Show THE SALINA CALL SAUNA ooooooooooooooooc MISHAPS OF MR HAP G SHERMAN By AUGUSTUS By the banka ot a Sylvan stream Ming vacantly Into the far distance stood Hapgood Dorsey Ilia friends called him Hap for Bhort and he needed those friends Borely Just now for all that Ilapgood $orBey wore on the present occasion was an umbrella “I'm done for" he stated lugubriously using the umbrella as a shield "What In the world am I to do?" It was a serious question Hapgood Dorsey a young bachelor on his annual vacation outing two miles from hotel night coming on bis country no habitation in sight had come out of the water after a vigorous swim to And his clothes missing "It was that tramp I saw lurking around in the distance" Hap now told himself "I don't care for the clothes —It was an old suit and nothing of value in the pockets but — how am I going to get to shelter?" Hapgood Dorsey did not rage or swear He was a sensible reputable rather shy and reserved young man especially with the ladies but manager ot a large manufacturing establishment and on the way to further business promotion "It’s a mean trick was the hardest “I can’t thing he could find to say go back into the water and stay all night I can’t walk into town in this I’m up a tree or rather I plight wish I was ! ” It was some time before Ilapgood Dorsey could make up his mind what to do He bad a dim idea that in his stroll from town to the present spot he had passed a farmhouse He finally started in the direction of the hotel dodging past the open spots between trees and bushes and the umbrella in constant play Never was a man more thankful than he that it waa growing dusk Somewhere he vaguely remembered he had read a poem on “The Dylgg He wished this one would stay Day" dead with no afterglow Alas there waa a line or two about "the sable garments of the night” Hap wished they might become tangible “What luck!” "What luck!” he chirped as he struck a barb wire fence and made out a barn and a house I’m a Thankful Man” “I'm a thankful man” h Mid deand started down a traversed voutly country road carrying the spot of hla ruthless pillage well In his mind “This outfit looks as If it belonged to some old farm dame” he ruminated “All right She shall have the finest silk gown and Sunday bonnet In town tomorrow for this timely accommodation Hello!” Hap dodged behind a tree The moon had come up and just then with a vivid scream a young girl turned a curve in the highway In hot pursuit was a browsy bold looking Individual whom Hap at once recognized as his despoiler at the brookside “Give up that watch!” he was shout“I’m going to have It” ing The terrified girl must have made out Hap She ran frantically up to lady save me!” she pleaded clinging frantically to Hap "Huh! an old woman!" roared the “I’ll demolish both of you If tramp you don’t give up that watch!" “Let go please” pleaded Hap in an embarrassed way and at his masculine tones hU charge uttered a new shriek "A man!” she quavered “Luckily for you and something of an athlete” vaunted Hap rather proudly — bill! Down went Mr Tramp scientifically bowled out and gasping for breath prostrate on the ground "Run for some help” Hap directed the bewildered miss and we’ll put this bold highwayman where he belongs” He atood valiant guard over the discomfited thief with a club until the young lady running back to a neighbor’s returned with two men armed with pitchforks In the meantime Hap learned from the thief where bis clothes had been hidden "Why say Miss Rose" exclaimed one of the men pointing to her rescuer "this pne can’t be right either— a man dressed up in a woman’s dress!” "Yes” fluttered Miss Rose Barton “and it looks like mamma’s dress too!" "I will explain” observed Hap and he did And then clothed In his right mind and in his own attire Hapgood Dorsey felt it a duty to pay a visit to the Barton homestead the next day "I’ve come to return what I borrowed” he reported handing a neat package to Rose’s mother after an introduction from his blushing hostess "You will find a silk pattern also Mrs Barton— a slight acknowledgment of your kindness in unconsciously assisting my — escape “Young man you did bravely last observed the practical evening” housewife “and I want to thank you” Only one thing could come of a bright sensible young man like Hap meeting a lovely affectionate country maid like Rose It was an engagement and the silk pattern came in finely for a gown for Mrs Barton at the wedding by W O Chapman) (Copyright Hens That Exercise According to Samuel E Mahan of St Paul Minn the egg yield of a hen can positively be increased if means are taken to give her plenty of exercise A dispatch the other day related that Mahan had established a sort ot treadmill with his in connection chicken coop says the New York Sun and compelled his bens to walk the rungs constantly for ten or fifteen minutes at a time so that exercise approximating two hours daily was A 30 per cent increase in egg laying was reported within a period of nine days of the achievement When news reached some of the college analylsts they began to figure on th likelihood of change in the component parts of the egg What the result will be assuming the hen exercise story to be true leaves all kinds of room for speculation fact that It Is a hard make tougher cattle worked eating when killed Building up of muscle gives greater strength but the tenderness vanishes Slipping through the open doorway barricading himself behind a heap of bay Hap proceeded to carry out his to secure attention and succor all the halls Hap had ever heard he now proceeded to deliver first In a feeble venturesome voice and then more audibly and with some irritation “There’s nobody at home In that at house that's sure” he decided last "I'll Investigate Maybe I can find some door or window open Just mind I me clothes— some don’t let get I don’t care what whose they are they are— jumpers overalls tennis or bathing suit I’ll grab them quick This is a horrible predicament and I am a desperate man!” Hap and his umbrella made the tour No one was in the of the vicinity nor was house as he had surmised there any avenue of inlet easy of access “I’ll do it I’ve got to do it!” decided Hap grimly as he stood looking over the line of family washing hanging up to dry “There's a white one — mo that would be too prominent The me blue one Is bigger and becomes better Yes the problem is solved Ha! ha!” land I am saved Hap became tragically jolly and the oddity of the occasion helped to make him so He almost chuckled with relid! as he took a blue dress and a from the line and he smiled as be thought of bow he would recite his unique adventure at his club in the 'city Then Hap repaired to the barn When he came out he carried the 'umbrella closed The dress was roomy long the sun bonnet was comfort End and sheltering Old Passion Play Since 1801 the peasants of a remote village in Tyrol have had a passion play of their own Its text dates however from the middle of the sixteenth century The last performance was given in 1905 the next one will take place in 1915 In this coming producpreparation for tion these peasant players reached the conclusion early this year that they needed new scenery a new stage and also a new road that would bring visitors in greater numbers to their To raise the mountain festival amount required they gave during the months of July and August a series of “Juda of the drama performances Ben Hur” drawn from General Lew Wallace’s famous novel by one of their members a peasant who ‘appears to have produced an altogether satisfactory dramatization plan SUIT AT OSTEND STARTLES AMERICANS Sulgrave Once Robbers’ Nest whose manor house the Sulgrave ancestral home of the Washington commitfamily the Peace Centenary tee desire to purchase as a place of not enhas associations pilgrimage tirely of a peaceful character For the smiling Northamptonshire village toward the end of the eighteenth cenof a gang tury was the headquarters of highwaymen known as the gang Chief of the 'band was who althe parish clerk of Sulgrave ways went to church fully armed lest justice should catch him unaware The In the church so booty was stored that the bold bad clerk might be at hand to protect it But treachery stepped in and four of the gang were — Lonhanged in 1787 at Northampton don Chronicle Make Her Happy A nice little diamond ring la about the dearest possession a girl can have We can fix It up for you for a very small outlay and you will be many times repaid Come In and see 51 SAIT LAKE CITY UTAH Most of useless to him “Oh beyond It The place has a tenant— Hap was assured of this as he noticed great washing out on the line In the yard It required skill bravery and the stoicism and endurance of a North American Indian to get over that barbed wire fence hut at length Hap negotiated the adventure successfully lie started a leap with an “Ouch!” and he ended it with a “Geewhllllkens!” but he was now on its field side and made tracks for the shelter of the barn BATHING E UTAH our relatives us as empty are about as tomato cans A REMINDER To Order From Your Grocer HEWLETT’S HEWLETT'S HEWLETT’S HEWLETT’S HEWLETT’S Fresh Roasted Coffees Good Teas Baking Powder Ground Pure Spices High Grade Extisots The quality of goods received repay for the trouble HEW LETT’S will also appreciate good will and support will your UEN AND WOMEN to lern barber trade Excellent opportunities open for you Tools furnished and commission paid while learning Only eight week required Call or write for particulars and catalog 13 Commercial Street bait Lake City Utah WANTED A group of American tourists at Ostend Belgium the most famous watering place In Europe gathered around an Individual bathing house from which Is emerging a fair creation in a Blase as the bathing suit The Price of Peace Americans are their curiosity and perhaps their admiration is aroused by the fair Venus on her way to the bath She appeared to be somewhat exMuch discussion has been aroused by the wearing of these garments both here and abroad and many cited when he came home that night communities have forbidden the wearing of the garment The house from which the bather Is emerging asked the cause naturally is an Individual bathing closet on wheels which is carted down to the water’s edge where the bather has but to and he man in the top fiat has fallen 'The step out and plunge in' in love with our cook” she said “What of it?” he asked close to the banfc of the stream are “ENOCH ARDEN” IN REAL LIFE "He’s been trying to get her to run some old Ihdlan graves and near by away and marry him" some are or carved stones “Do 'pledraa pin you mean the man who prao Daughter Find Father After Fiftytadas’ Three Yeara Who Failed to Claim tices on the cornet every night?” “From the weathering of these and Wife Remarried She said she did and he made a ' from the pottery and other objects dive for his pocket Mountain Peak Formed remnants Chiriqui of an ancient Indian culture ex"Tell the cook” he exclaimed Tarrytown N Y — As the last chapburled in them It is known that they citedly "that I’m a poor man but I’ll ter in a dramatic story which closely by Crater Eruptions are at least 1000 years old and proba- give fifty dollars If she’ll do it” “Enoch Arden” parallels Tennyson's more Since these CapL Lewis B Hunt of Tarrytown bly considerably N Y now were made the Caldera river Three of a Kind yeara old and Is 11000 Feet Been graves Has High and has not cut its channel more than ten quite feeble has started for Oregon A man with an impediment in his Dead for 175000 Years — Geologlit feet deeper over about of with his daughter who has just seen called to a waiter In a restauspeech of McDonald Tells Results him for the first time In the total width of its valley bottom me rant Recent Expedition This is equivalent to a deepening of roast years He left his wife to another beef” man she had married In the belief the whole width of the valley one foot The waiter stammered In reply: the New York — Dr D F McDonald that he was dead “From these data it is seen that the ain’t of the When Captain Hunt came home to geologist of the Panama canal com- minimum rate of excavation The man highly enraged thinking a tour of Caldera valley under approximately mission has just completed Buffalo N Y In 18C5 after being dishe was mocking him sprang up and charged from hlB regiment at the western Panama and in the last Issue present conditions would be one foot close of the war amazed friends met of the Canal Record the official bulle- per thousand years At this rate the attempted to knock the waiter down him at the station and told him they tin of the commission which reached presetat valley which is 350 feet deep when a third person arrested his arm strike him hs had believed for several years that he New York the other day Dr McDonwould require 350000 years for ex- and cried:as as I ald iells some of the results of his cavation had died In battle However during the first I was They told him that his wife had be- trip The trip lasted two months and few centuries excavation of it went on lieved the reports of his death and was made under the auspices of the much more rapidly than now This A Canard had married again Like Enoch Ar- Smithsonian institution the Panama Is due to the fact that in falling den he turned his back on Buffalo "My tfsar” said Mrs Snaggs to het and tbe United through the atmosphere the coarser canal commission and went adrift Into the world leav- States "geological survey rocks of the volcanic debris dropped husband “what Is a' canard?” “Don't you know what a canard Is?" ing his wife in ignorance and to the “The full results” Dr McDonald faster and are more concentrated in new happiness she had found the lower part while the upper parts inquired Snaggs rather sneeringly says In the Canal Record “of the jourWhen be went to the war his daugh- ney which lasted about two months of this formation are chiefly of fine “Why the word itself conveys its own ter was two yeara old When he re- will be published later by the Smithash meaning” “Does it? Well really I can’t see turned to Buffalo he wanted to see the sonian Institution In this Issue the child but he dared not because the it What does it mean dear?” Chlrqui volcano will be briefMRS AST0R SOCIAL LEADER that he was alive would ly treated knowledge “Why a canard ds something one ruin his wife's happiness Therefore new most the canardly believe of course" — London "Perhaps interesting be dropped out of sight of all who thing discovered about the extinct vol- Mother of Vincent Astor and Two So- Opinion ciety Friends at Big Lawn Tenhad known him cano was the evidence that indicated nis Match He Had the Price This daughter grew to womanhood about the number of centuries that was married to a man named Miller have elapsed since the last volcanic A man from the city went to a small — The elite of society turnFrench and moved to Clatskanle Ore- outburst It will be remembered that ed Newport country town In New Hampshire to en masse to watch the National out new Mr wife Hunt’s and her gon about a year ago the newspapers told At the station tennis match held at Newport in spend his vacation As the how an husband moved to Wisconsin eruption of Chiriqui volcano which the winners of the Davis Tennis he took the stage which was drawn daughter of a Civil war veteran Mrs had flung death and destruction far cup took horses and found by two dilapidated part The most prominent French recently wrote to the pension over western Panama This proved figure present had no smaller bill than a was Mrs Ava Willing that he bureau to see if she could not obtain to be a newspaper 'story for the last one which he handed to i pension The bureau Informed her explosive outburst of the mountain did driver the that her father was alive and living at not occur in 1912 but many hundred The driver looked at It for a Tarrytown where he Was receiving a centuries earlier or so and then said "Which pension “The majestic Chiriqui peak stands horse do you want?” — Everybody’s Mrs French hurried here and then as a Towerking among mountains for the first time In years Worth Keeping Anyhow ing over 11000 feet above sea level it met her father overlooks all the other rugged crests “You have some remarkable palnb ' From Its sumof western Panama ' " Y ings” ' i ' k V mit on a clear day one can see the WINS BIG ENGLISH TROPHY “Yes" replied Mrs Cumrox “The wide coastal plain of David meeting art dealer said they were old masters Lands King’s Gold Medal the low lying shore of the Pacific Canadian but to my eye some of them look as Streams like loose forty miles away for Shooting at the Bleley new”— good as Washington Star lying silvery threads flung oceanward Meet to the sea and on tie the mountains Drier Too London — Great interest marked the their banks here and there are dis“Don’t you love Miss Sweet to sit tant specks of little native villages Dnal day of the shooting meet at In the house on a stormy night and when after close competition with Scattered grazing herds dot the nearer hear the dreamy pattering of the rain and plains and a tiny dust cloud barely Fenby Sergeants Ommundson on the roof?" lisped Mir Mush distant haze of blue the in visible the Private W Hawkins a Canadian of “Yes Indeed I do It Is so much the 48tb Highlanders at Toronto won valley tells of a' train of bull carts pleasanter than to sit outside in It” toiling from David out to the coffee near the foot of the mounplantations New Friends Needed tain i It Carry Victor From Field the King's gold medal Hawkins (seen with the maple leaf the Canadian emblem) acted as a substitute on the official team having taken the place ot an absent man This is the second time the King's gold medal was won by a Canadian “Turning then to the northward one may behold lessening waves of mountains dimming in the distance where they meet the wide embayments of the Caribbean shore In the bays and be yond the headlands dark Island spots are scattered along the landward margin of the sunlit sea These remnants of a submerged mountain group stand like a struggling rear guard protecting the main shore line against the foam crested trade wind waves "Gazing out over this pleasing picbe may ture one’s aesthetic sense slightly shocked when he realizes that he is only on the top of an ash' heap for this mighty peak was built up by emanations of volcanic ash and debris blown out during long centuries from The last a crater or group of craters explosion or series of explosions was for it more violent than the rest blew the top off the mountain and scattered the debris far and wide the surrounding country unburying der some hundreds of feet of volcanic ash and ejectamenta Later streams formed on the new surface and these in tha slowly entrenched themselves The Caldera new volcanic formation river thus excavated for itself a canon that is 350 feet deep and about half a mile wide— a vaster trench by far than Culebra cut and all done by a river without drill powder or steam shovel In the flat wide bottom of this canon Editor — Wthere do you get the ideas these Jokes you write anyway? Contrib — Oh mostly from associations Why don’t you like them? Editor — Well It wouldn’t be a bad Idea to get some new friends for all Mrs Astor and a Friend (left) mother of Vincent Astor and acknowledged by “Who’s Who” In Newport to be the social leader of that exclusive society center With Mrs Astor is Miss Elizabeth Sands Astor George Waa Wise dear" said the young “George wife “you are growing handsomer every day” “Yes darling” replied the knbwing “It s a way I have just beGeorge fore your birthday" It Gently Breaking “I am in great trouble Nellie” “Tell me dearest what It 13 — no one has a better right to share your troubles than your fiance” ’I have Just got married!” Slit Skirt Not Immoral Kansas City — "There Is nothing Immoral In the slit skirt the diaphanous gown or any other present form oi A Check on Pleasure women’s attire” declared Judge Ralph do much ’Did you sightseeing Latshaw of the Criminal court here while you wer on this trip?” when asked for his opinion by persons “No Mother and the girls did the furthering a campaign against extreme Most of time was my sightseeing styles in woman’s dress spent finding the places where they cash letters of credit” Was Father of 29 Children Ind— Riley Shepard father of 29 children died He Is survived by 20 children Noblesville r here 126 dren grandchildren 6? and 4 Shepard had been times married three Same Old Feet wearClerk — But sir everybody’s ing these long narrow pointed shoes this: season still Customer — Maybe but I’m wearing my last season’s feet — Louisv' ille- Post |