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Show Strike way too long CWCK WOf&lS 5V OP Katie Couric: "Hello I'm Katie Couric... and I'm not really sure what happened today. I have absolutely no idea what the news is. Nope... no idea. Nothing... sooo... thank you for tuning in. I just don't have any news for you. No news whatsoever... nope... Please keep watching this show! Don't change the channel! Please keep watching this show! And now it's time for a commercial break." Unfortunately, a commercial writers' strike would most definitely ruin that commercial break for everyone. How can. anyone sell these products if no one knows how to word it correctly? Announcer with Booming Voice: "Hey everyone, this Sunday there will be a sale on some things at our store! Come buy some things at our store! It will be a really cool sale! That's right! Sunday, Monday, Wednesday!" This would be followed by a terrible jingle, with the jingle writers' strike to blame. The dictionary writers' strike would probably be next. How will kids in America ever learn what a "garbanzo" is unless someone is there to write it in a dictionary? You tell me. If this escalation of strikes continues, it will inevitably lead to my own strike, the Craig Blake strike. I will strike until everyone stops striking... a counter-strike.fitted with a picket sign, "No more striking!" or maybe, "Striking never helped anybody!" From there it could even widen to a more broad strike that I could call the writer's of frivolity strike. Readers in search of frivolity in this newspaper will find I am too busy striking to write it. So instead they will be faced with a few huge pictures of my face to cover the whole page, since I will be too busy striking to layout the opinion section. This will not only be detrimental to readers in search of frivolity, but also innocent victims looking for the sports page. Innocent Victim: Let's see... sports... sports... Aaaah! All I know is that if this strike continues for another month I will lose my soul. And if it leads to a writer's of frivolity strike that forces me to print giant pictures of my face, I will lose my My complexion can't live up to that kind of scrutiny. So please, I beg of you producers who have been drawing out this long strike: Just give these people million dollar salaries for goodness sake! If you will not do this, the very least you could do is to gather the writers into one place and brutally attack them with the state BY CRAIG BLAKE Sun Opinion Editor Dixie The writers' strike began on Nov. 5, 2007, and was soon followed by the Broadway stagehand strike on Nov. 10. However, the stagehand strike was quickly resolved just 18 days later as soon as it was discovered that all the stagehands wanted were some more leotards.1 "Some more leotards. Until we get these items we will continue to strike. Thank you," said a spokesman for the stagehands in a press conference. The negotiations over the writers' strike, on the other hand, have now lasted longer than the Cuban Missile Crisis. This strike could have been resolved faster had it been negotiated between John F. Kennedy, the Soviet Union, Fidel Castro and involved nuclear weaponry. Fact: the writers' strike has also lasted longer than the Civil War, the construction of the pyramids, and the last 200 years. First of all, would like to make the point that I don't think striking is a great way to solve problems. I think a great way to solve problems is to fold under pressure, do whatever other people want you to do, and keep writing your television shows. That is my motto. Also, in the event of a strike, I think the best course of action is to surrender immediately and do anything the strikers demand. The second best course of action, I learned in history last semester, is to gather the strikers in one place arid have them brutally attacked by the state militia. The third best course of action .is to convince all the local newspapers to not cover the strike, exploit the ringleader's longing to emigrate to Santa Fe, N.M., and hope they have no choreography skills, musical talent or heart. This course of action has historically not been the most successful. Once they band together it is only a matter of time that they realize nothing can break them, and no one can make them give their rights away. This is as opposed to believing that everything can break them, and that they should give all their rights to you, which is a preferred state of mind. However, the fact that the producers haven't taken any of these three courses of action really worries me. Just think of all.the other strikes this could ignite. The stagehand strike was just the beginning. The broadcast news writers strike could be next. Imagine our anchors without the aid of a teleprompter: .. Through the looking glass (MCT) - NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT PROBLEMS GO AWAY Two men burglarized a home in Kitchener, Ontario, but were confronted by police as they were walking out the front door. So they ran back in, locked the doors and proceeded to drink all the homeowner's booze. WHO IS SHE?! YOU TELL ME RIGHT IT, EH? A homeless Naples, Fla., man who kept calls to the 911 making police number from the Greyhound bus station was told to stop by a deputy sheriff. He responded: "I will call 911 whenever I want to, Sweetcakes, and there is nothing you can do about it." He then went over to the pay phone, called 911, and asked the dispatcher to tell him how many stars were in the sky. He was immediately arrested. YOU SEE, DUDE, WE WERE FOLLOWy NOW! A man was watching TV with his girlfriend at his Bonita Springs, Fla., home, ING THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD A sheriffs deputy in Denver, who pulled over a car full of teenagers, immediately suspected they had been smoking marijuana. His suspicions were confirmed when he asked the driver where they were coming from, and he replied, "It's complicated." MOMMY'S HOME - WHAT ARE THE COPS DOING HERE? A Houston woman went to Nigeria to marry a man she met on the Internet, leaving her eight young children home alone. She planned to be back-ia month or two at which time she will be arrested for child dndangerment. DRINKING DOES NOT MAKE YOUR when he received a phone call from another woman. This prompted the girlfriend, who had been drinking, to jump on top of him and try to grab the phone. He fled. She grabbed a shotgun, and, despite the fact that she wasn't wearing any pants, chased him into the street. Police involvement resulted. I GUESS THIS LOOKS PRETTY BAD FOR ME, EH JUDGE? A man with four previous drunk driving convictions showed up drunk at a Worcester, Mass., court to face yet another DUI charge. He had a blood-alcohlevel of .40 - five times the legal limit. (c) 2008, McClatchy-Tribun- News Service e Distributed by McClatchy-TribunInformation Services. 0 e GSr 5M ics.ccm t " ft ' P tt rt r r i m cir .71 T;; CJtCliD tilW dating site Just for local adventures. Cingias from Richfield to Mesquite looking for you to shzre Fun, Friendship, it s r WEDNESDAY, OPINION 8 - DIXIE SUN Special The first ou who sign up (X post a photo will receive a , 3 month Platinum ince 8c Relationships. r :tos Events Calendar Chat Ma!e friends Winks Hot lists Match Nalier Forums ftajibership -- MORE FREE- Thzres someone for everybody Find a date Tonight today wwwsusingles.com A Partner of... BSTNOW.COM Utah ow mythical JJocallif- PUBUSHtffc FOR MAKING VP A LIST Going 'Lilies o find . ength possit ol ieme usical jetion gncha Theate dis mar to a nion v rough ivne, P SGM1 be p Stf lain Sti ill txie ! jrough Man c play w Death penalty justified BY BRETT PRUITT Dixie Sun Staff Writer Does strapping a convicted criminal to a gurney and injecting him with a lethal dose of medical drugs con- stitute cruel and unusual punishment"? Donald Verrilli has argued that it does. Verrilli is the attorney arguing on behalf of Kentucky inmates in the closely watched Supreme Court case of Baze v. Rees. The argument is not over whether capital punishment is unconstitutional. Capital punishment was deemed constitutional by the Supreme Court a couple of decades ago. Rather, the argument rests on the insistence that, if not administered properly, the final drug injected into the prisoner during a lethal injection can cause excruciating pain. So, it is the method of execution in question here, not the execution itself. Ralph Baze, the convicted murderer in this case, used a rifle to ambush two law enforcement officers who were at his house in January 1992. He shot one of them in the back three arguments against the death penalty, and none of them have convinced me that we should abandon it. If lethal injection is too inhumane for our delicate palates, then I say we should go back to hanging Its quick, its painless and rope is the condemned. cheap. Call me barbaric, vulgar, backward-whatever-b- ut frankly, I couldnt care less as to whether Baze feels a slight discomfort during his last moments here on earth. I dont necessarily think pain should be intentionally inflicted upon a condemned prisoner. But then again, I dont think people should be running around shooting cops in the back of the head either. Dont get me wrong, its not revenge-it- s justice. Its the BY JOEL BRINKLEY MCT It seems hard to believe, but less than one year from today a new president-elect will be preparing to enter the White House. Of course, he or she will face an unprecedented array of foreign-policchallenges: The Iraq war, global warning, Iran's nuclear program. But not y least among them is regaining America's stature in the world. At no other time in this country's modern history has America's reputation fallen to a point so low. Still, the new president should be heartened by a contradictory but indisputable fact: The popularity of the United States worldwide. Yes, the popularity. I've worked in Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Iraq and many other places where America's image appears to be near bottom. In many of these places, I have visited the United States Embassy at 9 a.m. on Thursday - or whenever the consular section is accepting visa applications. There, lines stretch around the block and back again. And many of the prospective applicants are young men, much like those young men who march in the streets denouncing the Yankee-Zioni- st enemy. Ask them, as I have: What are you doing here? Why would you want to go to America? And every time, they will say: Oh, I don't dislike Americans. I love America. I just don't like your government. They say that even in countries like Saudi Arabia, where seems to course through the blood. Of course, 15 of 19 hijackers on 911 came from the kingdom. During the time I have spent reporting there in recent years, I could not find anyone who was unwilling to spit vitriol about the United States. And yet, if you introduce yourself to any Saudi man, chances are he will immediately tell you that he went to college at the University of Arizona, or some other school here, and wax eloquent about how much he enjoyed his time in the United States. To this day, a rite of passage for well-of- f Saudi men is to attend college in America. A few months ago, an opinion column in the Arab News, an English-languag- e newspaper in Riyadh, discussed this paradox and said: "It is curious that so many Arabs remain envious of the American way of life at a time when the U.S. such contempt for the Arab people. The truth is that the idea of America retains a dazzling allure - though America is afflicted by a chronic moral and spiritual malaise." The Arab world remains deeply conflicted. And no matter what the new president does, it may impossible to win over the fundamentalists on the Arab street. They have a different vision of the world. As Abbas Milani, an Iranian scholar at Stanford University, puts it: "These are the people who see Islam as an alternative to modernity." That may be an ideological contest the United States cannot win. Still, much of the rest of the world wants - needs - to have good relations with America. In Great Britain, Tony Blair lost office primarily because people thought he was too cozy with jring t iquisiti also a deterrent. For the. le abo who disagree about cap, times. As the other tried to retreat, Baze shot him twice in the back. Then he walked up to the downed officer as he lay on the ground and executed him by shooting him in the back of the head. Bazes innocence is not in question in this case. He did, in fact, commit the crime he was convicted of. Few issues stir the emotions of people like the issue of capital punishment. Ive heard all the tal punishments deterrs; effect, I submit that mg Bazes death he will not commit any more crimes, and he will not murder anymore law enforcement officers. liguel c Statistics also show that the death penalty ' deters crime, especially whenii comes to domestic homi cide. The state of Utah has carried out 22 execution; since 1930. The method execution in Utah is chosen by the condemned, either lethal injection or atlon-Cfiring squad. If the conchoosh0 to demned refuses then he or she is put to night, I death by means of letha. f La Mi If the oj injection. For those who conside ighter c putting another human being to death a vile at: partially agree. I consic the heinous, premedih murder of another huz f being a vile act. I consr. shooting two law enfor&l ment officers, who were I simply performing their L job, a vile act. But I cons' er condemning the guilt eoe to death an act of justice If we were to abolish r Dixie death penalty, I should h!e neai to see the first step take:ut St. by my friends the murde two u C ers. -- The R 'ildlife Alphonse Karr Dnvent U.S. remains popular sentiment -- - FACTS ABOUT HIM n ;BUY-SELL-TRA- 5- JANUARY 16 home lecies 'ound gthe President Bush. They called him Bush's " f c pood-rest- And yet his successor, pd the Gordon Brown, has haroccordir tried to distance himself puch.oi from Washington. (urator Former German juj the Chancellor Gerhard iecjes office Schroeder won j through vocal oppositionBirst mal to the Iraq war - and ( Nonetheless, his success muS' thi pro'' Angela Merkel, has And ;The Rt to be quite friendly. what about France? No vns the country was a greater om St. antagonist during the osenbr buildup to the Iraq war and beyond. But when jj.es France's new president, rn Nicolas Sarkozy, visited Bush at the White House' aru this month, he declared me m me. want to reconquer the heart of America." of utlRse his So, is this reservoir goodwill enough to turn ere m an things around in Januaruilt 2009? Probably not com j an 0f pletely. If I were the nev amme president, in my inaugug, tion speech I would lrn announce that I amclosj lr( can' ing Guantanamo. I , thihk of anything he or she could do to so quick show the world that day in Washington Very soon after that,! would launch a signifies new initiative on global warming - somethingOfti says: We get it now. course, the new preside' will very quickly have tej begin withdrawing troop from Iraq. That is a doff tic demand first. But it " be welcomed abroad. And I am sure he or s will be smart enough nf to use provocative throf away lines like "you're us or against us" or "bh 'em on." wori Winning back the ?' may not be as difficult j. seems. In fact the most j important act will be Bush's goodbye wave steps aboard Marine for the last time aH 0 S Jsenbru B atmos |