Show V THE GARLAND TIMES GARLAND UTAII OUR COMIC SECTION THE FEATHERHEADS Can’t Blame It on the Tonic Ho Eeap Two clubmen were discussing their r r r wives "I suppose ! mustn’t grumble at mine said Martin ' “She looks after mi very well" asked "In what way especially his friend tor Instance" said Martin "Well eveths In off boots "she takes my Wi andjp f Hum® SHOWS FARM FLOCK PROVES CASH ASSET Records Kept by 40 Farmers Rates Good Average How much money does the farm flock of poultry contribute to the farm Income? This question was answered by at least 40 farmers In southeastern Ohio by an analysis of flock records kept on 40 flocks of about 250 hens The amount Is $218 net with all ex yienses deducted except labor The records are for 1932 and Involved six breeds of chickens The cost figures were computed by P B extension specialist In poultry husbandry for the Ohio State univer- sity The hen that was kept through the whole of a season returned 87 cents to its owner for his labor Including all chickens culled from the flock during the year the average return was 67 cents a bird Prices received for the eggs varied cents a dozen and the by the ten price received whose poultry Income waa One was 19 cents a dozen flock owner received an average of 21 cents a dozen by shipping his eggs U an eastern buyer and another maintained a high average price by selling some eggs for hatching purposes The ten who earned the largest net Income succeeded by Inducing their hens to lay most heavily during the period of higher prices In October December and they said November from 11 average farmers greatest to 28 ning" when yon come borne from asked ’Oh no when I want to go there" came the reply rwbat' the club?" Descriptive A young wife wlBblng to announce the birth of her first child to a friend In a distant city telegraphed: "Isaiah 0: 6" Which passage begins: “For onto os a child la born onto ns a son la given" Her friend unfamiliar with the said to her hnaband: Scriptures has a boy who evidently “Margaret weighs nine pounds and six ounces but why on earth did they name him Isaiah?" Just on Account FINNEY OF THE FORCE Debatable Man at Desk— Why do you claim a trombone player Is less of a bora than a pianist? Man In Chair— He Is because be He doesn’t doesn't get the chance find a trombone In every home he visits — Brooklyn Dally Eagle IN A HUMOROUS laying laterally fed good laying rations greens consumed ar6 a supplement and not the principle article of diet Where hens are not liberally fed natof urally they will consume liberally tn greens as a source of nutrients which case the “grass eggs” A good deal depends are produced upon the previous treatment the hens hae received If they have been shut In off the yards and then allowed to run out they will gorge themselves with greens Under such conditions It would be wise to restrict the amount of time they have access to the yards This can be easily done by keeping them confined to the house until late In the afternoon and then gradually the length of time they Increasing Farmer range— Missouri TRUE TOUCH TASTE KEEN soup tell Fresh Boarder— Is not much pood Landlady— Some little bird told you suppose A swallow Fresh Boarder — Teh I WARM ENOUGH going to send that old girl of mine this birthday card It depicts her in her true colors Fred— From what I’ve seen of her you ad better get one of those ones Jack — I’m ean “What's that piece of cord tied around your finger for?” “My wife put It there to remind me to post a letter” “And did you post It?” “No she forgot to give It to me” FOREI JUST LOVELY The market for Nevada turkeys this year should be as good as or better than that for other farm commodities produced In the state according to the Nevada agricultural extension service and the Nevada agricultural experiAll Indications point to ment station a decreased production of the holiday birds In the state but say the extension and station men even an creased Nevada production would not keep the outlook for turkeys from being as good as other farm products Plenty of Water "1 tlu can’t understand engagement’’ “Perhaps she pot “That's no excuse why - - cold Jack at lay his burning heart be proposed to her" May broke — feet” offered her feet to when Husband— That paper has an Item regarding a woman who was seriously injured while trying to pet to a bar- — gain counter yesteiday Wife — Yes what a splendid time the other women must have had Td rather play golf than eat" “What does your wife say to that?' She'd rath“Oh she doesn’t mind er play bridge than cook" - Water an Important part of the should ration that Is often neglected be kept before the growing birds all As soon as the first eggs the time are laid the pullets may be adjusted to their new home and surrounding before coming Into heavy production As a result very little trouble Is had The with fall and winter moulting animal protein in their ration Is grad Dally Increased until full production meat of It desired and the amount scraps totals 20 per cent of ground feed give Ha Har Prica yon thirty shillings for that pup" Little Sonatina Stern Mistress (to maid)— You are discharged Sarah for allowing tbe What sort of master to kiss you reference do yon expect from me after that? Well Maid— at you might Pretty least say that I tried to please every one am dull" “She Bays that "You should crack a few Jokes once In a while ask her to marry you or like that" something tlvate It? Cutajar— I cultivates Jt Irrigates It madam No Luck a’Tall Bobby— lost a quarter this morning now Nellie— Thats’ a pity Bobby did you lose It? Bobby— Aw the man wlmt dropped EveIt heard It ning Bulletin GOING One that Not the Only Clilupp — understand has a very good voice THE LIMIT Qulggle Doee be cul don't know whether he do know that he but sometimes Vital Information “So you Joined the army ao as to 'see the world' as the posters say? What made you leave?” “They didn’t tell me that 1 would have to do it on foot" Booting Party She — Where did you put the records? I had work enough — He Records? lugging this heavy gramophone along without bringing a boi of records QUESTION Nevada Turkey Outlook "Jack Is a foiy Individual Ha proto Miss Beaches by wireless" "What was the great Idea la that?" “It leaves the record up la the air where It cant be read tn court la case he happens to change his mind” "Can’t be done sir That pup bel’ ongs to my wife an' she'd sob eart out But I teU yer what — we’ll n' bob ten another let spring 'er aob I”— Humorist Magazine For Storing Eggs The water glass method to preserve eggs Is probably the most popular used In farm homes The liquid water glass can be purchased at most drug stores To each pint of this liquid add 10 pints of water that has been boiled and alStir this mixture lowed to cool thoroughly tn a three gallon Jar and Care must be then put In the eggs taken when placing the eggs In the Jar ao they will not crack when reaching the bottom Cover the Jar with a thick cloth and paper to exclude as After the mixmuch air ns possible ture has been prepared you may add the eggs as they are gathered until the Jar Is full always being careful to Store cover the Jar again each time In a cool place and the eggs will keep for a year There Is also a commercial salve compound that can be purchased that Is spread or nibbed on the eggs This salve Is said to close the pores of the egg shell and thereby prevent them Farmstale— Indiana from becoming er's Guide JACK posed "I’ll VEIN do In to are the WISE Maybe He Wes O K At a recent gathering the nervous young secretary of a church social club waa apparently confused by the of one or two people of presence bis opening retitle and prefaced and marks with "Ladles Gentlemen others—" Dark Yolked Eggs Not Favored by Easterners Eggs with extremely yellow yolks not meet with favor among dealers Such eggs fall Eastern markets grade In the better grades even though they otherwise are perfectly of In fact the preference good eggs dealers for eggs with yolks of lighter materially the eggs shades handicaps produced In the Middle West One should recognize the fact that the problem consists largely In controlling the Intake of green leafy ms terinl Hens running on pasture where there is an abundance of greens will of naturally consume larger quantities However the amount congreens sumed can he materially reduced If the hen Is fed liberal quantities of grains Where hens mash and a good Blooming Liar "You don’t say you got rid of that nice lodger of yours Mrs Brady?" “Yea I 1 got suspicious of him Be told me be was a bachelor of arts and I found out he had a wife and two children" — Sheffield She— Don’t you think that women should have the privilege of proposing as well as men? and lie — Certainly they should they ought to have the privilege of buying theater tickets and clgara for the men If they want to An Angel In Sight Muriel at pantomime rehearsal)— Who’s the Johnny? In the show Is be? Not Frank— Well we’re trying to persuade him to put up the tnaney for the production — our “Principal Buoy” so to speak 1— London Watted "Here’s seat too" man "Are manded class you laughing the professor at me?” sternly of de- hla came the reply from the class president “Then” asked the professor “what else la there In tbe room tn laugh "Oh no sir" atr a dandy car with a said the enthusiastic ramble sales- "Rumble seat ’d be no nse to me” growled the unentbuslastlc customer “my wife Insists on doing all her seat driving from the front back seaL“— Cincinnati Inquirer Up to the Player was making a bopelesa first at golf and to cover his emhe remarked to the barrassment Isn’t “Golfs a funDy game caddy Rinks attempt Reaion for It '"This egg Is bad” Landlady— Well what do you ex"Sometimes' It Is sir" retorted pect when you come down so late boy “but It Isn’t meant to be” Weekly to breakfast?— Everybody’s itr Drug Shop Burglar First Burglar (to companion durraid on chemist’s shop)— I’ll take the cash you'd better take something for that cold ing th Exact Chang "I have known gents what gives a over" observed the "Ay" said McPherson “that’s why bit I asked ye to stop under a lamp" i t |