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Show THE MAN EVERYBODY KNOWS Yet No One Has Ever Seen Him! Just a Littlem M & Smilp By ELMO SCOTT WATSON T)RUCE BARTON once L) wrote a book which became a best-selldespite the fact that more than ten -- er million copies of the Bible are printed and distributed every year, not to mention the fact that the New Testament is available in 316 lan- cmas Nast, who drew this cartoon, wrote on the bottom of it: None. Abraham Lincoln. harity to All, With Malice Toward Girl Served Three Years With Continental Army Deborah Mass., 18 years before she cut off her hair, put on mens clothes, took the name of Robert Shurtleff and succeeded in enlisting in the Continental army as a common soldier. A sabre cut in the forehead and a shot in the shoulder did not take her out of action and it was three years before an attack of brain fever, while she was serving with Washington gave her a discharge and his thanks. Congress voted her a grant of lands and a pension. She married Benjamin Gannett, a farmer, near Sharon, Mass., and settled down to being a good wife and mother. ING light, the sight, star gems the si) bright, iming afar ig nigh, lie night. rest! ines, West, night lulls the da y ier breast. goodnightJ way, rest. Army Bugle sampson was born Call guages and dialects. For his book was the story of Jesus Christ and he called it The Man Nobody Knows. I sing of the man whom everybody knows but whom no one has ever seen. Come to think of it, that should be men rather than man, for theres more than one of him. Take Elmer, for instance that is, take him if you can find him. If you can, youre a better detective than the members of the American Legion. Theyve been trying to locate Elmer for the last Watching the Legion Parade in Chicago in 1933. five or six years and they havent succeeded yet. Elmers fame spread from the the typical villain you know, Does the crime go down in the When the Legionnaires descend Legion to the country at large. that tall, dark man with the white records as having been commitupon a city for their annual con- New York newspapers reported teeth which gleam beneath his ted by a party or parties unvention, its only a question of that the city was in the grip of long, black mustache as he known? For a little while, pertime before some buddy raises a new wisecrack having to do hisses at the shrinking heroine haps, but when the authorities are his voice above the hubbub of hotel lobbies and corridors to utter the bellowed query: Wheres Elmer? From that moment on, until the last veteran leaves for his home town, theres scarcely an hour, day or night, when that question isnt being repeated. What if its never answered? They keep on asking it just the same. Second only to the ignorance of Elmers whereabouts is the baffling mystery of his identity. Who was this Elmer, who gave the Legion a slogan, a watchword, a rallying cry. Rare, indeed, is the Legionnaire who cant answer that question, even though the accuracy of his answer is doubtful. Sure, I know all about him, one of them will assure you. He was a fella from Massachusetts and he brought his with the whereabouts and health of Elmer. One highbrow reader wrote to the Herald Tribune in protest against this malignant growth and contagious stupidity. But the scorn of highbrows has never yet halted the spread of a popular phrase and Wheres Elmer? seems destined to become a familiar American byword, its common and widespread use enjoying a curious revival each year at the time of the annual American Legion convention and immediately thereafter. Elmer may never be found nor his identity established but enduring fame is his as the prime example of the man whom everybody knows but whom no one has ever seen. Have you a friend named Dalton and, if so, have you ever Curse laughingly exclaimed Service Law ought Out 24 Million tive first selective service or ft law of the World war was May 13, 1917. It applied to a of the ages of twenty-on- e and was later for two supple-- y drafts (June 5, 1918, and 24, 1918) in addition to the draft of June 5, 1917. By a ly, inclusive, ?d to provide I you know. For Old John is the fellow who always has to be ahead. If he isnt always ahead, at least he thinks he always ought to be. Just what was the genesis of Old John Santa Fe is unknown. According to one story, he was born as the result of a situation in Forth Worth, Texas, where the Cotton Belt and the Santa Fe lines intersect and the Cotton uses the Santa Fe station. trains on the two lines are approaching the station at approximately the same time, the Cotton Belt train, even though it should be nearer to the station than the Santa Fe train, waits until the other pulls in before drawing up to discharge its passengers. From this practice, presumably, the mythical character of Old John Santa Fe and the tradition that he always has to be ahead was created by the railroad men and by them made familiar to the public. A Perpetual Plaintiff. Mention of Old John Santa Fe suggests another famous John whom everybody knows but whom no one has ever seen. In one of the early books of English legal forms, a typical case of ejectment was cited in which the plaintiff, to whom the name of John Doe was given, brought suit to force the defendant, a certain Richard Roe, (also a fictitious name) fo vacate property belonging to the aforesaid Doe. Its probable that there was once a real John Doe and perhaps he was a clerk or other minor official of the Court of the Kings Bench in which the action of ejectment originated. If he was a real person, the facts about him have been lost in the mists of antiquity but that doesnt mean that he and his opponent are any the less well known. Until 1852, when ejectment was abolished by the Common Law Procedure act, Messrs. Doe and Roe were involved in every case of this kind. Even after that date they continued their litigious course, both in England and in America, to which they apparently migrated at a very early date. But John Doe wouldnt be so unfavorably, as well as widely, known if he had been only a party to civil actions. Unfortunately, however, he hasnt. Poor John Doe! What a host of crimes have been committed under his name. Is a public official suspected of being recreant to his trust and accepting bribes or otherwise involved when graft and corruption rears its ugly head? Immediately the grand jury meets, brings in an indictment and issues a warrant. Whose name is on it? Who else but John Doe? When the district attorney decides to suppress gambling or clean up illegal dispensing of spiritus frumenti, whose gambling dens and illicit stills are raided? John Does, of course! A man is found murdered (with a blunt instrument, no doubt). Belt So when tr enactment in August, 1918, he Indianapolis News, the ges were extended to include n to or the manly hero Ha! At last, So I have you in my power! when you exclaim jokingly Curse you, Jack Dalton! you are perpetuating his fame another man whom everybody knows but w'hom no one has ever seen in real life. If youve ever traveled in Texas or elsewhere in the Southwest, youve probably heard about Old John Santa Fe. Everybody has, even though it would be difficult to find anyone who has ever actually seen him. One of those times when the train on which youre riding stops in the outskirts of a town, ask the conductor or the brakeman if youve arrived at the station yet. The chances are that he will answer Nope, got to wait for Old John Santa Fe, years, and the held itember 12, 1918, produced 13.000- .000 registrants. first registration, June 5, rought out nearly 10,000,000 men, the second, on June 5, ought 744,805, and the third, 24, 1918, 157,963 a total of 24.000.- 000 Americans of mili-:forty-fiv- e igistration thereunder, e. There Goes Old John Santa Fe! idministration of the law was lands of the War department, the supervision of the Presand with the assistance of draft boards, with appeal for each congressional dis- - wife with him to the Detroit convention in 1931. The night before the big parade, he got separated from her somewhere on Woodward avenue. No, I dont think President issued his first in' he ditched her deliberate but I ;ns to the he spent the night celeexemption boards guess 1917, and the first men brating. to service September Anyway, the next morning, The order in which the she kept the telephone wires hot reg' were to be called to deter-hei- r calling up his mates and asking memorial to the United Wheres Elmer? availability for military Frances The Massawas settled by a drawing of States Volunteers which stands in chusetts boys tried to help her rs at Washington, in the senthe Place des Etats Unis in Paris. out by calling for Elmer all along dee building, on July 20 The statue is the work of Jean the parade route. Pretty soon were apportioned to each of Boucher, the figure on top being everybody was yelling Wheres ites and territories and the inspired by his memory of an Amer- Elmer? And thats how the whole of Columbia. ican doughboy. thing started. Wfiat was his last name? Dont think Ive ever heard. Better ask some of the Massachusetts gang. They ought to know." A DOUGHBOY OF WORLD WAR DAYS No, he wasnt one of our outfit, a Bay Stater will answer And it didnt your question. start at Detroit, at all. It all 1932. began out in Portland in lost A delegate from Iowa got from his buddy whose name was Elmer. He kept yelling Wheres Elmer? until a lot of others took it up. Then the radio man who announced each days proceedbegan ings over a and asking the same question was pretty soon everyone there yelling Wheres Elmer? I dont think they ever found him, but from maybe some of the men was. Iowa can tell you who he From Many States. Inquiry among the Hawkeye the Legionnaires only leads and questioner to another state confirms the elusiveness of both his Elmers whereabouts andCaroidentity. He was a North linian, a Californian, a Missouri-a or an, a Vermonter, a Texan state native of almost any other He was still you care to name. in 1933, at Chicago being sought at Miami in 1934, at St. Louis in American 1935 and at Cleveland last year. 'ughboy who fought to make the world safe for racy." p, e After the Chicago convention Picture is from a drawing by Capt. Harry Townsend. draft-calle- d :t loud-speak- er Or, for that you, Jack Dalton! matter, havent you at some time pronounced that anathema upon some one, whether his name was Dalton or not? Who was this Jack Dalton, whose name has come down to us as the symbol of villainy? Several years ago William H. whose Dalton of Connecticut, friends had nicknamed him Jack became curious about Dalton, that and tried to find out who his namesake was. He received a variety of answers from people among whom he inquired. He was one of the Dalton gang of outlaws, said one. But the difficulty with that theory is that not one of the three Daltons, whose gang was wiped out at Coffeyville, Kan., in 1892, bore the name of John or "Jack, nor did any of their six brothers who were respected citizens and had no share in their careers of banditry. "He was once the official rat catcher of the city of London, declared another. He was a character in a book written by Charles Lever, affirmed still another. A number agreed that he was the villain in a melodrama which gave a thrill to Americans of the Civil war era, but they were unable to be more specific as to' the name of the play or the date. However, by following this lead, Mr. Dalton and others, notably Roy Day, librarian of the the Players club, broughttheoutvillain interesting fact that ir. the famous melodrama, The Ticket-of-Leav- e Man, produced in 1863 by Tom Taylor in London and in New York in 1864, was named Dalton. But he was called James Dalton, alias Downey, alias The Tiger. The Typical Villain. Just when or how Jim Dalton became Jack Dalton is unknown. But he has come down to us as Barberous For some moments the two small boys had watched the barber singe a customers hair. What dyou suppose hes doin? one asked finally. Dont be so dumb, answered the other. Hes lookin for em with a light. Thats Swimming Instructor better, sir. You aint swallerin so much water doiD more to the gallon so to speak. It All Depends The lad carrying the bass horn knocked on the door of the roomHow much are ing house. rooms? he asked. The landlady hesitated. Lets hear you play that thing first, she said. End of the Line Old Colored Mammy I wants a ticket for Magnolia. Ticket Agent (after ten minutes of weary thumbing over railroad guides) Where is Magnolia? Old Colored Mammy Shes set-ti- n over dar on de bench. Exchange. THATS EASY ready to accuse some one of the crime, the first man they think of is our old friend, John Doe. Sometimes, by way of variation, he is given an alias as John Jackson in New York or John Den in New ly, is the Jersey. (Incidentalor Joe Dokes Doakes, whose name one hears so frequently these days, a descendant of the immortal John Doe, or is he just a couple of other fellows?) But the most places its John Doe who is selected as a fall guy on whom to hang all manner of crimes and misdemeanors. He must be the master criminal of all history for, although often accused, there is no record of Johns ever having been placed on trial or sentenced to prison or condemned to be executed. So year after year he goes on his nefarious way that is, if you can believe the warrants. Is it possible that John Doe has been able to escape punishment for all the crimes laid at his door because he has had the services of a "Philadelphia lawyer? Of course, you know about that attorney. Youve heard him referred to in such expressions as That beats a Philadelphia lawyer or It would take a Philadelphia lawyer to figure that out or, as the saying is current up in New England, Three Phll- - Teacher He drove straight to his goal. He looked neither to the right nor to left, but pressed forward, moved by a definite purpose. Neither friend nor foe could delay him, nor turn him from his course. All who crossed his path did so at their own peril. What would you call such a man? Bobby A truck driver. Doubt? Hotel Page Telegram for Mr. Neidspondavanci, Mr. Neidspon-davanc- i. Mr. Neidspondavanci What IniDrexel Institute tial, please? Drexerd. "Quotations" A The difficulty ii not that enough treaties have not been signed, but that enough treatiea are not being kept. Sir Austen Chamberlain. The only good conversation today in in books. embalmed Fannie Hurst. It ia (till the greatest, the freest and the sanest country in the world, and I atill get the greateat kirk in life coming bark to America. Ludwig I.etvisohn. 1 think if you can are the funny aide of tome thingi it easier now and then. Mrs. Franklin D. Roose- velt The public arhoola and some of our college have taught the maaara just enough to niHke them discontented. Chose S. Osborn. What SHE TOLD WORN-OU- HUSBAND T She couM have reproached him fc hn fits of temper his all in but wisely she saw In hia frequent colds, his "lagged out, . on edge" condition the very trouble she herself had whipped. Constipation! The very morning after taking NR (Na- ture as John Doe and Richard Roe. adelphia lawyers are a match for the very devil himself. All of which are a tribute to his astuteness, sagacity and unusual ability, even though the last quotation carries with it an implication of sharp dealing. In doing so it does a grave injustice to the memory of the whose Philadelphia lawyer ability was responsible for the origin of that expression. He was Andrew Hamilton and away back in 1735 he wa3 called upon to defend a printer and publisher John Peter Zenger named with criminal libel charged against the colonial governor of New York. So skillful was Hamiltons defense that Zenger was acquitted and his acquittal is now regarded as a milestone in the history of the fight for the freedom of the press in this country. Since Andrew Hamilton, h i s Philadelphia lawyer, was given credit for this epochal victory, the highest praise that could be given an attorney in the early days was to say that he was as smart as that Philadelphia lawyer who defended John Peter Zenger. Gradually the circumstances under which that accolade was won were forgotten and only the symbolism remained in the various terms of reference to a Philadelphia lawyer. C Western Newspaper Union. Remedy). the advised, he felt like himself J keenly, again alert, pepW. cheerful. NR thef safe, dependable, laxauvt and corrective J works gently, thoroughly, nat undJydtatunulateatheehra fnativa tract to complete, regular function- box tonight. at dlugguU. NEWEST SALT LAKE'S HOSTELRY Our lobby la delightfully air cooled during the summer mootha Radio for Crory Room 200 Room 200 Bathe -- rrTftli HOTEL Temple Square Rates $1-5- 0 to $3.00 The HoteS Temple Square hat m atmoe-- p highly deelreble friendly Immachere. Yon will always find it ulate en pronely comfortable and thoroughly agreeable. Von can there fora ttnderetand why this hotel Ul HIGHLY RECOMMENDED Yon can alao appreciate why ft' a marie of distinction to top t this beautiful hostelry ERNEST C ROSSITER, Afr. |
