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Show THE SEMI-WEEKI- OWWWVWVtrQ NAIM. Y TWO RECENT DEATHS B T. HYDE, rublUba. ACCIDENT Dr. Palmer, Many men who are not eminent ai g Lave a splendid touch." LONG ENDS LIFE. Presbyterian Minister. Dies at New Orleans. Rev. Dr. Henjamin Morgan Palmer, one of (lie oiliest and most widely known ITexhyterian ministers in this country, died at his home in New Or ping-pon- The new Atlantic City will be fireUnfortunately the lire its over. proof. Well-Know- llussell Rage is sick. Somebody must hare struck him on a put that wouldn't stay put. Interest mwj FACSIMILES ARE S ture of the Cuban republic. King Alfonso has appeared at a bullunattended by the nurse. He's getting to be a big boy now. fight Hetty Creen should bear in mind President Roosevelt's maxim that "no shots count but those that hit." IN DEMANDl Few Duplicate Copies of the Declaration of Independence. Several communications n eently reached the Record asking if the original copy of the Declaration of Independence was in existence, and if duplicate copies could be had. It is a rather curious fact that while facsimiles of the Declaration were common enough several years ago, and were largely uBed for advertising purposes, tbev are now very scarce so scarce a Philadelphia collector only lat&Jweek l;aid $10 for one bear ing the advertisement of a western railroad. '" The original document, preI served in git 8een the posses the Department of State in Washington, but It has become so faded as to be nearly illegible by reason of which a photographic reproduction would be valueless. James D. McBride had plates made and a copyright on them in 1874, but these plates were later destroyed by fire, and none is now in existence. Consequently the copies that have been preserved are constantly increasing in value. Philadelphia Record. hr The young King of Spain might have a much harder task than he finds before him. He lias no postmasters to appoint. Mr. Carmgie says be lias often regretted that he did not give enough. This ought to lie an easy habit to overcome. Kansas affords another example of the fact that it is impossible to convict a pretty woman before a Jury of young men. leans last week. Paralysis, following upon an accident in which the aged preacher was struck by a street car. was the immediate cause of death. Dr. Palmers injuries, while not serious in themselves, were aided in their destructive effects by his extreme age. He was unusually strong despite his years, and his physicians say that but for his deplorable accident lie might have continued in life fer a long time to come, lie was M years old on Jan. 35 last. OLD-TIM- ACTRESS E IN WANT. Miss Ada Gray, of East Lynne" Fame, Destitute and III. Miss Ada Gray, who was found destitute and ill in a small cottage on became uncoupled and he is now merely ften. Tribe. It is said that the coronation of Alfonso Xlil cost as much as would huy a battleship. Must have crowned him with a Panama hat. LIEUTENANT O. H. RASK A commission of scientists should be appointed to investigate tho of Mount Pelce and report liow many loads are left In the crater. Kordica and Melba have made up. This announcement will soon be followed by one disclosing the kind of make-uthey are In tho habit of using. p surface of the earth. The fact that the first woman lawyer to be admitted to practice law at the Texas liar is the mother of two pairs of twins establishes a difficult standard for future applicants. American anthracite coal is Raid to have gained a great hold in Gprinauy. Just at present the Germans may have to wait for their supply while the railroads 'confiscate1'' what is billed 10 them. They now throw old pans at people run Rutornohiles through the streets of New York. The wonder is that some of the missiles have been thrown with such swiftness as to hit the Hcorcliers. who As long as the public school children are taught, as they are taught now, to remember Memorial day, there is little danger that the grown people of the country will forget It, or what it means. If the commencement-dareform ers will only permit the sweet girl graduate to tie her valedictory essa with a white ribbon there will still lie some Joy left lri preparation for exercises of school. y g VISIT CENTRAL AFRICA. ardous Expedition. Mrs. Emma Shaw Colcleugh, a wide- Wildes at Cavite Raving that Lieut Olaf II. Itask of the marine corps died at Bacoor of cholera on the 29th Inst., and was buried at that place. Lieut. Rask was a native of Minnesota and entered tho marine corps in October, lS'.'ib He had been on the Asiatic station only since last December. ly known clubwoman and writer, has sailed on a trip at which most women would shrink in terror at the mere thought of it. She is bound on an exploring tour alone into the heart of Central Africa, to regions where no woman has ever been before. Mrs. Colcleugh is an intrepid traveler, who has seen many parts of the world and hence is quite without fear in her present undertaking. She Is a tall, slim, energetic looking woman, the picture of health and endurance. She is a clever writer as weil as a good Mowing fp, how thin Mr. Ilan-pac- k la now, remarked Mrs. Gabble to her husband, and he used to be so stout. " "Perhaps, chimed In little Willie, "Isnt it awful remembering his trouble with the bicycle tires perhaps his wife forgets to blow him up regular, like you said she useter." Tho Ur.t of the Argument. "Ixiok at the birds in the trees, said the man who wants to keep house; "they wouldn't think of living in a crowded tenement. Yes, answered his wife, "but look at the ants. They always live In an apartment house. And every one knows that ants are smarter than birds. Queen'a Valuable Opera Glasses. One of the most costly pair of opera glasses in the world Is owned by Queen Alexandra, fur whom they were specially made in Vienna. The barrels are of platinum and set with diamonds, sapphircH and rubies. Various estimates have been made as to Its probable worth. An expert in such matters fixes the value of the lorg$2ri,onu. Spiritualism Barred. The authorities nt Prague, Austria, have condemned a man to pay a fine, in adltion to undergoing week's Imprisonment. for spiritualism. The Governor-Genera- l has issued an order that in future persons taking part in spiritualistic seances will be sent to prison without the option of a fine l Teacher Spell rat. a Tommy Teacher Can't you renu mber thp last letter? Tommy No'ni. i earlier Now, think bard. What do I drink. Tommy I don't know, ma'am; I never saw you in a saloon. R-- Why the Doctor 1'alt Had, Dr. Hinghams badly use jJ up by hla last rase, eh? I should say so. He pronounced the patient (lend and sent tor the when she cairio to life. "He ought to lie glad of it. Not at all. Having pronounced ths glil dead, lie considered her recoiery a reflection on his skill.' The Hoiirrn Method. I am writing a story of a strug- Well, he has turned muny a gfrl's head. But he la neither handsome nor rich. "I know that." Then how did he turn girls heads? With bis preparations. He hair bleach. gling inventor." It wont do," answered the abruptInventors don't ly critical friend. struggle nowadays. They let the people who are eager to buy stock do the struggling. minu-factur- Caution Claim, la your wife one of those women who look at their husbands and say, I made a man of him? No," answered Mr. Meekton. "Henrietta is very unassuming. She merely she has done her best." A iys Oltilurate. M Capitulated. Do you mean to tell me that you and George are engaged at last? Mabel Yes; hu had quit spending money on me, and I thought 1 might a well let him propose. To Krap The tempter fount! il$ cLauifpuse quite deaf to his suggestions. 'er aut!" he whispered, a a he might to a mem man. If I "No," said the woman firmly. go more than thirty miles an hour, people will say it is because 1 don't look especially well in my automobile suit! ct j Maud ea , Two Kinds of Courage. Well, have you asked papa for my hand? Wooer (suffering with pain) No, every time I step into his office I lose y I allowed him my courage Dentists Daughter It fa to-da- again to pull a tooth. Ilnrrowml ilentR. Manager "i can't pay salaries this week." Aitov "Hut I must live! "Oil. now. don't get 1!" buli-head- e Life. j ; made him nervous. He piled a head of combustibles around and over It, scratched and applied a match and then made off with his mules to a safe distance. The explosion wbh rather slow In coming, hut a local newspaper man reports that when it came it was heard for five miles around. nette at t- J Got Rid of Loaded Shell. A week or so ago a farmer whose farm is near Stcvensville, Va., plowed up an old shell. His discovery prni-ticn- It now leaks out that the Germans living in Ireland were slighted h Prince Henry on his homeward Journey. Hut tills is more than offset by the way the Irish living in America entertained the royal visitor. hard-Lear- absen- Mrs. Colcleugh Has Undertaken a Haz- Mont Telee was 1MtO feet higher before the eruption than it is now. Mont Pclee, however, is not the first thing that has lowered itself by too much blowing. fi-e- Irt-par.- t-mindedly TO scientists have discovered a warm stratum of air 3.1.000 t above tho for tho staiou. ; "Well, Jimmy," said the ed employer, "I dont see how you will Oiteututlou. get out to any ball games this sea- - , Yes," said the woman with sharp son, as your grandmother died four eyts, "those people who moved in times last summer. nei.t door are inclined to make an "But, sir, answered Jimmy, granddisplay of their wealth. papa has married again, although In what way? was much against the wishes of the They go into the corner grocery an-family. order beefsteak In a loud tone of And still we wonder why men ad- voice." vance at one swift leap from office boy to the head of the concern. Judge. A Hot On. DIES. One of the humors of the season is the London Spectator, of all the Journals in the world, telling the kaiser how to win the heart of the United States. In view of the threatened advance in coal it Is cheering to know that Taro Kind- - of Conrngo What tho Cook Wm Doing. OIHro Hoy Wm Time to Dodge. "My brain is on lire," tragically exclaimed Mrs. Hull, as she threw herself down upon the sofa. Why don't you blow it out?" replied Hob, deeply absorbed in the evening newspapers. hair-biusAnd then lie dodged a flying City Island, New York, has been practically disabled by disease for several Officer of Marine Corps Succumbs to years, In fact, ever since her retireCholera in Philippines. ment from the stage. Fifteen or twee Secretary Moody has received a ty years ago Miss Gray was one of the cable message from Rear Admiral most popular actresses In America. She won fame by her fine emotional the only piece vniicu sue achieved any considerable success. She married Charles Tingay, well known in New York as an actor and writer. At present Miss Gray is occupying a room in Fordham Hospital. She will be taken care of by the Actors Fund. The beef trust is expected to obey cheerfully that portion of the injunction which restrains it from arbitrarily lowering prices. t. "Yes," she answered; "by the way, somebody was telling me the other day that you once went into a hou-- e where a man was beating his wife and tried to interfere. How did you get that scar over your left eye? they are placed in sale custody as suits such lion; liable insignia, and "when Johnny comes marching home again" they will lie all tile fresher for not being carried through dusty lands and trying rivers. The men whose duty it would have been to carry them and stand by them to the last are nowadays employed in less sentimental If more useful duties. The governor of Mocha' has been kidnaped, but his captors have not yet Indicated the grounds upon whicli they will settle. to Ha Told th. U.a Wmi Hard to Uat Ahead of in buplit Degrois in-- Ills Kiisli. "Fools, he Mid, "nihli in whore angels fear to tread, you know. No British Banners Wave in Battle. Home may not know that the colors are not now taken into action. Before a corps proceeds on service press dispatch says that Gen. e is undone. Ills hyphen Nt K where he had been operated upon for a friend appndicitis, a you. g nia.ii the other day. Congratulate me," said the friend. ' Harvard has made me M. A." That's nothing," answered the "I've been made M. A., oo." By whom?" asked the friend In astonishment. By Dr. Meliuriic.-- , was the reply. "I'm Minus a:i Appendix." New York Trlottne. JESTS ORIGINAL AND BORROWED WORTHY OF PERUbAL. Didnt se-cur- John W. Gates says an honest man baa no business in Wall street. Particularly if ho is on the losing side HD Just discharged from L3 hospital, yvwvwwwvwwww tr So far no one has shown any interest in Urn. Weyler's views on the fu- A PuDHg n France la arranging to lx1 a sister to all the other nations, with one or two exceptions. Vrihe-Trib- I 01 S UTAH LOQAN. THE HUMOR OF LIFE. "You shouldn't judge a man by the cigars he gives you," remarked tho philosopher. "Some one may have given them to him." Cincinnati Coi mercial Tribune. "So you wisli to marry my daughter. Do you drink or gamble?" Well, replied the young man, "I'm willing to take a chance in the marriage lottery. Indianapolis Sun. talker and her letters from Cuba during the months that followed the Spanish war gave some of the best and truest pictures of conditions there turned out by any correspondent. Wants Odd Name Changed. Ervin Pfuhl. a citizen of West Pitts-ton- , Pa., has filed a petition in court asking that hla name he changed to Folmer. The petitioner says he desires the change because the name he now hears readily lends Its aid to the manufacture of various silly attempts at punning, such as "foor and "full, and besides It is not easily pronounced, all of which is very annoying. "Daddy's out thcr in the ha'l, an he says the devil's to pay!" "Tell him not to worry over it." replied tho Bell Boy (banging the door) Hey. mother; "the devil won't lie hard ou there! The gas Is escaping. his own!" Atlanta Constitution. I Reuben Hayrick Wal, I guess I locked ther know it. Theta why "That girl can't talk a Jiule bit." door. "Is that so?" Quite true. The only thing she said to me the whole evenSimilarly Hullt. ing was 'No' and had to propose to I understand hlppopota-- a her to icJlgger Strav get her to say that. means river horse. I wonder 'f Stories. re's any Latin name fur sea dog Instance? Jaggles Do you think that minister Maybe that's what has hingumbob profited any by visiting all the Igator means. An alligator looks gambling houses? Waggles Sure s a sort of submarine dachshund." thing. He's learned where to redeem all the chips lie finds in the collection Th Limit. basket. New York Sun. Mr. Van Albert Great Scott! Why are not all these dishes washed? Miss Shapely (as she misses her Mrs. Van Aloert Because the cook drive at the second tee and fails) la using the kltehen table. (h, Fred, conic and help me. I know Mr. Van Albert In what way? my ankle is turned. Fred (looking Mrs. Van Albert She Ih playing a down admiringly) Yes, and mighty with the policeman. well turned, tmi.---- . Judge. game of 1 m ping-pon- g |