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Show THE CITI 9 J. SPICE RUM'S SEVEN CARDINAL VIRTUES it promoted the play instinct. It made healthy people sick thereby inculcating the value of health. It filled the Jails Sunday morning thereby saving thousands from the the unhappy doctor. Oh, doctor they cried, tend the sick, but leave the: well alone. Jack told' me I was queen of his Well? I asked him where the crown els were. Boston Tamscript. . i 36 State Agents W. 2nd S., Salt Lake City said Hawkins, who had purchased some old silver at auction, this is the old Hawkins family plate." Indeed," said his guest; but surely this is an 'A' engraved on it. Is it? of course. The original Hawkinses were English, you know. Boston Transcript. Yes, honest methods of one type of business man, once said, with a smile: It all brings back to me a dialogue I once heard in a southern school. 'Children said the teacher, be diligent and steadfast, and you will succeed. Take the case of George Washington, whose birthday we are so soon to celebrate. Do you remember my telling you of the great difficulty George Washington had to contend with?' Yes, ma'am said a little boy. 'He couldnt tell a lie'. San Francisco UTAH TYPEWRITER EX. CO. . Sillilllllllllllllllllllllliilillllllllllliillllllliiliiliilllliilllliilillm Oh-er-ye- s, ? I BINGHAM GARFIELD RAILWAY Dobbs Time must hang heavily on your hands. Nobbs Why? Dobbs Well, you wear such a large f BINGHAM I j S PASSENGER TRAIN SCHEDULE s NOW IN EFFECT z 07o. s No. s No. No. " as affi e 5 s Leave Salt Lake City 8.65 a. m. 2:15 p.m. Ill Arrive Bingham 8:25a.m. 109 109 Ill No. 110 No. 112 ............... ............... Leave Bingham ............... ............... 8 :S5 p. m. 8 .45 4 .00 a. m. p. m. Arrive Salt Lake City a No. 110 a No. 112 10:05 be- tween a prophet and a profiteer? No, Sam. Well, when a prophet says de world was goin to end last Thursday he didnt know what he at lunch-tim- e Lady Candidate for Parliament I am now ready to answer any questions. Lady Voter Where did you get that ripping hat? Le Eire. ONE SATISFACTION. What do you think of the two candidates? Well, the more I think of it the more pleased I am that only one of them can be elected. Michigan I H. W. STOUTENBOROUGH, Assist. General Passenger Agent, 1207 Deseret Bank Bldg. Phone Was. 140 ' 1 Salt Lake City, Utah' i . B KiiBiiiiiiiisiisiisiistisiiaiiBiisiiaiiaiisiiaiiaiisiisiiiiisiisiinisnsifk I I Build Your Income 1 This bank is your counsellor an Institution which will take 5 a personal interest in your wel- E fare, beyond the mere legal 5 guarding of your money. It E seeks your bank account and E your success. The sum you entrust to its E keeping may be small at first E but following its advice you can increase it. Interest is a won-derful aid to incomes surpris- E ing to many. of the S E: ' Main and 2nd South Street SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH FOLLYDOLS at lheNEWHOU8E The Brightest Spot in Town Dine, Dance and Enjoy a Clever Show be-liv- e, out CLEAN, WHOLESOME LIVELY ENTERTAINMENT The Follydols appear under the direction of Mr. Grover Frankie, dinner, 6:80 to 9, and during after-theatsupper, from 10:15 to 12:30, on week nights. During dinner, 6 to 9, on Sundays. Tea, 4 to 6, Thursday and Saturday afternoons. DANCING for GUESTS re OUT OF TUNE. A good stody told by Major Regan, veteran bandmaster of the British army, concerns a music-hamanager of the old school who once entered the place during a band rehearsal. Soft music was being played, and, the trombone player was not required. Why aint that chap demanded the manager. playing? EVERYONE TO HIS TRADE. Well, they are playing pizzicato, you was the explanation volunsee, A doctor out at Murray fell in a. teered. I don't care a hang what well the other night, returning home they're playing, roared the irate one. late from what we suppose was a proTell him if he can not play pizzicato fessional call. or any other dashed tune that is put The splash he made aroused the in front of him hes to get out of my neighborhood, for he is rather a big, band." E E E E E E s E E S EiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiE EVIDENTLY HE LOST. : E Republic! See and Hear the He: And did you see Monte Carlo whilst you were at Nice? She: No; papa called on him, I but from his disappointed appearance when he returned to the hotel I think Mr. Carlo must have been E The National Bank s. Busy Housewife: 6:10 p.m. ' St, 8alt Lake City 1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 . was talkin about, but when a profiteer says soap, sugar, an shoes will be higher next week he knows what hes talkin about. New York World. INEVITABLE QUESTION. a.m. Tit-Bit- Well, what do you want speak quick! An automobile, a Hngry Hobo: flyin machine, a rich wife, a brand new fliver, a steam yacht, private car, valet, and a ham sandwich with a cup o coffee. Pittsburgh Press. . Where Copper Is King" .335 Main THAT'S ALL. AND The Scenic Line to London wrist-watch- ." A LARGE DIFFERENCE. Say, Bill, you know de diffunce Wasatch 4010 HEAVY TIME. Argonaut i Jew- QUICK THINKING. A certain senator, deploring the dis- i - Jieart- GEORGE'S HANDICAP. COMPARE THE WORK If you do that you will choose the ROYAL Liberty Bonds Bought HE STARTED SOMETHING. g. 'lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllltillllllllllllllllllllllllll Mining and Industrial 8tocks and Bonds . movie mania. It wrecked homes in that way hastening the happiness of those pily wedded. It caused the tongue to wag thereby promoting truth-tellinIt kept late hours thereby curing insomnia. It gave some men Dutch courage which is better than none. Benjamin De Casseres in the New York Evening Sun. H. W. Lane SEBREE & LANE fat doctor. He shouted lustily to be rescued, but the well was deep and his cries were thin and attenuated when he reached the top Help! Help!" Just like that But the merry Murrayites Jeered It interfered with work therefore R. 8ebree ll AETNA Service Supreme Ed D. Smith and Sons General Agents Was. 4000 .38 W. 2nd So. St. |