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Show OBSERVATION PLANE (Continued from Page 9.) ribs and laugh, and laugh and then out of their chairs in merriment. fall ' r, Dut 'Slhce they insist that all of us - shall .expire with laughing at the bungalow man we refuse even to grin. Truth to tell, we do not think the jest will rank the president with Mark Twain. In fact we can just picture Mark Twain racing through the golden thoroughfares to escape some wight who wants to tell him about Mr. Wilsons bungalow, man, a man who has no upper story, ha! ha! har! Those are the kind of jokes the professors over Princeton way invent. And that is why the students carefully exclude all professorial jokes from the funny papers. They dont want jokes without upper stories. They dont want a bungalow that is a flat. . Perhaps we expect too much of our presidents, but we certainly expect them to' be funny when they joke. We dont want them to spring - a' joke that turns out to f be a solemn,..refer- If they, feel that kind of a endum. . , - - , joke coming on they ought to think About the senate or anything else unpleasant so as to be able to resist the temptation of bursting into jest. .. The president : need not .think that he. can go on a vaudeville circuit with a bagful of bungalow; jokes. Besides, the people voted that he stay at home and if he is going to take - . i Heres all thats flue to you! Wiled by the impudent grace of your Books and old wine to you! Girls be divine to you, plea Then your vivacity and pertinacity Carry the day with the devils audacity; No mere veracity robs your sagacity Of perspicacity, Barney. McGee! When all is new to them, What will you do to them? Who shall decree.? Heres .a fair strife to you! Health and long life to you! And a great wife to you, Barney Barney McGee! Lucky the day when I met you unwittingly, Dining where vagabonds came and went flittingly. Heres some Barbera to drink it be-fitting- Silvios, Barney McGee! That day at Manys the time we have quaffed our Chianti there, Listened to Silvio quoting us Dante there Once more to drink Nebiolo spumante there, How7 wed pitch Pommery into the sea! There where the gang of us Met ere Rome rang of us, They had the hang of us . To a degree. How they would trust to you! That was but just to you Heres oer their dust to you, . the country by its left ear and chortle bungalow jokes into it the people will make the vote unanimous. When it comes to furnishing laughs the bungalow7 is empty. The one president who really knew how to make a joke that exploded into genuine laughter was Lincoln. Even Roosevelt was better at epithet than jokes. But well say this for President Wilson he is just as funny as George Washington. Will-o-the-wis- p, in you, and all of his pluck Wild as a bull-puin you Let a man tread on your coat and hell ' see! Eyes like the lakes of Killamey for p, . clarity, Nose that turns up without any vulgarity. Smile like a cheurb, and hair that is .. Frouder than Aragon Hardly a paragon. You will agree . Barney McGee, youre the pick of gentility; Nothing can place you, youve such a facility; Nobody ever yet found your utility There is the charm' of you, Barney McGee; to be Every eye there like a spoke in you centering, Ycu with your eloquence, blarney, and bantering .11 Vaganbondia shouts at your tering, of the Tenderloin, Barney King enMc- Gee! Theres no satiety In your society With the Variety Of your spirit. Heres a long purse to you, And a great thirst to you! Fate be no worse to you, When he stopped me tantrum. Never mind the make Judge. r Paw- nee. In your meanderin. Love and philanderin, Calm as a mandarin Sipping his tea! Under the art of you, Part and parcel of you, Heres to tht heart of you, Barney McGee! You who were ever alert to befreind a man, You who were ever the first to defend a man, You who had always the money to lend a man, Down on his luck and hard up for a itude (And a quare sight you will be in that attitude) Some day, where gratitude seems but a platitude. Youll find your latitude, Barney Mc- you deracinate, Whirl and bewilder and flutter and fascinate! Faith, its so killing you are, you assassinate Murders the word for you, Barney theyre sunny, and smooth when theyre showery Barney .. Oh, but the style of you, fluent Thats no flim-fla- m at all, Frivol or sham at all, Just the plain Damn it all, Have one with me! Heres one and more to you! Friends by the score to you. True to the core of you, Richard Hovey. Barney McGee! Chesterfields way, with a touch of the Bowery! How would they silence you, Barney machree Naught can your gab allay. Learned as Rabelais (You in his abbey lay Once on the spree). Heres to the smile of you, (Oh, but tlie guile of you!) And a long while of you, Barney McGee! Facile with phrases of length and Latinity, Like honorificabilitudinity, Where is the maid who could resist " your vicinity. :Bd , , And clowns who caper In sawdmH And common people, like you Are workers for eternity! i : i l W i Each is given a bag of tools, !T A shapeless mass and a book of G And each must make, ere lfeyril flown, i A stumbling .block or a stepping t SAD THOUGHT. Im in doubt about the wisdt IllOi arresting the food profiteers. Why? I should think youd them punished. It may be all right to punish but as a consumer Im afraid 6 raise prices again to get mow;'. pay their fines. Detroit Free ft A t int LOVE-LOGI- C. wif dll Gwendolyn, I love you; Toy; you love me: ( ' . 1. I love you. 2. All the world loves a loir 3. But I am a lover. . 4. Therefore, all the world 1 me. , ' You are all the world to t 66. Therefore, you love me." 5. APPRECIATIVE. Bu co lie the How wonderful it is to see sink down to rest upon the sea!. Yes, isnt it? A fellow could- - here and watch it all night. aj HARD BOILED. Then you. have no sympathy the deserving poor? asked the: who was collecting for charity. Me? replied the rich man. sir, I have nothing but sympathy them. HEALTHY. HEROIC METHODS. I and flowery! M Isnt it strange that princes an Sure, youll be playing a harp in beat- hearts of tiCaK Bbw t Gee. Och, and the girls whose poor ;bs - V! Barney McGee.!. I LIFE AND WORK. conditions that others would stammer in, Still unperturbed as a cat or a Cam- .Putting the glamour on Prince or . . Under eron. Barney McGee, when youre sober you scintillate, But when youre in drink youre the pride of the intellect; Divil a one of us ever came in till late, Once at the bar where you happened ' used guage. Bold when Barney McGee, theres no end of good luck in you. with a flicker of Puck Whoop, youre a rarity, McGee! Melow as Tarragon, MpGee! Polished as somebody in the Decam- McGee! BARNEY McGEE ;carpty ' The officer says you . eron, : Barney McGee! - , . . A POPULAR MAKE. Reginald once in a mood of choler Thrust his head under a traction-rolleThe neighbors were strangely surprised to find IIow the mishap had broadened Regr. gies mind. The American Legion Weekly. TO THE LAST. ABSENT-MINDE- D The celebrated professor died and his coffin was laid out in the churchyard. But in the night he. forgot that he was dead, got up and went home. Karikaturen (Christiania). Now give an example of how cir- cumstances alter cases. Milwaukee isnt famous any more. It is healthy to breathe thre your nose, Isnt It? remarked the I Fogy. Yes, replied the Grouch. breath cant talk when you are through your nose. quirer. Cincinnati THAT PROF. JOKE Absent-minde- his son) I AGAIN. Professor d Hello, George, hows? father? Drug Clerk How was that bottle of perfumery, Mrs. BDnk? Mrs. Best I ever drank. ton Tiger. |