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Show THE CITIZEN 8 llliaMHMMHSMHMaiNIIISMIlliaaaHIIIHiHIIIIAaUUMAIIWaBIIINUHIIUIIIiaUIIUIUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHIIIIIIUIIIIIIIIIIIIIUUIIIIIUUIIIIIIIIIftUlUillUIIUlinnilllllllllll OBSERVATION PLANE I MMMM.mM..um....um.M.lUIIIIIIHIIIIIIIIUIIIIIIIIIIHIIIIHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIUHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIUIIUIIIIIIHIIIUIIIIIIIIIIIHIUll Story Of Gambrinus And Mr. Cox cuet. Off he went to the tabernacle speech and left his train to the mercies of the switching crew and some bibulous servants. Now it befell that certain members of the switching crew ran across a bottle of inspired grapejuice. And another member ran across another, and Sing, O Gambrinus, the fate of Candidate Cox and his special train! Sing of the booze, aboard and the railway minions who imbibed too abundantly! Sing of the bonehead play of the local welcomers and of the other disasters so on and on. At the third on all beson of Ohio! gan to feel merry and even reckless. that befell the We began this epic in true classical What did they care" for switches? A form for the important reason that switch vras on more to them than a rail and a rail no more than a road. every story should have an introduction befitting its dignity. Wow! Some weeks ago we hinted at the The time came wThen it was necesspirituous condition of that other spe- sary for a northbound train to go out. cial train which came from out Ohio The merry switchers took it in charge and wrent to the golden gate and the arid decided that they ought to play a Democratic convention. We hinted that game of ninepins with it. They sent it the train sprang a leak while in Salt bowling against the nominees train Lake and irrigated several square with a gigantic, an Olympian jolt. acres of parched humanity. Crash went the crockery and the cork-- ' But the coming of the first train was ery. The black servitor of the nombut as sunshine unto moonshine and inees car and several other Afric genas water unto wine, as compared with tlemen were catapulted promiscuously the coming of the presidential candagainst the interior decorations. Here the Muse must pause for idates own special train. But let us sing first of the laughable breath, but not necessarily a strong laxities of the local committee. breath. And having recovered our breath, let With Jeffersonian simplicity the Democratic candidate marched with us forestall criticism by saying that we his supporters in a parade which may have used a few details that faultpassed through our main streets amid finders may carp at. But we don't care for a carp. the thunders of silence. Of course, Jefferson, in his simplicIf anyone doubts our facts, however, ity, was accustomed to ride a horse, we challenge them to consult those which he tied with his own hands in who know among the railroad men and front of the executive mansion or the others. war board Booze, as Mr. Cox has said so trencapitol or the dollar-a-yea- r or in front of wherever he happened to chantly, may be as dead as Slavery, be. In our day that would be insolent but its spirit is with, us still. aristocracy and so Democratic candidates parade afoot. Deport King Say After the parade the nominee was a fleet-witte- d i bit hungry. It approached that witching hour when the appetite or a candidate begins to dream of succulent steaks and a piece of pie. But the heads may we not say, the boneheads of the reception committee, or whatever committee it was that planned the sad affair for the candidate, forgot that a nominee needs nourishment. , In all our fair city of magnitudlnous hospitality no place was found to dine the nominee. Therefore, he returned to the special train which is, at all times, supplied with meat j and drink, especially the latter. While the son of Ohio was dining the switching crew yanked his train a few leagues out into the north yards. Here, after some search, the local committee found him and effected a rescue. Off he went to the tabernacle v tirely political. It expresses the desire of the members to keep King out of the campaign. Their theory is that he MiniaiininmiiimHiitmiai Every Dollar Paid For Insurance in ' can do nothing but harm to the Democratic ticket. It is not improbable, therefore, that Chairman Mulliner may be asked to enlist the senators services elsewhere. Viewed from the standpoint of the Kill King Tong the junior senator is wholly out of harmony with the Utah The Guardian Fire Insurance Company of Utah Democracy. They point out that the Democrats of Utah are for the League of Nations covenant without the dotting of an i or the crossing of a t, whereas Senator King is a radical He supported the reservationist. Lodge reservations which the Utah Democrats, employing the language of the president, describe as annihilating. How can Senator King consistently support Mr. Welling, they ask. Well-- iMiitii wtimiiiiniiiitiiiiMHWiiHiinn Stays In Utah The Agency Company Managers 30 West Broadway SALT LAKE CITY. UTAH ' tlimiimilHtltiMIIHHMtWHIllllHimUtllllUIIIUHIIIIIIUIIIllfinilllHJIlllllllllIHUI ing goes about preaching that the covenant is sacred and must not be modi- Senator King probably will, not take the same position in Utah that he took in Washington, but his position fied. is known and his very presence on Visit say his critics, will emphasize the differences between him and Mr. Welling and give all the apthe stump , pearance of divided counsels. Coty Our Shop Its New The Powder Puff 22 East Broadway IfiL Our Hats Are Not Merely Head Coverings Foes Of Senator The political club which we have sometimes alluded to familiarly as the Kill King Tong has been adding new members and is planning to enter the preesnt campaign. Originally It was intended to keep out of this campaign and limit the clubs work to organiza-tioduring the next two years so as n to be ready to fight Senator King when he seeks renomination. The return of the senator to Utah and the announce- They posses character and betoken the good taste of the wearer. Discriminatory dressers recognize and appreciate the sterling qualities as typical of all our headwear. Wear a Stetson or a Mallory and youll be right. ment of his speechmaking itinerary has somewhat modified the clubs program. Many of the members are urging that the club make its influence felt in the campaign. Their slogan is Deport Of course the allusion is en King. 156-15- 8 SOUTH MAIN STREET I |