OCR Text |
Show TRUTH R. L. POLK & CO.. P. COOPER., Secretary and Manager. W. DIRECTORY PUBLISHERS Utah foil ud Gftztttter Salt Lakt City Ofdei City Logu Bminew Directory. ' Directory. Directory. City and Cache Co. me-think- Directory. Prere City and Utah Co. Directory. Sait. Lake City Bine Book. hello Citj Directory! Colorado Snrhgi City Directory. Trinidad City & Lai inimai Co. Directory. Beta Co. Directory Grand Jnnetion City Salida City Boiie City A Pocatello Chaffee Co. Directory. Ida Co. Directory. City A Bannock rT'J Co. Directory. li and twenty-on- e men In the senate who have taken oaths in fool societies now seriously investigating a fool church that has a fool secret society annex mice and microbes, heigh-ho- ! and a dead mans chest! The Smooters stand ready to show that there were more varieties in congress, pro rata, than there were polygamists in the Mormon church; also that the District of Columbia, which is governed by congress, contains ten times the disorder that exists in Salt Lake City. The hatred of Utah, is largely erratic, erotic, emotional and fanatical; if it were an honest and genuine desire to repress . s, evil, the W. C. T. U.. and Y. M. C. A. would center their efforts on Washington, Chicago and New York, and let Salt Lake City go until these centers of vice were cleansed. If polygamy is bad, as it surely is, what shall we say of promiscuity, and varietists who investigate and expel polygamists? The polygamist is true to his own, but the varietist is false 7 Kentucky and Missouri said the joke had gene far enough. A United States senator from an eastern state told me that as a man a clean, modest, unpretentious, Intelligent, manly man Reed Smoot hasnt a dozen peers in the senate. Smoot is a man with nothing to hide. To investigate the private character of every member of congress, as Smoots has been investigated, would smirch, smudge and smut the entire fabric of Washington society, and blow the very dome off the capitol. Smoot wont smirch Washington society, but if he remains in Washington, Smoot will soon bo smut. And out of the scrimmage only one man looms large on the horizon thd Hon. William Alden Smith, who said, This investigation of personal character is a bad thing I am opposed to all such dangerous precedents. I say, open that window! o Interest-BearinSecurities, to everybody and everything, himself six per cent, compounded Yielding General Offices and Library, included. a make an ideal Invest, twice year, And what shall we say of the moDooly Building. can ment. be procured from Me k TeL rality of all these good people whose Gurrin They & Co., Investment bankers, virtue consists in the relationship of Salt Lake City. The Investor holds Salt Lake City. the incompatible! Will these hear public investiga- the security. We odo the work. Bmnchee nt Ogden, Boles, Colorado Springe and Pueblo, tion? Fatal Ride on Pig. I think not William Alden Smith While riding a pig around a yard is right beware of dangerous precea dents. and when of how and It is sad day for the investi- in Paris, a young butcher named La tell their tales to when as and he gets investigated. The gire fell off, fracturing his skull and times details with gator where, we thing persecute is the thing we dislocating his ankle. places. o are. window! the Here, you, please open citiTo the Worlds Fair without change But worse and worse, certain Stop that Smoot smudge! Senators from New York, Illinois, via the Burlington. zens of Utah had raised a sum of sixty-fiv- e thousand dollars and placed this money in the hands of the Pinkerton detective agency, and for five months the sleuths had followed twenty-seven United States senators by night and day, and made minute records of all their doings and actions. While the Weather Man says that we are going to have a "Hot Time," If the United States senate can inveswe want to tell you that there Is a breezy feeling about our Summer tigate one of its members and all of his Clothing that suggests "down the river," or up the Beach. Solid comneighbors, it cannot refuse to allow fort. Our Summer Suits, Straw Hats and Furnishings were never so one of its members to investigate attractive as now. Como see. ether members. God help us did you hear me? Open that window, I say! ROWE & KELLY CO. ONE PRICE PLAIN FIGURES What if .they should lift the roofs MAIN STREET 132 and off the houses in Washington look in? Chills of fear, fevers of dread, cold feet, clammy hands, bad breath! Eloquent tongues, coated like the bottom of a parrots cage, cried, Stop that Smoot investigation! They will To St. Louis and Chicago be taking the cover off the Chamber of Commerce next! Pick the recreants and rogues in and Return any denomination from Catholic to Universalist and you can prove the thing rotten. God help us! Should ycu successfully demand VIA the secrets of the Endowment House, you can also command that the secrets of the confessional he printed in If what the Congressional Record. is done in executive session by the Saints be apostles of the Latter-da- y public property, then no meeting of a railroad board is safe. Air more air1 or drink, give us a drink! And what will become of the Masons when Hiram A. Biff is summoned to give the secrets of their To St. Louis and $42.50 lodges, where they have sworn, not to To Chicago and 47.50 write, print, stamp, stain, cut, carve, aforesecrets nor the mark, engrave To Chicago and via St. Louis 50.00 said on anything high cr low, great To St. Louis and via Chicago 50.00 or small, movable or immovable, capable of receiving the slightest Impression whatsoever, binding themOn sale Tuesday and Friday of each week. selves under no less a penalty than Tickets good for stop overs. having their bodies severed in twain, their bowels taken thence and scatThrough Pullman and tourist sleepers to St. tered to the four winds of heaven that Louis without change. no vestige may remain of so foul a Wretch as they who betray the se? crets of the onery ory ickery Ann, ill osy, folosy Nicholas John queer quavy, stinkem, stankem, stilo, buck; ono, two, three, loot, scoot out goes 70 WEST SECOND SOUTH. gE'OI. 'll1 1 L V. 1. g BOd-- Your Ear a Moment . : tlElP RITES . return return return return R. F. NESLEN, Genl. Agent, Smoot! Rats and mice, rodents and microbes! ... Bg HEATH AND THE TRIBUNE. The retirement of Perry S. Heath as manager of tho Tribune and the accession of Joseph Lippman to the position has not yet taken place, but it may be expected any day. Senator Kearns gives it out that the change has not been fuliy settled upon, that it is necessary to have the consent of the eastern stockholders of the Tribune before a change in management can bo made. It will be news to most people that there are any eastern stockholders in the paper, and we are not told who they are. Their names, however, may be Neely, Rath-bonMachen and other close friends of Perry, at one time connected with the postolllce. There may, however, be some real difficulty in getting rid of Perry. Perry may, in fact, it is said he does, object to being a scape goat sent to wander in the wilderness in expiation of the political sins of Senator Kearns. Perry owns some stock in the paper, which, it is said, he paid for by giving his note of hand, and Perry is in a position to make trouble for Kearns, tho majority stockholder, if he is so minded, and It is said he will be so minded unless Tom buys him out at a good figure. We don't think Perry has been fairly treated in this matter. He didnt Know he was scheduled to step out until the fact was published. It was a little scheme put up by Tom and a few of his friends. The programme is that Perry is to be fired. The very unpopular policy of the paper during the past two years, will be blamed on Perry. Tom will declare that Perry had a controlling interest in the sheet, that he (Kearns) remonstrated, plead-- , cd, begged, threatened and used all his untiring efforts to make Perry adopt another policy, but without avail. Finally his love for the people of Utah, particularly the Mormons, entirely overcame him, and at great expense he bought Perrys interest in the sheet and henceforth will conduct a real Republican paper and give everybody a square deal. He will tell how strongly he abhorred the past policy of the Tribune, notwithstanding that it was boosting him all the time and in some degree at least giving the people of Utah an idea of how great a man and how superb a statesman he is. He will tell us that If he could have had his way the Tribune would have been even more than Truth, but alas! Perry so was obstinate. When the change does take place and until after the next senatorial election, the Tribune will be a strictly Mormon organ. The Deseret News wont be in It. The Mormons will again be the fine, people they were before the president of the church refused to interfere in politics on behalf of Tom and Perry. Of course if Tom is not reelected senator they will again become as great scoundrels as they have been, according to the Tribune, for two years. Brother Lippman and Brother Kearns will wear endowment robes till about the middle of January. After that there is great danger they will aDostatize. The Gentiles, such as Messrs. Salisbury, Zane, James, Benner Smith, and many more who were so wicked that they opposed St. Kearns will be, if possible, placated at legist to the extent that their names will be allowed to appear in the columns of the paper without being roasted. Harmony, harmony, harmony. will be the watchword. Harmony. of course, means the reelec-tio- n of Kearns. Without that there can be no harmony. . e, anti-Kear- ns law-abidi- ng |