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Show V Pointed Paragraphs. The pill of adversity is never euqarcoated. Woman is a fair sample of divine contradictions. It is said that is a sure cure for pomposity. Truth never dodges, no matter who throws mud at it. A cynical bachelor says that woman is an agreeable blunder of WhaTShe Wanted. "Is there anything yon want? botcher of the little with soulful eyes and fawngirl like air. asked the "Oh, yes, Bir, lisped the little angel timidly. "I want a sealskin sacque, and a di'mond ring, aud a trotting horse, and a Bteam yacht, and a foreign nobleman, and a pug dog, and a biown stone bonse, and a box at the opery, and lota of other things; but all ma wants is ,natu. A good thing ceases to be a good ten cents worth of bologna sauthing when we get tco much of it. sage for dinner, and wont yon There is no fool like an old fool please trust her for it till Saturday who tries to act like a young fool. night? Judge. Irish philosopher says its a wise man who has his afterthoughts Flatters Himself to the End. first. Jones What is Newlywed Satan invariably smiles when a Bigghedd looking so glum about?" woman falls in love with the wrong 8mith Why, the Gypey forman. tune teller just told his' wife that The man who wounda with a she would have two husbauds, and word is unnsally too cowardly to that the second one would be a strike a blow. very fine sort of man. Jones "Ha, ha! And Bigghed Some men never do a charitable that is a reflection on him, thinks act unless there is some one around I suppose?" to appland. Oh, no! He thinks his wife Time is money, so it is said, and muBt have been married before, yet lots of fools throw away money and never told him. ruck. to kill time. Some men owe their success to Submarine Fashions. acting contrary to the advice of I've found a beautiful coral their frieudB. cave, said the mermaid enthusiAu old bachelor says the We're going to move, ence between firmness and obsti- astically, come and see ns. must and you nacy is merely a matter of sex. "Of course, 1U come and see Although a man and wife are But you know, dear, that looked upon as one, some wives you. coral caves arent What they used consider their husbands very small to be. Everybody down here who fractions. amounts to anything has a SpanSome girls who profess to be ish ship to live in. Detroit Free highly educated have merely been Press. immersed in s weak eolation of accomplishments. ' His Narrow Esoape. The average woman actually believes that if she had been in Eves "Have yon anything to say bewould be the still Adam fore the sentence of the court is place head gardner of Eden. carried out?, asked the hangman. Yes, air, replied the condemnTrying to quiet a womans wrath ed. "I am a populist, and I would is a good deal like sitting down on a bunch of lighted firecrackers to like to make a few remarks to my fellow-citizebefore I die. to prevent their going off. then And they knew they could to A man who" is married He would talk him. ever hang a handsome woman with a disforever. on Philadelphia agreeable temper says she is a thing of beauty aud a jaw forever. sea-sickn- ess ns North-Americ- au. Uncertainty. the Programme. "Id like to know, remarked "That boy of mine will be the "1 really death of me some day, complain- the czar thoughtfully; would. I wish there was some ed the fond father. "We went ont in the country way of finding out last month to visit my wifes aunt, "Of finding out what, your and, of course, we had to take the boy along. Whether France is any more "There was a small pond near in earnest when it talks war than the house that my boy managed I was whem I talked peace. to extract a good deal of enjoyment Washington Star. from. It wbS not more than three feet deep, so I did not feel uneasy Many a household Is saddened by when he poled the rickety old boat death because of ths failure to keep on that was on the pond, ent m the hand a safe and absolutely certain middle, and fought a fierce naval cure for croup such as One Minute Care. See that your little ones engagement with some of the chil- Cough are protected against emergency. In dren in the neighborhood. Bert Townshend. fact, 1 was rather enjoying the sport myself, bs I smoked my ciEasily Remedied. gar and watched the progress of the battle. Chief Clerk (in railway office) tiuddenly and without warning "Here's a report from the the old tab that my boy was in to the effect that the Deep went to pieces, throwing him into river bridge is unsafe. What inthe water. structions shall I give him? I was rather inclined to langh General Manager Tell him when I saw him go o'verlioard, for to give it a fresh coat of paint imthe pond was nhallow aud he is a mediately. Chicago New. strong healthy yonng fellow, and I knew a ducking wouldnt hurt Discovered by Woman him. Another "But he didnt come up alter he great discovery has been made, and that too, by a went under, and with my heart in Disease lady in this country.. 'my mouth, I dashed in after him fastened and her clutches its upon to the total ruination of a good suit for seven years she withstood its of clothes. but her vital orseverest I pulled him out and got him gans weretfcsts, undermined and death ashore, and then seeing that he seemed imminent. For three had suffered no harm I asked him munths she coughed incessantly, rather angerily what he meant by and could not sleep. She finally going to the bottom like a stone discovered a way to recovery, by without even making a straggle, purchasing of us a bottle of Dr. Con"'Why, pop, said he, as he look- King's New Discovery for rewas so much ed at me in injured amazement, sumption, and first on lieved dose, that taking was Spam's I was playing that I all night; and with she slept navy, and I just had to sink; there two bottles, has been absolutely wasn't any other way ont of it cured. Her name is Mrs. Luther "I lectured him on the value of Lutz. Thus writes VV. C. Ham-nic- k American citizenship at all times, & Co., of Shelby, N. C. and then sent him into his mothei, Trial bottles free at Townshend's and from what I heard I took it Drug Store. Regular aize 50c that sho considered the war over. and $1.00. Every bottle Detroit Free Press. Fart of Colored tea is somewhat I StalionaaiulSidinge I 1 I i . $31.50. d Kiat-bu- JAcme Bicycles SI x fAM DtJ. 6 K j II 98 Models. PM. poisonous. AM 'ft u0 Dep tftSSW. I 7 b li, kl 07; poisonous, and tastes better than IV lifts PM PM Ar IZiMIW; i etatlou where uo lime is ihown trains du not slop. D trains run daily S E train! mu daily except Sunday, D.C. DODOS, Vice-PiA Gen'l Mgr1 At colored tea. An Unparalleled Time Record Iiyotiare truing Was made every day daring the period of the Omaha Exposition by the trains of the Chicago, Mil- SELL FOE I71.M. We Have a A;ei'i bet Sell Direct to the Rider at Manufacturer1! Price, Savin Vug alt Agent's Profits. Bint materiel!. Superb fiuiih. Eight clrgmil niudrle. Wc inipauy where with privilege of examination, ay oyrrsa charge! both wayi end refund vi.ur money it nut a rvprcsenteiL Eviry Acme" if fully iniunuitivil amiinet all AiWdiufi ai well ai I it feel iv Send lor catalogue. 7UU7 0O 8U 8 hi, High Grade. SAME 0EADG AS AGENTS Dap 8 168 40 8 4b8ft3' Schillings Best is not at all p, ACME CYCLE CO., Elkhart, Ind. 102 Main St., to waukee & St Paul Railway on ifs Chicago aud Omaha Short Line. Altho its trains hauled from ten to thirteen well filled sleeping cars and coaches each night, yvt schedule time of arrival at Omaha and at Chicago was an accomplished fact, a record to lie proud of, and which has resulted in establishing the Chicago, Milwaukee & St Paul Railway in the minds of the traveling community as the shortest, best and most reliable route between Omaha aud Chidago and the East. All coupon ticket agents sell tickets via the Chicago, Milwaukee City, St. Louis, THElillOKTIMNEiTO Or any point But. and wink to an Joy a daylight rid throuirh th. raiidant of th. Koekj bo aura to .air fur a Mountain,(diary ticket that roada via tkaezs tour, Idrillt ul ;UR. KABL 0. JIAESEBS! Mortii Sfricgi, ; School and Fireside Best and most Popular Routeto Cripple Creek, Victor, Aspon, Glen wood Springs anil la now published. Xu school o r fireside Is complete wlihu.n, r,. A modern, hauiwome book, in those St. Panl R'y. For information regarding the line address L. L. styles, Downing, Commercial Agent, Salt $2.00 $2.75 $3.75 ALL Lake City, Utah. No Tiresome Layovers, Close Connections in containing 400 pnge including 122 e elegant portraits. Front-Union Depots. Is a full Ati-Ciapluce page CZ2Th picture of Dr. A secret rough Kleeitera and through Free Clint League flourAnd Pteitively the1 Cura. Fluent Mawr. Agent- - an wanted In all Rlrguut hquiiimeut. Sreueryauil ishes in the most fashionable quarQuickest Route They only lina running thuugh Free Choir part of the United States, Utah in particular. Cara to iJenvrr, Colorado Springe, Leadville ter of New York. The aristocratic MILLIONS of tMKiks untieing ami Intermediate point! from Salt Luka City Angora And the patrician Persian published annually, thoiimmils nf aud I tgdnn. canvasseru are Helling them, but cats, out in the backyard, singing to Yo the great riven and Atlantia naaDoard. Truiuk leave and arrive at R. G. W. R. R. depot. only a LIMITED few are worth I'hei Leave dully the mKn, die. suddenly. ,,.7.40p. m, your time to rend. Tell the c.. . j 1L08 p. m. when lie ml la on .von and bodies, still and voiceless, are found Elegant and Thoroughly Modern Eqnlpmei Arrive daily BUY DU. MAKS KitS TOOK. and A. BENTON. Ticket I. aud City Agert, Haeiiuiuj Chair Cara, iu whisk t in the yard next day, and not unrata are fraa to lioldan of regular tra IS W. Karond South. THE SKELTON PUBLISHING CO. ticket. til then is it known that the official A.BKOWN. Genera I Agent, O, Provo, Utah. Room 4 Atlas Dluek.Sult Luke City. Borgia of the Auti-CSociety haB on Call or address passed that way. Ex. & POINTS EAST half-ton- at From TTtali -- I at U. R. KOOHEtl, CoiBhiarelal Frelgt A Agt Roomftl, Marian block, Suit Lake City, Pa. Thisis'the opportunity of Ok Agents are making H.c.TonXHMtn, 8. Louie Mo. General TLaaetraiua will be elegantly lira lyloeal aud alwayaoa time. Fatrouiaa them whan you travel, LOCAL TIME CARD. at the South Bound tv. tv, Varloue fAr.'fAr Neatly and Ono Hundred Illustrations. the only authentic work published the inindHof the entire civilized world. This la Four train daily from to Balt take. Two fact tralne dally from Salt Lake to all point aa it. Improved Touriat Sleeper ud Free Beclin-- I ngChalr Cara Salt taka to Chioag o without ehange. Elogaat Day Coaehaa. The only line operating dining ear service. The Shorteet and Faetaet Line from Salt taketo Denver, Xeneae City, Omaha audjdl Point Eaat. and Gen. Mgr, S. W. ECCLES, Gen. Trf. Mgr. Vlea-Pre- a Burley. Gan' Pnaaengor Agt. City Tlekat Oflee 101 Mein St. 8altLake City. Ales Thornton, Agent, Pay ion. D. E. " Why docs my cake smell so queer? Too much soda or haps alum or lime. on the one subject occupying Liberal commissions will tie paid and given, Lose no time, act at once. Write foi full particulars to 91-0- 3 credit Fiftli Aye, New York. Our authorized distributors are located In all parts of the U. S. A Premlaent Phyalrlan. A prominent New York physician fa dismissing the merits of Kipans Tabulae with a brother M. D. aaid : Several Tear ago I asserted that If one wished to become a philan-thopii- t, and do a beneficent deed-o- ne that would help the whole human race nothing could be better thaw to procure the Itooeerelt Hospital prescription, vkiek it ike teiit ef Ha Rifatu TeiuUi, and cause it to M put up in the form of a ketchup and distributed among the poor. Sale Increasing. in largest retail drug store Co. America ia that of Hegeman ft on Broadway in New York City. A reporter who went there to learn The Ogden Executed TI3 Publishers of General Lees book. North Bound STATION W. H. BANCROFT, e. 1 We have on press for earlv Issue, General Lee' n n story of Cuba and the Spanish War, to tie produced lu a substantial 1km. k uf over buu page, 7xt Inches In else and almost. The International Society, ter Promptly life-tim- and late Council General to Cuba, writes a bonk on May 8, U98. Train Arriva and Depart Station a Follow! : a to S 60 a week. GubaaL Spanish War. SHORT LINE RY. New Train Seme; Ia affect, SSO FITZHUGH LEE. Maj. Gen. U. S. V. Pa. A Tlekat Ag OREGON . a d S El ma-jest- y? road-mas- Wrat-Boun- per- how Ripens Tab-ulr- a were aolling bought a flve-cecarton and asked : "Do you hare nt muoh oall for timer He was referred to a gentleman who proved to be the head of the department He mid : The sale of Ripen Tabnlee la constant and is increasing, due especially to the influential character of the testimonial in the dailr preM, and growing out of these, through the reoommendation of friend to friend. Satisfaction with them i vary general. When once they are begun I notice that a permanent customer for them ia moda. This, 1 believe, is through their intrinnio merit, which proves the bona fide character of the ad vortiaing. I think them apecially useful in the general run of stomach trouble. " Use Schillings Best baking powder. . hr ml An ICIderly Lady. An elder! v lady living at Fordham Ileit'hiH, a iart of New York City, and who was known to be a warm advocM'Hif Kipans Tabulcs for any cmie of liver trouble or indieeeUoo, who visited her for aaid toan-portc- r the purpose of learning the particulars of her cnee: I had always emplo.veil u phyairlcn and did so on th'j 1 ls. oci'o. ion I hod for one, but at that tiiu obtained no beneficial rosu'is. 1 hnd never hud any faith i:,c.lii'is but haring seen hi Tb! iJ'i !. mmomh-very i i . 'll" in th- !pw irk 7. r..y con-i'i'- .i ilu-ii- i 1 ii e a tiinl, and jv. 'Tf iiixt wh:ii n. v rase I I li:".f uerei i"! '"yed a pubiiLui tjuuc, and tluii n,. alia a saving of $3 a call. A dollar' worth of Tsbulea Kipans lasts me a month, and I would not bo without them now if it were my loot At the dollar. time of this inters view there were "present two daughters who specially objected to their mother giving a ten Li mur ial which ahould parade her name in the newspaper, but to do this the elder lady argued : "There mar be other canes just liko mine, ana I am sure I take great pleasure in recommending theTnbulo to any ora afflicted os I was. If ths telling about my case in the paper enables some otlicr peraon similarly affected to he a greatly benefited as I have no objection." The daughbeen, I ters, knowing how earnestly slie felt about the benefit die had received, decided she was quite right. !, nuMinithotiMimnw tfylspMtot sir!! vifcufpaelMlIaf ranmim fusiSw!" tHilfv)m!lialyill !r Tark or MstalBlmrTffl kvd. On ! irfttoavirammiVorad toM ania I Ihs PiraM Cmmirii. iliar!V. Ku I! Hhw Mran, -to Hir.m Ti:U!imy ahii In T.IIIT) vlllha MI( (nr nvat mu liquor kiikar Ourak!Mrara av!d ml! iamij nvwwmwwwwwmwmwwwM n ky f mm ararax 0aiva ndlM. eraral ' 1 |