued Pharaoh and his hous with great plagues. When the U. S. Attorney finds tim dragging .heavily on his hands, h might give this reproach on civilize government-hi- s profound attentioi to brook, an bring these rough-rider- s give them a chance to sling their proi igal apologies at the court. The powers that be ought to call down these pseudo investigators, and announce the facts without whitewash The pilot should step on the emeiv gency brake. The nuisance ought to be abated. j Howbeit, the higher-up- s may not rid us of the plague. They seem o- with tlie timeworn bon-mthat it takes a thief to catch a thiefj and that the hair of the dog heals its bite. Maybe appearances deceive j and that we should not accuse these agents of much detective sagacityj Probably they are not guilty. 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