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Show The Dixie Sun 8 Page The joys of new technology: It'll override your microchips Rows of students stood quietly in awe as truck after truck droe through the campus headed for the library. No one knew what they contained, but the ominous feeling in the air. could be felt like the weight of a heavy thing. '1 here had been rumors circulating around the campus: overheard whisperings in the bathrooms, hastily passed notes in the rear of biology class, and secret messages written in the mashed potatoes. The trucks were thought to be gas-mas- front?" le was beginning to leave when a library aide came over, turned it on, and I left. Ed breathed a sigh of relief and remembered, for a moment, what his teacher had told him: "I want this paced, left (ustilied, 12 point, Ialatino print with a bold, centered headline, and an italicized name on the bottom. And do it on WordPerfect!" Ed's mind returned to the present, and his fingers pounded on the keyboard for an hour before the girl hogging IRC since yesterday turned and said, "You've gotta use the mouse." Suspicious, Ed moved the little rodent around a lew times until a menu came upon the screen. The menu said: double-s- VEMfu-EITdll- D Microsoft Word, QuarkXPress, and and Adobe Printshop. Wide-eyescared, Ed screamed, "Where's d WordPerfect!?" Quickly this time, the aide came over to him and said, "This computer doesn't have WordPerfect." "Where can I find it!?" Ed asked. "On any other computer," the aide replied. Eventually, Ed began to write his paper. After three hours of grueling work, he decided it was time to print. After several unsuccessful tries, the aide returned and told him, "These computers aren't hooked up to a printer." "Aaarrrgh!" he screamed in horror, but soon learned he could save it on a disk and move to another computer. I lis paper hadn't been on the new computer's screen long when it began to disappear. Piece by piece it slowly but surely fled the system. Nearly in hysterics now, Ed yelled for help again. "Oh, forgot to tell you," said the aide, "these computers are infected with a irus and we're not using them. They eat all the programs." From this point on, Ed's experience became blurry even to him. But it is known that whenever anybody goes to visit him in the mental ward, the first thing he tells them is, "Don't go into the computer lab. It's an evil, evil place." I David Johnson is opinion editor of Tin Sim. Diie HELP WANTED 1988 HONDA INTERCEPTOR Bullet Bike. Great to ride around on in this blasted heat. 250 cc engine turbocharged. Asking $1999. Excellent condition; blue and white. Call THE DIXIE SUN is looking for two ad representatives for the 1995-9school year. NEED A NEW lease on life? How about a housing contract until June 1996 to share an apartment close to the college with a student? Rent is $275, plus half the electricity and your own food. All you have to bring is your own clothes ... and money, of course! Must be in by June 1. Please dont plan to bring half the college with you. Must be female with good LDS standards. Please call after 7 p.m. You must talk to an answering machine. Call Please hurry as really need to find a roomate to share this apartment. 673-655- 11 a ila GET A LOAD OF THESE FANTASTIC Johnson FOR SALE ROOMMATE WANTED 7ffj)o) u delate fo David GLflssariEB 674-726- 16, 19g DIXIE COLLEGE The Last ITJord n carrying computers. After the cargo was unloaded and the were gone, strange men in one soul entered the library. His name was bd, and he teas a brave man. fid parted the heavy, green doors like a cowboy entering a bar, and after seeing nothing unusual, headed for the computer room. Word spread quickly around campus that someone had gone in, and a crowd enveloped the library. Would Ed return? Sitting down at the nearest computer, Ed realized that, yes, they were dillcr-en- t. Cautiously, he attempted to turn it on ... and failed. "Where's the switch to this thing?!" he yelled in his grulf voice. "Why isn't there just one lousy switch on the THE May 6 One will service accounts; the second will service accounts. Job pays generous commission on sales, plus a series of bonuses. Great part-tim- e e job with potential for wages. Also, its a great opportunity for work experience that will reflect positively on your resume. For details, see Paul Husselbee in the Student Publications Office or call full-tim- ext. 486. PERSONALS THE GROUNDS LOOK much better this quarter. A big thank you to all you students who have refrained from leaving your trash laying around and double kudos to those who pick up the trash the dorks still scatter! DS SPSfGGMD-- S |