| Show THE GARLAND WEEKLY Rieaed NOTE: (EDITOR'S Western Newspaper BAUKIUGE Analyst and Commentator WASHINGTON —The subject of cws recently has been called to my attention In the early pre crossword days a cow was supposed to be an arvlma' rumi Now it is just a three letter word meaning ( the bovine species means s W'ord which also sometimes aant There is another ruminant of which I will speak later that a cow was the bovine speI thought it was P’'""'""’!’ ””” something fearful which was tu-adh e m isticallv dressed as and which tl would was told I Wt" hiTTt me took the former coras statement rect but had gra e doubts about the was latter Iati r taught that cow spelled not bossie 3'JM but row and still This later I was chased by one doubt concerning caused additional furnished by one a fiee information elders Before I knew of applied to cows Instead of the cold has the oppocapitalists Accordsite effect on longevity to a recent article in Food Ining dustries a McGraw-Hil- l publication the Russians lave produced a ohillmg process apby means-ocows plied from early whiih live with a high output to 15 years yield up to 100000 liters of milk and give birth to 15 ealves When Tiie One se process is simple lei Is a ealf from selected parents It is put in nn unbelted barn wluie the temperature is kept at five do tulu pies filirenheit The bums it are much like the ordinary Soviet citizen’s dwelling except that there is plenty of bedding and the calves e ‘v— Then came the crossword puzzles I saw that “three horizontal" was a word meaning ruminant Having heard of the word “ruminate" by that time and thinking or if you will rumitli at thinking nating was a fairly common practice among the genus homo I wrote Later when I met a down “man" I was connumber of congressmen vinced of my error know that neither definiA cow rution Is entirely wrong when It chews Its cud minates (hiving chewed it before) snd a chews an he when man ruminates idea upon which he has chewed before In some ways however cows and men differ In fact cows even differ alin somn respects from women though all three creatures— man the woman and cow — are mammals those highest form of vertebrate inform me) which (the authorities Just nurse their young with milk how man gets into this category is me but that is what s little beyond am willing and the scientist says a little After to strain my credulity all I suppose that my father who I drank which milk for the paid when I got so I could take it out of me in a manner nourished a glass We will let it go at of speaking that although it seems to me that a man assumes a little of what might be criticized as the gland manner of speaking when he tries to get piore than a grade B rating as a mammal Now what has a cow got that Answer: rattand I haven't? le are closely rrlated to the buffalo the bison and the vak I defy to produce a bison any genealogist a buffalo and a yak In one human On the other hand family tree in the branrhes of a row's family tree there are no monkeys Now you rr t " ' ’JJ - 1 But to return to the differences between cows on the one hand and men and women on the other— (and me I think no one will contradict when aay there ARE differences: One thing a cow cannot do that a man can is blow its own horn And as we know from listening to the soap operas it is easier to make u woman slip than to make a cowslip 7 Ha' a fc hi some ways the cow has superior have seen abilities For instance cow roll trver without spilling a drop of milk which is more than any man carrying a similar amount of lacteal fluid could do the cow seems to Phllologically have somewhat of an edge on man at least for those who believe in the The Latin word capitalistic system for cattle (as of course you know if you just looked it up as I did) is And the word pecuniary “pecus" is derived from that and the words cattle chattel and capital are to each other what cow itself is to buffalo bison and yak All present-dabreeds of cattle are am authoritatively informed descended from the two types large known in prehistoric and small However in retimes in Europe cent time- - (and now we are getting down to what started me ruminating) something new has been added We now have developed what called "hot light be laughingly cows" and “cold cows” a The “hot" are the Brahmas which into our own have been insinuated American strains to inure them to latitudes and for other ur southern As you know Brahma purposes cattle are known by their humps A braw Brahma has a large hump just a d the others shoulders abaft the of lesser rank have smaller humps getting down to something not much larger than a fever blister The “cold" cow is quite a differAs m ght be expected it ent thing comes from Russia where they vented the cold war the cold shoul der and the common or Siberian cold which is used to correct false ideologies longevity and monopolistic capitalism This Is Pat Walker of Woodland Calif queen of the Poly Royal celebration at California State With her to Polytechnic college do a spot of ruminating is one of the college’s better beef sires Domino Prince 63rd His mother was one of the aristocratic ruminants who even now chews her cud In pride over the elegance of her son are provided with earmuffs A citi zen of the USSR doesn't need the earmuffs because he is only allowed to listen to what the govern merit thinks is good for him and if his ears freeze it’s all right with the censor The results of the chilling process on calves appear remarkable but not for a moment would I doubt the veracity of the writer— despite my in with erroneous early experience formation concerning cows The other type of ruminant upon which these ruminations are based is illustrated In these columns The Old Order llotc It Passeth After the grey winter days New Hampshire avenue almost sparkles these spring mornings The elm buds are spreading and the shadows of trunk and limb make sharp patterns on the wide expanse of the huge Belmont house This house now is occupied by the Eastern Star— no family ever could have done more than rattle about in that I suppose there palatial mansion will be few such palaces built in tyashUlgUifl any mors ohe aftef an other they are being torn down The Letter house on Dupont Circle is gone and a family hotel is rising in its place Many other mansions too big for embassies even served as boarding houses for war workers and now they are empty and for sale One huge house which I pass casionally is opened when the third which still retains some generation of the original fortune comes to for a wedding or a Washington After that the house is sealed party are up again the burglar alarms attached and the old residence goei back 'to dreaming of the past A part ef this section of Washington— Dupont Circle — is bring sealed off for a year while the roadbuilders under the burrow grassy park so make an underpass for trolley can and automobiles This will be the final Dlow of disavenue figuration to Connecticut which has yielded gradually over the years since first knew it to the vulgarian invasion A block below Dupont Circle thu once was gay with the chatter o children nursemaids of thi and stood the Bntist foreign diplomats On the site today is I embassy filling station Americans have eaten the 19th century but still mam rhiseonceptfons concerning them ex ist says Middle America Informa tion Not we hope that they shouk be kept in the refrigerator arc Two thirds of all divorces Is that becausi granted to women of male chivalry —or the lack of it’ When opinions news Union's by WNU LABOR: Lewis Fight John L Lewis and the law were locked in a mortal struggle were His United Mine Workers till out of the pits in a “volunto the companies’ tary” objection alleged refusal to provide them with a Most pension plan of the 400000 miners were out fishing Lewis himself was out gunning law enactment for the of which was largely the result of in the first place his activities had gone out After the miners President Truman actmg- under the a law had appointed board to investigate the But when the board difficulties he asked John L Lewis to testify refused Then the board issued a subpoena that he appear Agan requesting Lewis refused stating that the board had no right to demand his presence before it He said he based his disinclination to testify on the facts that: Neither he nor the UMW had 1 covered done anything by the law thereby nullifying of the invocation the President’s law and Two of the three board mem- 2 bers were “biased and prejudiced and in honor should not serve” minutes before the deadFinally the burly line chief appeared' It was obvious of course that the UMW chief was out to break the enactment Apparentto drag the ly he was determined pension dispute all the way through the courts — preferably as high as the supreme court to get a final verdict And any way it turned out the process would react for the miners’ Immediate benefit While the courts would be mulling over the matter the date for the annual renewal of the mine workers’ contract in June The longer would be approaching unsetthe present dispute remained coal tled the worse the nation's thus putting situation would grow Lewis in a good bargaining position contract for to extract a favorable next year MOBILIZE: Controls? of Bernard M Baruch approves selective service and universal military training for the present quasi- tiUis but lie docs nut think that is enough to meet all the implications the world situation holds adThe financier and presidential viser called also for an “economic and said that mobilization plan” America’s failure to muster all its resources now for peace would leave but to mobilize for “no alternative war” in the future Baruch told the senate armed services committee that he was afraid that if the nation suddenly and withwere called upon to out preparation mobilize and prepare for a big war inflation uch forces of domestic would be set in motion as could wide open and blow the country leave it defenseless of the appointment He auggested someone to “watch the impact upon our economy of the partial mobilization we are entering upon and to balmaintain a constant inventory ancing all our growing commitments ” against our resources It had not been a hidden threat but Baruch's statement had focused attention on the possible danger that a sudden spate of military spending could bring about ruinous inflation talk of reviving the As a result defunct OPA was being heard in Baruch's Washington warning touched off Informal discussions in congress about the possibility of recontrols rationing viving and other curbs on the domestic economy This of course had been an in Truman's tegral part of President famous 10 point program against flation which he proposed last year but most congressmen virtually had gagged at the thought of reimposing and the price and wage controls was accused of trying to President et up something like a "police state Now however were congressmen not so sure They were beginning to wonder if the military spending to contain Russia might necessary not have to be buttressed by controls at home In these columns net acccaaarily ef they this srs those of newipapsr) ‘Greatest Killer’ party and in turned Truman Mr Washington on still more heat thinly He issued an acidulous veiled suggestion that Wallace take his third party movement to Russia where Mr Truman obviously thinks it belongs “I was' going to tell you that the Greeks had a Henry Wallace” the “I President said to ins listeners was going to tell you that the Greeks had a statesman an orator a demaThey had the greatest gogue demagogue of all (Alcibiades was a famous Athenian who after committing certain forced to flee was Indiscretions He went to Sparta and Athens there betrayed secrets of his couninstrumental in were which trymen bringing about the fall of Athens ) "If imiMr Truman continued: tators of that ancient Greek conliberties queror want to see I suggest that they go mt subverted to the Rocky mountains— that’s fine He ought to go country out there to the country he loves so well and help them against his own country if that’s the way he feels” Glenn L Martin pioneer air craft bnilder revealed that the U S has developed an offensive to the atomic weapon superior lie called It a “radioactive bomb cloud— the greatest killrr of human beings ever devised” Martin said also “I’d be in favor of using it before I’d become a slave to another nation” LUCIUS CLOBB On War Nerves “ Pharonie " said Lucius Clobb to his helpmate as he arranged a quizzical wrinkle in his brow "d’you think we’re thunderin’ toward another war?” ‘‘Soon as you open your mouth I figure we’re in for at least a skirmish” retorted Pharonie "If you spent half as much time cultivatin' my peace of mind as you do your soybeans we wouldn’t have near the arguments ws do" She impaled the counelder statesman of Pawhooley ty on a spearlike glance “Dang if Pharonie why do you have to drag your rockin’ chair militarism into everything I set out to do a little talkin’ onf One of the reasons you married me in the first Now you place was to get security got security but you etill want to Aw Drop Dead air force” REPEAT: Ike's ‘AV Gen Dwight D Eisenhower boy of both political parties said it once more: He would not be a candidate on anypresidential body's ticket Thera had been a lull following his unequivocal refusal of Republican overtures and then the was resursentiment rected in the hearts of no fewer than four widely divergent groups the most Probably unique approach was being made by Torrey a New Stearns York public relations man who harbors the opinion that Eisenhower is a Republican He conceived a “People for Eisenhower” movement The method is a solicitation nationwide of voting citizens to send in postcards bearing this signed testimony: "I want to vote for Genera EisenI hower for president in November am a citizen of voting age ” "On June 21" Stearns announced "all of the statements will be presented to the Republican national convention as indisputable evidence that the people of the United States the nomination demand of Dwight D Eisenhower for pres’e'ent " But Eisenhower ws having none a statement of it Speaking through by Maj Gen Floyd L Farks army press chief he indicated that "his no politics statement of some weeks ago" should "apply to all parties and groups of voters” New Minor Planet 'Swims Into Ken travel in orbits far larger than that of the earth and do not come anywhere near it It is the fact that the newly discovered planet cuts the through earth’s orbit that makes it unusual Only four other minor planets hate been found which do this and they have since been lost to astronomers’ telescopes Smart Shirtwaister OTHER style tops the smart NOshirtwaister —this junior is easy sewing has few pattern pieces Try a bright Candy striped fabric used in contrasting directions Pattern No H and 8285 cornea In Biies U Siza IS yards of Send an additional for twenty flva cent and Summer your copy of the Spring FASHION ear complete pattern pattern printed inaide the book aleo free knitting direction Send your order tot PATTERN SEVTINO CIRCLE DEPT SL 830 South Weill III Chicago Enclose 25 cent In coin for each pattern desired Pattern Na 8It Nm Address Ain’t It So fight” The light of creative achievement gleamed briskly in Lucius Clobb’e eye “Say by gosh that there gives ms a right smart idea for an aphorism Nothing I like better than an aphorism B7ia£ d’you think of this Between 1941 and 1945 we were united with Russia in the bonds of holy wailock but now the honeymoon's over the lock is busted and there ain't nothin' left of the original idea except war” ‘‘Mister Clobb you can put that out' in the corn crib with the rest commented the of your aphorisms” critical Pharonie ‘‘Mebbe so” sighed the eldsr statesman “but it worries me — not knowin’ how to feel about this here world situation I’m gettin’ on toward G9 so I could afford to think that in order to have peace and a secure foreign policy we first got to rig up a strong backbone at home And a strong backbone right now means a strong army and navy and BUNDLE FROM HEAVEN U S astronomers have revealed the discovery' "of a bundle from heaven— a strange new minor planet which moves around the sun at high speed The planetoid is only about two miles In diameter Although there are about 1600 of these minor chunks of matter all circling around the eerth like the sun most of them Henry Wallace whose third was coming more movement more to follow the standard Communist party line had reached the status of a complete pariah as far as President Truman was concerned In his St Patrick’s day address in New York the President had rejected angrily any notion of accepting Wallace’s support in his camelecpaign even if it cost him the tion Then during the course of remarks made at a dinner meeting of Fturai art axpreord analyst and Tailored Classic For Junior TO WALLACE: Veiled Hint NEWS ANALYSIS Lewis Battles Law Baruch Sees ‘Total Mobilization’ Eisenhower Repeats His Refusal By either a member cies or a ruminant UTAH Taft-Hartl- Ruminating on Ruminants Or Cogitating About Cows ISmcs GARLAND TIMES Few people can appear more husimian as glare on Arthur Basse and photographer obviously Is thinking he wants his taken about as much as he picture wants a hole in the head Sasse In his belief unafraid staunchly that no animal would attack a has been taking picphotographer tures at New York’s Bronx zoo for 28 years man than this he bestows a quizzical suspicions A man wrapped np In himself makes a very small package A chip on the shoulder always indicates that there la wood higher up The reason women always win arguments is that only the stupider men will argue with them The beat way to kill time is to work it to death HOMEBODY: Aro Meeting With the arrival of spring and the rebirth of hope eternal a rumor suddenly was reIt had vived across the Atlantic to do with the rebuilding of the relastripped gears of tions The rumor which was being circulated widely in Europe said that President Truman was planning a trip to the continent for a Big Three conference with Attlee and Stalin Another version as given currency by newspapers in Turkey reported that the President might go to Europe sometime in April and possibly visit Turkey and Greece All this was good for a flurry of exeitement but m the end It turned out to be nothing more than a at straws clutching Mr Truman the White House announced had no plans for leaving the country and there was no prospect of a Big Three meeting yearly SPIES: r C frmnnv Conditions were getting back e the cloak and dagger state With a dramatic flare radio Moscow charged that Russia had uncovered an American directed spy ring of former German army officers operating out of western Germany Austria and Sweden to learn Soviet zone secrets Leader of the group functioning in the Soviet zone had been captured and had confessed Moscow reported The broadcast claimed in ClifltlGEf? life?7 0t Art you going through the functional 'middle age’ period peculiar to women (38 to 52 yrs Does this make you Buffer from hot flashes feel to nervous highs trunk tired? Then do try Lydia E Plnkham's Vegetable Compound to relieve such symptoms Plnkham’s Compound also has what Doctors call a stomachic tonic effect! LYDIA E PINKHAM’S camrZl part: "He confessed he was a member of an illegal Fascist organization existing in the western occupation zone of Germany of officers consisting of the former German army who are being used by the American service for espionage uj telligence the Soviet zone” PIPELINE: Junked The Canol pipeline that durproject constructed ing the war as a means of getting an emergency oil supply from Norman wells in Northwest Canada to' Alaska is ending in the junk yard All that is left of it now is being trucked out for shipment to junk dealers in tiie Midwest United States F ifty trucks work night and day out of Johnson’s Crossing on the Alaska highway hauling salvage I! Your Strength and Energy la Below Per ns b caused by disorder si unction tbst poisonous nets to stcumulsts permits For truly ”'k " -- oerblS I ncMs sod loll in romovt cess wsst mstlsr Iron lbs nth ““ tin -- eszzln bseksebs teadnrhes dlzxmes l pm awtlhng and fruity unna nd burniog aa omathni wroog with 0hu iomM ih tba kJdnaya or bladder boud that prompt neglect to rely on n eoumryw'd ' lnorstly tried snd test-d uf storen doubt ' medidnk DrovI hM ihn wue “"thins been L” 7“ he hrs si Gei 11 t today |
