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Show Pointed Paragraphs. Bat few wouaeii have time to look like their portraits. Gossip ia alway short lived unless it is properly ventilated. fise is the famous mau who doesnt overwork his popularity. The piesent is the child of the past and the father of the future The more vanity some people possess the easier it is to make them happy. Satan never gets tired of jolly people who imagine they are prize beauties. Time may be a success as a wound-healebut it seldom removes the scars. An old bachelor BA) s the aver- When the cars are unloaded at the top he will always mount an empty car and lie down and ride to the liottom of the slop?, a distance of half a mile. On eue occassiou as he was drawing up a load a train of empty cars got loose and went down the slope at a break-nec- k speed, and the men thought the mule would be killed by the collision, but as the empty cars were abont to rush on him Le jumped on the first one and rode back to he bottom with tbe whole train. New York Tribune. We never heard of husbands and wives quarreling about which loved the other most The bigger the bore a man is the smaller the hole be leaves when his days are numbered. Beauty may be only skin deep, but it invariably manages to get a seat in a crowded car. Some actors are like some eggs they go upon the stage when they are no good for anything else. The courting of an heiress is a business suit, but the courting of a flirt is merely a masquerade irigatehird can start at daybreak with the trade winds from the const of Africa and roost the same night upon the American shore. Whether this is a fact or not has yet to determined, but it is certain tbat the bird is the swiftest of the winged creatures, and is able to ly, under favorable conditions, 200 miles an hour. suit. Probably tbe happiest day in the ' average farmers life i'b when his beet pig lakes a 3 prize at the county fair. A scientist lias discovered that thirst drives 00 per cent of mankind to drink. Science is a wonderful thing. Whenever a girl begins to lecture a young man on financial economy, lie cau safely ask her to name the lmppy day. Many a man who wonldut think of making a wife of his cook lias no scruples about making a cook of his canSinger Sewing-Machin- e not be obtained through dtort amt Korn or swrchandhr dral-cr- c ; they arc delivered directly from mjLer to rr only tlirouh our own capiojreee. They are offered to the public on their merit a the beet device 1 M- for family earing, CW YOU TY ONE FREE CERTAINLY. Lwliver it at yuur door, ia our own wagon, upon application to any of our o fieri, k rated in every city ia tht world. EITHER LOCK-STITCOR CH A..I-S- T ITCH. AXY STiLEOF CAI1INCT WORK. SoU foe Cub, or Leased. Old Machine Exchanged. - The Frigate Bird. Many sailors believe that the r, age wait of women is until they are asked to marry. FRO M i MAKER TO USER. wife. An old bachelor says there is but one thing sweeter then loves Trajer was Effective. HIb One hard winter when sickness came to a poorly-pa- id pastor of a certain New England church, lis flock determined to meet at his louse to offer prayers for the speedy recovery of the sick ones and for material blessings upon the isstors family. While one of the deacons was offering a fervent jrayer for blessings upon the pastors household, there was a loud mock at the door, which was opened and a stout farmer boy admitted. What do yoa want, boy?" asked one of the elders. Ive brought patf prayers,1' replied the boy. '"Brought pas prayers? what do you metm? Yep, brought pa's prayers, an.'1, theyre out in the wagon. Just lelp me, anil well get them in. Investigation disclosed the fact that pas prayeis" consisted of potatoes, flour, bacon, turnips, spiles, clothing, aud a lot of jellies or the- sick ones.. The prayer meeting adiourued in short order. Detroit Free Press. ' oung dream and that is to wake up and find yourself still single. Nothing disconcerts o girl mere than to brace herself to meet the Glorious News shock of a marriage proposal and Comes from Dr.D B. Cargile, the shock fails materialize. Chi- of Washita, 1. T. He writes: "Four bottles of Electric Bitters cago News. hascurtd Mrs. Brewtr of scrofu-which had caused her great The Appetite of a Goat Terrible eara. Is envied by all poor dyspeptics suffering for on her break out would uhose Stomach and Liver are sores and docand the best head face, out of order. All such should her no but could tors help; give know that Dr. King, a New Life is complete and htr health is cure Pills, the wonderful Stomach and excellent. This shows what Liver Remedj, gives a splendid thousands have proved, that appetite, scund digestion, and a Electric Bitters is the best blood regular bodily habit that insures purifier known. Its the supreme perfect health and great energy. remedy for eczema, .tetter, salt Only 25c, at Townshends drug rheum, ulcers, boils and running store. sores . It stimulates liver, kidneys and bowels, expels poisons, helps Ironical Ifa. digestion, builds up the strength. If you are happily married it Only 50 cents. Sold by J. L. Townshend Druggist. Guaranis foolish to despair. If a man is able to gain time he teed. - SINGER SEWING-MACrUNARE SOtO ONLY $34.59. Acme 98 Models. AH uu! 1 I UY fi H IC A Sensible Mule. For more than ten years a very sensible mule has been workiui ; 111 the mines near Bloesbnrg, Ala. load of six to the top csri without a murmur, but if you put lie will pull hia usual from the bottom on an extra car he will kick ant bray an refu s to go until relievec A Wife Little Hobby waa eutertaining Mr, Geezely while Miss Fripperson was upstairs adjusting her back hair and giving her face a few final dabs with the powder puff. My sister says you aint got no idea of humor, said Ilobbie. Indeed, Mr. Geezeley returnWhen did she any that? ed, Jist after you was here the last time. She said she seen yon lookin at yourself in the mirror Beveral timee, and you never laughed Cleveland Leader. wunst. tl ACME CYCLE CO., Main St., Elkhart, lad. 102 me s. u Qeul Mgr DAnOOCK, Traffic Manager, F. A. WADLE1GII. OeuTPea.ATIcket.Agt. PIKES PEAK ROUT- E- I an-J- oy Missuri Fatih Ej. JProm TTtaJi THE SIIORTLINE ber, LeaM ui EoUi TO tDli. KABL G. MAESERS Spricgt, School and Fir33ld3 lust and most Fopular Route lo Cripple Creek, Victor, Aspen, Glenwood Springs and la how published. No school o: fireside la complete wltbo tt It. A modem, handsome book, la Umm styles, ALL POINTS EAST $2.00 $2.75 $3.75 400 pages including 122 containing elegant bsif-- t one portraits. Frontispiece la a full page picture of l)r. Mainer. Agent are warned In all parts of the United States, Utah in particular. MILLIONS of books are being published annually, I thousanda of canvasser are aril hr them, but only a LIMITED few are worth your time to rend. Tell the canvasser n when he calls on you and sad BUY DR. MAESER'S BOOK, (Z Through Sleepers and through Free Chat Cara. Fined Sreuery and Elegant Equipment. They only line running through Free Chair Cara to Urnvrr. Colorado Springe, Loadvllla and Intermediate point from Salt Lake City and I Igdeu. Trains leave aud arrive at R. G. W. R. R. daput. 1.10 p. m. Leave daily ILH p. m. Arrivndaily I. A. RENTON. Cily Ticket Agert, IS W. Second Month. 0 THE SKELTON PUBLISHING CO. A.BKOWN. General Agent, Bourn 4 Atlaa MoakJJalt Lake City. Provo, Utah. . This la the irtunlty of a Agents are irisl ng 60 to S 60 a week. life-tim- e, 1 TJ. S. V. HTZHUGH LEE. Maj. Gen. "andlste Council General to Culis, write a brmkon OREGON SHORT LINE RY. 4 Tl.eeetratiif trill beelajiully e t'lippej pure ly local and always on time. Patronise them when yon travel, LOCAL TIME CARD. I n effect. May I, ISM. T ralue Arrive and Deport at the Varlout y 8tatione ai Fallows: South Bound Lv. Lv, North Bound sTfitiojr Tlr-fA- Gubauth. Spanish War. We hereon press for earlv issue, General Lees Spanish War, to tie produced in a substantial inches in aloe and almost r The International Society, 91-9- 3 Salt Lake. Two fast trains dally Ogdea from Salt Lake tu all poiuteeaat. Improved Tourist Sleeper and Free Reetln IngChalr Oart Salt Lake to Chicago without tango. Elegant Day Coaohea. The only Hue operating dining ear service. The Shortest and Pant set Lina from 8alt L aka to Denver. Kr naas City. Omaha and.all Points East. Promptly' Executed AI IS end Gen. Mgr EGCLES, Gen. Trf. Mgr. W. H . BANCROFT, S. W. Tlce-Pr- a D. E. Hurley. Gen T Paeeenger Agt. City Ticket Office Ml Mein St. Belt Lake City Alex Thornton, Agent, Peyeon. Why docs my cake queer?" OFFICE n smell so Too much soda or perli haps alum or lime. Use Schillings Best baltinn; Fifth Avc, New York. Publishers of General Leos Dock. Our authorized distributors are located la all parts of theU. S. -- lOTiwtfnmnv- - "1 theoe? An Elderly Lady. An elderly lady living at Fcidhaaa Heights, a port of New York Gity, and who wgg known to be a worm advocate of Ripana Tabules far any case of liver trouble or Indigestion, said to a reporter who visited her for the purpose of learning the particular! of her case : I had always employed a physician and did soon-tb1 !! oenutinn I had for one, but at liiat time obtained no beneficial result?. I had never hod any faith in (Biti-n- t liiMlicitu-v- , but having neen IVIniIiw wey liiylil - in tint New Yk iltnU I tu a trial, what niy fnunil llivv wi-jiut 1 ii, hnw uuver a pL; giciau aiiaoti, and that uiuaua a saving of $3 a coll. A dollar worth of Tshalog Rlpans lasts me a month, and I would not be without thou now if it were my lost ran of stomach troubles. tin! of hh interview there were present ten wb rpecialiy objected to their mother givings testimonial which should pwao noma in the newspapers, outv to do this the alder lady argued t may be other cnees just like ana lam sure I take great pleasure ia recommending tbeTabulev to any one afflicted as I'was If the telling about my ceee in tho papers enables some other person similarly affected os 1 have to be oe greatly benefited been. I see no objection. " Tbe daughter. knowing bow earnestly she felt about the benefit she had received, decided she was quite right. PromlnsnS Physician. ol to xbi One Hundred Illustrations, A prominent New York physician in ing the merits of Ripens Tabules with a brother 1L D. said : Beveral years ago I asserted that If one wished to heoome a philsn. gad do b benefloent deed-o- ne that would help the whole human race nothing could be better thou to procure the Roosevelt llos-pitprescription, wkitk U tkt tmtit rftkr Ripani ToSutu, and causa it to be put up iu the tom of s ketchup and distributed among the poor. Four traiua daily from 500 pages, 1 RHWMWW Neatly story of Cobs and the uf oner This the only authentic work published on tbe one subject occupying the minds of the entire civilized world. Liberal commissions will be paid and credit OUTFITS READY given, Lose no time, set at once. Write foi full particulars to A and o n bo--- New Train Service .2 The Only Oie. What do yon call tbat eminence? asked the tourist We dont call it nothing, anThat swered Fief ace Johnson. in blnff tbe is only there, I guess called. been aint that this country Cincinnatti Enquirer. Didnt Appreoiati the Ridiculous. A VlM-Pr- City, St. Louis, ia b Chicago News;1 m y GqMMiIM Kansas my new bat perfect dream?" one Well, yes--in Husband respect And what is that?" Wife There is absolutely Husband a dream, you know. nothing in ee Silver City uaiisu) A Visa Installation. Dont you think Eureka Jet. D.C. DODOS, a, gains everything. If yon get lost yon can recover yourself at a clothing store. If a man is windy he is apt to make others pneumatically tired. If the tongue is less deceptive its because the heart is more so. If a man is ignorant it is impossible to defeat him in an argument If out of sight ia really out of miud, then all blind men mnst be insane. If a girl advises a young man not to lend her brother money shes in love. If some playwrights would vaccinate their plays before staging them they might take. If a man is a coward be is scorned and abused; if a woman is a coward she iB petted and encouraged. Chicago News. Saving Ym all Agest's Pronto. D at materiel. Superb fiui-- h. Eight elegant mudclf. We ship any wherr with eaprea-chargof rum pay illation, privilege both way end reload vuui muui-it nut repreatuled. Kv.vy Acme i ally iiearweferd epiiul decide Kt u well as 1cerhvt if'et Hrnd fur catakigac. Prktt, Mainmuth PH ;PMi i7l.IV. Haw to Afcntt hat Sell Direct to the Rider at Maasfactoitr'a Laguuda CauouSidiug : Grade. We Payaou Mautaquiu Uonheii Hillside It High ORAM AS AQENTS SOL FOB SAME Atatatloul urban uo tlia. U uluiwu traius do ut atop. D traiua run daily 8 K train run dally oxeept Sunday. recognizing the vast commercial importance of Chicago, m its relations particularly to all the western States an Territories, has established an office in that city, on tbe bank floor of tbe Owings building, No. 215 Dearborn Btreet, and Mr. E. Copland, who is well aud favorably known to the business men of Chicago aud the west generally, has been installed as general agent It is desired that this office shall become the headquarters, while in Chicago, of all our western fiiends, and in order to serve the interest Or any point Bait, and wiah to n daylight rid. through tho and convenience of any who may grandoat lew ary of tho Koehy bo aura to ah for iBouutaiua. suitfavor this office with a visit, '"" ticket that rrads via tha3 able desk room in a very pleasant location, overlooking the streets, has been provided for their accommodation, with all necessary writing material, together with files of tbe Halt Lake City papers. No Tiresome Layovers, Close Connections in All up to date iuformaion concernUnion Depots. ing freight aud passenger rates, And Pisitively the routes, etc., can always be obtainQuickest Route ed at this offiite. Mail may be addressed in care of the office, and any forwarding To the groat rivereaud Atlantic aaauoard. instructions left wit li the general agent will be promptly and care- Elogmit and Thoroughly Modern Eqnlpmar and Ueeliniuj (Hiafr Car., in whirh t fully oluerveri. aeate are free to liulden uf regular tra It is desired that this office shall tielurta. become essentially a bureau of information, for residents of Utah Call on or address II. H. KOOHKB, and the sarronuding states, and Commercial Frelgt A Pan. Agt yon r interest in and visits to the Rooiat 1, Uurlaa Mock, Salt lake City, on office are cordially invited. You if. c. to irjrmo, will be certain of receiving a pleasGeneral Paw. A Ticket Ag 8 . Louie Mo. ant greeting at all times. C SJ,1 os tv! Ml MS IIlaid Ityou are wing to way Company, Salt Lake Uep bprlngviUe Spanish Fork tlMlIM Rio Grands Weston Ral way. Rail- 5tt DP iUIR, IS Ml THE SINGER M FG. CO. The Hio Grande Western Bicycles Salas I The largest retail drug store in America is that of Hegemon A Co. en Broadway in New York City, A reporter who went then to learn how Ripana Tab-nk- a were selling bought a flvwcent carton and asked : "Do you have muoh call for He was referred to a gentleman who proved to be the hrnd of the depart-men- t Re said t Tabnlss ia "The sale of constant and is g. dua especially to the influential character a thetestimouials in the daily press, and growing out of these, through the recommendation of friend to friend. Satisfaction with them is ary general. When once they ore begun I notice that a permanent1 easterner tor them is made. This, believe, is through their intrinsio fide merit, which prove the bona character of the advertising. 1 think them specially useful In the general k wm ftylt fMfcrt mftriBbur w i aanMinrimw-mM On Snana afljMi Mt.Wllw fru Tllguw) KwWwyra wwutr? hfiaamri It fa.llw will b ! i in-i- r dollar. hf w,uU MitaMrmMiK At the MaiBa traagin |