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Show Saturday, October 30, 19438 THE “>t Guard Mountings | By Ernest Bramwell The Comedy Of the Key 1st Sgt.: ‘Just a moment.” (places hand over mouthpiece and turns to others) “Now what?” Lt.: (rousing himself from SEAGULL Page 8 They’re Sisters Under the Fur deep thought) ‘‘Well—as much as I hate to, I’ll have to see if I can borrow the duty officer’s key. Tell them I’ll be right down (un- der breath) I hope.’’ (exit.) PROLOGUE 1st Sgt.: (into phone) ‘‘Just Forwant of a nail, the shoe was sit tight and we’ll be right down. (under breath) I hope.”’ lost; Packers: ‘What was that For want of a shoe, the horse was last?’’ lost; For want of a horse, the rider was lost; For want of a rider, the battle waslost; For want of a battle, the country was lost; And all for the want of a twopenny nail. —Borrowed A Near Tragedy In a Prologue And Three Acts Cast of Characters Master Key—Theonly important character Human Beings—Supporting cast only Setting Acts one and two: Interior of the main guard house at NSD. Act three: Hospital room in dispensary at NSD, one daylater. Time Almost any afternoon and evening during swing shift. ACT ONE te (Rising curtain shows the Lt., two sergeants, and patrolman of swing shift seated around desk. The last of the day shift are leaving with lunch buckets under arm.) Chief Holmes: (coming from inner office with lunch bucket in hand on his way home) ‘‘You fellows, and especially Master Key, are in for a busy shift.’’ (All look at him inquiringly). ‘‘There’s quite a bit of overtime tonight getting a special shipment ready for a midnight train. See you tomorrow.”’ (exit) Lt. (takes Master Key from drawer of desk and inspects it along with the metal ring and chain to which it is attached) ‘Howdo you feel, Mister Master Key? We hope you're fit for it looks as if you’re going to be busy.’ (phone rings). ist Sgt.: (answering) ‘‘Guard office. 1st Sgt. talking.” Phone voice: “This is train control talking. Can you send a guard with key to open X-2, to let in a train?”’ 1st Sgt.: “Surely. Any besides X-2?” Ist. Sgt.: ‘“‘Nothin, nothing at all. Goodbye.”’ (hangs up) 2nd Sgt. “I hope it works.”’ (phone rings janglingly. Both Sgts. eye it piteously for moment before 1st Sgt. picks it up.) 1st Sgt. ‘‘Guard office, Sgt. ...... spedking.”’ Phone voice: ‘‘This is Patrolmanee22. calling. There’s a fire alarm ringing in P-5. Can you bring key down so we can investigate?”’ Ast. Sgt.: “I’d be delighted except for two things. Both trucks are gone and keyisn’t here.’’ Patrolman: ‘‘Well, what shall I do?” Ist. Sgt. ‘‘Keep a close watch until I can get down on bicycle. If you see any smokeorflames, call the fire department even if they don’t have a key.’ (exit hurriedly) 2nd Sgt.: (stands up, yawns, stretches.) ‘‘Nice day. No key, no transportation, and no one to send out if another call came. I might just as well lock up.” (phone rings. 2nd Sgt. glares at it melovently for a minute and then gingerly picks up receiver) “Guard Hdqtrs., 2nd Sgt. speaking.”’ Phone voice: ‘‘This is the Lt. The D. O. is out with their key. Have you heard from ours?’’ 2nd Sgt.: ‘‘No, not yet.’’ Lt.: “Tll have to see if I can find Lt. Commander Kessenich and borrow his key.’’ 2nd Sgt. (laconically) ‘‘Good luck.”” (hangs up. Phone rings again immediately). 2nd Sgt. (answering) ‘‘Guard Hdqtrs. 2nd Sgt. speaking.’’ Phone Voice: “‘This is Security calling. There is a young lady here wholeft her coat and car keys in M-8. Will you send a guard with key to take her down to get them. She is in a terrible hurry.” 2nd Sgt.: “I can sympathize with her because I’m in a hell of a hurry myself.’’ Security (sternly): ‘Sergeant, explain yourself. Of all the impertinence.’’ 2nd Sgt.: “I’m just plain stuck —that’s all, and I’m in a hurry to ring down the curtain before Train Control: ‘‘Yes, several.’’ someone else wants Master Key, 1st Sgt.: ‘‘O. K. We'll be right a truck and a guard. Goodbye.”’ down.’’ (Cradles receiver, and (Curtain) hands Master Key to Patrolman) “Better stay with them until they ACT TWO are thru.’’ (exit patrolman). Timne: Two Hours Later 2nd Sgt. ‘“‘That means Master (The rising curtain reveals the Key isgone for several hours.’’ Lt. ‘Right. I think I'll call the Lt. and both sergeants seated fire department and see if we around desk.) Lt. (smiling): ‘Well, I feel can borrow their key.’’ (picks up phone and gets connection) ‘“This pretty good. We were lucky to ist 22e at guard hdqtrs. May get out of that mess. I couldn’t find the Lt. Commander, but by we borrow your key?” F. D.: ‘Sorry, but the elec- sheer accident the Packers ran into him so they got into Y-4 for tricians just borrowed ours.’’ their paper.”’ Lt.: “For how long?’’ Ist Sgt.: ‘‘Good thing that fire F. D.: ‘They said they would alarm was false, but if I have need it most of the evening.’’ Lt.: ‘Thanks, anyway. If it to take many more bike rides comes back, call us will you?’’ like that one, I’m going to strap a pillow on the seat.” (hangs up dejectedly) 2nd Set.: ‘‘That sounds like 2nd Sgt.: “I wonder if Security got the girl in M-8?”’ (Goes to that.’’ (phone rings, all jump) ist Sgt. (answering) ‘“‘Guard window and looks out). office, Ist Sgt. talking.’’ Lt.: “Maybe they broke a winPhone voice: ‘‘This is packers dow.”’ calling. Can you send a guard 2nd Set.: “Maybe. I wish Train with key to open Y-4 for us. control would hurry and get We've got to get some water- through with Key. The Patroleproofing paper.”’ men posted on the four timeist Sgt. ‘Sorry but Key is out. clock storehouses have phoned We’ll get down as soon as pos- that these buildings are secure.” Lt. ‘We can’t lock them up sible.”’ Packers: ‘‘We’ve got to have and re-post the men until Key it right now. We’re working over- gets back.’’ (Looks at watch and time to get some stuff ready for then proceeds with rising indig» a special shipment and we’re nation). ‘‘Master Key has been gone nearly three hours. Doesn’t short on time.”’ 2nd Sgt. (picks up phone) “Guard Hdqtrs, 2nd Sgt. talking.”’ Phone voice: “This is the plumber talking. Can you open R-3 for me? I have to fix some leaky plumbing.”’ 2nd Sgt. ‘‘Well! Well! Well! So you finally called. I knew it was you the moment the phone rang, but why are you late calling?’’ Plumber: ‘‘You trying to kid somebody? What d’y meanlate, and how did you know it was me?”’ 2nd Sgt. (sweetly) ‘‘You were late because there was approximately one-half minute elapsed between your call and the one preceeding it, and I knew it was you because you were the only FEARFULLYlooking up at the picture (in a book) of a lioness, this little kitten might be thinking, “How did I get here?’’ The kitten is one of four who live with their mother cat in the basement of the administration building. They are very wild, and it took major strategy to catch this one — just ask the dcctor who patched up the photographer! he realize his importance? Why does he have to always be gone. What could we do if something happened to him? Answer me that.” 2nd Sgt.: ‘‘Yes, but you can tell the machine pertaining to that special shipment tonight, and I must have it now. What can you do?”’ 2nd Set. ‘‘All I can thinkofsir, is to get on a bike and try to find the truck that’s trying to the truth, even in a play.” 1st Sgt.: ‘“Yeh! Someone might find the Key.’’ (hangs up quickget interested in our problem ly.) Lt. “What did he say?”’ and do something about it.” 2nd Sgt. “‘I thought I had better (Phone rings. Ist Sgt. picks it up). “‘Guard office, Sgt. ——— hang up before I heard.” Lt. “Sometimes I wish I were talking.”’ “This is Carleson, labor fore- in 1-A.”’ (phone rings, and Lt. up receiver) “Guard man. Say, we have a couple of picks pickups in front of the garage Hdatrs., Lt. talking.’’ to be run in. Will you come down Phone voice: ‘‘This is Patroland unlock it for us?’”’ Monee talking. Say, Lt. I 1st Sgt.: ‘Just as soon as Mas- need a relief—right now.”’ ter Key comes back.”’ Lt. ‘‘“Haven’t you a door open?”’ Carleson: ‘‘That’s what you Patrolman: ‘‘No sir.’’ told me last night, and when Lt. ‘That makesit about right. you didn’t do it, someone borrowed my pick-up and must have Twenty-eight doors open tonight run it all night. It was still hot and you wouldn’t have even one of them.”’ whenI got here this morning.”’ Patrolman: “What do you 1st Sgt.: “If you can tell me how to unlock the garage or any mean?” Lt. ‘““Never mind me. All I can other place without a key I’ll be say is to just sit tight.’’ (hangs right down.”’ Carleson: ‘‘O. K. You win. I’ll up) (phone rings). 2nd Sgt. ‘‘Guard Hdgqtrs., 2nd have to leave them outside again, but if anything happens to them Set. talking.”’ Phonevoice: ‘‘This is the packtonight, watch out.’’ (Phone ers again. We’ve got to get into clicks). Ist Sgt. (hanging up): ‘He S-8.It’s rush for that shipment tonight.”’ seems slightly unhappy.”’ 2nd Sgt. ‘How nice to hear Lt. (to Ist Sgt.): ‘‘Maybe you had better jump in ‘Lumbering from you again. I was just going Liz’s’ understudy and see if you to call you.”’ can find Master Key.”’ Packers: ‘‘Why?”’ Ist Sgt.: ‘All right.”’ CHxib): 2nd Sgt. “To see if you could (Phone rings). keep a secret — a deep, dark Lt. (answers): ‘‘Guard office, secret that everyone knows by Lt. talking.” now.’’ Phone Voice: ‘‘This is PatrolPackers: ‘How can I keep man ——— reporting from something that everyone else Post 35. Are you ready to come has? But look here, you’ve got down and lock those doors I ten me all off the subject. What found open?”’ I called up for— Lt. “Sometime tonight I hope. 2nd Sgt. (interrupting) ‘Yes, We’ve only had twenty-eight yes, I know all about it, and the doors reported to date, so if Key secret is that we haven’t the Key doesn’t come back soon there will to come down and let you in. be open doors when weleaveto- Goodbye.” (the Sgt. hangs up tonight.” (Hangs up). just as duty officer enters. Both 2nd Sgt. ‘‘What a life.’ (starts Lt. and Sgt. come to attention) writing on a pad). D. O. (walking to center of Lt. (watching) ‘‘What are you room) “‘As you were.’’ (checks writing?”’ post-assignment sheet he is car2nd Sgt. “Writing down the rying) “There are four of your dates we’re making for Key.” men I can’t find on their posts. Lt. ‘‘Good idea, and while you Let’s see now— are at it, give them each a priLt. “The reason is sir, they ority rating.’’ (phone rings) haven’t been reposted from the 2nd Sgt. (answers) ‘Guard four time-clock storehouses.’’ Hdqtrs., 2nd Sgt. speaking.”’ DELO: (surprised) “They Phonevoice: ‘‘This is the duty haven’t? But here it is within a officer.. The other D. O. has our couple of hours of midnight, and Key out on his round, and I must two of our most vulnerable posts get in the teletype room imme- are left unprotected. What is the diately. Will you please bring reason?’’ your Key over?’’ Lt. “The whole thing is, sir, 2nd Sgt. “I’m sorry, sir, but that we haven’t had Key here to Master Key is out with the train lock those storehouses, and we crew. We’re trying to locate it, have orders to leave the men on and when we do I'll be right them until locked.’’ (D. O. starts over.”’ to say something, but changes D. O. ‘But this is too urgent his mind and exists). (phone to wait. There is a message on rings). one left. Goodbye.’’ (2nd Sgt. hangs up) Lt. “I think I’ll go home, I’m starting to feel sick.”’ 2nd Sgt. ‘Stick around. We really should be through the worst of it.’’ (phone rings) Lt. (answers) ‘‘Guard office. Lt. talking.”’ Phone voice: ‘‘This is 1st Sgt. talking. I finally found Master Key and the patrolman with him.’’ Lt. ‘‘Hallelujah.’’ 1st Sgt. ‘‘Where shall I start?”’ Lt. ‘‘Well, let’s see.’’ (reaches for pad) “It looks as if the D. O.’s call to get in the teletype room has top billing. After that in order of importance, I would suggest; packers in S-8, very urgent; secure the four time-clock storehouses, letting Patrolman eee re-post the men nowstation on them; contact all patrolmen, locking twenty-eight doors; let the plumber in R-3, immediately; put the two pick-ups in the garage, pronto; and last but not least, open a door for Pa- trolman............ who wants a relief immediately if not sooner.’’ ist. Sgt. “Is that all? What’s the matter, are we on a diet?”’ Lt. ‘Well, good luck; you’ve got a whole hour to do it in.’’ (hangs up). 2nd Sgt. ‘‘I wonder what there is to this special shipment tonight that everybody’s so conserned about?’’ Lt. ‘‘The way things look right now, I hope that if true, it is not too important.’ (door opens and marine Sgt. enters) M.S. ‘‘Our patrol jeeps are out of gas. Would you meet them at the service station and fill them for us?’’ 2nd Set. ‘““My gosh! I forgotall about you fellows when I was talking to the plumber.”’ M.S. ‘‘And just what (scowls) has the plumber to do with our jeeps needing gas?” Lt. (intervening) ‘‘The fact is sergeant, we haven’t had Key in here all evening. We have a dozen jobs piled up, all waiting on Mr. Key.”’ M.S. ‘“‘But the security of the base demands this patrol. Without this patrol the security is jeapordized.”’ 2nd Sgt. ‘‘Yeah, the vicious cy- cle: no Key, no gas; no gas, no jeep; no jeep, no patrol; no patrol, no security.’’ M. S. (goes to door, turns) “Well, its your job to get us gas when we need it. I’ll expect to meet you at the pumpsin five minutes.”’ 2nd Set. “‘Lt., I feel your sickness coming on me.’’ Lt. (cheerfully) ‘‘Come now! Mr. Keyis out working, isn’t he? Everything is going to be all right.’’ 2nd Sgt. “If Mr. Key works faster than He has ever done before we can’t hope to get caught up until three hours after we go off shift.’’ Lt. “You worry too much. I tell you that everything is going to be all right.’’ (phone rings. Lt. answers) ‘“‘Guard office, Lt. speaking.” Phone voice: ‘‘This is 1st Set. I’m at the Ad Bldg.”’ Lt. “How are you doing?’’ (Continued on Page 4) |