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Show TIIE HUMOR OF LIFE. 9W:aljfcMNfr ams-- SCIENTIFIC x -- , httV -- w DlA5OroM The bicycle limp" presents a most Interesting demonstration of a great Bclentific piinciple, which plays its part in preventing the earth from dropping into the sun, and the inoon from being precipitated upon th earth, no less than in keeping the rider and his wheel from falling to the ground when he hangs, head downward, in midair, at the top of the loop. Centrifugal force is the agent In this aeemingly miraculous feat, a force that has many appliances In everyday life, some of which like the swinging of a bucketful of water around, the head without spilling astonish the uninitiated, while others are so familiar that nobody Btops to think of them. But when applied in the case now under consideration, centrifugal force presents itself in a most sensational form. Yet, thrilling though it is to watch the bold rider defying gravitation, like a fly on the celling, without anything except his motion to hold him In place, the natural law that he obeys is extremely simple and perfectly certain in its operation. If he observes all the requirements of that law it will never fail him. so thqt his Bafety depends entirely upon him-el- f. Talk Oter tha Telephone. "Do you believe that man will ever bs able to talk over tho telephone without wires? Pshaw, inau! What's the matter with you? I beat that all hollow yesterday when (be local company's agent called to persuade me to put one in my house. We talked over the telephone for an hour wilhout even talking on the same line! INTEDEdTlHG-DEnorjoJT&rno- con-eeri- 'CEIIT&mJGJLL clear, and must retain control over his muscles in order to hold his balance and guide his wheel. But this is only a beginning. As he rines, in a moment he is going straight upward, and the pressure swiftly diminishes. When he whirls across the overhead portion of the track and reaches the center of the top of the curve his head is down, his feet are up and his birycle Is on top of him. They are sustained only by centrifugal force. Gravitation is pulling them straight downward with a force of 200 pounds. If the centrifugal force but slightly exceeds gravitation at this point, the rider, if he has time to analyze his sensations, must feel almost as if he were floating like a feather, deprived of nearly all weight. This is the critical point. If the calculations have been correct, there will be enough velocity remaining when the top is reached to counterbalance gravitation, and, even if the excess is slight, the rider and his wheel will pass on and, once over the center, they are henceforth secure against a fall. They will remain on the track during the downward journey. Theoretically, with a loop 20 feet in diameter, and neglecting resistance, they must reach the top with a velocity of nearly six feet a second. In practice the velocity would have to be considerably greater. But consider the effects upon mind and body of the rapid changes of apparent weight that the rider undergoes. At the bottom of the loop his apparent weight was instantaneously Increased to a prodigious amount, almost crushing him down upon the handle bar. This lasts but a moment, and then, almost instantaneously, his again weight drops upon him, and at the top of the loop he seems to weigh comparatively little, but only to be a second later again bent over the handle bars by the pushing pressure, as the wheel, having gained momentum, swings upon the slope leading to the stopping place. It is apparent, from what has been said, that the principal peril involved is personal in its origin. The rider must not allow his head to swim, or his muscles to relax their control over the wheel. Given perfect the danger is reduced to a minimum. The same force that carries the rider circle would around his twenty-focarry him, through empty space, completely around the earth, if he could start from a mountain top with a velocity of five milps, instead of a few yards, per second. The needed velocity varies with the radius of the circle traversed. Prof. Garrett P. Scrvlss in llearst's Chicago American. He must develop a centrifugal force great enough to counterbalance his weight when he is at the top of th? circle. Mathematics, knowing the pise of the loop, is able to tell him how to develop the force needed. The force depends upon the velocity with which he moves. He acqnires that velocity, not by pedaling, but by riding down a steep slope. How high must the starting point be? A general rule, applying to all such cases, is that the elevation of the point from which he starts must be to the elevation of the top of the loop in a ratio exceeding that of five to four. The air resistance and the friction must all be carefully allowed for, and this is the business of the engineer who plans the apparatus. Accordingly, if the loop Is twenty feet high, the starting platform must be more than twenty-fiv- e feet in height, and the acquired velocity must exceed that named above. Of course, the loop may be less than twenty feet in height and then all the other dimensions will be proportionately reduced. It is probable that, in the actual case considered, the velocity with which the rider arrives at the bottom of the slope and begins the ascent of the circular loop is at least thirty miles an hour. This velocity immediately and rapidly falls off as he commences the ascent of the steepening curve, so that when he reaches the top he is moving only fast enough to impart a centrifugal force exceeding his weight (or the effect of gravitation) by a margin sufficiently large to Insure hiB safety. As the bicycle Btrikes the curve of the loop and begins to ascend, the wheels are preened against the track with tremendous force and the rider is pitching forward with au energy which only practice and trained muscles can enable him to withstand. It is as if the weight of half a dozen men bad suddenly been thrown upon him and his mnehine. If we estimate lie actual weight of bicycle and rider at 200 pounds, then it can be shown that their combined weight, or rather their ENCOURAGEMENTS TO MATRIMONY pressure upon the track, owing to cen- Canes Where Blight lrovnratlnu Censed a Kpldemlr. trifugal force, becomes, as they begin the ascent of thp loop, more than u It would scent that at times matrithousand pounds; And this, too, at mony only needs to be encouraged to the minimum speed theoretically re- become epidemic. The mayor of a town in Southern France, not satisfied quired to carry them around. In practice this pressure may be considerably with the manner in which his young greater. people were shying at marriage, ofHere, then, would seem to be a point fered a reward of 100 francs to every of special danger. The rider must be couple under the age of 24 who wore prepared for this Instantaneous in- joined in wedlock during his term of crease of virtual weight. He has to office. It cost the good mayor many beep his nerves steady and his held hundreds of dollars, but ths scheme ot I And no Got IU "You have a lovely hrnd," remarked the youth, as he grasped the fair maidJOKES AND JESTS GROUND OUT BY ens hash mixer. "Do you really think so?" she THE OFFICIAL HUMORISTS. queried In a tone that was calculated to push him over the hurdle. Baa Captain lias Ilia Own Idee of hats what, answered the unsusPlratea- - Pat Explain III 1 Beaming pecting victim of circumstances. Discourtesy Prufaaalonal Hen TeU of admire a beautiful hand, but mine is Troublesome Tr.o. apt to be mistaken for a ham. "I wish I had one like yours.1' "Then," suggested the willing maid, llad n t'e I or Him. the matter with bracing up "whats The photographer labored indusand asking for It?" k a He out Jumping-jactriously. got P. 8. They are now selecting the and various other toys, and in the furniture. course of half an hour or so be had the baby crowing and laughing. Then Tho Proper Ailjevllve. he tock the picture. Miss Mobile Well, Martha, how ! "Youre a wonder," said the father. "I flatter myself," returned the pho- your husband now? Martha-- lo ly, miss, poly. Hes got tographer, "that 1 am pretty good at that exclamatory rheumatism. my business." Miss Mobile You mean inflamma"The best ever. asserted the father. "If you can du that with the baby us tory rheumatism, Martha. Exclamaa regular thing. I'd give you hoard and tory is to cry out. Martha (with solemn conviction) lodging free just to have you in my Thats it, mum, thats it! He dont do house nights." nothing but holler." Christian Register. Katurnlly He Was Interested, cor"You talk mighty glib about the Ready for tho DramatWt- ruption in this ward, interrupted a Husband That is strange! Here Ballow faced man iu the audience. "What business is it of yours? Have are four of Clyde Fitch's plays printyou got any permanent investments in ed in this morning's taper. Wife-H- ow is that? this ward?" Ilusltand Well, there's a kleptoYes, I have," thundered the orator. "Fellow citizens, 1 once lent that man maniac story on the front page, a will contest on the second, a funeral on a dollar." the third, and a christening on tho Iia was not Interrupted again. fourth. worked, and young unmarried people became scarce in the community. When the marriages in a certain Alsatian town fell below the average the authorities hit upon a curious inducement for tardy couples to seek the matrimonial altar. They publicly announced that all people who married within a certain time would be exempt from local taxation for a period of five years. A marriage fever swept through the town at once. n A Austrian nobleman was anxious to encourage matrimony among the peasants on his estate. He undertook to provide every bridegroom with tobacco for Hie and every bride with a pair of gloves once a year as long as she lived. TTiIb generous offer acted like a charm, and soon there was scarcely an unmarried man on the estate. Nearly every eligible male was in the enjoyment of domestic bliss. A Troublesome Trio. "The most troublesome member of my flock," said the parson, is a young woman who wauls a husband. "My most troublesome client," said woman the lawyer, is a middle-age- d who wants a divorce. The most troublesome patient I have," said the physician, 1b a spinster of uncertain age who doesn't know what she wants." Tbe Discretion of Pat. well-know- Priest Pat, didn't you see me hurrying after you before you ran Into that Baloon? Why didn't you stop long enough for me to speak to you? Pat (wiping his mouth with the back of bis hand) Sure, your River-encI had only the price of one drink. BY PRECOCIOUS PUPILS umbus discovered was that he had not the faintest idea that he had discovered America. Washington said to the soldiers at Valley Forge that they that are whole need not a physician. The Chesapeake attacked the Shannon and drove her up the Shenandoah Valley, then the Shannon atacked the Chespeake and the war ended In a battle. At the battle of New Orleans three of the British officers were killed, on of them mortally. The Romans left the Britons low spirited and The Parthenon was UBed as a powder magazine during the Trojan war. The outline of Greece is very rugged, surrounding all the country or nearly all. Tho Persians hurried across the Hellespont, burning it behind them. A great many of our authors were born there. Howthorne, Thoreau, and the battle of Concord. Dickens married, but not successfully. The chief elements of English are Anglo and Saxon. The tlttee great literary works of the Hebrews were the Translation of the Ohl Testament into the New and several great histories, these they wrote on paprug paper made from that crest-falle- n. Here is some delicious cough Miss Wisclelgh licious cough. But I haven't a Money Mot de- Lmt Mr. Lakeside (gloomily) The bookkeeper has run off with all my money, and we may have to go to the poor-hous- e. Mrs. Lakeside No need of that, my dear. Well get a divorce, and you marry the woman who got $50,000 out of you in that breach of promise suit, and Ill marry the bookkeeper. Thought It Was Mllllaory. What's that bill: To flowers for church, $089? asked the treasurer of the official board. call That is for the Easter flowers," ex- A lloston Girl. Granger You would hardly d Miss Pole a very person? On ? the Farmer contrary, she is awfully cold. If she should shed a tear, you may be sure It would be a hailstone. Warm-hearted- Soma Humorous Replies to s Member of Simple Questions, One of the greatest thingB that Col- Clerk candy. e, warm-hearte- ANSWERS Not That Kind, All In Imagination, Young Husband Im just about dead putting down this carpet Wife The carpet is not heavy. "No, but I have to work In sueh a cramped position." "Nonsense! Just imagine you are on your bicycle." Thrown Against IU "He 1b satisfied now that this is a hard, hard world. "Why, hes rich, and has everything he could wish for. "I know, but ha's been thrown out of his automobile several times lately." . AU Kinds or Flretee. plained the chairman. "What did you do? bat for the building? I'aele Try to get a Judge. Kxpaain. Drug Clerk We don't happen to have the drugs named in this prescription, but we have others just as good. Customer I suppose thats all right; but what a fool I was to pay the doctor $3 for that prescription. That's what bothers me. Tha Inventor Modern Way, writing a story of a struggling inventor. It won't do, answered the abruptly critical friend. "Inventors dont struggle nowadays. They let the people who are eager to buy stocks do the struggling." I am Far Falara Reference. 'Aunt Alice, were you very bad when you were little? No, Indeed, my dear! I tried to he very good. Well, I think its much better to be bad, so as to have something interesting to talk about when you grow up." Life. Me Intention to Leave. Stern Parent I suppose you are aware, young man, that I cease to provide for my daughter when she leaves my roof? Suitor Oh yes; we have settled about that Berthan and I. We have decided to make our home with you. weed. Cognate born together. Example Cats are cognate. Cats cognate together. Append hang to. Example: Ulys ses appended to tho raft. She returned his affection as much as she thought prudent, considering the hasty temper of her brother. The president of the society was magnanimously elected. d God tempers the wind to the Endeavor lamb. Christian World. short-horne- Wealthy Woman Ioor 1ajrera, A woman examined hi a New York bankruptcy court last week said she had failed in her livery business because, while In a fashionable (or, as she said "swell") neighborhood, her patrons didnt pay her. She said shs lost $73,000. Too Late. Miss Romantique (on shipboard) Oh! by the way, captain, were you ever boarded by a pirate? CapL Gruffe Yes, and she charged me $5 a day for a room on the sixth floor. "When I was your ago I didn't have the advantages you have," said the father sagely. Well, father," replied the son, "it't too late to kick about it now. Yoi thos should have thought about things at tho time. The Count's I mprpoalon. Aaronntad Fur. Gladys Why Is It that ministers usually marry so young? Harold Oh, that's the only game of hance theyre allowed to play. Puck. Edith They say her husband, thi count, acts dreadfully. Ethel Yes; seems to think he wai admitted to the United States free oi duty. Life. Evident Relationship. Had Mot Rvarhed the Limit, father of the three children, Customer Th la steak Is the toughAllee May Burst, James Wood Bunt est thing I'vt ever had here, waiter. and Henry Will Burst Is evidently reWaiter (confidentially) Then yen lated to a dynamite factory. aint tried our roaRt chicken, sir. The |