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Show OPINION is MESDAY, rm APRIL 2, 2008 DIXIE SUN - 9 Editorial resignation ing9 endear1 A Recruiters on by CRAIG BLAKE Sun Dixie The moral of this story: If you dont stay on guard for summer sales recruiters, you may get'hit by a very fast bus. Just the other day a' recruiter visited me and my roommate at our apartment. One moment he was outside, and the next moment he was inside my apartment, sitting on the couch watching TV, as if to say, Hey, Im just here hanging out watching TV."-dont know how he did it. However, there is some- Opinion Editor With summer fast approaching, I cant help but get caught up thinking about NJmy favorite 1J summer activiti- es going to the beach, sand volleyball, traveling, to Inking, swimming, going satellia water park, selling te television door to door for hours on end in the heat every day scalding months. There is no for better way to a nice summer day than to leave your house, take a nice walk in the sun, get on a plane, fly a distant state, and sell really enjoy to a stranger a security em or television lineup. Mmmm... If that syst- channel summer. paragraph accurately describes you, I may already be too late. Now I understand that might actually sound like a time for some people, and I will support them completely. Here are some steps to make sure your summer sales experience gets off on the right decent J 21." One: Pack all your bags. Choose a great location that sounds like a fun place to sell something you have no mterest door for hour hour in the in door to upon thirsty debilitating summer heat for several blistering and possibly suffocating humid months. Step Two: Walk to your local Greyhound Bus Station. Step Three: front of a Jump in speeding bus. All in all I would guess both experiences are equally enjoyable, but this one takes a lot less time. . thing I deduced about summer sales recruiters: They are all ninjas. And last time I checked, ninjas are sneaky, and the first chance they get they will stab you in the back with a nunchuck. And that is not counting Chuck Norris. The difference is that Chuck Norris is not sneaky, and the first chance he gets he will hurl a cantaloupe at your head. I haye seen it happen. The second chance he gets he will show you how to do a great workout on the Totalgym. The third chance he gets he will try to build your Anyway, I think weve established that ninjas of any sort cant be trusted. This was just one of the thoughts crossing my mind when this recruiter .stealthily entered my living room along with: What is he doing? Why wont he leave us alone? Can he not see I am eating a sandwich? and Where is his black suit? Another thing I noticed is summer sales recruiters desperately want to give you free pizza. They work all summer to save up enough money to come home and give everyone they meet a bunch of free self-estee- pizza. I will give them that one. Very considerate. Thank you, recruiters, for your kind and generous offers of free pizza for everyone. What a great example of kindness. Another thing typical of recruiters is they can' often be found saying these phrases: Hey, how would you like a free Xbox!? or Cool man, bring all your friends! The second I hear any of these sentences I begin to nod my head and rapidly shout out similar language, Cool! Yeah! Money! Sounds fun!-Goo- deal! .Xbox! . I h havent quite figured out this recruiter language, but whatever it is, that strategy generally seems to appease them. 'The con- versation goes something like this: Recruiter. Hey, how would you like a free Xbox!? . ' . Craig: Cool! Recruiter: Tell you what bro, come down to our office, eat some free pizza, and just chill, and 'we are going to raffle one off! Craig: Yeah! Recruiter: Cool man, bring all your friends! Craig: Money1 In any case, I havent been hit by h bus or strangled to death with a pair of nunchucks yet, and I think that is a pretty great accomplishment. My final advice would be to stay on guard for those recruitment pitches, think ' of all exciting things you might do with your summer, and watch your back, because you never know, when Chuck- . Norris might be standing the-mo- re behind you, hurling a cantaloupe at your head. - e? Not quite yet I am a pret-t- y It, easygoing guy, I think. Ij Usually any-j-j , body can talk t0 me a':,ou' just about any-LJ thing, even soiMthing borderline tensive, and I can just rush it off with no prob-em- . But I swear, if one ore person in this world s'ts me when I am going 0 get married, I am going to ri'' v , explode. Can I get the an amen from congregation? know there are handfuls of co-- . Cress ets here on campus applauding the way I feel. of Jv you know what I am talking about... the nause- ng, wretched persecu-W- n that we as students deal with singleafter day after day after day is pushing me to the point .''here ram about to declare myself single for e and tattoo it to my drehead so I dont get any thore stupid questions. t,i! s ridiculous that every Jhe I call home, every he I start up a conversa-with someone on cam-Phand every time I talk one of my aunts, uncles, cousins, sis-Wuparents' hrothers-in-lawbecause I n edit v , uaches, best baby nieces, pup-tor friends, tirst lmagrnary thing they want to is when they can be a new member family, whos my n lucky prospect, or v.?w,soon I will be asking a ?ate to wed. Um, ah, I think Im going to (JU-ctin- h wait and make sure she is a girl first.... Even if I am just formally introduced to someone brand new, the first question Im asked (after my name) goes something like, So, hows the dating life, you have any or When can prospects? invitation comI expect an eh the mail, in ing along or You look like a fme young man, how come there isnt a nice young woman attached to your arm? Oh, I don t know, because I m not probably get married yet, ready to not a Siamese and Im twin either! It is even more ridicuout lous when I have been on a date with a girl Imore puli times than one, and secin at night after our ond or third date, and my buddies automatically assume Im making plans for marriage and start if she is the one asking and when she can be big expecting some niceNot rock on her finger. whatat least until I find out gosft her last name is, for sakes! Cant you see J didnt go to Jared?! the beginAnd thats just ol ning of the entourage irritation and persecution that I and many other unwed single adults are in this day going through and age. I cant what guys who are older with. than me are dealing almost am and 23 Im only to be halfway pushed Udvar-Hazjumping off the I have a building. single cousin who is pusnthe it boggles and 30, ing mind to think he has lasted this long with all tne y bullying and discrimfnation pressuring him from all angles. . Why cant people ask us different-questiondealing with our lives? Why does every single stupid non-- " important conversation with anyone have to start out with something about marriage? Why cant they ask us questions like, Hows school going down south? or What are your plans for the summer? or What type of doughnut would you say is your favorite? Anything besides the infuriating . unmarinquiry about our ried existence is better. Its not that I absolutely hate marriage and am gong to start a strike against married couples. s 1 an overall wonderful thing to be a part.of and is someshould thing everybody opporprobably have theleast at tunity to enjoylives. It s just once in their that with a divorce rate above 50 percent in the to country, I would like take longer than 10 min- Im sure marriage ZAJthough unsettled and unclear, the sudden resignation of President Lee Caldwell and the nearly immediate appointment of his replacement have raised concern among Dixie State College students, faculty and staff. Caldwell, who acted as president for ' less than three years and oversaw many of the institutions progressive steps forward, announced his resignation Thursday amid a flurry of unanswered questions. Both the resignation and the mterim appointment have stirred rumors that Caldwells decision to step down was heavily influenced by pressure from the Board of Regents. During Caldwells tenure, DSC expanded in both size and offerings, increasing its.baccalaureate programs from four to 11 while enrolling and graduating more students than ever before. New, specialized programs were added to assist students in diverse fields, including the Utah Peace Officer Standards and Training and Reserve Officers Training Corp. According to an article in the Salt Lake Tribune by Brian Maffly titled Dixie State College president resigns; Stephen Nadauld named successor on March 27, Donna Diliingham-Evans- , DSC vice president of academics, said, His Caldwell frame of reference is always about what is best for students. It is disquieting for some of those students whose best interests were always Caldwells top priority to see such an interabrupt change, almost a hush-husim appointment, and no explanation for any of it. If the driving force for the advancement of student academics and preservation of student privileges is opposed and removed, it seriously calls into question the motives of those standing in opposition. The transition from Caldwell to Nadauld was not spontaneous; it was deliberate and According to another Maffly article on March 28 titled College'president abruptly resigns, Nadauld said Regents is e utes to decide who my companion is going to be. Im sure the first question that I am going to be asked from anybody after this paper comes out is throw when I am going tolife away my bachelora mce and settle down with .sweet young woman. It s not going to make a to ence if I keep trying put marup a fight against Ill probably riage. be by the already engaged time you got don ro&ding this. lile-tim- Dixie-shake-u- recruited him in February. In the same article, Russ Behrmann, St. J George chamber of commerce director, said: Caldwell at times had taken strong -positions with the Regents. We are aware of how hard he pushed for the expanded mission of Dixie and addmg more baccalaureate programs. Sometimes those fights take a toll, on a person or on relationships. Expanding the mission of Dixie and ; adding more baccalaureate programs hardly seems like a fight Caldwell should have had to engage in, yet, according to Behrmann, there were those who opposed J his expansion. . j Caldwells resignation comes at a cru- cial time for DSC, while talks of affiliation ; with the University of Utah remain a heat-- ; ed subject both for the school and the community. The sudden change does hint at undertones of a Board of Regents private agenda, and while this remains speculative, removing a colleges president, if that is what occurred, in the middle of perhaps its most critical stage would have otherwise been not only unwise but also potentially detrimental. While many pf the details surrounding these'recent events remain blurry, it is certain the Board of Regents made prepa- rations for a transition months back so it was not an unprompted move to appoint an interim president. Given the reaction to the resignation, some feel no answer is as much ah answer as a full disclosure and so far, little explanation has been provided. Whether the Board of Regents intention was to appoint a yes man in order to further their own agenda or Caldwells, resignation truly came as a result of personal reasons, is, at this point, unclear, but thats the problem. Apparently no one -sees the need to inform the individuals this institution is here for the students. Until then, speculation will unavoidably spread, and student concern for whats really being done in their behalf will remain unsure and unsettling. 1 - j tight-lippe- d . Through the looking glass BY MIKE PINGREE MCT I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU COUNTY JAIL INMATE: A woman, who was facing trial for driving while her license was suspended for drunk driving, made matters worse by threatening a woman on the jury. Police found out about it after the trial, and issued a warrant for her arrest. So, when she showed up to be married the next day at the county courthouse in Gering, Neb., the cops nabbed her right in front of her wedding party.' AH, THAT BREEZE IS SO REFRESHING: A woman, driving naked at 9 a.m. in Shamokin Dam, Pa., crashed into another car on the wrong side of the road. Police didn't know why she was not wearing any clothes. SO ALL YOU'VE REALLY GOT IS CIRCUMSTANTIAL EVIDENCE: A man in Woronora, Australia, admitted killing his broth- er by stabbing him in the chest more than a dozen times. His parents' bodies were also found in the home, both stabbed in the chest more than a dozen-timewith the same knife, but the man claimed he did not kill them, SO WE HAVE A GOOD IDEA WHO HE IS: A man, stopped at a drunk driving checkpoint in Charleston, S.C., suddenly hit the gas and tried to flee. Unfortunately for him, he had already given the cop his drivers license. CRAZY LOVE: A mar- ried therapist who was supposed to be treating an inmate in the psychiatric unit of a prison in Lancashire, England, engaged in a sexual rela- tionship with him and became pregnant as a EXCUSE ME, SON, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? A began siphoning gasoline out of a.parked car in Lambertville, Mich., Things that are lame BY CRAIG BLAKE Sun Opinion Editor Dixie are a few suggestions you can use in its place, Ooo... I Congratulations on making another seamless transition, one.step farther away from any sort of conMTV - nection to music to now airing the same episode of Americas Next Top Model 24 hours a day for a week. Im sure this really pleases the booming Americas Next Top Model fan base. Just about every day I hear something along the lines of, I just about gave up on MTV, but then they began to tirelessly air Americas Next Top Model over and over all day, and I just cant get enough! Overusing Awkward" Never since random have we had such an overused word crisis. When will it end?! Have you considered the rest of the English language? Here mmm feel quite uncomfortable, or 'Aah! Americas Next Top Model - Honestly, who is watching this show? Are you watching this show? You and Tyra Banks both. MonsterUFO Hunter Failures 1 love watching these shows. I hold my breath every episode hop-- ' ing they will end the program with, And then we found this very scary Chupacabra! or, And here is a real live space ship! But every airing crushes my spirits. Im starting to doubt that the Yeti even exists. Show yourself! Class Monopolizers Your personal input is not interesting enough to displace geology instruction. That is shocking even to me. - unaware that it was an unmarked police vehicle, and that a sheriff's deputy on a stakeout was sitting inside. j I'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF THIS DRUG TEST, BUT HOW? In order to avoid going to work where he would have to take a scheduled drug test, a man in Pasco, Wash., convinced his friend to shoot, him in the shoulder. DIXIE SUN Casie McNaughton, Editor in chief Rachel Tanner, News Editor Craig Blake, Opinion Editor Jared Barton, Sports Editor Jackie Fletcher, A & E Editor Bonnie Coleman, Lifestyles Editor Amanda Anderson, Photo Editor Josh Black, Ad Manager Ashley Blake Elliott Buclcr Brock Bybee Melissa Contreras Karen Curl Brittany Lish Kevin McArthur Carly McClellan Whitney Phillips Brett Pruitt Tyler Roberts Whitney Roberts Brad Thomas Brent Wilson Kristen Shimorruya Rhiannon Bent, Adviser DIXIE SUN HOW TO REACH US Dixie State College CareerFinancial Aid Bldg. 225 South 700 East Sl George, UT 84770 Phone: (435)'652-781- Fax: (435) dixiesundixie.edu ' http:sun.thxie.edu The DIXIT SLN ii distributed each 'iednesdas dur Fall and Spring semesters ai a publication of in Dixie State College, Arts, Letters and Sciences, and Dixie Snte College Student Actisities The unsigned editorial on the opinion page represents the position of DIXIT Sl N as determined b its editorial board Oiherxuse, the siexis and opinions expressed in D1 XI f SL N arc those o! the tndiwdml men and do not nccessaril) reflect the opinions ol DIXIE SL X or ans emits ol the college , |
