Show A DOLLARS TWO Buys a splendid watch for a boy Will get him to school on time and stand a whole lot of hard usage Guaranteed Just the same as the expensive ones Others at from $5 $750 and up We pay the STRANGE THINGS FOUND IN VARIOUS PORTIONS OF THE EARTH ds on purchai or over of $) salt lake CURSE ud A POSITIVE PERMANENT CURE FOR Drunkenness and Opium Diseases tickaatt UiiH trKtfd u THE TWra It M MlbKdtr M prirathr as ia av ham 334 Saath TaaipU Strart tkr HUDocn Plucked in Service of Voman Salt Lak CHr CTIIIDO beats stencils line Rubber Type Outfits and auppllea in stock’ Mall orders receive prompt attention ALT LAK1 STAMP CO lt Laks City A Missing Souvenir "I have heard all Jdads of queer names for much abused automobile drivers" said Contractor John L Joyce who himself is an enthusiastic chauffeur "but thq queerest 1 ever heard was used a few days ago by an old gentleman from Crab Creek "It was the day after Eearnest fire and I was going out on the The old gen: Albert street car line tleman took a seat alongside ol me and the conversation turning to current events we fell to discussing the fire “‘That was quite a fire wasn’t it?’ said the old gentleman “‘Yes’ I replifed ‘Three machines destroyed’ " So I heard’ said the old gentleman Three machines destroyed and now they can’t find the souvenir’”— Youngstown Telegram GREATEST MOTHER IN WORLD v graph’ The Sixth Sense a primary school examination which I once had the pleasure to preside one of the questions was with regard to the five senses One of the handled the subject bright pupils In over thus: "The five senses are: Sneezing sobcoughing By bing crying yawning the sixth sense is meant an extra one This is snorwhich some folks have ing” — Woman’s Home Companion He Spoke beau was bantering Myrtilla’s sister “I hear that Jimmy Jenkins is courting you Elsie” he said “now don’t you think he's beginning rather young?” “Oh no” said the wise child “he’ll have his mind made up to probably propose by the time we’re both grown Sorry The greatest mother in the world is Mrs Jane Morris' reperhaps the siding in Jackson county near foothills of the Cumberland mountains In Kentucky Mrs Morris was born and reared in the mountains has little education and until a few years ago had never been outside of her Immediate vicinity there being to this time no railroad In Jackson county Her claim to greatness lies In the fact that she can boast of a total of 618 descendants nearly all of whom are living and none of whom ever has been accused of crime "My life’s motto has been” said the venerable old mother the other day "the Golden Rule The duty of a wife Is to her home and her country to bear the burden of motherhood In strict accordance to the laws of nature and my obedience to the same I is why at the age of can glory In the fact that out of the great number of my children not one in ah Inmate of any school of reform or asylum of any Jail penitentiary latter described how when Fabecame exhausted ‘he English seized and dragged him near the shore but three times the heavy wash exthem out swept Becoming hausted himself Father Walsh lost his hold and seeing It was only a his with of moments matter raised his hand and gave him A moment later Father absolution English disappeared his body being recovered later ther SAVED BY HIS CAT HOTEL a Margaret’s Knight Errant By IDA DONNELLY ! Copyright igio by Associated “You and Aunt Jean never seem to realize that I care to be like other girls!” cried' Margaret with should “Even you flashing eyes know that simplicity is out of data A girl if she wishes a nowadays to be so good time cannot afford different from others in her set” "Forgive me Margaret” pleaded the young clergyman with a gleam of something more than mere friendship in his kindly face "Only yesterday dear girl would have been you amused at so marvelous a transformaWAT TYLER’S ENORMOUS BOOT tion But to me you are always beautiful and dear and sweet” No man living in England has a of the She was keenly conscious more remarkable collection of relics voice In the clergyman’s than Lord Llangattock at the Hendre tenderness and face there was undoubtedly Monmouth Amongst them is an anIn her own heart that relomethlng cient and clumsy boot whlchbelonged was all to the celebrated Wat Tyler Invited sponded to it but alas it ao matter of fact she could rely too to a parley at Smithfleld with Richard his considered II in 1380 Tyler addressed the king aurely on what she had He affection commonplace boarded with her aunt the farmer Marwidow sir"e clergyman’s ant she had garet’s early girlhood passed the hajf of every year under the same roof with him They were too much on the plane of humdrum ever to be friendship anything more she told herself petulantly Her young soul yearned for great heart throbbing undying roin mystery shrouded mance And all this she believed she handsome had found In the godlike Perclval Harriston She had frequently met this youth at afternoon teas and from the first he had singled her out for particular he had murattention Yesterday mured to her in his inimitable manner: ‘‘I am longing to see you without your hat i nd veil for I know you Of Mrs Morris’ children Lewis had only one child and Bettie died without while Fannie and Lydia are quarrying still living but never married A summary of Mrs Morris’ descendants follows: I look like a dear little French marpuffs and quise with your pompadour curls" 'A Grand- - Grand- - Blaetter Grand total— Mrsi Morris is said by all who know to live well up to the Golden Rule she has taken as her life’s motto her ABSOLVED WHILE DROWNING A dramatic story was told at the inquest at Dalkey (County Dublin) on Father English of Dublin who was drowned one day lately while swimming with Father Walsh at Dalkey v celeThere Is no more picturesque bration at Bea than the ancient cereFor mony of crossing the equator centuries no ship big or little has "crossed the line” without paying honor to Neptune however crudely Of late years these ceremonies are often elaborately staged The sensation of crossing the equator is unfamiliar even to the most experienced travelers Passenger traffic moves around the world along paralled lines and while 10000 voyagers cross the Atlantic ocean few sail from the north to south Atlantic thus carrying them across the equator Only last year the first large party of tourists “crossed the line” Incidental to a trip from the United States to South America The party consisted of 350 Americans and the celebration of the crossing the first in by so many pleasure participated seekers in the history of passenger traffic surpassed all precedent Before sailing from New York the Bluecber was equipped with all the iinrl material required for the celebration The initiation of the enWhen tire ship's company followed the ceremonies were at an end each was presented with an elaborate document stating that the owner had paid his respects to Neptune in proper form and that hereafter according custom of the seas to the proverbial he would be permitted to cross the line without further initiation On the morning the Bluecher neared the equator Neptune and his took court elaborately costumed throne their places on an improvised One by one the on the upper deck luckless tourists were ceremoniously the king who Judged taken before the penalty the case and announced The prisoner was sentenced to receive either a hair cut a bath or a Bhave or all three Escape was imThose who attempted to possible were hiding dodge the Judge by sought out by four brawny “police1 men” Even the women were initiated but more mildly Press Hence the towering structure adornwaving ing her hitherto smoothly locks and the amused astonishment whose expression of the clergyman had now changed to one of trouble as he gazed at the small figure of the turned her girl who had resolutely back upon him Mr HarAt this crucial moment riston was announced Perclval had Just the right shade of warmth in his languid brown eyes when he greeted Margaret and somehow though her heart was not satisfied she felt pleased and excited at his melancholy air "A golden background for the goddess” he breathed softly as he gl’t seat placed her in an automobile himself at after which he arranged armease in a wide chair There seemingly oblivious of her he sat the entire evening discomfort gazing tenderly Into her eyes and sweet nothings in her murmuring willing 'ears The saccharine quality of the conand the romantic type of versation not could Perclval’s beauty quite blind her to the consciousness of the troubled face as he sat clergyman’s at the writing table in the library nor that her aunt Just beyond glanced in the parlor disapprovingly as she rustled by to Join the ldnely figure This evening was the beginning of daily meetings with the exquisite Mr Harriston qnd his sad Impressive continued to fascinate the dignity figure visionary ' “You are unjust to him aunti He really cares for big things In Ilf at He tells me often of bis longing to deeds for the ei good perform great mankind none too “Humph" grunted patient Aunt Jean “If he could bo Induced o get off the pedestal built on bis love of self for a minute and e use a little It would be much more to th point than all this dreamy moon- shine" Aunt “You are unjust to Perpival Jean” repeated Margaret well what can “Perclval Perclval one expect any way from a man with a name like that” "Please don’t auntie” "Very well I’ll say no more but is that in your my chief consolation heart you care no more for him than I do You are fascinated by his romantic looks and speech I pray earnestly dear child that you do not throw away beyond recall th substance for the shadow” And Aunt Jean left Margaret to her f own not very happy reflections On a Saturday afternoon not long after this conversation Margaret went for a stroll In the park with Mr Harwas riston It an ideal red gold and' green autumn day Every grass plot with in the park was filled gay children but finally Maiy laughing and garet and Perclval discovered took possession of a bench in a pathway deserted but for an infant sleeping peacefully in a baby carriage his languishing brown belooking unutterable things hold forth In the language that seemed to go so well with bis type of manhood while Margaret sat listening entranced “I assure you Miss Starfleld la not dead” he went on “the things one can grandiloquently do in these modern days are as great as chivalrous and are of as noble larger Import than most pf the deeds And when done by knights of old the chance comes to me to prove this I promise you I shall be ready" “Oh If Aunt Jane and some others could only hear him now they could of his fall to be convinced not manhood" whispered Marsplendid garet to her own soul "In the meantime" resumed Perclval “I —" Before he could say more a terrified scream rent the air had The baby carriage opposite started down the sloping pathway from and was perilously careening The Infant was yelling side to side Perclval Neptune’s Court on the Line ' Literary “Margaret" began her aunt on night after one of Perclval’s calls “do not get it Into your bead that Harriston is any more than colossal bluff He doesn’t care for thing on earth or in heaven beyond his own pretty self” “Oh Aunt Jean if that be trust why should he come here?" "He comes here for the reason h s frequents teas and other silly for the sake of th functions Incense who you and other women should have more sense pour out ao liberally before the shrine of his eyes gan 13 PETERS tap Writing in a London (Eng) paper an officer relates a most curious instance of a cat unintentionally saving the life of a man Some time ago he says be ras In a collision catastrophe In which a steamer sunk a sailing The steamer’s ship in the Atlantic boats were promptly lowered and the darkness (it was notwithstanding night) saved a number of the crew of Those in the sailing ships charge of the boats thinking that they had saved all were about to return to their steamer when they heard the Rowing up piteous mewing of a cat to the sound they lifted a cat out of On this the the water and as she was raised the lifting up his sword stunned Tyler with head of a man rose from under her Mayor Walworth He was the last of the men of the his mace and one of the king’s knights The sole and heel him sailing ship and the cat had taken dispatched He was uncon-- I of this boot are enormous and on the refuge on his head but was resuscitated so all scious of the leg is the mark of a the men were saved Aunt Jane as she Is called Is eighty-slyears old and says she expects to live to be a hundred and to see descendants of the fifth generation Her husband died 20 years ago six years after they had celebrated their golden She never married again wedding as It may seem the and remarkable entire number of descendants are from this one union Her most productive child is Hannah Lakes who had 16 children and has more than eighty descendants but Mrs Sallle Sparks follows closely with 15 children 29 grandchildren and Specialization Doctor — What can I do for you? Patient — I have cut my index finger Doctor — Very sorry But I am a specialist on the middle finger — Not Enough For All Tommy — Pop does the earth go round? Tommy’s Pop — Yes my son but it wouldn’t if it was divided among all the people who want it — Philadelphia Record i ON GREAT A curious tradition lingers around the Savoy Hotel London where some wonderful alterations have Just been carried out When this great establishment was first opened It had a One of the singular run of directors seeking to learn the cause of It was told an odd story The land on which the hotel was built had formerly belonged to a monastic order which was expelled at the Reformation the property being confiscated On leaving the abbot bad cursed the ground declaring tbat any enterprise connected with it should not prosper On bearing this tale the director sought out a monastery of the exorder which still exists in pelled Devonshire and by much tact and diplomacy Induced the abbot there to go through the form of removing the No one who is aware of the curse position the Savoy holds in London today can doubt that the removal was effective kind” up!” A Shot at Teddy Jed Prouty — I see that Roosevelt is now workin’ on a Noo York magazine HI Holler— Well got the they’ve right man in the right place if he's conductin’ the column — : The SAILOR the Just Stood Pat Talk about being between two fires Camden man was aroused by his wife the other night who said she thought a burglar was in the house and wanted papa to go downstairs and chase him Papa promptly declined “What’s the matter?” scornfully asked wlfey "are you afraid?” “No” replied the old man replacing his head upon the pillow “But while I’m downstairs chasing the burglar you’ll be going through my clothes so It’s about six in one and a half dozen In the other” — Philadelphia Tele- ""T More like a plucked turkey on stilts than the big feathery bird we all know Is the oetrloh after he hae been robbed of hie plumes for the uee of women of fashion However though distressingly nude the ostrich doek not seem to mind his temporary condition but Is apparently quite happy ' for considerable time When one side is baked the other is turned Sheet after sheet is baked in this manner No salt is used in the batter and the bread has a sweetish taste It is usually blue taking the color of the corn from which it is made — Christian Science Monitor a ““““'' the Bread in Sheets Women of the Moki Indians in the deserts of New Mexico make bread in sheets no thicker than a sheet of paper The corn of which the bread Is made is ground between two heavy stones until it becomes very fine Then It is mixed with water and a very thin batter is spread on a hot stone over the fire where it is allowed to bake His Hobby A gentleman’ formerly attached to American embassy at London tells how an old country sexton in a certain town in visitors English showing round the church yard used to Btop at one tomb and say: "This ’ere is the tomb of 'Enrjr an’ ’is eleven wives 'Ooper "Eleven!” fexcalimed a tourist an one occasion: “Dear me! That’s rather a lot isn’t it?” the sexton Whereupon looking gravely at his questioner replied: “Well mum yet see it war an 'obby of ’is’n” — Harper’s Magazine - JasL WAS Song of the Road Stng a aong of the open road The "long brown road unending That wanders over the edge of the world To alien lands and skies To enchanted realms of “Otherwheres” Whither our youth are tending In vain pursuit of the ancient quest— Adventure and fair emprise And we who have followed the endless trail And Journeyed the wide world over And won at last a guerdon That lured us on to roam Well know that 'tls Idle useless Advising the youthful rover He must for himself discover That what he seeks Is home to lustily run Oh that carriage! “Stop cried Margaret to Perclval “How can you ask me to do anyThe Infant Is thing so ridiculous? The children in no danger But waiting to hear no more Marran after the and garet sprang up quickly moving little vehicle Her hair came down her pompaand her beautiful dour wilted puffs were lost forever Margaret always afterward maintained that simultaneously with the loss of her first hairpin Perclval disappeared behind some tree In one testing second she had learned to value him at his true worth she caught sight of the Suddenly lake in the distance The gleaming baby carriage was rushing toward It She rushed forward and reached the handle bars Just as the clergyman coming from a side path stepped In front of the carriage and indignant Over the squirming infant their eyes met And for the saw clearly and first time Margaret was them in that for There truly brief moment in all the world only music and one man and one girl laughter springtime and love run” The Distinction “There are the Bliggs boys They are the most remarkable pair of twins in the city" "Twins?” Is It possible? They don’t resemble each other In the least” “I know That is what makes them remarkable” |