Show THE KEEPAPITCHININ E17KOP1IAJT WAR SOMG By our Bod Lariette ” And tore the gold and purple down Thus ends our histor-e- e (to be continued) DEDICATED TO W T HARRIS Most of the foregoing was written and is sung with Ed Tune “Mabel Waltz" or “Mother ’ ' “ Go Out to ft trim or Old Nay Hundred ' THE WAR Special Dispatches to the “Keepa-pitcliinin- ” from onr own CorresponThe Queen of Spain she lost her crown dent When out upon a sree ) Prince Hohenzollern picked it up Mecioinburo Sciiwerin ec-s- I Saying “This belongs to me” I am September 15 1870 J with the King of Prussia Said Nap the 3d a hungry bird The intelligence that I was captured is A sitting on a tree false — as the surface of the ocean was “How dare he pick that bauble up guarded by French cruisers I traveled by submarine cable Napoleon lias just gone Without consulting me” to the front It is expected he will enter some German fortress and quarter himself King William was his kith and kiD on the enemy The French have abanRemoved but one degree (69m) Said William “Schmutzich donner bund! doned Home and the inhabitants are more abandoned than ever There are a great Yoost shtav right where you pe” many Homin' people here at present All the telegraphic news you have hitherto This bird of prey then screamed a scream received is false As fierce as scream could b© And sent his warlike navy out To sail upon the sea Then Nap and Billy went to work About this throne of she And mustered all their troopers out To gain the victor-e- e Napoleon took his only son Who sat upon his knee Said he “Now pick a bullet up Then you’ll resemble me” Then Louis said to his papa “What fools those Dutchmen be To cross the mighty Hellespont To come and fight with we” King William seized some needle guns And fired two or three Napoleon said “I’ve got the gout I feel it in my knee” He felt his courage oozing out His troops began to flee £aid Louis “Pap wo’d better go” And Nap he said “Oiei oui” “With needle guns” LordLyon3 said “ Patch up your peace” said he Td rather let it ript” said Bill “In this we can’t agree” Tlioy gobbled all the Frenchmen up Excepting two or three And these went straight to Paris town As mad as they could be Napoleon then dispatched his plate And all his finer-e- e And picking up a flag of truce Said “Louis follow me” “As I can’t find a bloody death Nor win a victor-e- e I’ve comp to give my person up” The king said “Fiddle-dee-dee” The French Cannaille then rose enmasse Along the Touileree now Napoleon is dead London 1st Paris 15 Napoleon has gone to tlie front London 15th 8 am The French army and navy were surrounded and blown to atoms by King William’s fusiliers sides Train 55 the train of Eugenie and Send me $150000 Geo Francis direct care of Sheri- dan Hustle STORMiSHuWhenPariswas stormed” Saxey says “the hailstones fell as large as pieces of chalk” That’s nothing After the recent storm in this city a Hailstone was picked up in the meatmarket weighing over one hundred pounds and the Snow on the Court Room floor was over five feet deep Conundrum — In what respect do the people of Paris differ from Americans? In their insanity Suicides in America are insane before they drown themselves- -in Paris they are afterwards Benjamin Franklin Mark Twain in his “Memoir of Ben Franklin” says: “What an adroit old adventurer the subject of this memoir was In order to get a chance to fly his kite on Sunday he used to hang a key on the string and let on lie was fishing lor lightning “He invented a stove that would smoke your head off in four hours by the clock One can see the almost infernal satisfaction he took in it by giving it his name “He was always proud of telling how he entered Philadelphia for the first time The Prussians are fortifying their capi- with nothing in the world hut two shiltal but Gen Trochu not satisfied with lings in his pocket and four rolls of bread the capture of the King and the destrucunder his arm But really when you tion of the llhine insists on holding Berlin come to examine it critically it was nothand Timbuctoo as guarantees of peace ing Anybody could have done it and all the World and even the New “Franklin said once in one ef his inYork Herald shall not s‘op him The spired flights of malignity — will the canon of scripture Pope says “ ‘Early to bed and early to rise soon be full if they keep on piling in amand wise’ munition The French think they could Makes a man healthy wealthy hold out if they only had a Grant from As if it were an object to a boy to be McMahon is dead but his sole healthy and wealthy and wise on such Congress goes marching on — Trochu wears his shoes terms The sorrow that that maxim has Napoleon “could not die at the head of cost me through my parents’ experimenthis army” He was very anxious to die ing on ine with it tongue cannot tell but did not know how to accomplish it The legitimate result is my present state You see they had no dye stuff out there so of general debility indigence and mental he went over on the Pacific slope The aberration My parents used to haveme New York reporters use a deal of soft soap up before nine o’clock in the morning and concentrated lye this hot weather sometimes when I was a boy If they had let me take my natural rest where Another Revolution of France! ' would I have been now? Keeping store Paris Midnight The world is upside down The sun no doubt and respected by all” has disappeared and all is dark General Consternation will assume command if Extracts of Emerson — I hate this Gen Trochu fails shallow Americanism which hopes to get King William wants 30000 more copies rich by credit to get knowledge by raps on of your paper distributed among the midnight tables to learn the economy of troops for which he will turn out a lot the mind by phrenology or skill without of Sedan chairs He attributes his success study or mystery without apprenticeship hitherto to the influence of “ Fitchinin ” or the sale of goods through pretending When they have no other resources it that they sell or power through making furnishes food (for reflection) believe you are powerful or through a The French ' exhibit great resignation packed iury or caucus bribery and “reunder their reverses most of the officers peating votes or wealth by fraud " r ‘ are resigning They think they haye have got it but they Bazaine is tolerably comfortable in Metz have got something else— a crime which but still Metz is not Nice calls for another crime and another devil There are thirteen more trains of artil- behind that these are steps to suicide lery and munitions expected in Paris be infamy and harming of mankind Paris 10 a m i |