Show T £ H 5 I? jl Vii A VOL 0emi-E3onth- Paper ljr Devoted to Cents Ocents Sense and nonsense SALT LAKE CITY OCTOBER 15 1870 2 NO 16 A 9TOB5I BREWING " r — “ Isay Capting ain’t there a storm a coming ?” ' Capt— “Aye aye! I've had my eye on it for some time” H Gr &Co— " You’d better run the vessel ashore or we’ll all be drowned” Capt— “ I think I know my duty I'm going to sail out where there is more sea room I’Ve weathered many a worse lem my time but if any of you land lubbers want to go ashore thete’s the icaste boat” (They all get in) V ® °‘ — Capting are you going ashore ? This is the last time we shall ask you If not? well cut you H Gr & Co - Capt-—- “ Cut away and be d— — d to you Brace up the head yards there forrard cut and away that let those lubbers drift we ye had ’em in tow long enough Now young men bear a hand there’s a heavy squall brewing and the town won t come to you you’ll have to do as Mahomet did go to it and all your spirituality won’t save that cockle shell of yours in the breakers” gas-war- p ! ! An Extra Charge T09 Many Smiths— In a certain Western city a man determined to get out a A clergyman in a certain town in Mas- directory They never had one there besachusetts having occasion to call in the fore and it was anticipated with a great services of a brother minister tendered to deal of pleasure Everybody was rejoichim at the close of the day the usual fee ing about it But the printer who was to for preaching which in these days (it set the book up found that he had runout was before the war) was ten dollars of all his capital S’s belore he got as far Such a sum for such work was ' then as SMI and as he found he was going thought good pay But on this occasion to lose money on the job he determined the man seemed slow to take it and final- not to buy any more type So he told the ly said while putting it in bis pocket-boo- k foreman just to lead off all the rest of the names commencing with S with any capi— “I talked to the Sunday-schonearly tal letter that came handy There were n Smiths half an hour and besides I had some con- fifteen hundred and versation with an impenitent sinner on the in that town and when the directory steps of the church and I thought fifty came out the whole of them rushed to see their names in print It was ascertained cents more would beuabout right11 The extra charge seemed reasonable that every one of4 them was described uneven before the war when half a dollar der such names as Mith Pith Lith Jith had soum ‘purchase’ to it and was With Xith Fifth Hythe Githe lith Tith &ith and ever so many more of the readily paid sixty-seve- ’ ' ' - r same kind Fifteen hundred and sixty-sevmadder men than those fifteen hunn dred and Smiths never pranced around over the boundless prairies of the West They waited on the directory man in a body next morning but he toofc the early train for San Francisco and when last heard from had obtained a permanent situation in a Hong Kong temple as assistant idol maker That city is without a reliable directory yet en ' sixty-seve- Advantage of Embalmnig— The creatures that acknowledge the wealth of the defunct kings are jackals and The former turn mummy merchants them into food— the latterfinto merchandize By a late letter received By John McAllister from the Pyramids we learn that embalmed Pharaohs are gelling in Cairo at twenty dollars a cord—just less than the price of guano only two-thir- I $ ri V if |