OCR Text |
Show PAGEANTRY OF LIFE. Oh, the music, mirth end madness Oh. the melancholy strife And t ve sweetness and the sadness And tL glory snd the gladness In the pugesntry of Lite. Oh. the glimmer of the candle. Oh, the Itlekeling of tlie flame Phantom gold which none may handle Weary foot unit broken scandal Oh, the worthlessness of Fuinc! the l;tterneiia and burning. Oh, the pathos and the pain Oh. the endli ssiiess of yiarnlng And the shallowness of Oh, the throbbing of the brain! Oh. the folly of regiettlng, oli. tlie glamor of the goal Oil. the fervor and the fretting And the sweetness of forgetting Oh. the sorrows of the soul! Oh. the emptiness of seeming. Oh, the hollowness of pride Oh. the loneliness and hinging, Oh. the laughter and the tears I Oh. the dinging uini the ilonging And the groupin'; and l lie thronging At the aepulelitr of years! the beauty and the glory, Oh, the majesty of age Passion cold and tresses hoary Oh, the sadness of the story, ' Oh, the turning of the page! Oh. the music nnl the madness. Oh. the sweetness snd the strife And the borrow and tlie sadnest And the glory and the gladness In tlie ugt entry of I.lfe! Thomas Shelley Sutton. Oh. Oh, the vanity of scheming And the Idleness of uresming And the misery beside! la Dr. John llall's time it was the custom in his church to use the simple Jij nu.a. and the s.nglng was congregational. Oh, On one occasion the late Willia.n M. Evarts discovered E. Deiafield Smith, the lawyer and the corporation counsel of New York, singing with all hia heart, and whispered to his friend. "Why there is Smith singing ') want to lie an angel.' I knew he wanted to he district attorney, liut 1 didnt kuow he wanted to be an angel." The remark was repeated to Mr. Smith, and quick as a flash came tho well-know- n Salsbny Jerkins' Idea. Mr. letort: No, I have never mentioned the matter to Evarts, knowing that he had no influence in that direction! BY WII.I.IAM A. OSBORNE. (Copyright. MO, by Dally 8tory Pub. Co 1 Mr. Salsbury Jenkins stepped out upon the hotel porch under the fire An amusing occurrence took place in a baptist church in New London, Connecticut, when Dr. Wrlghtman, who was well and favorably known in his of inquisitive glances with an easy nonchalance of manner, which conies only with long practice. He was the latest arrival. He lit his cigar and gazed with an indifferent curiosity upon the crowd. Mr. Salsbury Jenkins was an observer especially of women, and he speedily made up his mind that the girl in the pink dimity at the end of the piazza was the one girl in the crowd. Having reached this conclusion he rested not until he had having been formally introduced been formally Introduced he improved hi opportunity. A day or two later he sat on the railing looking down upon the girl, a he reclined in an easy chair. She laid down a hook, with a sigh. "What do you think of It? queried denomination, was its pastor. One Sabbath morning a stranger was in the pulpit with Dr. Wrlghtman. Tlie latter, after conducting the usual devotional exercises. Introduced the stranger as the Hcv. Mr. Smith. And that gentleman, rising promptly, without mentioning chapter and verse, announced as his text: Of whom the whole family in heavi n and earth is named. After tie service Mr. Smith asked Dr. Wrightman why the congregation apptared to be amused wlun the text was announced. . An old man, who was employed as and sahl io be very loud of a dram, was going hi rounds one very stormy night, when he discovered a man taking shelter from the rain. The watchman Informed him that lie would have to decamp at once The stranger remonstrated, plead ml. and begged, but the watchman was determined-o- ut he must go. The man rose, and, producing a bottle of whisky, remarked: Well, 1 suppose I will have to go, but will you take a taste of this first?" The watchman brightened up at mrc, and said: Eh, man, did ye think I was in earnest ?" night-watchma- n Mr. A certain minister was recently asked by a lady of his acquaintance to address the young women of a society in which she was interested. She was im ardent abstainer, and often had had dlscuasions with the minister on the subject of total abstinence. On this occasion, however, she requested him to talk to her girls against the love of dress, which, she said, was causing the ruin of many a promising young woman of the present day in fact, it was last becoming a curse. The minister promised to address them on the desired subject. Then, with a twinkle in his eye, he added, And shall it be moderation or total abstinence? t Duncan," said the girl to Kennedy, later, do you mind, Duncan, if sometimes I call you Masterson. "Call nie anything, my darling," returned Kennedy. I'll come to yon when you call." WHEN SNAKES TAKE FLIGHT Tramp of Hoofa of Cattle Sure to Send gestion with a glance which. In anwould have been a stony glare. This time he did not offer. He watched her disappear In the woodland path and then he followed her. The glen was a wild and weird and lonely place, especially after sundown. Mr. Jenkins felt that keenly but he pressed on after the girl. he raught glimpses of her but finally he lost her. Suddenly he heard a wild scream a womans scream her scream. For an Instant it froze his blood. Then he braced up and sprinted on ahpod, shoutlrg as lie went he, the deliverer In a reassuring voice. He reached tlie spot. The first thing he saw waa the girl he caught sight of her through an opening In the leaves. other person, Jenkins. Perfectly lovely," returned the Masterson, the hero, is such girl. a fine fellow the kind of man who's strong and brave and risks his life for women, and really accomplishes things. I could fall in love with a man like that. I'm tired of the rest the kind who talk all day about book and the theater, the races and golf. is it love?" asked the doubter. "I ravt about her liair, here eyes; I Masterson was so different. Mr. Jenkins winced. For two days seek her out on all occasions; I am content to hold her hand for hours at a I find he had held forth upon golf and the a liertofore unknown rapture in her smiles and kiBses; but is it time; races, the theater and hooka. Still, really love?" I should he thought, complacently, of his manjudge," replied ltis prosaic friend, "that it ought to be. "Ah, but is it?" ly appearance, and he considered that be would push Masterson, the book's Well, I can tell you how to find out. IIow?" hero, close for second place. But her." it was up to him now to make an im"Marry pression to prove hia supremacy. St. Peter What was your business on earth? He preferred to eclipse Masterson The Stranger I was a baseball umpire. If possible. To this end he racked St. Peter Indeed! And whgt Is your own opinion of your fitness for bis brain. admission here? And then a sublime Idea occurred The Umpire Me? Why, I'm as straight a shoestring as you ever let In. ' to him; the more he thought of it St. Peter Im afraid Ill have to dispute that." the more he liked it and aa he conThe Stranger What! Dispute It! Thats just enough from you. If you templated It, he thought it must end In but one way with the girla arms ain't back qq the bench inside of twenty seconds 111 fine you 50! around his neck, like the heroine's This Mother, said a little girl, looking up from her book, what does Trans- about the neck of Masterson. idea was not entirely original he had atlantic' mean? read of it in fiction; but It was, he "Oh, across the Atlantic, of comae. Don't bother me." Does 'trans' always mean aero is? considered, without precedent in real 1 suppose it does. If you don . stop bothering me with your questions, life. It was to place the girl in a situation of apparent danger, from youll go to bed. "Then does 'transparent mean t cross parent?" which, without danger to himself, he would gloriously rescue her. Ten minutes later that little girl was renting on her tiny couch. It was a great Idea and Mr. Jenklpa worked it out. My dear," he said softly. Well?" she returned, with some asperity. Well, mlater, said the tramp, There is just one thing I daohre to Vtow in order to be contented with glancing doubtfully at Mr. Jenkins my lot." shoulder Ill tell you "What is It?' she asked. Will you hold me up as a model to vour third husband as you now bold how It is. I stood up once to have a man knock me down for five dollars first husband up to me?" yr-i- r It was John L. what did it An' he broke me nose. I dont want no more "I think," she said, that kissing foolish, don't you?" It. I dont want you to use me of con-Well a he replied, there cerUiuly t.' great deal ef foolishness Mr. Jenkins reassured him. rough. acted with it. Well, then. I'll go you, mister. They sat looking earnestly at iach Ather for a little while. Then the I'm not much on scaring women, but wriggled about and said: Ob, dear! I fuel so foolish this evening! I woader what's the matter with me." well-padde- d Mr. Salsbury waa sat Jenkins afraid of the gii!s, no but of tho girl that was a different matter. And, then, too, lie was a bit apprehensive as regards the tramp. After al:, sighed Mr. Salsbury Jenkins, New York's the place!" the beak! She waa standing near a tree, her eyes opened wide with Fright? No, with interest. She was gazing Intently at some spectacle, Jenkins knew not what. Her expression for an Instant gave him pause. Then he stepped forward, cautiously, rather than impetuously, as he had intended. As he did so, he heard fierce imprecations in one voice, guttural entreaties in another. And then he saw that his tramp was being beaten and pounded unmercifully by some young giant, in the most approved manner. For awhile the tramp put up a real or pretended resistance then he weakened. Don't, don't, mister, he pleaded. Aint yer got yer money's worth! Stop, Mister! No! no! no! not on the beak!" he screamed in agony. For his opponent had planted a vigorous blow upon that already fractured member. He followed It by another Mow that sent the tramp sprawling. The tramp, seizing his chance, scrambled to his feet, and scampered through the underbrush and out of Them Scurrying Away. Occasionally a temperate man is found who studies snakes, and one of these is Gen. Milton Moore. The general reads everything he can find bearing upon the habits and habitats of the snake society, and for that reason he was particularly interested In Alexander meeting Fifth Missouri, who recently returned from South America. Mahlstrom told me," said Gen. Moore yesterday, that the snakes in Central America are torpid and stupid to a degree, though some of them are violent enough when disturbed. They often bite the woodfellers there. I never knew them to bite an I overland crossed the trailer. plains thirty years ago. and many times since, In the freighting business. It was my experience that the sound of the approach of cattle or buffalo sent the snakes about their business. We lay on the ground where snakes were thick In our absence, but scarce in cur presence. A snake must have some sense, and he must reflect that whereas he might put a lone man to flight, he had not a ghost of a show with a herd of rattle or buffalo tramplug him. So he runs when he hears the caravans coming. I never knew them to bite a man while I was going over the trail. I recollect at one time running across a rattler. I was riding a mule. He woke up, heard the hoof beats and started off. A rattler cannot run straight much better than a Swede turnip can roll straight. He wobbles. This fellow was terrified, for he took off. A quick walk was as fast as he could go. I dismounted, pulled cut my cap and ball revolver and began firing at him. The first shot clipped him and made him furious. He hissed and shook his tail with a vengeance. But he heard my mule and headed for tall grass. I think it waa my fifth shot that broke his Kanback. The snake Is a coward. sas City Journal. Mahl-stro- Demonstration Too Effective. Two maiden sisters of mature years bad been to a temperance lecture To demonstrate the disastrous effect of alcohol upon life, the lecturer had poured a portion of whisky into a glass which contained water and a mass of lively animalculae of different unsightly shapes snd sizes. The result of the mixture was that the shoals of ugly looking fishes were soon bereft of life snd were seen floating helplessly in the water. On the way home, when nearing a saloon one sister remarked to the other: Mary, will you go in and get some whisky?" reSome whisky!" astonishingly marked the other. "YeB, dear, for I really can never again drink water with all those horrible things floating about. I would rather drink them dead than alive." Mr. Depew's Oversight. Is Mr. Depew in? said a life insurance agent, handing his card to the cilice attendant. Ill see, sir," replied the minion, Bight. As he did so, the girl, with a cry. going into the senator's sanctum. Mr. Depew glanced at the card and sprang forward and threw herself into the man's arms, clinging closely shook his head In the negative. AlFather (sternly) Your examination, I understand, takes place in a week, round his neck. though the upper part of his body was and here you are. idling away your time without ever opening a book. It Duncan oh, Duncan!" she cried. hidden from public view by bis desk, seems to me that you ought to be going aver all you have learnt in order to Duncan, my preserver!" The man the senator's legs were plainly visible fix it more firmly in your mind. held her close, tnd bent down and as he sat with his side toward the I I can Sou (cheerfully all read up til hare learnt b O, that's right. kissed her, not orre, hut many limes. desk. fore lit half an hour. Mr. Depew Is out,' said the atAs he did so, Jenkins saw his face, tendant. and knew him. It was Kennedy Arc you going to the Ron Ton's party tomorrow night?" asked Harduppe Duncan Kennedy, a mining engineer, "Well," said the insurar.ee solicitor, of his wife. the a hotel. at glancing through ow the can I when I have nothing to guest l "No!" replied Mrs. H., cuttingly. For the moment Mr. Jenkins wts door, I wish you would tell him when wear?'' overcome. He sank upon the ground. he comes in that I think my company "That is about all you'll need," responded he; the ladies are to appear When ho recovered his equilibrium would positively refuse to accept him in (veiling dress." as a first class risk unless he will he found that they hod disappeared blit, hearing the sound of voWcs on agree to always tukc his legs with him Miss Mamie." began tlie basso profuurio between the antbemns, "are you his national of the f..nd right, he mow'd in that direction. when he goes out." game?" He caine to a small opening. In Well. Mr. ivepvns." replied the blushing young lady, "I think I er True Success in Life. the middle of it was an old log. Hi it like to take a bane. There are scores of living men who a natural horn chump, knew there whs another foe On the lug sat Kennedy and the might le mentioned who have atAnd he r.i.r for tie pieaelur. girl. tained to all that goes to make up "Dear little girl." the man was say-ln- success as it i:t commonly estimated, next time I'll come with you, In- says the Sin Fram-iscCm ley See that Kow looking over there? He used to ge to the same Chronicle. stead of mod leg yon down here." They have weal'll, social am! political culleiic that did. I wonder if li remembers me? Itm lei"h Ask him for the loan of five dollars." It was the trysting place. influence and isipularlty ; they have What do you think of It?" queried Darn 'em." said Mr. Salsbury everything that heart can wish, and Curley What Tor? Mr. Jenkins. he remembers you you won't gel it. Jim Mi!:--I- f Jenkins to himself, that's what's yet the man of tin vrmil of the averdown her here brought I every night!" age sort would not for a moment adAll could on a do it spoxe pinch. .loin T. Vs rule grift of Wilmington. Del., has been made the recipient or right. I'll go you. He carefully retraced his stops. mit that his success is to he comhe added, Only, $.Vi."'Jo in tlie will of a mail lie nursed when the latter was a poor miner "don't you use mo rough, and don't pared with thnt or the man who lias "Can you toll me." Inquired Mr. lost everything yet has served hia in tlie Rockies thirty cars ago. This has been made the text of 2Mi sermons you lilt mo on the beak. upon the wisdom of chanty. It might more fitly be the subject of an essay Salsbury Jenkins later, of the hotel country as a patriot, has undo the upon tlie wisdom of picking out likely subjcels fur charity. Next evening at sunset the girl set rlerk, what is the next train up to foundation of the state a little strongnut fur her customary walk through the city?" er. i he life id a common people a It makes n.e so glad." she said, "that few kings nowadays hav the right the The clerk looked up. Six sweeter and happier, has given ta glen. She always went alone. Mr. to put their subjects to duith without first giving them a trial." he replied. Then, seeing who his family ami Ills rriends an often offered Jerkins had Salsbury example "Yes." he replied, "it is rather a good thing, but there's no telling how te po with her. but, although excep- it was. But, my. vou're not going or unspotted rectitude, nml in doing t of old the back way soon the kings may go doing tilings hr providing them- tionally gracious to Mm at other so soon? What's matter? Not these tilings ha; misxr.l peisonal a selves with automobiles." limes, she had acknowledged his sug afraid of the girls?" snd pleasuri. n I half-opene- i- d -' l"-in- s 1 1 lit-ti- e fifty-five,- " |