Show ’TIIE GARLAND GARLAND UTAH TIMES O V : Lfmim WJoM JhmJzd about War Debt Hangovers MONICA CALIFr- -i governmental finance for the fiscal year Secre tary Morgenthau doesn’t even list! the thirteen thousand millions of dollars owed to us £y defaulting foreign nations But Americans at large won’t forget If you doubt this wait till one of these debtor gets in a fresh' Jam and turns to Uncle Sam for sue cor— and brother you can spell that' last word the other and still be way right know We didn't what we were getting into when w stuck around too ended in long after the fighting 1918 Makes me think of a col--I ored labor batallion who went on the loose at Brest on Armistice SANTA THE FEATHERHEADS I Keep Cool E fans vjho lolls for Hours im me tub MiHT BE CALLED AN OLD SOAK ByGM PAYNE S'MATTER POP — Anybody Ever Have a Hat Glued On? pr day A hardboiled ed them up: “Get top to work sergeant on dem piles’ hecommanded: yt' round- - freight " y “But de mess aL done over” declared a spokesman “And us boys only enlisted fur de duration of de ' r war” “Lissen” barked the sergeant “de war may be over lak you spebut fur sich ez you de duraain’t hardly started” cifies tion Woes of IF OVER the resort MESCAL IKE By S L HUNTLEY French Hotels woes of the French anybody catches hotels me shedding a tear it’ll come out of an eyedropper and not from the heart I’m thinking particularly of the romantic and soulful Riviera which under the surface is just as romantic as an adding machine and soulful as a cash regis- Three Time Over Ligrhtly ter There where E Phillips once delighted to “op” and the Yankee suckers rushed in ready for their skinning — and never disappointed— is the original home of the deft and the mastodonic overcharge There I’ve seen many a mistake made in the bill and never yet one in favor of the customer FINNEY OF THE FORCE Knifing a Sword Swallower fyLsstfcZ "V" A Cp£E7iifcE iHAt CAAlT A PORG RSH Influenza Complications CINCE the last bedside bulletin so many souls have inquired that I am offering a supplemental report on the work of the wrecking crew First I cracked an ear drum of “Whose?”) (Cries Then this clinging California influenza moved slightly south by west within your correspondent’s area So now I'va fallen into the hands of a throat specialist A fine fellow — but easily satisfied in the matter of entertainment His idea of a sprightly conversation is to hold down my tongue with a spoon and have me say “ah” What I claim is when you’ve heard one “Ah" you’ve heard ’em all But he fairly hangs on my words There’s a gleam in his eye I don’t like He’s beginning to crave my tonsils 9 Taking ADAMSON’S ADVENTURES The Crack Shot By O 9 9 Political Sides TODAY somewhoentirely is snuggled close to the throne or hopes soon JACOBSSON up to proclaims: “Landon is as synthetic as a rubber duck Roosevelt is the only hope of an imperiled What price a constitution people when we can have frankfurters?” another gentleman Tomorrow who likewise is as unbiased as a spitefence bursts forth with somelike this: thing Roosevelt and your country forever is wrecked Landon alone can save our threatened A r$al statesman He institutions eats in the kitchen and hates to wear neckties” Mr Roosevelt reMeanwhile mains calm and seeminglj confident Governor Landon remains calm and seemingly hopeful be 0 Our Taking No Chances Farmer Thomas gave a new hand a plateful of mushrooms for his supper "Isn’t anyone else having mushrooms for supper?” askeo the hand noticing that he was the only one eating them “We like them for breakfast Pet Peeve tri wi? The Two 0 JO best" said the farmer er it isn etonry-f- Next morning Thomas went to his new hand’s room and asked him how he felt “Fine” said the hand Returning - to - the —kitchen — and putting his head round the door he shouted to' his wife: “It’s all right Jane they’re not toadstools!” r ri& uHPo(irrAv I A IXTf Oitf AWKWW4HEW0F No Tima to Node Bystander — Did you get the number of that car that knocked you down madam? Victim — No but the hussy that was driving it wore a tweed suit lined1 with Canton crepe and she had on a periwinkle hat trimmed with artificial cherries— The Mutual Magazine 0f fcWS'fc WTO tv A Ml Sfjrp ifW shni SfaRlTj awaw lyyiiin Im) WfrfPW S0MEAN& DrciDBtitaaeikF M ewwftrom pKoetfM 0 - FEtlS Vi tas i WtUlO UKf it t 60CS hETffS 11 Hi ngmiiiw WANft W Hjxp Opposing Camps side there ON THE Republican is a lull Incredi- temporarily Col Theodore ble though it sounds Roosevelt Jr is not getting ready to run for anything Later reports this may change Organizing the speaking bureau for the Democrats Chairman Rayburn does not list among the chosen orators the name of his most fellow In Texan distinguished vaudeville it breeds a laugh when the second half of the sketch makes the wrong answers but politics is Can it be something else again that Uncle Jack Gamer has become the Gracie Allen of his sex? Only they do let Gracie talk! A writer ' who isn’t taking sides wonders at length whether the qualihomespun ties of Gov Landon can overbalance the melodious and limpid lines of President Roosevelt For this problem the appropriate musical accompaniment would seem to be “Poet and Peasant" IRVIN S COBB Cepyrif kt— WNU Service i |