Show r “v f The Shamrock and the Palm By 0 HENRY (Copyright I I— 4f? I North Rampart Street one day I mot Clancy whom I had not seen in months Clancy Is an American 'with an Irish diathesis and cosmopolitan pro cllvltles Many bignesses have claimed him but none for long The roadster's blood N Is In X bis veins He greeted me with and I thought I saw something In his eye that ought to be Sometimes when Clancy has vulged returned from his voyages into the formal and the egregious he can be to oral construction! Now persuaded I thought I saw In him symptoms of discourse so I hastily convoluntary voyed him to a little cafe nearby where a fan buzzed mitigating the torrid sultriness of the New Orleans summer “Tls very near the tropics this weather today" said Clancy — apropos —I thought — of the season But It it had more to do with his appeared I nodded conflrmatorlly story '"Tls elegant weather” continued Clancy "for filibusterin’ 'Tls what I've been doin’ for two months past strugglin’ to liberate a foreign people from a tyrant's clutch 'Twas hard work 'Tls strainin’ to the back and grows corns on your hands” ’’So’’ I said “you’ve turned soldier of fortune In earnest I hope you made It pay To what country did you lend your aid?” “Where's Kamchatka?” asked Clancy Irrelevantly I thought “Why off Siberia up In the Arctic regions I believe” I aqswered somewhat doubtfully "J thought that was the cold one” said Clancy with a nod “I’m always gettln' the two names mixed 'Twas then— the hot one— I've Guatemala been filibusterin’ with Ye’ll find that country on the map ’Tls in the district known ns the tropics By the foresight of Providence it lies on the const so the geography man could run the names of the towns off Into the water They’re an Inch long small of Spanish dialects type composed and 'tls my opinion of the same system of syntax that blew up the Maine Yes ’twas that country I sailed and endeavored against to liberate it from a tyrannical government with a pickax unloaded at that Ye don't under’Tls a statement destand of course mandin' elucidation and apologies “ ’Twas one morning about the first of June I was standln’ down on the wharf lookin' about at the ships In the river There was a little steamer moored right opposite me that seemed about ready to sail The funnels of It were throwln’ out smoke and a gang of roustabouts were carryln aboard a pile of boxes that was stacked up on the wharf The boxes were about two like four feet square and somethin’ feet long and they seemed to be pretty heavy to the stack “1 walked over careless I saw one of them had ben of boxes ’Twas curiosity broken in handlin’ made me pull up the loose top and look inside The box was packed lull of Winchester rifles ‘So so’ says I to myself ‘somebody’s gettln’ a twist Somebody's on the neutrality lews sidin' with munitions of war I wonder where the popguns are goin’' ”1 beard somebody cough and I turned around There stood a little round fat man with a brown face and Jit white clothes a diamond on lie roan with a his finger and his eye full of Interrowas be I respects and Judged gations a kind of foreigner— maybe from Russia or Japan or the archipelagoes' “‘IHstl’ says the round man full of ‘Will and confidences concealments the senor respect the dlscoveryments he has made that the mans on the The senor ship shall not be acquaint? will be a gentleman that shall not pose one thing that by accident occur I— “ ‘Monseer for I Judged him says that asto be a kind of Frenchman of foreigners being doomed sortment by nature to politeness and dialects— rccefve my most exasperated assurances that your secret Is safe with Furthermore I will go JameslClancy so far as to remark Veev la Liberty— Whenever veev flt good and strong the of obstructin' a Clancy hear you of existin’ governments abolishment you may notify me by return mall’ “ ‘The senor Is good’ says the dark fat man smilin’ under his black mus’Wish you to come aboard my tache ship and drink of wine a glass?’ “Bein’ a Clancy in two minutes me and the foreign man were seated at a table in the cabin of the steamer with a bottle between us I could hear the Into the heavy (boxes bein’ dumped hold Judged that cargo must consist of at lqast 2000 Winchesters ” You goln to stir things up In your ain’t you monseer?’ says I country with a wink to let him know I was oa Tee yes’ - says the little man his fist on the table ‘A pounding change of the greatest will occur Too long have the people been oppressed with the promises and the things to become The great Yes Our work it shall bo carry on heartiness “V" Mrf iwn by K I N1oil) shall In the capital city strike ' soonest Carrambosl’ ” 'Carrambos Is the word’ says I beginning to Invest myself with enthusl asms and more wine ’likewise veeva as I said before May the shamrock or the of old — I mean the banana-vinor whatever the imperial emblem may be of your country wave forever' ” A thousand says the round man 'for your emission of amicable utterances What our cause needs of the very most Is mans who will the work do to lift it along Oh for one thousands strong good mans to aid the General De Vega that he shall to his country bring those success and glory! It Is hard — oh so hard to find good mans to help In the work’ “‘Monseer’ Bays I leanln’ over the table and graspin’ his band ‘I don’t know where your country Is but me heart bleeds for it The heart of a Clancy was never deaf to the sight of The family Is an oppressed people filibusterer3 by birth and foreigner? by trade If you can use James Clancy’s arm and bis blood in denudin’ your shores of the tyrant's yoke they’re yours to command’ De Vega was overcome “General with Joy to confiscate my condolence of his conspiracies and predicaments to me across the embrace lie tried table but his fatness end the wine that was not in the bottles prevented Thus was I welcomed into the ranks Then the general man of fillbustery told me his country had the name of Guatemala and was the greatest nation laved by any ocean whatever anywhere lie looked at roe vwith tears in his eyes and from time to time he would emit the remark 'Ah! big strong brave mans! That is what my country need’ “General De Vega as was the name himself by which he denounced brought out a document for me to sign which I did makln’ a fine flourish and curlycue with the tall of the Y- “ ’Your says the general businesslike ’shall from your pay be deduct’ ” ' 'Twill not’ says I haughty Til A hundred and pay my own passage’ eighty dollars I hrd In my Inside pocket and ’twas no common filibuster I was goln’ to be filibusterin’ for me board and clothes “Well then In three days we sailed alongside that Guatemala ’Twas a blue country and not yellow as ’tls on the map We landed at a town on the coast where a train of cars was waitin’ for a dinky little rail road The boxes on the steamer were brought ashore and loaded on the cars The gang of Dagoes got aboard too the general and me in the front car Yes me and General De Vega headed the revolution as it pulled out of tho seaport town That train travelel about as fast as a policeman goln’ to a riot It penetrated the most con tplcuous lot of fuzzy scenery ever seen We run some outside a geography forty miles in seven hours and tho train storped “They unloaded the boxes from the train and begun to knock the tops off From the first one that was opened I saw General De Vega take the Winchester rifles and pass them around solto a squad of morbid diery The other boxes was opened next and believe me or not divil another gun was to be seen Every other box In the lot was full of— pickaxes forces the of and spades “And then— sorrow be upon them tropics — the proud Clancy and the dishonored Dagoes each one of them had to shoulder a pick or a Bpade and march away to work on that dirty litYes ’twas that the Datle railroad goes shipped for and ’twas that tve filibusterin’ Clancy signed for though unbeknownst to himself at the time In after days I found out about It It seems ’twas hard to get hands to work on that road The Intelligent natives of the country was too lazy to work Indeed the saints know ’twas unnecessary By stretchln’ out one hand they could seize the most delicate and costly fruits of the earth and by stretchln’ out the other they could sleep for days at a time without whistle or the bearin’ a footsteps of the rent man upon the stairs So regular the steamers traveled to the United States to seduce labor Usually the Imported died In two or three monthB water and from eatln’ the breathin’ the scenery Wherefore they made them sign contracts for a year when they hired an armed guard over them and put the poor devils to keep them from away “’Twas thus I was by the tropics through a family failin’ of goln’ out of the way to hunt disturbances “They gave me a pick and I took It meditatin’ an Insurrection on the spot but there was the guards handlin’ the Winchesters careless and I come to the conclusion that discretion was the There was best part of filibusterin’ about a hundred of us In the gang startin’ out to work and the word was move out to I of the steps given ranks and goes up to that General De Vega man who was smokin’ a cigar and gazin’ upon the scene with satis t - JTf factions and glory He smiles at me polite and devilish ’Plenty work’ says he ‘for big strong mans In Guatemala Yes T'irty dollars In the month Good pay Ah yes You strong brave man Blmeby we push In the capital very those railroad They want you go work now quick Adlos strong mans' “ ‘Monseer will says I lingerin’ you tell a poor little Irishman this When I set foot on your cockroachy steamer and breathed liberal and sentiments Into your revolutionary sour wine did you think I was conspirin’ to sling a pick on your contemptuous little railroad? And when you answered me with patriotic recitations humping up the cause of liberty did you have meditations of reducin’ me to the ranks of the In the Dagoes of your vile and grovelln’ country?’ “The general man expanded his roYes tundity and laughed considerable he laughed very long and loud and I Clancy stood and waited "‘Comical mans!’ he shouts at last ‘So you will kill me from the laughing Yes It Is hard to find the brave strong mans to aid my country Revolutions? Did I speak of one word I say big strong mans Is need In Guatemala So The mistake Is of you You have looked In those one box containing those gun for the guard You think all boxes Is contain gun? No no There Is not But work? Yes war In Guatemala Good T’irty dollar In the month' You shall shoulder one pickax senor and dig for the liberty and prosperity of Guatemala Off to your v ork The guard waits for you’ “ ‘Little fat poodle dog of a brown man’ says I quiet but full of Indignations and discomforts ‘things shall happen to you Maybe not right away but as soon as J Clancy can formulate somethin’ In the way of repartee’ “The boss of the gang orders us to threats against any man but there’s an account to be settled between the man and railroad James O'Dowd Clancy’ '"Twas that way I thought mesllf at first’ Halloran says with a big sigh ’until I got to be a The fault’s wid these tropics They rejulces a man's system' ’Tls a land as the poet says: “Where It always seems to be after dinner” I does me work and smokes me pipe and sleep There's little else in life anyway Ye’ll get that way yerself mighty Don’t be harborin’ any soon at all Clancy’ " ‘I can’t help It’ says I Tra full of I enlisted In the revolutionary ’em army of this dark country In good faith to fight for Its liberty honors and silver candlesticks instead of which I am set to amputatin’ its scenery and 'Tls the general grubbln’ Its roots man will have to pay for lb “Two months I worked on that railroad before I found a chance to get One day a gang of us was sent away back to the end of the completed line to fetch some picks that had been sent down to Port Barrios to be sharpened They were brought on a handcar and I noticed when we started away that the car was left there on the track “That night about twelve I woke up Halloran and told him my scheme ’’’Run away?’ says Halloran 'Good Lord Clancy do ye mean It? Why I ain’t got the nerve It's too chilly and I ain’t slept enough Run away? told you Clancy I’ve eat the lettuce I’ve lost my grip ’Tls the tropics that's done it ’Tls like the poet says: "Forsaken are our friends that we In the hollow have left behind we will live and lay reclined” You better go on Claancy I’ll stay It’s too early and cold and I guess I’m sleepy’ “So I had to leave Halloran dressed quiet and slipped out of the tent we were In When the guard came along I knocked him over like away and his armee Is kill soldier they try find government General De Vega verree much They want catchee him for ahoot You think they catchee that general ' senor T ” ’Saints grant ltP says I 'T would be the Judgment of Providence for set tin’ the warlike talent of a Clancy to gradin’ the tropics with a pick and shovel But ’tls not so much a ques tion of Insurrections now me little man as ’tls of the problem ‘Tls anxious I am to resign a situation and trust with the of responsibility white wings department of your great and degraded country Row me In That your little boat out to that steamer and I’ll give ye five dollars— sinker pacers— sinker pacers’ says I reducin' the offer to the language and denoml nation of the tropic dialects “ ‘Clnco pesos’ repeats the little ’Five dollee you give?” man “’Twas not such a bad little man He bad hesitations at first sayln’ that leavin’ the country had to passengers have papers and passports but at last be took me out alongside the steamer was Just breakin’ as we struck “Day her and there wasn't a soul to be seen on board The water was very still and the gave me a lift from the boat and I climbed onto the Bteamer where her side was sliced to the deck for loading fruit The hatches was open and I looked down and saw the cargo of bananas that filled the I hold to within six feet of the top hinks to myself ‘Clancy you better The It’s safer go as a stowaway steamer men might hand you back to the employment bureau The tropics ’ll get you Clancy If you don’t watch out" “So I Jumps down easy among the and digs out a hole to hide In among the bunches In an hour or so I could hear the engines goin' and feel the steamer rockin’ and I knew we were oft to sea They left the hatches open for ventilation and pretty soon It was light enough In the hold to see fairly well I got to feelln’ a bit hungry and thought I’d have a light fruit lunch by way of refreshment I creered out of the hole I'd made and stood up straight Just then I saw another man crawl up about ten feet away and reach out and skin a banana and stuff It Into his mouth and 'Twas a dirty man ragged and disgraceful of aspect Yes the man was a ringer for the pictures of the fat Weary Willie in the funny papers I looked again and saw it was my general man— De Vega the and great revolutionist Importer When he saw me the general hesitated with his mouth filled with banana and his eyes the size of cocoanuts ” ‘Hist!’ I says or ’Not a word they’ll put us off and make us walk I adds copperin’ “Veer la Liberty-’the sentiment by shovin’ a banana Into the source of It I was certain the general wouldn’t recognize me The nefarious work of the tropics had left me lookin’ different There was half an Inch of roan whiskers coverin’ my face and my costume was a pair of blue overalls and a red shirt “ 'How you come in the ship senor? asked the general as soon as he could speak “‘By the back door — whist!’ says I Twas a glorious blow for liberty wo struck I continues: ‘but we was overLet us accept powered by numbers our defeat like brave men and eat an- bananas other banana’ KNOCKED HIM OVER LIKE A NINEPINWITH A GREEN COCOANUT with a green cocoanut a ninepin I had and made for the railroad I got on that handcar and made it fly ’Twas I when saw go yet awhile before daybreak “’Tls a sorrowful fact for eight the lights of Port Barrios about a mile weeks I built railroads for that misbe- away I stopped the handcar there havin’- country I filibustered twelve and walked to the town “1 was wonderin’ how I was goln' to hours a day with a heavy pick and a spade choppln’ away the luxurious move away from them tropics without Dark as it was I landscape that grew upon the right of bein’ hired again We worked In swamps way that could see a steamer rldin’ In the bar smelled like there was a leak in the lor with the smoke emergin’ from her mains down etacks down as a fine I a little grassy turned gas trampin’ sortment of the most expensive hot- street that run down to the water house and vegetables On the beach I found a little brown plants “One old man named Halloran— a Just about to shove off In man of Hibernian entitlements and dis- a skiff ‘‘‘Hold on Sambo’ cretions explained it to me He had says I ‘eavvy been worktn' on the road a year Most English?’ “ ‘Heap of them died In less than six months plenty yes says he with a He was dried up to gristle and bone pleasant grin and shook with chills every third “'What Bteamer Is that?” I asks And ulght hlnv ‘and where Is It going? "When you first come’ says he what’s the news and the good word 'ye think ye'U leave right away But and the time of day?’ they hold out your first month's pay ‘"That steamer the Conchita said for your passage over and by that the brown man affable and easy time the tropics has its grip on ye rollin’ a cigarette ‘Him come from Ye're surrounded by a ragin' forest New Orleans for load banana Him got full of disreputable beasts— lions and load last night I think him sail in baboons and anacondas — waitin’ to de- one two hour Verree nice day we vour ye The sun strikes ye hard and shall be goln’ have You hear some melts the marrow in your bones Ye talkee ’bout big battle maybe so? You the think catchee General De Vega senor? get similar to the poetry book speaks about Ye forget Yes? No?’ the elevated slntiments of life such as "TIow’s that Sambo? says I ’Big of patriotism revenge disturbances battle? Wbat battle? Who wants the peace and the daclnt love of u catchee General De Vega? I’ve been Ye do your work and clano shirt up at my gold mines in the Interior ye swallow the kerosene lie and rub- for a couple of months and haven't ber pipestems dished up to ye by the heard any news’ Ye light your Dago cook for food " 'Oh says the proud to pipeful and say to yoursilf “Nixt week speak the English ‘verree great revoI’ll break away” and ye go to sleep one week ago lution In Guatemala and call yersilf a liar for ye know General De Vega him try be presidnt ye’ll never do It’ Him raise armee— one — five — ten thou‘"Who is this general man’ asks sand mans for fight at the government I 'that calls himself De Vega?’ Those government send five — forty-o- ne ' 'Tls the man’ says Halloran 'who hundred thousand soldier to supIs tryin’ to complete the finlshln’ of press revolution They fight big bat’Twas the project of a tle yesterday at Lomagrande— that the railroad It private corporation but busted and about nineteen or fifty mile In the then tho government took it up De mountain That government soldier Vegy Is a big politician and wants to wheep General De Vega— oh most had The people want the Five hundred — nine be prisident hundred —two as they’re taxed thousand of his mans Is kill railroad completed That The De Vegy revolution ery Is smash suppress— mighty on account of man Is pushtn It along as a campaign him General De Vega quick move' away fast on one big mule “ “Tls not my way says I 'to taako Yes carrambos The general him work I tramps off with the Guineas and I hears the distinguished patriot and kidnaper laughin’ hearty as we it “ ‘Were you In the cause of liberty flghtin’ senor?’ says the general shed din’ tears on the cargo “To the last’ says I Twas I led the last desperate charge against the But It made of the tyrant them mad and we was forced to retreat Twas I general procured the minions mule upon which you escaped Could little morgue of a ’Twas sorrowful to hear the little dirty general tell the opprobrious story of bow he put salt upon the tall of that reckless and silly bird Clancy Laugh he did hearty and long He shook with laughin’ the rebel and outcast standln’ In bananas without friends or country “’Ah senor’ he snickers ’to the death would you have laughed at that drollest Irish I say to him- "aong big mans Is need very much In Guatemala” “I will blows strike for your country” he say- “That shall you do” I tell him Ah! It was an Irish so comic He see one box break upon the wharf that contain for the guard a few gun He think there Is gun In all the box But that Is all plekax Yes Ah senor could you the face of that Irish have seen when they set him to the work!’ “Twas thus the of the loy--ut bureau contributed to the tedium of the trip with merry Jests and anecdote But now and then he would weep unon the bavanns and make oration about the lost cause of liberty and the mule “ Twas a pleasant sound when the steamer bumped against the pier in New Orleans Pretty soon we heard the of hundreds of bare foot and the Dago gang that unloads the fruit Jumped on the deck and down Into the hold Me and the general worked a while at passln up the bunches and they thought we were of the gang After about half an part hour we managed to slip off the steamer onto the wharf “ Twas a great honor on the hands of an obscure Clancy havin’ the entertainment of the representative of a great foreign filibusterin' power I first bought for the general and myself many drinks and things to eat that were not bananas The general mpn trotted along at my side leavin’ all the arrangements to me I led him up to Lafayette Square and set him on a bench In the little park Cigarettes I had bought for him and he humped himself down on the seat like a little fat contented hobo look him over as he sets there and what I see pleases me Brown by nature and Instinct he Is now brindled with dirt and dust Praise to the mule his clothes Is mostly Yes the looks ol strings and flaps the general man Is agreeable to his line Clancy “I told him not to move from the bench and then I went up to the corner of Poydras and CarondeleL Along there Is O’Hara’s beat In five minutes along comes O’Hara a big fine man with shinin’ buttons swingin’ his club “‘Is E04C workln’ yet Danny? says I walkin’ up to him ‘Overtime’ says O’Hara lookin’ over rme suspicious ‘Want some ol it?’ i Is the celebrated city ordinance authorizin’ arrest conviction and Imprisonment of persons that succeed In concealin’ their other crimes from the police “'Don’t ye know Jimmy Clancy? ‘Ye says I monster!’ So when O'Hara recognized me beneath the scandalous exterior bestowed upon me by the tropics I backed him into a doorway and told him what I wantei and why I wanted itv ‘All right ’Go back and Jimmy’ says O’Hara hold the bench I'll be along In ten minutes’ “In that time O’Hara strolled through Lafayette Square and spied two Weary Willies disgracin’ one ol In ten minutes more J the benches Clancy and General DO Vega late candidate for the presidency of Guatemala was In the station houso The general Is badly frightened and calls his distinguish-mentupon me to proclaim and rank The man’ says I to the police 'used to he a railroad man He’s on the bum now 'Tls a little bughouse he is on account of losin his Job’ “‘Carrambos!’ says tb® general like a JIttle r fountain ‘you fought senor with my forces In my native country Why do you say the lies? You shall say I am the General De Vega one soldier one Caballero “ ’Railroader’ says I again ’On the No good Been livin’ for three hog days on stolen bananas Look at him Ain’t that enough?’ "Twenty-fiv’"liars or sixty days was what the recorder gave the general He didn’t have a cent so he took the time They let me go as I knew they would for I had money to show and O’Hara knew me Sixty days Twas Just so long I slung a pick for the great country of Kam— ol you give that ripe bunch a little boost this way general? It’s a bit out of my reach Thanks’ ’Say you so brave patriot?” said ’Ah Dios! the general again weepin And I have not of the means to reward Barely did I my life your devotion bring away Carrambos! what a devil’s animal was that mule senor! Like ships in one storm was I dashed about The skin of myself was ripped away with the thorns and vines Upon tho bark of a hundred trees did that beast of the infernal bump and cause outrage to the legs of mine In the night to Port Barrios I came I dispossess myself of that mountain of mule and I find hasten along the water shore a little boat to be tied I launch myself and row to the steamer I cannot see any mans on board so I climb one rope which hang at the side I then myself hide in the bananas Surely I say If the ship captains view me they shall throw me again to those Guatemala” There was a look of Clancy paused Those things are not gnod Guatemala happy content on bis deeply sunburnGuatemala will shoot General De Vega Therefore I am hide and remain silent ed face “Would Life itself is glorious you Just step around the Liberty It is pretty good but so good as life I do corner a minute with me?” he asked "If ye don’t mind I’ll walk with ye not think’ "That General De Vega was a man there and show ye Exhibit A I ge Inhabited by an engorgemert of words around there myself every ten minHe added to the utes to look at It and the time's and sentences about up now” monotoify of the voyage by divestin’ I walked with him to the corner of He believed himself of conversation was a revolutionist of his own party Ursullnes and down tho street a little A gang of men under guard me bein’ told way as a good be there t work many Americans and other foreigners from the parish prison in Its ranks ’Twas a braggart and a cleaning the very rubbishy street thus conceited little gabbler it was though working out the fines they were unbe considered himself a hero ’Twa3 able to pay otherwise on himself he wasted all his regrets Clancy stopped me on the sidewalk Not a word opposite a little rotund nt the fullin’ of his plot did the little balloon have to say man of foreign aspect who was strugabout the other misbehavin’ idiots that gling feverishly with a heavy Iron had been shot or run themselves to rake The heat was almost tropical and the little man showed vast areas death In his revolution “The second day out he was feelln’ of dampness through hla- - tattered pretty braggy and uppish for a stowed clothes Claroy away conspirator that owed his exist“Iley monseer!" called The little man lookeJ up ami ence 'to a mule and stolen bananas sharply scowled darkly He was tellln’ me about the great rail“Est strorg man" road he hid been buildln' and be re- shouted Clancy cheerily “is needed In lates what he calls a comic incident New Orleans Yes To carry on tbu about a fool Irishman he Inveigled good work Carrambosl IOrm gn from New Orleans to sling a nick on bragh!” ' |